Have you ever been knocked down by life's curveballs, only to pick yourself up again? Our latest Private Lounge chat episode is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit, as we open our hearts to discuss the stings of rejection and the grip of financial challenges. We tackle the uphill battles of loan acquisition, the emotional toll of student debts, and the predatory nature of some systems that bind us. It's a conversation that weaves the thread of hope through the fabric of hardship, reminding us that while the struggle is real, it isn't a solo journey.
Transitioning from hardship to personal triumph, our dialogue moves to the growth that buds from adversity. We share stories of how crushing professional rejection can lead to a stronger sense of self, the value of recognizing one's worth early in life, and the beauty of personal development. These anecdotes aren't just about overcoming, but about flourishing in the face of societal beauty standards and the transformative power of self-acceptance. They're tales of life's unexpected admirers and the hidden potential that lies within each of us.
Finally, we celebrate the bold steps and life-affirming choices that define our journeys. From taking calculated risks in career shifts to the joyous leap of relocating, we highlight the courage behind these decisions and the meticulous planning that often goes unnoticed. We delve into the richness of supportive communities, the bravery in sharing our stories, and the impact our actions have on those around us. Join us as we navigate through the complexities of life, sharing not only a dose of reality but also a heaping helping of optimism for anyone on the cusp of taking their own leap of faith.
The full video version is YouTube.
Thank you for stopping by. Please visit our website: All About The Joy and add, like and share. We'd appreciate that greatly. Also, if you want to find us anywhere on social media, please check out the link in bio page.
Music By Geovane Bruno, Moments, 3481
Editing by Team A-J
Host, Carmen Lezeth
DISCLAIMER: As always, please do your own research and understand that the opinions in this podcast and livestream are meant for entertainment purposes only. States and other areas may have different rules and regulations governing certain aspects discussed in this podcast. Nothing in our podcast or livestream is meant to be medical or legal advice. Please use common sense, and when in doubt, ask a professional for advice, assistance, help and guidance.
Have you ever been knocked down by life's curveballs, only to pick yourself up again? Our latest Private Lounge chat episode is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit, as we open our hearts to discuss the stings of rejection and the grip of financial challenges. We tackle the uphill battles of loan acquisition, the emotional toll of student debts, and the predatory nature of some systems that bind us. It's a conversation that weaves the thread of hope through the fabric of hardship, reminding us that while the struggle is real, it isn't a solo journey.
Transitioning from hardship to personal triumph, our dialogue moves to the growth that buds from adversity. We share stories of how crushing professional rejection can lead to a stronger sense of self, the value of recognizing one's worth early in life, and the beauty of personal development. These anecdotes aren't just about overcoming, but about flourishing in the face of societal beauty standards and the transformative power of self-acceptance. They're tales of life's unexpected admirers and the hidden potential that lies within each of us.
Finally, we celebrate the bold steps and life-affirming choices that define our journeys. From taking calculated risks in career shifts to the joyous leap of relocating, we highlight the courage behind these decisions and the meticulous planning that often goes unnoticed. We delve into the richness of supportive communities, the bravery in sharing our stories, and the impact our actions have on those around us. Join us as we navigate through the complexities of life, sharing not only a dose of reality but also a heaping helping of optimism for anyone on the cusp of taking their own leap of faith.
The full video version is YouTube.
Thank you for stopping by. Please visit our website: All About The Joy and add, like and share. We'd appreciate that greatly. Also, if you want to find us anywhere on social media, please check out the link in bio page.
Music By Geovane Bruno, Moments, 3481
Editing by Team A-J
Host, Carmen Lezeth
DISCLAIMER: As always, please do your own research and understand that the opinions in this podcast and livestream are meant for entertainment purposes only. States and other areas may have different rules and regulations governing certain aspects discussed in this podcast. Nothing in our podcast or livestream is meant to be medical or legal advice. Please use common sense, and when in doubt, ask a professional for advice, assistance, help and guidance.
Okay, hi Andrea, how are you? I'm great.
Andrea Shields Nunez:How are you?
Carmen Lezeth:I forgot the name of our show. Welcome to join the private lounge. Well, I'm getting used to this new thing. You know what I mean and I'm so excited about it. And I don't know if you were able to catch last night's show, but I let Rick know that that was the highest and it's only been like four days. It's the highest podcast audio and for me on YouTube, the highest most viewed was the last private lounge I did.
Andrea Shields Nunez:Nice.
Carmen Lezeth:I know we are right. Well, it's so funny because Rick made a good point. He was saying like I think it's because the word private might have probably everyone's whatever work.
Carmen Lezeth:Let me get in on that. Whatever works, you know what I mean. And sex, no, I'm just gonna make it like a whole other thing. Sex People gonna be like yeah, no, but yeah, so we'll see how it goes. But thank you for joining me so that we can have one of our really good private conversations. And I know we had a subject matter we were going to talk about, but I'm in a bad mood and I would have called you anyway, but I think I need to just vent it and if it doesn't work, I'll delete it out. I don't know, whatever. But first, how are you doing?
Andrea Shields Nunez:I'm fine. I'm tired and I can't believe it's February and I'm ready for the weekend and I don't like the rain and you know, that's where I'm at today.
Carmen Lezeth:So the reason why I'm in a bad mood is because I got. I'm just, I'm tired of rejection. I'm tired and I was thinking about this earlier. First of all, I made the big mistake of opening an envelope and, as you know, I am trying to get more funding because, even though people think this is just something I throw together, you know and I don't know, this costs a lot of money and time and it's exhausting and I love what I'm doing, with all about the joy and it's really taking a foothold. But I was like you know what, let me see if I can get a little bit more money.
Carmen Lezeth:And I'm so tired of the struggle of just trying to get. I'm not even asking for, like, free money. I'm not asking for, like you know, grants or whatever, just getting an increase in a loan or getting a personal loan. And here's the thing I have good credit, I have good income and they still it. Just it doesn't matter. It's like you really have to have somebody I don't know fight for you to get these things right.
Carmen Lezeth:So I was like you know what, I'm in a place now in my life where I can just go online and do it online and after the increase and so on. And so I opened up that letter and I was like I'm tired of people saying pull yourself up by your bootstraps. Like stop saying that, because there is nobody else who is more indicative of pulling yourself up by your bootstraps than you and me right here now. Do you know what I mean? Like I don't know any other two people on the planet who grew up the way we did, in different worlds, but the same kind of struggle. You know crap, and I'm sorry to throw you into this, I'm just I'm sure there are some.
