What I Learned from My Friend Joy, on Navigating Life, and a New Take on Cruising

Ever wondered how a blind individual seamlessly integrates their unique perspective into everyday life? In our latest episode, we welcome Joy, a cherished AATJ member, who turns a simple question into an enlightening discussion on blindness and accessibility. Hear Joy's inspiring take on why she views certain oversights as compliments and how her stylish customization of different canes reflects her vibrant personality. She also shares her love for audio media formats, weaving them effortlessly into her daily routine.

But that's not all. We spotlight the remarkable efforts of James and Wendy Boehm, founders of the nonprofit YouCaneGive.org  committed to refurbishing and distributing canes to blind individuals worldwide. Uncover the challenges faced by the blind community in countries without robust disability laws, and learn how these canes are a lifeline for many. We also highlight their donation of over 450 solar-powered Bibles, addressing both spiritual and practical needs. And for a touch of humor, we share a light-hearted moment about website domain donation instructions that you won't want to miss. This episode offers a blend of heartfelt stories, critical insights, and a sprinkle of joy, making it a must-listen.

To watch the episode, check out:
https://youtu.be/_yqysGfby9Q

Thank you for stopping by. Please visit our website: All About The Joy and add, like and share. We'd appreciate that greatly. Also, if you want to find us anywhere on social media, please check out the link in bio page.

Music By Geovane Bruno, Moments, 3481
Editing by Team A-J
Host, Carmen Lezeth


DISCLAIMER: As always, please do your own research and understand that the opinions in this podcast and livestream are meant for entertainment purposes only. States and other areas may have different rules and regulations governing certain aspects discussed in this podcast. Nothing in our podcast or livestream is meant to be medical or legal advice. Please use common sense, and when in doubt, ask a professional for advice, assistance, help and guidance.

Transcript

Carmen Lezeth: 0:00

Hi everyone, welcome to All About the Joy, the private lounge. And with us is our friend and neighbor, our cool part of the crew, our namesake Joy.

Joy: 0:12

How you doing. Joy, I did really well tonight.

Carmen Lezeth: 0:16

So I know that a lot of people know your story. A lot of people have seen you on the show and if they haven't, they should, because you're on pretty much regularly now, at least once a month with Andrea and Cynthia and Tony, and of course, you're welcomed all the time because you're part of the crew there. But we wanted to have a conversation. You had reached out to me because you really wanted to talk about something that was dear to you and something that you're working on. But I first want to apologize to you, and I know you probably have no idea why I have to apologize to you and I'm going to do it on air and this is going to be in the podcast. You know I am always doing the show and I'm just talking, talking, talking. You know it's part of what I do.

Carmen Lezeth: 0:50

And the other day I don't know if it was the last time you were on or before we were trying to figure out why Cynthia couldn't see you. Right, she couldn't see you on her screen, and we kept saying can you see us, can you see us, whatever? And then I said, joy, can you see us? And you said yes, but everybody so when I'm editing, everybody else in the room is like their face is cringing, and I didn't even. I didn't think anything of it at all, didn't even think about the verbiage I used, and so I want to apologize to you and ask you what the appropriate thing is to do so, for people who don will share with us later why this is a big deal. But when I said to you, can you hear me? I mean, can you see me? Can you see everyone? Was that offensive to you or did it bother you, or Absolutely not.

Joy: 1:33

No, that's actually a little bit of a compliment because, yes, I'm blind. However, that's only a small part of my life. No, if somebody forgets that I'm blind, which a lot of my friends do, it's actually. I take that as a compliment, you know, because I don't want to just be known as oh Joy, that's the blind girl, you know Right, because there's so much more to me than just being blind or visually impaired.

Carmen Lezeth: 2:00

Right. I think that that was kind of one of the things that I really like about you is that you don't get uptight about people making a mistake or people. Just I mean I love that you're saying it's like a compliment. I don't think Cynthia knows, I don't think Mario knows. They might have an idea, but I don't think they fully know unless they were on the show with you and you explained it a few times. But I think that's what I like about you is. I mean, maybe if I were with you I would notice it more or not, I don't know, but at some point it must just become part of all of your friends and your family's lifestyle. It's not like the only thing about you, it's like me being Black and Latina. It's not the only thing about me, you know, but maybe I'm wrong about that.

Joy: 2:40

No, I think you're right. Yeah, because you know if we're out and about, I use my cane, so naturally. Well, a lot of alcohols say naturally, if they see the cane, they'll know. Oh okay, she's blind.

Carmen Lezeth: 2:53

Yeah, and there are some people who don't know what a white cane is Really, doesn't it sometimes have red at the end?

Joy: 3:00

Yes.

Carmen Lezeth: 3:00

It has some coloring.

