Have you ever sat at your desk, juggling the demands of work with the whispers of unfulfilled dreams? We've all been there, and in this heartfelt episode, we peel back the layers of finding joy in our careers, the courage to make life-changing decisions, and the hilarity that ensues when work-life balance tips sideways. We share our transformative journeys—reminding us that the quest for authenticity is both universal and full of unexpected turns, and like a Thoren Bradley on TikTok who lights up the entrepreneurial world from chopping wood to selling with his scented candles... is this something me, Rick and Cynthia can also do?
But life's not all about careers and aspirations; it's about the more profound moments too. We get up close with death care and the cultural poignancy with our guest Keith from the funeral industry. Meanwhile, Cynthia opens up about her fascination with forensic pathology and the stark realities of preparing for end-of-life responsibilities. Together, we uncover the thoughtful side of death care, and the love embedded in planning for the inevitable, delivering a conversation that's as enlightening as it is unexpectedly uplifting.
Wrapping up this episode, we tackle the sobering statistic that two-thirds of Americans leave their families in the lurch by not preparing a will or trust. It's a candid discussion on the importance of specifying our final wishes and a reminder that looking ahead can be an act of joy, a final gift to our loved ones. So join us on this journey that traverses from the daily grind to the eternal, and let's celebrate life, laughter, and the legacy we leave behind.
Thank you for stopping by. Please visit our website: All About The Joy and add, like and share. We'd appreciate that greatly. Also, if you want to find us anywhere on social media, please check out the link in bio page.
Music By Geovane Bruno, Moments, 3481
Editing by Team A-J
Host, Carmen Lezeth
DISCLAIMER: As always, please do your own research and understand that the opinions in this podcast and livestream are meant for entertainment purposes only. States and other areas may have different rules and regulations governing certain aspects discussed in this podcast. Nothing in our podcast or livestream is meant to be medical or legal advice. Please use common sense, and when in doubt, ask a professional for advice, assistance, help and guidance.
Have you ever sat at your desk, juggling the demands of work with the whispers of unfulfilled dreams? We've all been there, and in this heartfelt episode, we peel back the layers of finding joy in our careers, the courage to make life-changing decisions, and the hilarity that ensues when work-life balance tips sideways. We share our transformative journeys—reminding us that the quest for authenticity is both universal and full of unexpected turns, and like a Thoren Bradley on TikTok who lights up the entrepreneurial world from chopping wood to selling with his scented candles... is this something me, Rick and Cynthia can also do?
But life's not all about careers and aspirations; it's about the more profound moments too. We get up close with death care and the cultural poignancy with our guest Keith from the funeral industry. Meanwhile, Cynthia opens up about her fascination with forensic pathology and the stark realities of preparing for end-of-life responsibilities. Together, we uncover the thoughtful side of death care, and the love embedded in planning for the inevitable, delivering a conversation that's as enlightening as it is unexpectedly uplifting.
Wrapping up this episode, we tackle the sobering statistic that two-thirds of Americans leave their families in the lurch by not preparing a will or trust. It's a candid discussion on the importance of specifying our final wishes and a reminder that looking ahead can be an act of joy, a final gift to our loved ones. So join us on this journey that traverses from the daily grind to the eternal, and let's celebrate life, laughter, and the legacy we leave behind.
Thank you for stopping by. Please visit our website: All About The Joy and add, like and share. We'd appreciate that greatly. Also, if you want to find us anywhere on social media, please check out the link in bio page.
Music By Geovane Bruno, Moments, 3481
Editing by Team A-J
Host, Carmen Lezeth
DISCLAIMER: As always, please do your own research and understand that the opinions in this podcast and livestream are meant for entertainment purposes only. States and other areas may have different rules and regulations governing certain aspects discussed in this podcast. Nothing in our podcast or livestream is meant to be medical or legal advice. Please use common sense, and when in doubt, ask a professional for advice, assistance, help and guidance.
Hi everyone welcome to all about the joy. I can't believe you just did that. What do we call this?
Cynthia Lopez :I don't know.
Carmen Lezeth:It's not the logo, but it's something All about the joy. Yeah, that clip was kind of funny, right? I thought it was so good, oh my gosh. So how are you doing? What's going on with you?
Rick Costa:It's all right. It was crazy busy at work. I definitely did not finish everything I was supposed to do, but well, try to catch up tomorrow. What are you going to do? I'm only one person. I can do. When you do what I can do.
Carmen Lezeth:So when you say you haven't caught up with work yet, like, do you always finish at the end of the day everything you got to do?
Rick Costa:For the most part. Yeah, pretty much. Yeah, there's sometimes. Sometimes there's like little things I'm like, oh, that's not a rush of curate, but there was some things that I really should have tried to get done but I just couldn't. It was just too busy.
Carmen Lezeth:Okay. Are you the type of person, though, that if you don't get something done, then you kind of turn around and you're like stressed about it and you can't sleep and no, I try as soon as the. Rick's like. No, I also take naps during the day. Thank you, Carmen.
Rick Costa:Once the clock is 530, work don't exist. No more, like I don't think about it. I'm like on to the next thing I got to do. I ain't time to think about nothing, no more. Once in a blue moon, not gonna lie. Once in a blue moon I'll be like laying down getting ready to come. I'm going to sleep and I'm like oh shoot, I didn't do something. But that's rare, rare. I hear you. I just wanted to ask you to come.
Cynthia Lopez :Thank you. Have a good night, cynthia Hi.
Carmen Lezeth:Oh, I feel like a chicken with my head cut off. Hold on, oh, we got to get. So we both clearly just took a shower, so why are you just freshly washed, cynthia?
Cynthia Lopez :So from work I had to come home, drop off some stuff which is like a half hour away, pick up the baby, because the baby's gonna be here this weekend. Then we went to go get food. We finally got back probably about eight, 30. I was like I gotta run and get a shower. Yeah, gotta be on. Carmen's show that was your only thought process, right? I like kicked one out the room and everything. Okay, and that's how it should be.
Carmen Lezeth:Okay, no spouses allowed. So I was just finishing up with Rick asking him this question about does he after, like, if he has a day, like he had today, where he didn't finish all his work at 5.30, does it stress him out? Can he not sleep at night, or whatever? And he answered yeah, no.