Andrea Shields Nunez:But yes, we worked our asses off and tried and done all kinds of you know things.
Carmen Lezeth:But even you know, you told me about the student loan thing to like turn around and go do it on the save plan. So I went and inquired about that, and so there's that part of it too, right. So I call, I talk to my people at my place. And then I call, and I was, and I was on hold forever over at the federal student government, whatever thing is. And they're like yeah, if you do that, though, we're going to increase what you're paying right now, interest wise, there's no guarantee it's going to be forgiven, and I mean it's likely, but they're not saying that they're going to, because you might not qualify for it. And then they're like what was the other thing? Oh, there's some penalties and fees for moving it over to begin with, right. So I'm like I don't know why I'm going to do this. Then, like, I get it, but I'm tired of the struggle, I'm exhausted.
Andrea Shields Nunez:I mean just even what you described. You took like a minute to describe it. I'm sure it was days, hours and hours and days and days of thinking about it, working on it, sitting on hold, talking to a person comparing the information. Like you have to put in so much time and energy just to maybe get a break.
Carmen Lezeth:Yeah, and I think, for me too. I think, like I opened up the letter today about the loan right being rejected on the loan and we're not even talking about a lot of money here, by the way we're not like and this is the hard part I work with people who spend 50 grand on their American Express bill per month on bullshit and can get a loan easily. You know and I'm sure there are people who are going to be listening to be like well, that's a different circumstance. They have this. They have I know, I know that's my point Like, when you come from nothing and you have nothing and you're trying to build something, you need that break.
Carmen Lezeth:And the only thing I know for sure and of course, my eyes are all watery, whatever it's like you don't get used to rejection. You just get better at trying to stand back up right, like that's what I realized, because usually I'd be in a ball crying like the world is a bear, like it wouldn't be fun, yeah, and it's just, it's exhausting because it's like. This is when I'm like you know what? Why am I doing this? Then what's the point? I know I love it and I wanna do it and I think it's helping people and we got some new followers and we got some new listeners or whatever. But I am working a whole other job on top of my already crazy job and I can't do it all myself right, and so it's just a weird thing. I don't know how do you deal with rejection. I mean, you're probably never rejected, so you don't know.
Andrea Shields Nunez:No, I'm rejected plenty. I kind of internalize it and, at least externally, move on fairly quickly, but I can feel the stress in me in the way that I interact with people. You know what I mean. It just gets me really down, you know, and it's. There are all kinds of things in the world that get me down, so it's almost hard to differentiate. Like what is this one about, right? So I just withdraw until I can kind of build my energy back up. You know how. You know, it's like you haven't heard from me in three weeks. It's like I'm just dealing with my shit, you know yeah.
Carmen Lezeth:Because you and I are different in that way. So I tend to I will let everyone know, like if I make a lot of money or I have a lot of money, I let everybody know, and if I ain't got nothing and I'm getting screwed, I'm gonna let everybody know, like there's no really kind of me internalizing it.
Andrea Shields Nunez:Yeah, I'm just a lot more private and I honestly, truly, if I'm stressed and upset or whatever, I tend to kind of like dissociate. I'm like all right, I'm just gonna go sit in the corner and read a book and like check out of everything that's happening in my life right now.
Carmen Lezeth:Yeah, and I'm not that I get. I mean I don't wanna say emotional, cause you're emotional too, but I wear it on my sleeve or whatever it is and I get. Really I get incensed because it's unfair and look at, life isn't supposed to be fair. So I'm not delusional about that, but it's exhausting. It's exhausting to keep trying, trying, trying. And as much as I love like Gary Vee or all these people that I love listening to and I know that they're right I don't think it always works out for everybody.
Andrea Shields Nunez:I don't, I don't, it doesn't, it doesn't. I mean, that's, that's what we're sold, and you know definitely the people that make it like it works for them so that's their experience, you know what I mean and like no, no shade or whatever to them, it's like I just like kept adding, kept adding. It works for me and it's like okay, awesome. But there are, for sure, there's like a whole crowd of people behind them who worked hard and worked hard and kept at it and kept at it and tried it this way and tried it this way and tried it this way that it didn't work for Right.
Carmen Lezeth:And then and we kind of talked about this last time on one of our episodes or whatever where you know everyone's perception of me or of you is very different than what the reality is, and I think that's super. Everybody, like there are people who are going to listen to this or watch this and they're gonna be like whatever. She lives in California by the beach and she works for all the. You know what I mean Like cause everyone has a perception of what they think your life is like. No, I'm not sitting here saying you know, homeless, and then the struggle and sad I'm saying when I look at what my success is and what I want it to be, those are two very, very different things. There's me surviving and doing what I need to do and yes, if we look at my entire life, I'm successful, but if we look at what I've wanted to do, I haven't even started yet because I can't get through.
Andrea Shields Nunez:Yeah, and I think with every kind of I don't know step that you take out of your circumstance, naturally your you know view of what is possible and your vision for what you want expands Like we want that, that's natural. And so as you move further up, sort of out of your original circumstances, it's like okay, I did that, now this, now this. Well, I, you know, and there's a ceiling.
Carmen Lezeth:I mean, I would agree with you, except that the one thing I've always wanted to do has been the same since I was 12. But even before that. I just remember it more after my mom died. But I've always wanted to be a performer, Always. It's never changed. You've known that, right, Like you've gone to some of my rinky dinky theater performances, You've seen my my mom.
Andrea Shields Nunez:Critically acclaimed theater performances.
Carmen Lezeth:You're what I said, critically acclaimed theater performances. You know what I mean. Like I'm just saying, like you, like my friends have always showed up to all my stuff, so, but I'm, you know, being a performer or doing something like this, hosting or whatever it's, this is my jam. Like this is what I want to be doing and I do it, but I'm not doing it to the extent that I want to be doing it and I'm doing it consistently having, like everyone else, I'm not complaining in that sense. I'm just saying I want people to stop talking about pulling yourself up by your bootstraps, because the only people who ever say that are people who've never had to do it.