Joy: 3:02

Yes, a lot of times, and I actually have two right here. This is a tiny we call this tiny tin because it's really small. This one actually can fold up oh what, six, seven inches, right, and it folds out to 52 inches. So, and this one, I do believe, has the red on it.

Carmen Lezeth: 3:21

It does, it does.

Joy: 3:23

Now, however, canes are changing. They are changing. I have canes that are different colors and also now this is the one that I use. This is my brand new cane.

Carmen Lezeth: 3:35

Okay, it has blue at the end it's actually, it's purple.

Joy: 3:39

it's like purple, but even the white part changes. You can customize them, or actually I use duct tape to customize some of my canes.

Carmen Lezeth: 3:51

Oh, why do you use duct tape? Is there a texture thing, or is it just?

Joy: 3:54

No, actually you can get duct tape in the craft department. That's just so many different patterns, so many colors, oh, OK.

Carmen Lezeth: 4:03

Yeah, ok, you're just feeling funky so you might use a different type of tape or whatever. Do you have many of them like? Is it stylistic thing? It must be like fashion statement, it is? That's awesome? Yeah, it should be. Well, I, I appreciate you. I would never intentionally do anything to hurt anyone. And I thought it was like because I do the editing afterwards and so I'm always watching, going back and replayinging and I'm like why are they doing that? Like I thought maybe I missed something in the chat you know what I mean, which often happens but then I realized they were shocked that I had said you know, can you see everyone Meaning? Are you comfortable hearing everyone? And I didn't even think anything of it. So, but anyways, thanks for clearing that up Now. Oh, go ahead. Were you going to say?

Joy: 4:40

something else. Yeah, I was just going to say this. You know, I say I watch TV, I read books, but you know I'll have the TV on but I'm listening or have audio description on and read a lot of books. So, and I'm totally reading but I'm actually listening to it. That's OK, right.

Carmen Lezeth: 4:57

Yeah, I mean I guess it would be hard to always have to conform to what, you know, main society is always doing, and the only thing that I can relate to in that is being a woman of color. But I think for you not that there's a right or wrong or better or worse, right Whenever, I mean, we all have issues we need to deal with. But I would think you know it makes me more aware of the things. I think I shared a story once where I had had my hip surgery and I had a cane for a while and I started noticing something I never noticed before how uneven the sidewalks are. I noticed how hard it was to get like fast across the street when they don't have the signals that, like, I just noticed these things I never noticed before because I had a small tiny, temporary, you know infringement and I thought to myself my goodness, we really as a society do not do our due justice to make this comfortable for everyone, you know, and so it was just an interesting thing.

Carmen Lezeth: 5:49

So, but thank you for allowing me to apologize and letting me know that it was okay and it actually gave you a compliment. I don't know what a blind person acts like, so I assume they act normal, just like me. So it was an interesting question that came to me, like you weren't supposed to say that and I'm like say what? I was so confused so, but, thank you, but what did you want to talk about? I'm so intrigued by this nonprofit that you brought to my attention. Why don't you tell us how you got into it and a little bit about it?

Joy: 6:15

Yeah, absolutely, the organization is called you Can Give. In 2015, my good friends James and Wendy Boehm created this organization. That's a nonprofit, and what they do is take old canes that people no longer need, or, if they're broken or in need of repair, they will take them, refurbish them, and so far it has gone out to over 33 different countries.

Carmen Lezeth: 6:47

Yes, that's amazing. Now do they give them to other people who can't maybe afford them, or do they just fix them for people? Okay?

Joy: 7:00

Now, how this works is because in other countries a white cane which would normally be $50 in the US, can cost up to $300 in another country. $300? And more? Yes, and if you're blind, chances are you're going to be poor. You just can't afford that.

Carmen Lezeth: 7:16

Okay, wait, wait, why? And again, this is me really not knowing enough about this entire part of our community and the world. I'll just say I don't know enough about the blind community. So why would blind people most likely, or more likely, be poor? I've never even thought about that.

Joy: 7:34

Yeah, because in other countries it's not like the US that has the ADA law and that's American with Disability Act.

Carmen Lezeth: 7:42

Right.

Joy: 7:43

Have that type of program. So a lot of this, and not only black people but people with disabilities Right, are pretty much passed aside. So they can't, you know, function, they can't travel independently, they a lot of times don't hold jobs, but, you know, a lot of times they are in an impoverished community.

Carmen Lezeth: 8:07

Right.

Joy: 8:08

So, and it is it's very difficult to climb out of that hole once you're there.

Carmen Lezeth: 8:13

Yeah, and I would assume also that in other countries and I'm just assuming you probably might know more about this, is third world countries especially wouldn't even have the right kind of things you need in order to travel easily or read easily or understand things easily. And then, on top of it, you can't purchase a cane very well, because you don't have a job, or I mean it just seems insane, wow.