Rick Costa:For the most part. But go ahead, rick. Yeah, so for the most part, yeah, I don't. Only once in a while I'm like I'll remember something I should have did and I was like, oh man, mario, tony, in the building.
Carmen Lezeth:Hi Mario, hi Tony, tony's in the building.
Cynthia Lopez :Tony, I sent you an email.
Carmen Lezeth:Oh, okay, are you gonna be going over to Ted's space, is that?
Cynthia Lopez :what's happening?
Rick Costa:Oh my gosh, not that funny.
Carmen Lezeth:Are you trying to? I'm just kidding, I'm just kidding. So I you know what. I actually had a great week at work, even though every place at work there's some drama going on. But I think I've come to this realization that I'm gonna do this for another year and I'm out. I came up with this the other day and I'm like oh, cynthia, tony just said laugh out loud and I responded Okay, okay, haven't checked the answer. Okay, we all wanna know. Okay, we're just gonna be like Cynthia and Tony got something going on, cause they communicate.
Cynthia Lopez :Oh.
Carmen Lezeth:God, secretly, I really came to this realization like I think it was last weekend. I woke up and I had finished an interview that I did and I was like you know what, as much as I hate editing you all know I hate editing whatever the process of doing the prep work, the conversation, the trying to figure it out I don't mind that as much as I do managing teams or trying to work with people in offices Everybody, just, it's just not what I've ever wanted to do. There's too many personalities you have to like deal with. Okay, here's the difference. When I'm on set with one of my clients or whatever, it's so much more fun, cause it's a creative environment and people are doing a job that is to an end goal and so they're like a team.
Carmen Lezeth:I feel like the people that I work with on a regular basis are miserable at their jobs. I mean not miserable at their jobs, but it's just there's no joy. I know it sounds like a bit cheesy and you know what I don't wanna do accounting and bookkeeping and financial stuff and for some reason I've got sucked back. I mean, I know the reason. I was talking to Billy, who's my brother from another mother, and I was like I don't know how I got myself back into this. I still. I'm so mad at myself. He's like bitch, you gotta pay the right huh.
Carmen Lezeth:That's how you got yourself into this. I was like you know, Okay, you're not wrong, you know what I mean. So, but I made the decision about a week ago and I came to terms with it this past week and like I'm doing this for another year and I'm done, you know, like I don't care what that means If I have to move in with this I'm like, hey, hey, but I'm gonna do this for another year and I'm out and I, okay, I'll say this part and then I wanna get to Cynthia and her work week.
Carmen Lezeth:I just I don't wanna waste this much time doing something I don't love. And if you spend time doing this all the time, this is what you become. You know what I mean, and I just don't think that's what we're supposed to be doing. No matter how good you are at your job, no matter how much you bring to the table, I just feel like there's something else that I'm supposed to be doing, and maybe it's more of this and maybe not, because this is a. You know, I played the lottery today too, so you know what I mean, but we'll see. But, cynthia, what about you? I know you love what you do, but-.
Cynthia Lopez :Okay, so I don't love what I do. I love some of the people I work with, but I feel the same way, like I feel like I'm at a point right now where I'm thinking the same thing, like I just wanna be here for a little bit longer. Once I come back from my vacation in June, if I haven't gone into grad school, then I'm looking for another job.
Carmen Lezeth:But Cynthia, so you are going to grad school though, right, I'm confusion, though.
Cynthia Lopez :Well, I haven't gotten accepted yet because I still have to do the GREs, which is like a SAT type of thing for grad school. So you know, depending on that, and if I get in, we'll determine in July whether I'm gonna start looking for another job or I'll be starting school in the fall.
Carmen Lezeth:Wait, but didn't you go to school and work at the same time before? Oh, but you don't wanna do that no more.
Cynthia Lopez :Yeah, but no, I don't wanna do that, no more. And grad school what I'm going for it's in class. You can't really do it online because you have to be with cadavers and you have to do all this other research and stuff.
Carmen Lezeth:Oh yeah, let's also tell everyone what you wanna be doing.
Cynthia Lopez :Forensic anthropology. Okay, dead bodies, that's all.
Carmen Lezeth:I heard right, Isn't that what everybody heard? I wanna work with dead bodies, right? That's all I heard.
Rick Costa:If that doesn't work, she could star on the next version of the show Bones.
Carmen Lezeth:Is that another version of the show Bones?
Cynthia Lopez :No, oh, I was like, we can create our own.
Carmen Lezeth:I'm having no. Yeah, I loved that show.
Rick Costa:I'll be the geeky guy just kidding. What do?
Carmen Lezeth:you mean the geeky guy, the one who actually a murderer? Yeah, the tech guy.
Rick Costa:Oh, I didn't see the one thing, was it really?
Cynthia Lopez :He actually becomes a murderer.
Rick Costa:This is a different version.
Carmen Lezeth:Yeah, you should watch the show. Spoiler alert. Actually, what I was gonna say was Ryan O'Neill played the father of Tempest. What's her name? Tempest Brennan, right, who's the? That's the character name of the show and she's the lead. What is she? Forensic blah, blah, blah. Anthropologist.
Cynthia Lopez :Anthropologist.
Carmen Lezeth:Cynthia wants to be, and he played the father and he just passed away in December, right, so may he rest sweet peace.
Cynthia Lopez :But yeah, I mean, my job has lately become very I can't say unbearable, because you do what you have to do Because, like you said, you got bills to pay. But I'm just starting to see a lot of favoritism happening and stuff like that. What do you mean? Well, I mean, do they not watch?
Carmen Lezeth:the show, everyone in your office? No, I'm just saying.
Cynthia Lopez :Honestly, I don't know.
Carmen Lezeth:I'm like be careful what you say. We're like huge okay.
Cynthia Lopez :I don't say any names, but apparently other people have been seeing it too, Really so and like passive, aggressive comments and I'm just like. So I keep to myself and just do my work and once I'm off at 4.30, 4.29 hits, I'm checked out.