Carmen Lezeth:Yeah, never had to do it.
Andrea Shields Nunez:You gotta have some trickin' boots to pull yourself up by your bootstraps. Bitch, that's right.
Carmen Lezeth:It's true. So I'm I'm I'm angry and and sad and confused cause I don't know what else to do. I know that what I'm doing right now isn't working, and so I'm always a fan of saying, if it's not working, gotta change it up. But you know, I don't know what my options are, because you know I'm not going to go steal money. You know what I mean Like. So I applied for grants, I applied for a loan, I you know, and I even feel like I know this sounds really pompous.
Carmen Lezeth:We need what I'm trying to do and we were talking about this yesterday on the show, kind of. You know, everybody's so angry and upset I don't know if you saw what happened with Elmo. Did you see what happened with Elmo on X and Twitter? So we were talking about that yesterday on the show and it's like people need a place to start connecting again. And I'm not saying I'm the be all end, all of that, but I would.
Carmen Lezeth:I think that's what's great about all about the joy and the show and what I'm seeing happening and people who reach out to me or start watching the show, like I have to give a shout out to Neil, who is a Facebook friend, who came on the show yesterday on the chat, and then he sent me a direct message today. You know he was saying he's like I always love listening to I had no idea he was listening to the show, but that's kind of the comments I keep getting and I feel like there's something here that I love and want to do and I'm like, yeah, no, but you can't, because you know the only way you're going to do it is if, like, I can't not have the money I need to buy the services I need to do it. And you see, it's like a weird chicken egg thing.
Andrea Shields Nunez:Yeah, yeah, and there's only so much time in the day, right? Are you going to work 20 hours a day? Essentially, you know job one and then come and do job two, but I need the money from job one to keep doing what I'm doing Exactly, yeah. Job one is your. Your current funding source Right.
Carmen Lezeth:And then and you know we've had this conversation before like you and I, I get so annoyed by it, but it's like people just don't seem to understand. Like no one is asking to cheat, nobody is asking, you know. Look at the student loan thing. We've had this conversation before and I'm going to say it for the people who might be listening for the first time. I wrote a blog post about this. I posted my bill.
Carmen Lezeth:I am with Naviant, which I have no problem saying they are the loan servicing company that bought my student loans, which I don't even think that was legal. I don't know, but I well, because they were federal loans before you know. But whatever, I don't know what all that is, but I took out an $18,000 loan to finish going to the University of Vermont, which I graduated from, got grants, worked 30 hours a week, work, study, did I never went on. What do you call it spring break? I never did all these things. I stayed there during the summer work. I paid for college and then asked for an $18,000 loan and got it. I got the 18th and finished college, thankfully, and got my bachelor's degree. So here's a kid from the hood being successful, I guess. Whatever right.
Andrea Shields Nunez:Pulling yourself up by your bootstraps working your butt off using what was available to you, so that you know I remember sitting in the financial aid office whether, like you, need this loan or you can't come back to school, Right? No, that's what it was.
Carmen Lezeth:Okay, by the way, okay, give me the loan I did. Best piece of advice someone never gave me was do your work, study in the financial aid office, which I did for two years. So every time a grant came by or every time, I was like applying for it. Even though I didn't get a lot of them, I did get some you know what I mean and I started learning how it all worked. So worked my butt off, graduated, got my bachelor's moved to California, blah, blah, blah became successful.
Carmen Lezeth:Whatever I've paid back I mean now it's more than what it was, but I think I paid back I've paid back like $28,000. So it's $18,000 loan. I've already paid back like $28,000. I still owe 50 something thousand dollars on a student loan. That is predatory. I have done everything you're supposed to do correctly. I have used the system that was in front of me. What I have never defaulted on my school loan I have you know what I mean Like when the economy crashed, I let them know and you go into deferment, right. I've never done anything wrong so that I could not be in communication with my loan servicing company. So this is what I'm, not an anomaly. I'm not asking for special treatment. That is predatory, that is bad, and you're in the same boat. I mean, it's the same situation.
Andrea Shields Nunez:Yep, so when we're talking about it's enraging, it's enraging and like, like so many things, you just feel utterly powerless.
Carmen Lezeth:Powerless. Yeah, so every month I pay. I think it's $382.17. For I'm gonna be paying it till I'm like and here's the thing, the reason why I posted it on my blog post Naviance, these companies, no offense, cause, you know, whatever they post it on the like. When you go online and put in your account number, they post that you took out an $18,000 loan, you've paid back $28,000, there's no shame in it for them and you still owe $50,000. Yeah, come on, it's crazy, that's.
Carmen Lezeth:And look at it. If you can't fix it for me, fine, whatever, I'm not gonna be able to pay that off for the rest of my life. I already know that, you know. But you know what's really sad your kids, your kids, all of our children. I don't have children, but those are my people too. Right? We're not getting better at this. We're making it work to get an education and to pull yourself up by your bootstraps crap. Yeah, I know this isn't what we were gonna talk about. Where's the joy, girl? I don't know. Look at the joy. You know what the joy is. I'm still here and talking about it. I'm serious, and you know what? I still have my heart and I'm still gonna have my I don't wanna say faith because people confuse that nowadays I get it, so I don't wanna use the word faith, but I have all this hope and it's not gonna bring me down. I'm gonna keep doing what I do.
Andrea Shields Nunez:That's the thing and I mean truly not to make a commercial for you, but that's the thing to me about this show is like we always talk about hard stuff, things that are upsetting whatever you know what I mean Like things that are difficult, even what we were just talking about, the way that you handle it versus the way that I handle it. Right, but we come back. You know, and I know some people that's a lot more difficult than others. Some people don't come back right, but that's, and we have each other. We have the other people that you talk to to commiserate with, have a laugh about it, because what else can you do?
Carmen Lezeth:Right.
Andrea Shields Nunez:You know what I mean. And we come back to live. So far, another day, I know right.
Carmen Lezeth:And we gonna keep hope, because I got the joy inside me. I really believe it, though, but sometimes the struggle is real, like this just happened, and so this is what I think the show's about too and again, I'm not trying to make this a this is we were gonna talk about makeup tips. I know, I know, I know, I know what happened to that, I know, but here's the thing that's interesting is, it is because I have so many people. There's no doubt, if we weren't going to meet and do this today, what was gonna happen.