Joy: 8:33

It is, it really is, and what they've done is they also have donated over 450 solar Bibles, which not only contains the Bible, but it actually contains instructions on how to use a webcam.

Carmen Lezeth: 8:47

What's a solar? Did you say solar Bible? Yes, I don't know what that means. I apologize.

Joy: 8:54

Okay, and what that is is just basically a little handheld device that is solar powered.

Carmen Lezeth: 9:01

Oh, and so it does audio. Yes, it does, oh, yes, wow, I learn. Yes, it does, oh, yes, wow, I learn something new every day. That's great.

Joy: 9:08

You know we can just like pop in a couple of AA batteries or whatever. But you know, in a country that is lacking, you know, basic necessities, you know they don't have that privilege. So they have the sun, so the solar bibles and players work best.

Carmen Lezeth: 9:28

Wow, that's fantastic. So they've donated. How many again? Of those of the solar Bibles that also contains instructions for the canes? Yes, that's over 450. Now, where do they get most of their funding, is it? I mean, is there any grants available to them, or are they just asking for the public? How do they do it? It's an incredible thing they're doing so yeah, a little bit of both.

Joy: 9:48

Right now we're trying to find a grant writer that would possibly donate their time and help write some grants so they can get more funding to you know be able to help more people, right?

Carmen Lezeth: 10:01

I think that's amazing. And do they have a website? Or do they have a GoF fund me page or anything like that?

Joy: 10:07

Yes, it's called. You can give dot org.

Carmen Lezeth: 10:10

You can give dot org.

Joy: 10:13

No, you can see, oh, I love it.

Carmen Lezeth: 10:16

We're going to keep this in, though, because that'll help clarify it. You say it again, you can.

Joy: 10:21

You can give dot org. Say it again you can, you can giveorg.

Carmen Lezeth: 10:25

Okay, so you Y-O-U, c-a-n-e give G-I-V-E dot O-R-G org. Yes, oh, that is fantastic, because I even how I say cane, it came across the other way. Right, it was. I was saying the other word, which we're not going to say, to mess it up. I will make sure to post that where people can go and give and donate and see if people you know there's a lot of grant writers out there that would love to do something like this. It's such a great thing to do, number one, but it's also a great thing to put on your resume. So I hope anyone and everyone who's listening on LinkedIn who really wants to help a great organization doing a great great thing, will turn around and just go to the website or reach out to me and I'll put you in touch with Joy and just you know, let's help other people. You know what I mean. Let's do something that can really change people's lives, because a cane does what for someone in the blind community. Joy, can you explain how a cane might work for?

Joy: 11:18

someone who doesn't know Absolutely.

Joy: 11:19

And let me just give you a little bit of my backstory along with it, absolutely. And let me just give you a little bit of my backstory. I know, in six years ago, seven years ago, I was trying to get more cane training and I kind of fell through the cracks. I was needing more training to more orientation and mobility. They call it O&M for short. I had never been properly trained, even though that I was using a cane, I was still not properly trained on how to safely cross the street, because we have to do it just slightly different, and so I actually searched high and low from one end of this country to the other, literally, and because I kind of fell through the cracks with vocational rehabilitation, I didn't qualify for O&M training because I didn't have a job at that time.

Carmen Lezeth: 12:13

Oh, my goodness Okay.

Joy: 12:14

So I was having trouble finding a job because I needed the O&M training.

Carmen Lezeth: 12:19

It's like a vicious circle.

Joy: 12:20

It was a vicious circle, and so I searched the web and found an organization called Guide Dogs for the Blind in San Francisco. I've heard of them, yes, black House for the Blind. So they joined together to do an intense when I say intense, it was an intense week of O&M training. So it was an intense week of O&M training and it was geared towards getting a guide dog, which at that time I was. That was my goal.

Carmen Lezeth: 12:50

Right.

Joy: 12:51

So I went to San Francisco first time on a plane. Oh, wow. First time traveling completely by myself. I got on a plane, flew to San Francisco.

Carmen Lezeth: 13:02

Wow.

Joy: 13:03

Yes, and for that week that I was in San Francisco. Oh my gosh, I don't know how many miles I logged, but it was a lot. I was all over San Francisco.

Carmen Lezeth: 13:14

And that's not an easy place to walk around in, by the way. It's not, it's not, it's not Okay.

Joy: 13:21

So I was able to. I had a wonderful trainer who taught me how to safely cross the street by listening to the way the traffic is flowing, how to cross safely even in very, very busy intersections, because I was kind of nervous to even cross a two lane street.

Carmen Lezeth: 13:43

Absolutely.

Joy: 13:44

By the end of that week I was crossing a seven lane highway Right.

Carmen Lezeth: 13:50

And all and all you really needed was to have someone show you how to use the cane. Yes, Wow.