Carmen Lezeth:You know, I made a mistake the other day. Accidentally I sent a document to the wrong person and it revealed information they shouldn't have known. And it was a mistake. I know I did it because I was trying to do too much. I was trying to because, I mean, just to give everyone a little flavor, I have different clients.
Carmen Lezeth:So like, let's say, monday morning I go see one client in the morning, then I have to drive across town, I see another client by one o'clock and then at one o'clock I'm in a meeting or whatever, and then I leave that client and I'll come back home, I'll eat dinner and then I'm reading emails for my Tuesday client. Right, it's kind of like when you have a small business. That kind of is what happens. And then and then you do the same system again and look at it, I'm not complaining because I have work and I get paid fairly well for what I do, you know.
Carmen Lezeth:But the other night I got home and I was trying to do this stuff and anyway I ended up sending the wrong document to the wrong person and that's not a mistake you ever wanna make. You can imagine the ramifications of what kind of document I might be talking about, but thankfully this person was pretty cool about it. I was like, yeah, don't worry about it, it's all good. But that's how I was like you know what? It's gotta stop, because I'm eating dinner and I'm trying to scan stuff and I'm like whoa, when did that happen?
Cynthia Lopez :Yeah, and it's so easy for it to happen because, of course, I work in the hospital, so you have to be very careful to put the wrong paperwork or document in someone else's chart. So we have someone who does some of our faxes online and stuff like that. She'll go and put them in the chart and it's been a couple of times that she's put the wrong document in someone's chart and you have to call medical records, you have to make sure they fix it and it's a big process. But it's like something like that can get into the wrong hands and you're giving someone's information and mistakes do happen, you know, but it happens when you're doing too much and like I emailed him today and I just, of course, I just apologized, but I couldn't sleep all night.
Carmen Lezeth:I couldn't sleep all night because I was like I can't believe I did that. It wasn't even that I was stressed at because I was like it's done, what am I gonna do? Like you only have 30 seconds in Google to retrieve your document and even then you don't know if you got it back. You know, and I didn't even do it fast enough and you had gone, but I felt so bad because it was such a stupid, careless mistake, because I'm tired and I don't love what I do. On the flip side, I'll be up at two in the morning editing that's podcast. I was gonna say stupid podcast.
Rick Costa:I'm sorry.
Carmen Lezeth:My podcast is not stupid, but like I'll be up at two in the morning, you know, on a Saturday night to be like trying to, and I'll be like I gotta get it together, whatever, and just hoping and listening to it for like the 19th time to make sure it's the best I can do. It's never perfect and I make mistakes, I'm sure, but you know, and I'll be fine with that. But I'm Tanya, I think, after all the, I've been doing this since 2000. Well, 1995 I got here, so let's say I really got into the rhythm of it in 1999. But yeah, let's say 2000,.
Carmen Lezeth:I've been doing this same kind of work and intermittently doing acting or whatever. I don't even have time for that, no more. You know what I mean what Acting? I wanna write my second book. I wanna you know what I mean I wanna do stuff and I'm like this is not smart what I'm doing. Somehow I got right back into it. So how do we take the steps for you guys to do? Well, you know what, rick, we didn't ask you Ultimately, what would you want to be doing?
Rick Costa:Honestly kind of what I do online. You know the whole ministry type of thing and helping people that way and sharing, you know, the knowledge that I have is a lot of people that are new to the faith and they don't know nothing.
Carmen Lezeth:But why don't you just scam people like other people do and make a lot of money? Why don't you just be like here's an ointment that will help you if you love the Lord. This is 59.95. And I'll be your actress. I can work on my acting skills. You can annoy me, I'll pay. I just want 10%, that's all. Okay. We'll get sick. We have balls. We can do some advertising for us with our beautiful artwork. Hey, I'm just so kidding, I'm going to get some magic. Go ahead, rick.
Rick Costa:I'm sorry. Yeah, I mean, that's what, like you know, like I sometimes say to people like people say, like how do you do this every day? You've been doing this for eight years, never missed a day. How do you do that? Like, isn't that a lot of work? And I'm like no, for me, I enjoy doing that, I like it. I get it's I don't want to say entertaining, but I do get joy out of doing it and it's an outlet for me and I can just be my goofy self with people and you know, just be me. I feel like I'm more me when I'm doing that. I think that's kind of a key thing. Like what do you feel like you more when you're doing?
Carmen Lezeth:whatever that is, that's interesting.
Cynthia Lopez :So can I ask you how come you never got into like the actual ministry, like into the actual should become a priest or a pastor, or how come you never got into that?
Rick Costa:I mean I was in church until my mom, the old mom dementia thing. So I was like Sundays, wednesdays, another day for choir practice and my church is an hour away. So I was a lot of gas money and I was very involved. I was very involved so, yeah, and people would, could, would accidentally, including the pastor himself say, pastor Rick, and I'm like that happens all the time. So that's why when I went to Paris school I started broadcasting. People started doing it there.
Carmen Lezeth:I'm like, okay, I used to call you pastor Rick, because I thought that I thought you were a pastor and then you were like I'm not a pastor, I'm like well, bitch, I'm calling you Rick.
Rick Costa:Then I was like I'm not a pastor, so many people kept.
Cynthia Lopez :Go online, I'm sure you could become a real man. Oh yeah, you definitely can pay for that.
Rick Costa:Yeah, but, like so many people, kept doing it and like I'm like, okay, you trying to tell me something Like what's going on. And then I was like you know what, whatever, if you want to do that, if that's how you view me, okay, that's what I'm like.
Carmen Lezeth:Yeah, I don't view you like that, no more. But you guys can call me pastor Carmen, I'd like that. Or goddess, you can call me goddess Carmen, that'll work.
Rick Costa:Your highness. How about your highness? Your highness works. Your majesty, your majesty all those things are.
Carmen Lezeth:or you could just say hey beautiful, hey beautiful queen, I'm good with that.
Rick Costa:Queen, queen is good.