Carmen Lezeth:You know and I don't I mean people probably can't see that I'm in tears, but my eyes are really watery is I would have called you because I was so upset about it, and you know, I mean, I don't wanna cry on here, but it's like it is hard to keep, especially now that I'm in my fifties Like all I want to do is something that brings me happiness and helps other people, and I finally figure out a way to do it, and yet I feel like, okay, it's going to be stopped. If I don't find a way, Either I'm going to get really sick, because I can't keep doing it all, or I'm gonna have to stop something, and the problem is I don't wanna stop growing and being this creative person, but I have to pay my rent and my food at loads. You know what I mean.
Andrea Shields Nunez:Like it's so funny. All back comes down to yeah, about $300, whatever dollars and however many cents could be going to somebody else in the economy helping another person pay their bills. Come on now.
Carmen Lezeth:Yeah and look it even. When it comes to that, I'm fine, I'll pay my student loan, whatever. I don't care anymore, I'll pay it. That's not even I'm fine. But we got to fix the system for the next generation or for this generation or for anybody who is just trying. Education is a really great thing. You know what I mean. You don't have to go to college, but education needs to be something that we give everyone an opportunity to have. You know what I mean. So we can have a society of people that have knowledge and information and the ability to use it. You know.
Andrea Shields Nunez:We'll let know how to learn. That's to me, that's the takeaway right, you learn how to learn, yeah yeah, so I don't know.
Carmen Lezeth:So makeup tips Well, we actually weren't gonna talk about makeup tips, but it's so fucking funny. We were gonna talk about what would you tell your 20 year old self?
Andrea Shields Nunez:You know what you sent that question Like? The initial response in my head was don't take out the fucking student loans.
Carmen Lezeth:Quit your junior year, just quit, yeah, go to a state school. You don't need college. You know what I mean. Yeah, I don't even know what to say about the do over, because I've thought about this. I mean cause that bill has haunted me forever and I hate when I have to pay that bill every month and I don't have it on automatic payment cause I don't always pay it on the same. You know what I mean. I paid on time, but it depends on when I have money or whatever. Cause when you work with a little small business that I have, I'm an independent contractor, so I'm sometimes I work a lot and I make money and sometimes I don't.
Carmen Lezeth:So I feel like for me it's not that I would change, cause I think me going to college, even though I hated the university of Vermont sorry, everybody knows it's not like a thing I'm hiding, you know. Yeah, uvm, unless you want to sponsor us, I love you Once you want to wipe out that loan for me, uvm. I think for me it was the transition of understanding the world in a much bigger way. Because of the circumstance I grew up in, I feel like all I knew was what I learned on the street. I didn't understand the bigger picture and I think college was that gateway for me. So I don't know. I'm sorry, I said I agree with that. Same for me, oh really Okay.
Andrea Shields Nunez:Yeah, I mean I had traveled a bit before and, you know, moved around a little bit. Also, I saw my mom going to school all through my you know childhood and teens. So there was a clear understanding that that's how you move yourself forward in life, you know. So I don't regret going to college. I could have probably gotten just as good an education at a much less expensive school, right. So there's that. I'm sure I would have still probably had to take out loans, but you know they wouldn't have been for as much.
Andrea Shields Nunez:So you know, I would never say I wouldn't have gone to college, but Right.
Carmen Lezeth:I mean, I think also, you know it's hard to regret something Like that's a thing If you don't know what you don't know, you can't like. I did the best I could and I think that's the thing in my life, that is the constant. I do the best I can every single day. So I have no regrets. Do I wish the system was different? Of course I do Like I, you know.
Carmen Lezeth:I wish somebody had said to me you know what, don't take out that loan, take a year off. I don't know what could have happened, you know. Or move to California right now, stay there for a year. But I didn't have anyone to give me that information and I don't know if that would have worked. Because even though I graduated from college, it was hard. It was a hard thing for me to do, and I'm not saying I was a horrible student, I was a great student, but I was exhausted and I was working from a deficit all the time because I was working and also educationally I didn't have the best high school. You know I didn't have the best education, whatever. So again, you're always man. This is a depressing yeah.
Andrea Shields Nunez:I'm just saying I think your point about you know we're all doing the best we can, right. So even the question like what advice would you give your 20 year old self? It's like, okay, well, I can easily look back on that and see you know what I would tell my own kids. But like, all right, I know you went down this road and that was probably not a great idea, so maybe you could go down, you know, but when I was 20, I was just doing the best I could with the information that I had. You know, yeah.
Carmen Lezeth:And I think that's kind of like. If I think about the trajectory of my life, I feel like that's what I do every single day. You just do the best you can and you deal with it as best you can and you do try to find the positivity in it because there is no other choice for me. Like, I don't need to be depressed about getting rejected for a loan or getting rejected for whatever. I can't be depressed about it. I can be depressed about it for, like you know, a day I'm gonna give it a good day and I'm gonna cry about it or whatever. But then you have to be able to brush yourself off, get back up and walk through it, and that part does get easier. Not the initial pain, but being able like I've done this so many times now being rejected that getting up is not the hard part, you know.
Andrea Shields Nunez:Yeah yeah For me. Well, you know what you're capable of, right, like I think there's just you know it's knowing yourself better. It's like all right. Like you said, you know how you're gonna process this. Yeah, you know, it doesn't mean it doesn't hurt at all, it just means like, all right, I, you know, I still gotta get up and take care of myself and make dinner and, you know, do all of these things. So I'm gonna give myself this time.
Carmen Lezeth:I just think it's weird, because I try never to compare myself to other people, but it's so hard not to see the wastefulness of how other people take or granted the luxury of having financial resources. You know, I know plenty of people who are great musicians and actors and artists who I know, no matter what they do, they just can't get their foot in the door. Like it's not just me. I'm upset about it, like I'm just having a moment, cause this happened, you know. But I think if I were to tell myself something 20 years ago, like if I could have, if there was a couple of things I could change about my ability, my confidence level as a 20 year old is nothing compared to what it is today. Like I wish I believed that I was really beautiful when I was in my 20s, right, like, because clearly I think I am now. No, but I'm just saying like. Like when I look back on pictures and I look back at and I remember that I thought I was ugly or too fat, the too fat one is really incredible when I look back at what I'm 20, which is, you know, that's all societal, whatever, but just even and I'm gonna share this with you, I know, you know this, but back in the day I worked for a whole bunch of guys in a financial office and they were the reason why I ended up going to college. They're wonderful men, whatever, and I'm not in touch with them as much anymore, but I know how to find them if I needed them or whatever, and they're good people and they were a big reason why I ended up going to college and UVM specifically.
Carmen Lezeth:But years later I found out that one of the hottest guys there, who was married at the time and everybody was in love with or whatever, had a crush on me and really liked me or whatever. You know what I mean. And I found that out years later after he got divorced and remarried. You know what I mean and I remember being upset. Not with that I would have ever dated or been interested in a guy who was you know what I mean Married or whatever cause. That was never my vibe. But if I had known that someone of that stature liked me, I always wonder how that would have changed my ego, if I had really believed or known that. Does that make?
Andrea Shields Nunez:any sense. Yeah, yeah.
Carmen Lezeth:I get that, yeah, and so I think that's what I would have told or would have wished for my 20 year old self to know, to have that confidence of. It's not just a physical thing, though, but that's a big part of how we get a lot of confidence. If you think you're nothing and you think you're, you know you're beneath other people because they're better than you and they would. But if you think a guy would date you because he finds you fascinating and he's like you know this in your head, on this pedestal a wealthy guy and you know so, well educated and a professional, that would change, that would have changed everything for me as a kid from the ghetto. I'm just saying Mm-hmm. So I think that's what I would have told myself.
Andrea Shields Nunez:Yeah, I guess my big one, other than taking out, not taking out the loans would be like just spend this time, this next 10 years, your 20s, working on yourself right, like we all have our everybody, no matter what your circumstances were. You come out, everybody comes out of childhood with some level of like fucked upness.
Carmen Lezeth:Right.
Andrea Shields Nunez:Right and we're all kind of well, maybe not all, but you know we'll work through it kind of in our own timeline, in our own ways. And I think I just like put it away and was like let me just run full force into, you know, relationships and school and work. You know like I was. I always worked. I've worked since I was 13 years old. You know what I mean, because I wanted to like be an adult and have my own money and all of it. And it's like I wish I could have just chilled out and been like just work on yourself, get your work through all of that stuff now so that you can actually my words I was gonna say is like be good at Right, yeah, the other things when the time comes, as opposed to semi working through all of it in the midst of things. You know what I mean.
Andrea Shields Nunez:Yeah, but the boy thing is hard. I just went through a lot of trouble in heartache in my twenties that I think I didn't need to.
Carmen Lezeth:I know, but I think that's hard because that's what you do in your like. Being in love is what you do in your twenties.
Andrea Shields Nunez:I'm like that, but other aspects too. Right, I was just always like running towards something rather than like sitting back and trying to work on myself.
Carmen Lezeth:Okay, be more specific, because I think it's too vague. Like what would you say is a great example? Like what were you running towards?
Andrea Shields Nunez:Like almost kind of what you're talking about like a different level. Like I knew the life that I wanted and so I was always like I said I would never. I always worked. I mean, I had to work right, Like in order, but like even through college and all of those kinds of things, Like I was working full time, it wasn't part time. I didn't work at college, Like I worked a full time job and went to college on the side and, Jesus Christ, for the amount of loans I took I could have, just like you know, not worked. I don't know. I just felt like I didn't have the guidance, like you said, of someone to be like just like, calm down, it will all come if you just take it. Maybe try to take it all a little bit slower.
Carmen Lezeth:But is it true that it will all come? I mean, I guess that's the question, right.
Andrea Shields Nunez:I mean yeah, I guess that is the question, right, who knows, who knows what it would have been. But I just, you know, when I look back on it, I just feel like I wish that I had taken more time trying to figure myself out. You know, it's like seriously, on a serious level.
Carmen Lezeth:I mean, I love that. I don't even I don't think I figured myself out. Just yet I'm like have I figured myself?
Andrea Shields Nunez:out. Yeah, I mean, I don't think it's a work in progress, but I think I just really kind of rejected looking at all of that in order to be in relationships and, you know, be in school. You know, I was in school till I was like 30, whatever years old, like I just was, like I do school, that's what I do, you know what I mean and so, but you also loved school, which I thought about. I did love school, yeah, just loved it, which was weird, it was a good match for me.
Andrea Shields Nunez:I could. I would have be a professional student if I could.
Carmen Lezeth:Well, you know, I mean I think that's kind of the other part of it too, and I'm sorry to bring this up, but you also became a teacher, yeah, and then that didn't work out because it just didn't even pay enough money, like that's so weird. I mean, I don't know if that's why it didn't work out for you, but I just remember you were so excited because you do love school or whatever, and then you were teaching for a while and then you were like, yeah, I can't do this no more.
Andrea Shields Nunez:But now I mean, I wasn't really the money, to be honest. It wasn't really the money it was just, I mean, don't even want to say this, I'm in a recording conversation. Oh, we don't have to talk about it. No, it's just, it's a really, really difficult profession and I wasn't up to it. I'll just be honest. Like it was just really intense in a way that I was not prepared for and, and you know, in my experience, not focused on teaching, right.
Carmen Lezeth:But you were also working in LA Unified. Yeah, I was just here with you.
Andrea Shields Nunez:A lot of other things that were really important. So it was like I went to school and learned how to do all this stuff and then I can't do any of that. In fact, I'm, like, specifically required not to do the things I was taught to do. It was a hot mess.
Carmen Lezeth:Yeah, and I think that's you know. Another part of it, too, is that's disappointing, right, I mean, because you do love school. When you were becoming a teacher. I remember when you got your first classroom or whatever. I just remember I was at brand new school at the time, or whatever. Brand new school is not a school. Sorry, I don't want to confuse people. It's a company I worked at, that's a motion graphics company and branding company, whatever. But you were, you got your first classroom. You were so excited. And then I remember when you had to move on from that and how sad it was and I thought to myself, like see, even when you try to do something you're good at and that you love and whatever, it still doesn't work out, you know.
Andrea Shields Nunez:And yeah, that was hard, that was really. I was very depressed, very depressed. I moved away. Remember that's when I left, I was like fuck this, I'm leaving, god, god.