Carmen Lezeth:So I mean, I think you and I have talked about this before, rick about, like how, the ways in which we can turn around and find a way for you to gather an income. I think the problem is and this is the same thing with me it's like I don't want to sell something like on TikTok. If you go on TikTok, every five minutes they tell you to become a creator person or whatever and join up and I'm like I have no interest whatsoever to do it that way. I'm not a salesperson and I don't want to sell somebody else's candle Like. You know who I'm talking about, right? What's the guy with the axe who's always building the wood? He's so hot. You know what I'm talking about. Look at Rick's like. No, I do not know. He's like there's a guy on I know most people who have TikTok know who I'm talking about and even the men will not tonight but there's a guy on TikTok who he cuts wood. That's his whole thing. He just and he's muscular and he always has his shirt off and he has all those tats. And just recently he started selling a candle and a spray to smell like the wood.
Carmen Lezeth:That I did not buy, Although I was tempted. But what was weird is he started it sold out really fast because you know everybody wanted it and it's supposed to smell like the woods or something. I mean, he's actually really cool guy. I forget his name, I know somebody's going to know it. But long story short. Then he said look at, the best thing about doing what I do is that now you can also, if you like the candle or whatever, you can buy it, and you can also sell it yourself and get a percentage. And I'm like so TikTok is doing that. So if I buy something from somebody else, like I bought that book, I could go in and do like a little advertising, put the link at the bottom and then you get a little revenue from selling that as well as they get it. Christ just said Rick is gathering riches in heaven. When you do what God's called you to do, it's enough, okay, I'm just saying he could have a little bit here too.
Carmen Lezeth:That's all I'm saying, I believe you, I'm just saying the Lord works in mysterious ways and I hope it's in a way that he can find more joy and wealth in that way. But I agree with you, but it's just not something I want to do, like I don't want to sell on TikTok or something sense. Yeah, cynthia's thinking about it. Cynthia's like let me see what I could say. Nah Well, how could you, cynthia, do what you have to do? So I mean, I've put this out there a few times with people about if anybody who works with dead stuff, dead people have a connection. My cousin, cynthia, is looking for a job in that area. So, okay, that's not the right way to say it, it's not dead stuff. Funeral homes no Morgue. Oh, oh, that sounds so wrong. You would work in a morgue.
Cynthia Lopez :Or crime scene. Let's put it that way. How about that crime?
Carmen Lezeth:scene Wait what?
Cynthia Lopez :do you mean a crime scene? You would go work with the police and do crime, just like, like.
Carmen Lezeth:NCIS Like, oh yeah, like Bones and NCIS, they go out into the thing. Yeah, I'm gonna do that too. It doesn't sit right with me, but if anybody out there knows of somebody who might have a connection in the whole death industry, please reach out, because Cynthia would like her foot in the door. It's just so wrong.
Rick Costa:You definitely have to be at the certain type of person to like doing that, because the majority of people probably are like ew, but some people are like no, it's fascinating, it's interesting to me, and that's them, that's cool.
Cynthia Lopez :It's funny because one of the doctors I work for she was asking me what I wanted to do and I'm telling her she's like no, that's so wrong.
Rick Costa:I'm like you deal with them alive, I don't deal with them when they're dead, they can't talk back to me, they can't yell at me Exactly.
Carmen Lezeth:I knew somebody. I mean, I didn't really know them, but I remember, way back in the day, they used to do makeup for the Like. You don't realize everything that's involved when somebody dies, but they do all the makeup. Oh yeah, the person who has passed away. And I was like just thinking like foundation, whatever, and and when you spoke to this person, this was like a friend of a friend. I remember this woman, tanya, was my friend and then she introduced me to this person and I was just like I'll never forget it, you know. I mean, I was like this is grossed out, you know like, but she said that it was harder because it's a different type of makeup and a different type of thing to make people look as natural as possible. I'm like, I believe you. I believe you.
Rick Costa:I like I remember my cousin. She died when she was like 34 and she had she died of cancer. You know, you know, when you get cancer, usually you like whether or way to nothing. You know so to like give us pictures and stuff, what does she look like when she was all the other? And then you know, you get to the place and you see her and you're like Wow. You of course you're sad because you know there's your dead relative, but at the same time you're like they did an amazing job. She looked so much better.
Rick Costa:Yeah and it's like with her it was, it was cool, it was nice. They made her look really, really nice. Her stepmother I said police, police, what happened, what happened? This is not good.
Carmen Lezeth:We're all taking words from Terry K. We gotta give love to that big talker man, because I'm always saying I'm confusion, now I can't like or I love this for us, and now Rick is like police I love it.
Rick Costa:Oh my god, why?
Carmen Lezeth:did she look horrible? She looked the worst.
Rick Costa:I was like I wasn't even sure if it was her. I was like, what did y'all do?
Carmen Lezeth:Yeah it was, wow, it wasn't a professional, then that wasn't a professional. Wow, this isn't the way I thought this Conversation Right. So the part of life is part of life? No, no, no, I look at I, I do want this for you because I know it's something you really want to do and I love that you want this. I don't know where you get it from. Is it the solving of the crime or is it really the dead body part?
Cynthia Lopez :No, I think it's more of of solving the crime and or solving like why they pass things like that.
Carmen Lezeth:Um, chris just said oh yeah, more two rary cosmetologists, very specialized occupation, yes, and I and I am Look at as much as I'm creeped out about it it's mostly because I don't want to ever be comfortable with losing people. I think, yeah, I think that's really what it is. You know, like you start reanalyzing All the people who've died in your life or whatever. Like the first thought in my head was like, oh my god, when my mom died, did they do that? You know, I didn't even see her. You know, I mean, like I started thinking those things. But, um, yeah, I mean no disrespect. I think it's a very I mean, as much as I make fun of Cynthia, it's not. I'm impressed. I don't understand where she gets it from and you've been saying this for years.
Carmen Lezeth:It's not like a new thing. This is what you've always wanted to do. I wanted to be a dancer, cynthia wanted to be a A. I still don't know what it is a working with dead person thing? We're just saying tomato, tomato. We all have different lives.
Cynthia Lopez :Chris. Chris said either way spiritual or creepy.
Carmen Lezeth:Right, right. So I mean you would work in a funeral home or a mortuary? What are other plate like cemeteries? No, no, you don't want to work in a hospital. I mean, yeah, why can't you get a connection through your work? I'm confused by this.
Cynthia Lopez :It's funny because I have asked around and not one single person that I know know someone who works in the mortuary.
Carmen Lezeth:How funny is that could you go down there, like you know, bring your lunch or whatever and be like hey.
Rick Costa:How you doing.
Cynthia Lopez :Lunch with you and these people later.
Carmen Lezeth:I'm thinking I'm thinking of ncis, like you know what I mean. Like gims comes down in the elevator. I know that's not, nor I don't know if you guys watch ncis, ncis, but it cracks me up because I'm pretty sure everybody doesn't come down to the mortuary and sit around and chit chat the dead body, like the other night I was watching it. There's like four dead bodies sitting there and they're all just chit chatting about you know the crime scene. That was weird, way too comfortable, like I know that's not what happens.
Carmen Lezeth:So your goals this year is to hey, keith, how are you? Happy thursday, welcome. So your idea, cynthia, right now is you're taking your gres one in april. In april, did that book send you help? It's helping. I have to take credit as much as possible because when you become very successful and famous and whatever, I want to make sure that you remember and everyone knows that it was all me buying you one little book. It's all I'm saying. Brian just said in high school I was in woodshop and I wanted to be a casket maker. Big money, really. Wow, hi brian, how you doing, how do y'all? Oh, wow, that's. You know what? I don't think we take into account all the jobs that are involved in death. Death, all about the joy, all about the joy. Hey, oh, that's ed. This is ed, who works at a funeral place came at the perfect time.
Carmen Lezeth:It's keith, though, right.
Rick Costa:Keith is the real name, yeah.
Carmen Lezeth:You know what? I've reached out to you too many times, ed, and you have not responded. This is my cousin, cynthia, who wants to be in the death industry. I don't know what to say yet. If you could please connect with her and help her. She's been wanting to do this for like 20 years and this is our, okay, keith, cynthia, cynthia, keith.
Carmen Lezeth:We know him as ed Ed, right, yeah, so hi, I always forget that his name is Keith. But yeah, it's so funny to have this conversation. So you take your GREs in april and if you pass, it's all because of me. If you fail, I had no do it. You know what I mean. Like, that's how that's gonna go. Hmm, can be yeah, what, what, what I can't we never thought that those cask is a very detailed like art pieces.
Carmen Lezeth:Yeah, they really are. That I do remember, unfortunately, because I've gone to too many funerals. But yeah, you take it for granted. You take it for granted what's involved in that whole entire process. Yeah, so if you pass the GREs, then you go into school in August.
Cynthia Lopez :Well, hopefully I have to send that in with my application. If I get accepted then I'll go into school in the fall.
Carmen Lezeth:OK, brian said I did a report about the mortuary business and learned a lot. In some parts of Africa, when the person has passed away, their coffin is their occupation.
Rick Costa:Oh, I don't think I understand.
Carmen Lezeth:So I think it's made into that right, Like they make the coffin in kind of design.
Rick Costa:It represents what they did in life the coffin that design.
Carmen Lezeth:See. That just made me more sad. I think Egyptians do that too. I want my coffin to be something other than like she did. Organizational management, please make kind of answer a performer, please. I don't care, please, please, what were you saying, cynthia? I'm sorry. What area is she currently? What mortuary school are you playing to attend? She's in Boston and I don't think she's going to mortuary school. Cynthia, why don't you talk to Keith?
Cynthia Lopez :So I'm applying to be a medical.
Carmen Lezeth:This is so weird. Ed, if you want to come up, you can come up. Rick, can you send him the link? I don't think I'm friends with him on Facebook.
Rick Costa:I probably am, I think.
Carmen Lezeth:He must be friends with one of us. Yeah, he got to be. If Ed would like to come up, that would be great, but you're not going to a mortuary school, you're going to For forensic anthropology, so hopefully I'll get into BU Medical OK.
Carmen Lezeth:Well, if he wants to come up, that's great. Either way, I will try to connect you again, because I've tried. That would be a great connection. And then, if you don't decide to go to school, for whatever reason because I know it's not as easy as like you pass a test, you go whatever you know it's all money to and blah, blah, blah, whatever You're trying to, just you're just going to try to change your job trajectory into the field that you want to go in, just getting your foot in the door, no matter what.
Cynthia Lopez :Yeah, yeah, just basically getting out where I am now getting out of there.
Carmen Lezeth:Yeah. So my whole plan is I'm going to win the lottery this weekend. It's just going to happen. You're going to put that out there. The energy I'm going on, my vacation is OK. I'm going to come back and I'll be like and I'm done. I'm going to do it. That's my plan. We'll see if it works this time. Oh, let me see. Brian said coffins are beautiful works of art. I have design. You have designs for your coffin. Wow, I can come up for a few minutes heading home. Oh great, were you able to send him the link? Oh, you can meet Ed. I didn't call him Ed, didn't we call him?
Rick Costa:We used to call him Ed, but his real name's Keith, so Brian thinks ahead. He got his coffin playing. Wow, I didn't think about that.
Cynthia Lopez :Little Brian, you have to share. We want to see it. Yeah Well, do we really want to see it?
Carmen Lezeth:No, we don't. I don't want to see people's coffins. I'm just getting comfortable with the idea of my cousin working in the death industry. Ok, that's not the right way to say that. What is the right way to say it? Not the death industry, that's not right. Forensic anthropology yeah, thingamajigie yeah, it's just forensics, forensics, forensics, right. Burial or cremation, cynthia, which one are you going to do?
Cynthia Lopez :Honestly, I haven't decided yet. I'm not sure, rick.
Rick Costa:I used to be burial, burial period, but now I'm like I don't know if I carry the weight, because I'm going to be here anymore. Do whatever you want.
Carmen Lezeth:I'm cremation. I'm just too claustrophobic to be in a coffin. That's your biggest sense. I know I'd rather be.
Cynthia Lopez :Oh my gosh, She'd rather be burned in a box.
Rick Costa:That reminds me of a Ricky Smiley skit he did where he played the old lady, because he always does that. And she said me and my husband want to come down, we want to look at caskets for when it's time for him to go, and we just want to know what we could do. First, we want to fit him for one. You want to climb in it. So he just want to make sure he's going to be comfortable. There's nothing, and you know, in case he gets hung, we want to put some little debbies in there and put a radio in there in case he gets bored. What are you doing.