Carmen Lezeth:God. So what do you think is the most brilliant joyful thing? Okay, this is going to be a hard question, but that you have done since your 20s as far as, like you know, we know what we would tell ourselves or what we would do to make our 20s better. What do you think is the most brilliant lesson or thing or joyful thing about everything you have learned? Is that a weird question? It's probably not very percent.
Andrea Shields Nunez:Yeah, I mean obviously, you know, like the obvious question is like I have no kids, but that I mean and that is whatever. But I'm not going to say that.
Carmen Lezeth:I love your kids. They're my God children. Blah, blah, blah.
Andrea Shields Nunez:My kids are great and they bring me a lot of joy like, but not on a daily basis.
Carmen Lezeth:I'm sorry, I'm sorry, we love the kids. Okay, minus the kids, minus the kids, but no yeah minus the kids.
Andrea Shields Nunez:I would say like I have been really brave a lot of times and I just referenced it like moving away. I know, and I know you know, people in my life have mixed feelings about that, but I don't, I didn't say you, I just said people, your mother. I just remember like I moved to London after the whole teaching situation, right, and I just remember being there and walking the streets and feeling like literal joy. It was like I can't believe I did this. I am such a badass, I love it here. I just felt so filled up with myself. You know what I mean. It was just a really great feeling and you stayed. You stayed for how long? I stayed as long as I could. I ran out of money. I didn't have like a job job, so I don't know exactly how long, but you know. And then I came back and I moved away again To DC, right, which I did not have that same feeling about, but I still feel like why would you choose DC again?
Carmen Lezeth:I never understood that I got a job there, that's why I'm here and you gave me a job. I remember, I remember now.
Andrea Shields Nunez:Yeah, but I still had that sense of like courage and bravery in myself, like I'm gonna. You know, I can pick up and I can move at any time. And I still feel that way. My life is not arranged like that, but I could do it if I wanted to, if I really was like all right, you know, like I don't have any fear of doing something, and you've done it too. You know what I mean.
Carmen Lezeth:But yeah, I don't, I mean. I mean I wouldn't say for me it's bravery, though I think for you it is bravery. I think you I mean I know you well enough and I think for you it is brave. People confuse my ability to pick up and move, or like I moved out here or I moved to Vermont to go to college which is really a weird anomaly from where I grew up and or to travel or do whatever. But I'm very what's the word? I don't want to say conservative, because I'm not, but I'm. I prepare everything Like I'm.
Carmen Lezeth:It's not brave, people think it's brave, but I have put everything in place so that there's no way I could fail. So when I moved out to California I didn't know anybody but I had, you know, $800 in my pocket and a round-trick ticket home, if I like, if I needed to go back to stay in Vermont. It wasn't even home, but it was. You know the people I'd been living with in Vermont at the time and I had a few different places here that I could stay, that were kind of friends, of a friend couch, and then I found, like a, this person who's home needed to be house at one of those deals and that was great Cause then that's how I got my first job. But if any of that had failed, I would have just gone back home and it still would have seemed like a win for most people, but I wouldn't say for me it's brave. But then the next word out of people's mouths is oh yes, it was.
Carmen Lezeth:Everything you've done is brave, cause it goes back to everyone's perception you know, what would be brave right now would be for me to have enough money to keep doing this thing. I think this is brave right To try to create something that we don't have, so that people can find a place to have joy and to. It's not even about joy cause that just sounds crazy but I mean a place where people can come together and hang out for an hour once a week it would be great if we could do it twice a week or whatever and just have a place where you could just chit chat it's not an interview show, it's not a show that you know what I mean Kind of hanging out in the neighborhood, which is the concept of all about the joy, so that we can start having these connections again, so that we can start having these. I think that's what we're losing a lot of. Are these ability to have conversations with each other about real things you know and being, live, and seeing each other's faces and being able to cry with each other or laugh with each other, or you know.
Carmen Lezeth:And to me, the bravery things I've done are things that I'm trying to do on my, I think, writing my book and putting it out there. I think that was brave and I'm still not sure how I feel about it because it wasn't meant to be a book, but I would love to be able to write. I have two books I wanna write, all about the joy, which would be more about how to deal with these circumstances on a regular basis and how I walk through them with you know, kind of different chapters based on kind of the profit you know, the book, the profit, kind of that thing. Like I wanna do that. And I also wanna write the second book to Canella, which we already have the name for it. But when am I supposed to do that? Yeah, but I think see to me, those are me taking moments to try to be brave, learning how to edit audacity and learning how to edit movie clips, learning how to do something like. To me that's the brave stuff. But all the things that people confuse and try to make me out to be something more than what I am, all of that was so well orchestrated on my part. I give myself credit.
Carmen Lezeth:And it's different to do things based on survival. I mean, the reason why I moved to California is cause I knew there was no way I was gonna survive if I went back to JP, where I grew up in Boston. There was no way. You know what I mean. I always wanted to live in Hollywood anyway. But when you have to do things from survival, that's instinctual. So you prepare as best you can, you do what you gotta do. But you know, every time I try to leap and I just keep falling on my damn face. I think that's brave. I'm like can I get back up? Quite the tears away. I don't know. I didn't mean to squash what you were saying. I'm just saying for me, you know, see, I go to Europe, which I'm going, I'm actually going in. Well, I'm going to Scotland and Ireland in 2025 with Cynthia. You know that's gonna be all. That's not. That's me taking a trip. That's not me being brave.
Andrea Shields Nunez:Yeah, I just wing it. That's the way I've been, that's, you know, like even when we moved there, we didn't have a place to live, like it was just like all right, we're just gonna go and see what happens. You know me well enough. I am not. Oh, no, no, I would never try to wing it with you on a vacation.
Carmen Lezeth:I am not that person On anything. What else do I wing? I don't wing nothing. What do I wing?
Andrea Shields Nunez:Nothing, absolutely nothing.
Carmen Lezeth:Absolutely nothing. I am the most organized person. I got a schedule. I keep to it. It's a good thing, but it's also a bad thing. I mean that's, but people's perception is very different. I think that's what everyone, though.
Andrea Shields Nunez:Yeah, you can't. I mean, unless you're really like in someone's life, your perception is always gonna be off of what's really going on with them you know.