Rick Costa:It was really funny.
Carmen Lezeth:Oh, I did not see this. Oh, my God.
Rick Costa:And he's talking to a real person at a funeral home, Like they don't know. It's a joke, oh my God.
Carmen Lezeth:That's a lame joke. You know what I'm like crying. It's moving in context.
Cynthia Lopez :Oh my God, See, I was just so think I was going to be buried, like with my mom. But then I'm like, even though this may sound horrible, I don't think I want to be buried anymore, because I feel like nobody would come visit me, because honestly and again it sounds bad I don't visit my mom, I don't visit my grandma.
Carmen Lezeth:Well, they're not really there, are they? They're not there.
Cynthia Lopez :Right, exactly, so you know, I think I might be cremated Well you know where I want my ashes spread right?
Carmen Lezeth:Yes, everybody who's come to California is part of the tour. No exact spot. It's so sad. You know. What's even worse is like my God, children are all like. Oh my God, we know. Poor Juliana, I think, was like every time we walk by it is like I got, since she was three, like it's overlooking the ocean. She'll leave you to fully have to be very careful because it's against the law to do it, which makes no sense to me. But whatever, you guys can just do it what they're going to do, make you pick it up. Hello, you mean so dark. What do you girls do for a living? Oh, I'm going to tell you in a second, but let me bring up. Let me bring him up. How are you?
Mr. Edward aka Keith Charles:I was the best day of my life. How are you?
Carmen Lezeth:I'm doing good. Cynthia meet Ed. Ed meets Cynthia. Thank you for coming up.
Mr. Edward aka Keith Charles:Hello, hello, hello. How are you guys? What's up?
Cynthia Lopez :Good how are you?
Carmen Lezeth:You know what? I never called you Ed, I called you Mr Edward.
Mr. Edward aka Keith Charles:Yeah either one. Hello Rick, how you doing brother Good, how are you? Oh, it was the best day of my life. Good seeing you. Hello, cynthia, nice to meet you.
Cynthia Lopez :Nice to meet you.
Carmen Lezeth:Can you tell her a little bit about what you do and share with everyone?
Mr. Edward aka Keith Charles:Well, I've been a death care professor for 35 years and I own a company that worked with funerals and cemeteries and crematories throughout the United States. I also do international shipping, where we ship bodies around the world, so you guys could connect and you could maybe give her some advice.
Carmen Lezeth:Would that be cool? I'd really appreciate that. I know you want it.
Mr. Edward aka Keith Charles:Oh yeah, but the difference is that she is going to be working in the hospital, which is outside of the funeral profession itself. But what happened is a lot of hospitals actually have their own places when people pass and we go and do removals from hospitals nursing home. So the advice I can give her, it depends on if she wants to work in the coroner's office in Boston or somewhere else. We have contacts there. We also have some funeral homes in Boston. If she wants to, when she goes through schooling that she may want to do a residency where she can go and do some work and work with some funeral directors. Already we can do some of those things to get her some exposure.
Mr. Edward aka Keith Charles:But while she's in school the school may also have those kind of co-ops. Also. Some of those schools have programs, like here in California, ucla have a program where people can go through and work with funeral homes and work with people that's doing that reconstructive surgery when people have accidents and stuff like that. So there's all different kind of things from in bombing, cremation, just depending on what people choose. But your path is not funeral homes, your path is medical right.
Cynthia Lopez :Yeah, so you go into school for forensic anthropology.
Mr. Edward aka Keith Charles:Okay, yeah, so that's the difference of the field. Most of our funeral embalmers and funeral directors are licensed embalmers and they actually work with the remains of people that passed away. They're not really doing forensics in reference to the law, so it's just being yeah, yeah, I still feel like this is a really good connection.
Carmen Lezeth:Yes, but how are you? I think, wait, it's death care. See, I wasn't saying the right word. I love how you just taught me that death care yeah.
Mr. Edward aka Keith Charles:Yeah, it's called the death care, it's called the death care profession. That's what it is. So when people pass away, we celebrate their life, we don't mourn their death. That's what death care is. And we help families have the talk of the lifetime, because a lot of people never sit down and have the conversation. So we deal with end of life matters because end of life matters. That's what we do every single day.
Carmen Lezeth:I love that. How are you doing? I know today is the best day of your life because you are the embodiment of positivity and joy, but how have you been doing? Since the last time we saw you, we've been doing great.
Mr. Edward aka Keith Charles:We have a new grandchild, Aliyah.
Cynthia Lopez :Love.
Mr. Edward aka Keith Charles:Aliyah Love, our daughter and her husband. February 5th, 9.15 pm at 8,. 8 pound, 11 ounces, 20 inches, brand new baby girl and the name is Aliyah.
Carmen Lezeth:What's her name? Aliyah Love.
Mr. Edward aka Keith Charles:Aliyah love. That's a good name.
Carmen Lezeth:That's a good name, okay.
Mr. Edward aka Keith Charles:So I love it, just like mother. Like like our other granddaughter, her name is Kiera Kiera Faye. She's number two in the United States in kit cars. She drives 60 miles an hour at eight years old, but she wants to be a formula one driver. That's probably. That's probably where. That's probably where most of my wife has decided to Invest her money. Wow.
Carmen Lezeth:Okay, so, at eight years old, racing cars and Wow, okay, that is amazing.
Mr. Edward aka Keith Charles:So it uh. Since that time, our son-in-law and our daughter also passed a California barbs and they just had their thing. And my son, who has been a mechanical engineer, actually works in the ports of Long Beach as a Logistic manager making sure that things are being taken. Her and his wife is also a Short what we call short haul. She hauls Different products here locally from all over Southern California all the way up to Fresno, sacramento and back all. It's all day trips. You can go for five hours one way and five hours back.
Carmen Lezeth:So, wow, so you are having the best life ever. Wow, I'm so happy for you.
Mr. Edward aka Keith Charles:Well it's. I credit my wife because she is the one who is the CEO of our family. I car to the chief encouragement officer. She gives us all together and she encourages all to be the best we can be, and I'm just happy that she chose me, that's all. I'm very proud of her.
Carmen Lezeth:Oh, that's beautiful. Hmm, wow, I'm just so glad we got to see you and that you came up, and I'm glad you got to meet Cynthia. I'll exchange you guys emails again so maybe you guys can connect if that's okay of course, but you said you're trying to contact me.
Mr. Edward aka Keith Charles:I don't know where you try to contact me at.
Carmen Lezeth:You have, yes, your emails. You know what? I also have your phone number, but I didn't bother you with your phone number. But I can give her your phone number. Yeah, is that okay?
Mr. Edward aka Keith Charles:Yeah, you should have that. Yeah, of course you should have texted me, though, because I think the email that I give on social media is Is my AOL account, so I don't check that often because you, you know, I Just go in here and I don't have that on my phone as noted.
Carmen Lezeth:Okay, I didn't want to be rude and and do the text thing, because the last time I asked if we could do the email. But I will, I will give her, I will exchange text messages with the two of you and I'm just I'm very grateful and I will owe you one.
Mr. Edward aka Keith Charles:Yeah, you know me if I have an opportunity to Give her access to certain things. Like I said, the school that she's probably. Are you going to Boston? What school you gonna be going to attend? Well, I'm applying to BU medical. Oh, be you, okay, boston University. Okay, so you should. Uh, yeah, the school will have a lot of programs. Make sure you get a hold of a counselor. Uh, just ask him if you could work within the hospitals. A lot of the hospital. Well, she works in the hospital right now, do you know the seated administrator?
Mr. Edward aka Keith Charles:the seated administrator because all hospitals have a decedent step.
Cynthia Lopez :I don't know.
Mr. Edward aka Keith Charles:Yes, so you should go. So you should go and introduce yourself to the decedent Administrator, and that person will have a lot of context, because they're the one who actually control the remains of when they go and how they're facilitated to the different mortuaries within Boston. Okay, so, and that that just gives you some more insight and also thought of your hospital. Has a social worker that work in the death care space?
Carmen Lezeth:Okay, I love that. See, that makes it better death care space. I knew I wasn't off. I kept calling it the death industry. That was wrong.
Mr. Edward aka Keith Charles:Death care yeah, we don't, we don't have any.
Carmen Lezeth:I had heard it from you before, but I wasn't. I wasn't making it. I heard it from someone. It might have to be you. Who else have I spoken to about the subject? Nobody.
Mr. Edward aka Keith Charles:Yeah, I think I'm the only one. I think I'm the only one you ever interviewed.
Carmen Lezeth:We should do another interview. I mean, it's kind of like we're doing it now, but I would love to do another formal interview with you, maybe on the in the private lounge. But we'll talk about that later. We'll talk about that later.
Mr. Edward aka Keith Charles:Yeah, yeah, definitely.
Carmen Lezeth:Right, but wasn't the thought process and I can be wrong, since it wasn't the thought process that you wanted to move into, at least being part of that. Even though they're two different industries, this would be closer. Yeah, being around. I don't know how to say it correctly. I'm not. I don't need to speak for you, go ahead that's care.
Mr. Edward aka Keith Charles:No, it's death care profession. It's okay, but but based on what you said, Cynthia, I just want to make sure you're going because you want to be a forensic Correct the scientists correct in death care. That's. That's a difference. Yeah, so we're we. When we do in the death care space, we're dealing more with just the embalming, one-line Adam dressing and casketing, which is completely different. Some of them are doing autopsy. Some of them do what we call reconstructive surgery. If people want to view their loved one after an accident and they went through a windshield or something like that, or they had a lot of glass in their face that can go and reconstruct it. There's all different kind of things. Burn victims who got burned and they still want to have a viewing. Those are the kind of things we do outside of Just.
Carmen Lezeth:The forensic partner has said forensics deals with more of the crime right, my god, this is so not how I thought this was gonna go. Oh, we cover all subjects. We have a question from somebody, from Wolfie well, it's Doug, but I call him Wolfie. Quite often, after loved ones death, there can be all kinds of family drama. I wonder, edward, what's the wildest thing you've seen in your industry?
Mr. Edward aka Keith Charles:Obviously, you know, family have a lot of dynamics, but we have a lot of famous people here in California. So the wildest thing is that John Wayne's Grave went unmarked for nine years because it was in probate that long.
Carmen Lezeth:Wow, I didn't know that. Where's he buried?
Mr. Edward aka Keith Charles:Pacific View Memorial Park in Newport Beach, California.
Mr. Edward aka Keith Charles:Yeah, wow Huh but that shows you that a lot of people unfortunately two out of every three American dies without a will or he trusts and they leave their family with a bill, not a will. So when you do that, you have a lot of people coming out of the will work. So it's very important that you get your trust or will together so that people know explicitly how you want things handled. At the same time, make sure you get all your arrangements done with the local funeral home or local cemetery or local crematory in advance. That means it's outside of your traditional insurance, because most people don't realize that traditional insurance was never designed to bury you. It was designed to replace the income of the person that passed away right.
Mr. Edward aka Keith Charles:But, but, but. People use it to lay their loved ones to rest, and then the surviving person does not have that money to maintain.
Carmen Lezeth:Right, right. I've also always said this because it's one of the reasons why I ended up in the situation. It is because there was no plan. Right, because no one expects to ever pass away, and that's what happened to my mom, and so I've always had a will. Even if you have no money or you don't own anything, I I review my will and everything Around my birthday in January, so I've always been a big proponent of that. Chris said God, even with the will, it takes so much time.
Mr. Edward aka Keith Charles:Yeah, that's the executive that's called so we have three different things. You have when death occurs, which we call the arrangement conference, that we have after care. That's the grief part. And then we have after reach, after reaches, the 17 things that must be done after death occurs 17 legal things to remove a decedent's name, or we call the honoree off of all legal procedures, that's for the executor or the next of kin. That's the part that's pretty not. I could take up to a year to get all that stuff.
Cynthia Lopez :Wow.
Carmen Lezeth:Yeah, yeah. Well, I mean even people like a wheat, the Franklin and Prince no, no, none of them had.