Carmen Lezeth:Yeah, but I think part of having a perception and then thinking that that's the real person is part of the problem we have with our society and social media. That's part of the problem. We put people up on a pedestal and then the minute they make a mistake they are the dirt, they are horrible, they're whatever you know. And then people like last night we were talking about Mr Rogers and I made the comment if Mr Rogers was alive today, we would have found a way to make him out to be a horrible human being somebody would have. And people are like, no, not Mr Rogers. I'm like no, they would have. And then people were like, yeah, they would have said he was a predator or he was a whatever they would have.
Carmen Lezeth:Because we're in this place in our society where we are so ugly ourselves with our own yuckiness and we don't know how to express, like me being on camera and telling everyone that I got denied a loan was not in the game plan. It wasn't. But a part of me feels like many people need to understand that there is actually a real person behind, whatever you think, the perceptions and I know I'm nobody, I'm just talking to a few people who go watch or listen to the show. But it is that kind of thing that we keep doing to people like Oprah, or because we're seeing them as actual human beings, right like they have flaws, does it mean she's a horrible human being? She's done a lot of good in the world, you know, but no, no one can let go of the two or three things that they've decided are the monumental thing that make Oprah who she is. And she has to be vile or whoever it is.
Carmen Lezeth:We can pick anybody. Yeah, I'm hanging my favorite. I don't think that man has done anything wrong. It's Somehow. There are people on the right who just keep vilifying him for just existing. You know I love Tom Hicks, so I'm just saying I love Oprah too, I. But yeah, so I don't know. I don't know how we can fix it all I know, as this little show Helps people, regular people, to hang out a little bit, and I kind of love that. Is that weird.
Andrea Shields Nunez:That's what we do, right? I mean, that's what we talked about is like this is just a. It's what happens if you bump into your neighbor on the stoop or in the hallway or whatever. You have a comfort like Probably, like you're saying, not so much anymore, but this is what you want it to be like, let's just talk, let's just chitchat. You know, I think I think it's.
Carmen Lezeth:I was saying yesterday too, like I had a little moment, a revelation. Revelation is that the word where I realized like, oh my god, people need the show so much. They need it's not just the show, it's the ability to come on and chat and Listen to happiness or ways to get through it. Like, yeah, I got denied alone today and I'm sad about it and I'm bummed and I don't know what I'm gonna do, but we're gonna figure it out, we're gonna move forward, anyway, you know, yeah, yeah. So what about the makeup tips, though, girl?
Andrea Shields Nunez:Here's what I tell my girls put down the tweezers.
Carmen Lezeth:Wait, what do you mean? Tweezers? Are they tweezing? No, they're not tweezing, that's.
Andrea Shields Nunez:That's because I'm freaking militant about it. You know all of the tweezing that happened in the 90s and now, like, the eyebrows are gone, these are drawn in, obviously, but you know. So, yeah, leave your brows alone. Whatever you do to your face in terms of like skincare, make sure you do to your neck, your chest, your hands, maybe even your shoulders. Shoulders, yeah those are my tips.
Carmen Lezeth:Yeah, well, this came about too because I was, I was bothered because I my eyebrows well, my eyebrows aren't really painted on, although I'm getting better at filling them in. So here's an interesting thing when I was in color guard and drum core Well, color guard mostly and dancing they tweezed my eyebrows because I had you in a brow, uh-huh, and they did it to do the makeup. And I I never, I never questioned, I didn't care, I didn't care about costumes, makeup, anything. I didn't care. I never quite, I just wanted to perform, that's it. I just assumed everybody else would take care of everything else. You know what I mean. And uh, but I think because of that, like I don't have really any eyebrows, and then I was asking you, like, how do you make your eyebrows look so good, like? And then you told me that you what you paint them on. What is it? Yeah, well, it's a pencil.
Andrea Shields Nunez:Pencil. I used to have really big, thick eyebrows, but in the 90s, as you know happened they just turned into a little line.
Carmen Lezeth:Oh, because everybody was doing just the one line.
Andrea Shields Nunez:Everyone was doing the line and I mean like I had really thick eyebrow you know too thick for sure, but you know what I mean. So like I did a little bit of tweezing and then 90s rolled around and tweezed them all out. So now I have to, like, fill them in every day. So that's why I told the girls I was like you will not tweeze your eyebrows. If you feel like you want to tweeze your eyebrows, I will actually take you somewhere to get your eyebrows done so that you don't mess them up.
Carmen Lezeth:Oh, I see what you're doing, okay, yeah, yeah, I just remember this and now I think they're too far apart. But it does, it won't grow in, it doesn't. It's not gonna grow in, like, and I think that's what you're telling them is not to do that, because you know, just leave them alone.
Andrea Shields Nunez:They're fine, they're there. You know. There's nothing wrong with them, yeah my.
Carmen Lezeth:My only thing with skincare Especially when I was younger, because people always would talk about my skin or whatever, and we had, first of all, a lot of it Is genetics. You know, like that's just part of it, number one and then number two. It's kind of this thing where you just need to moisturize on a regular basis and understand you can't use it all the time based on the seasons. You know what I mean. Like when winter comes and how you eat or how you drink changes. What you're doing to the inside of your body is what's gonna happen on your face and on your skin. I mean, that's the only piece of advice I've ever given everyone is just make sure you have different creams for different seasons, you know, and stop being worried about somebody else's skin situation, because it's a lot of it is genetics.
Andrea Shields Nunez:There's no. Most of it is genetics. You know, as long as you're doing the basics right, like washing your face and moisturizing and putting on sunscreen, the rest of it is out of your control, really.
Carmen Lezeth:Yeah, it is, and that doesn't mean you can't get help, like if you have acne or whatever. That's a whole different ballgame, but like this idea that somehow there's a magic here. It is. This is what I use all the time.
Andrea Shields Nunez:Well, the one that I love, like you see it on you know, wherever it's like you know, pick your favorite star, right, like Whoever, like Jennifer Aniston, loves this moisturizer, and it's like right a vino is her thing. Yeah Well, what like? What does that have to do with me? Like I don't know what's going on with her skin. Like I don't care if she loves it and halfway uses this cuticle oil and like you know, you know I'm not.