Mr. Edward aka Keith Charles:None of them had arrangements. But you know the difference. The sad part about it is most of them didn't have a will, even though they have publicists that could have done that. But, at the same time, most people, like you said, they're not thinking about the fact that one day they're gonna pass away and one thing that's happened to all of us we're gonna pass away.
Carmen Lezeth:Yes, we're all gonna. At some point People will be just said I'm getting ready to retire, turning 66 tomorrow, but before that my goal is to get my estate stuff all taken care of, including a will and setting powers of attorney exactly.
Mr. Edward aka Keith Charles:Good, but make sure whatever type of arranges he want, that he does not Eliminate that because you got to make sure you make. If you want to be cemetery arrangements or you want to be cremated or you want to have a service, make sure you do that because most people don't realize they will. Entrust is read after your lead to rest right not before.
Carmen Lezeth:Right, oh, that's so good information. That's right. We've talked about this before, but I forget how people don't know this stuff.
Mr. Edward aka Keith Charles:Yeah, it's unfamiliar. It's one of the most unfamiliar topics in America because most people, only in their lifetime, may make one or two arrangers or somebody. They either make it for themselves or someone else who passed, and most of the time they're making those arrangements is when someone has passed away in their doing in the middle of a crisis. In 99% of time, they don't remember most of the stuff because they're just trying to facilitate 72 hours of getting somebody that's right, and you're emotional, you're sad, you're it's.
Carmen Lezeth:It's so much harder to deal with things. Yeah.
Mr. Edward aka Keith Charles:We call it stranger danger. That's what we call it in the death care profession stranger danger.
Carmen Lezeth:You love this, this industry, huh.
Mr. Edward aka Keith Charles:Well, I love it because it's what I've done for 35 years. It's what I do to make a living. It's not who I am, so obviously it's just something I do to make a living. I retired from this someday, but I will not retire from life, that's right.
Carmen Lezeth:You just bring so much joy. You're just such a positive person and I've I mean, I've always known that when I first met you. I just think I love kind of the energy you know. I mean it's kind of what we try to do, it all about the joy. This is not the subject I thought we're gonna talk about, but I love it because it's still on a high note and happiness and joy and it's all like You're talking about something we should be doing. That has to do with something that makes us all very sad to think about and nobody Wants to talk about it and I'm feeling good about it, Like that's the energy you bring.
Mr. Edward aka Keith Charles:Is that the beauty of responsibility? I think responsibility should be joyful. It shouldn't be something negative. I think when people are responsible is what we supposed to be doing. I think people have a difficulty of looking at responsibilities and not realizing that when you make a choice for the better and it benefits you, it's a good thing. I don't think anybody should be disappointed when you make a good choice, that's all.
Carmen Lezeth:So good.
Rick Costa:Wow, would you say. This is fair to say that if you really love your loved ones, you will do everything you can to make sure this is all taken care of ahead of time so that when you do pass, all they got to do is just the grief part and not so much paperwork and stuff.
Mr. Edward aka Keith Charles:Correct, correct. My wife and I have already done it. We have Crips and stuff, but we don't want to leave this to our children or our grandchildren. It's not their responsibility. We do believe that every child should inherit something from their parents, but one thing a child should never inherit is the responsibility of laying their parents to rest.
Carmen Lezeth:And yet, most of the time, that's what ends up happening.
Mr. Edward aka Keith Charles:Yep. 67% of the time a child or the surviving spouse is laying the person to rest and they don't even know what the person wanted because they never had the talk of a lifetime Right.
Carmen Lezeth:God, I feel like I have to go look at my paperwork again. I just did it in January. I got to look at it again and just make sure.
Carmen Lezeth:But I just got insurance to go on my trip and I had to put a beneficiary, whatever, and it's just. It's all these things that you do. You know what I mean? And it's true, you have to be responsible and I didn't think about it that way and we're this kind of. I love this line that you said and I'm going to hack it, but you're going to have to tell me. You said being responsible is being what did you say positive? What did you say?
Mr. Edward aka Keith Charles:No, being responsible is the benefit. You choose to be responsible. There's nothing wrong with the benefit of choosing to do what's right. Yeah, you know I tend to think that people look at responsibility as a negative. That's right. No, responsibility is a good thing, you know. When you protect yourself, it's a really good thing Right. You know so most people today. They don't have that conversation, but I always tell them, being responsible, there's nothing wrong with it. We have enough air responsibility in the world already, we don't need anymore.
Carmen Lezeth:That's right.
Mr. Edward aka Keith Charles:Yeah.
Carmen Lezeth:Oh, all these good things. See, I always forget this stuff about you, right, right down.
Rick Costa:You got to write it down you got good quotes.
Carmen Lezeth:There's less than all of it, man, it's also good. So we're at the hour mark, so I'm going to. I'm going to.
Mr. Edward aka Keith Charles:uh, it went so fast, I stay a little longer. But Rick and Carmen and Cynthia, it's very nice meeting you and uh, carmen, you give her any information. I anything I could try to do. Uh, give you access when you get to school and you get accepted or whatever. I appreciate it. Uh, you know. Uh, yeah, no problem. Uh, just remember, uh, what you do to make a living is not who you are, but always bring integrity to the job.
Carmen Lezeth:Yes, Thank you so much. I appreciate you. Thank you so much.
Mr. Edward aka Keith Charles:Oh, no problem, I appreciate you, Rick brother.
Rick Costa:You too, you too.
Mr. Edward aka Keith Charles:Very good to see you, man, always, always, always. We're right now in a big fight, so continue fight Uh. No, I've just talked about the world.
Carmen Lezeth:Oh wait wait wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait wait wait, rick.
Cynthia Lopez :Rick understands when I say the spiritual war.
Carmen Lezeth:Hello the world, yeah, yeah.
Mr. Edward aka Keith Charles:A lot, of, a lot of, a lot of uh things happening right now, uh, especially all around the world. My wife and I have been traveling. Actually, we get ready to go to Sydney, australia, nice, and that's because that's because they just opened up the country after 36 months, so kind of great.
Carmen Lezeth:Um, everyone, thank you so much for joining. All about the join. We'll see you next week for sure. I'm so grateful that everyone stopped by. We'll definitely see you next week and, as always, thank you, bye, everyone.