Andrea Shields Nunez:I'm just saying, like they always have like some celebrities name and, first of all, like, how do you know if they actually love it? Whatever, that's dumb. And then, like you know, she uses this to keep her skin to make so she doesn't have to use Botox or whatever, and it's like, oh, that's see, that's lying, though, that's a lie, you know. Whatever, whatever it is, though, it's like Whatever is happening with that person's skin has nothing to do with me, because my skin, my situation, what I eat, my genetics All of that are completely different. I think that's that's the kind of stuff.
Carmen Lezeth:Every time I see it, I just like people are that and buy it, and you know well that's marketing and advertising, I mean, and that's all the influences on tick tock, you know? Yeah, I think as good as that. You can learn about products that you might want to try, but don't believe that somebody is doing something and that's why their skin looks that way right celebrities, because they're doing all.
Carmen Lezeth:For sure. I mean for sure, and you know, yeah, most of us can't afford it. But I like I told people I do Botox and so like I can't afford it right now. So you could see I have the wrinkles over whatever. But I'll do Botox once in a while. But I just started doing that years ago. It wasn't like I've been doing it since I was 12. You know what I mean. And I do it mostly for this Right. That's where I get the Botox really, and you can see it's coming back, so you can always tell when I haven't. I don't go regularly, usually you go like every three months or because it's too expensive, but like I'll do it, especially like I'm gonna be traveling. So if I can afford to do it, you know I'm gonna do it. But you're talking about like 400 bucks. Yeah, that's my student loan payment, baby.
Andrea Shields Nunez:See, that's why I need it. Student loans are interfering with your Botox. It's a fair amount of Botox though.
Carmen Lezeth:I just don't want you all, because for me that's a little bit of the self-care and, if I can afford it, and it's a little thing that's gonna boost my spirits. Because, as much as I don't mind getting older, this crease that happens here all the time bothers me.
Andrea Shields Nunez:Yeah, we all have our things right. Like I haven't done you know I haven't done the Botox yet, but I just have had like laser treatments and stuff like that. You had laser, yeah, just basic. Like what do you mean? Like basic, I don't even know. Like just a regular, like IPL or whatever you know they, just I don't even know what the hell that?
Carmen Lezeth:wait, you mean lipo suction. No, god, no. You got a.
Andrea Shields Nunez:Surgery is a lipo suction like surgery. I don't, I'm not you never go happen, no. I'm not doing.
Carmen Lezeth:Okay, wait, what's? What's the laser?
Andrea Shields Nunez:lasers are just like do like a laser on your face and it's wait, you mean like a facial. Yeah, well, it's more, it's like extra right, it's. It's not a facial, it's like a facial treatment, right, but it's like Depending on the strength or whatever. I guess if you get one, really, you know, if you do like a really strong one, that costs a lot of money, like thousands of dollars, and your skin peels off and all of that kind of stuff. But if you just do like a basic, it just kind of like A flush, right, and that, depending on the type of laser it can, you can do like dark spots or wrinkles or whatever, but it's not, you know.
Andrea Shields Nunez:It's that like super strong.
Carmen Lezeth:You can take care of that. That's a dark spot, I don't. Maybe I don't know. Look at that's a dark spot, oh, but is that like a permanent dark spot? No, no, that's because I had a huge zit, okay, and and uh, yeah, I okay, all right, so I should do a. Is it very expensive, the laser thing?
Andrea Shields Nunez:I think the I have done it a few times and it's like under a thousand dollars.
Carmen Lezeth:Oh my god, that's not a facial that's?
Andrea Shields Nunez:I know that's what I'm saying. It's not a facial, it's a, it's a treatment. But, like you know, some people do it, like you said, like Botox or whatever, every couple of months or what. I've had it a couple of times.
Carmen Lezeth:I don't know. I think the laser is a much bigger deal. Sis, I don't know. No, I'm just kidding. I don't know about the laser. That's cool, you know? I mean, again, I'm just messing with you. I, I don't, um, I don't mind learning what people do, because that's how we learn things right. That's the whole thing about marketing and advertising. But what I don't like is what you're saying, is when people say the reason why I have this good skin is because 12 serum.
Carmen Lezeth:What kills me is when they say, um, they're like. First of all, I never put on anything like this. Is there any product that you put on where you're like? Or? Or they do this, no, okay. So right there, the whole Know what I'm saying. They do the acne and they're like it just helps with all the rig. I'm like bitch. Just Botox. Stop telling me that, this little serum a lot of water.
Andrea Shields Nunez:I drink a lot of water.
Carmen Lezeth:Every day.
Andrea Shields Nunez:I drink a lot of water. I chase my kids around right.
Carmen Lezeth:So let me tell everybody what this is. This is really good for your lips and this would really apply it On a regular basis and it gives you this really moisture, beautiful lip and I use it and I believe in it so much. And it is wait for it Vaseline. It's not even the name brand. It's like petroleum jelly from CVS. Oh my god.
Andrea Shields Nunez:I was all hyped you're gonna get a sponsorship. I don't think. I don't think CVS petroleum jelly is gonna give you a sponsorship and this, this little thing.
Carmen Lezeth:I have. I stole from, like Not Sephora, like a ultra. You know, it's the makeup jar, the little jars they use to put stuff in. I Sorry, I didn't mean to, and then I put the little Vaseline for my lips. I wouldn't take a sponsorship, though, for Something like that. I wouldn't, unless it's something I actually use.
Andrea Shields Nunez:Well, that's what I was saying, you're using it. I was like all right, here we go, sponsors, it's shiny, it's moisturizing.
Carmen Lezeth:Yeah, no, I don't know, but. But then I would be doing the same thing. See, I, I couldn't do that. I'm just being honest, I couldn't do it. I don't want to push it on people, but I could certainly, with no problem, promote some other stuff. We just have to have the right thing, stuff that I really believe in. Like I don't know joy. Yeah, I got denied the law. Clearly, we don't know how to bottle that, carmen, no, I do. Um, all right, well, we're at the hour mark. Thank you so much, andrea, for being here. I appreciate this is kind of a fun conversation, so good to see you. Good to see you too. So, um, yeah, we'll catch you next time. Everyone, thank you for stopping by and we'll catch you next time on All About the Joy. Bye, thanks for stopping by. All About the Joy. Be better and stay beautiful folks. Have a sweet day.