Joy: 13:56

So, and that goes to show you what just a little bit of training can do for somebody's independence. Right training can do for somebody's independence, right. So if you know somebody who's never had a cane and, by the way, there are several trips that have people they've went to Kenya there's a group going to Colombia, I believe it's in October, to give the canes and do training.

Carmen Lezeth: 14:23

That's amazing. Oh, I love this organization already. This is amazing. Now can we back up for a moment? Just because I don't think, and I'm asking you because I want to know, but I think other people would be interested too. I know that you are not always blind. Right, it gradually happened to you. Is there a major difference between someone who was born blind in learning how to use a cane or maybe they've learned it earlier, hopefully as opposed to someone like yourself who lost their eyesight over time?

Joy: 14:51

You know, I think it is just simply because, as if someone's born blind, they've never known how to utilize that sense. You know, they utilize everything, everything else. But as someone like for me, who, from the age of 9 to 11, I went from perfect eyesight to legally blind wow, that was fast, yeah, and so I didn't actually start using a cane up until about 07, when I just go back to college and finish my degree, you know, and finish my degree, you know, and because my daughter was like mom, you're going to have to start using your pay. People think you're drunk. Oh no. And as someone who was older, it kind of took a little bit of a bite out of your pride, because, you know, it was almost like, oh God, everybody's going to know I'm blind. You know, it was almost like, oh God, everybody's going to know I'm blind, you know, and that took a little bit of independence away.

Joy: 15:56

But in reality, it actually gave me more independence by using my cane because I didn't run into things as much, I didn't fall down steps as much. So you know that part of it. You know it takes getting used to, but I mean, like anything, everything takes a little learning but it's actually going to need more independence, covid or something.

Carmen Lezeth: 16:21

And you were. You were at the I don't know how to say this right, but you were at the end part of losing your sight. And I remember you were most upset about Christmas and that's kind of. When I first met you, you were talking because you love Christmas, you love the decorating and and I mean I know you still do because you talked about it this past year. But I but I think you were starting to realize that you weren't going to see it the same as you were over all these years, you know. So are you completely blind now? Or is that an offensive question to even ask? And please share with me. It teaches me and everyone else listening.

Joy: 16:51

Oh, absolutely it is not offensive. You know I welcome questions. You know that's the only way people's going to learn is to ask questions Because you can sit and wonder and think, oh God, is that going to be offensive? Just asking questions because you can sit and wonder and think, oh God, is that going to be offensive? Just ask, you know, in a respectful manner.

Carmen Lezeth: 17:12

40 people are going to welcome those questions. So, no swearing. Be like yo, yo, yo, no, like being like a swear word and being angry about it. Right, just ask politely. But it's hard not to tiptoe, I have to tell you. You know, especially in this day and age, which has nothing to do with the blind community and everything to do with all of us being like am I saying the right word? Am I using the right pronoun? Can I say this person is this, you know, can I? Whatever? So it's not just you. I'm always tiptoeing. I got yelled at the other day, careful, because saying you guys is not appropriate, and I'm like, okay, I will do better. You know what I mean. Like I get annoyed but I do better. So, anyways, but you know, are you, are you at that point where you cannot see at all?

Joy: 17:56

No, I have what is called light perception, so I can tell the majority of the time you can stay light or dark, okay, and I just can't make out a lot of detail at all, or any detail Is it going to?

Carmen Lezeth: 18:10

get worse? Yes, it will. Wow, Are you okay with that? I mean probably not, but that was a dumb question. I'm sorry, as I said it, I'm like dumb question.

Joy: 18:23

Sorry.

Joy: 18:24

I wish I had my eyesight, you know, because there's some beautiful things in this world, but you kind of learn to accept it. And I'll tell you this I have, in different times, I've gone through all five stages of grief. Yeah so you know, and at times it does get a little frustrating. Yeah so you know, and at times it does get a little frustrating, you know, when I see something or try to try to do something that I actually need eyesight for. The traveling is like the worst, because I have to depend on other people, strangers that too.

Carmen Lezeth: 18:59

Yeah, oh, I missed what you said.

Joy: 19:00

I'm sorry I spoke over you and you said because you have to depend on who other people you know, because there's times I would like to go shopping or, you know, do whatever, and I have to wait for somebody to take me. You know so, and it does get a little frustrating, but you know there's know there's ways to work around things and you know technology is advancing in. You know ways that, oh my goodness, even 10 years ago, because I'm at my phone and Be my Eyes or Aira can either connect me to a live person that can help me. Who's Aira? Did you just say Aira can help me? Who's Aira? Did you just say Aira? Aira, yes, and that is an app, that is, you can pay for that, but it is more secure. The people on the other end are vetted. So if you need to, you know, show a little piece of personal item like a mail or a bill or whatever. That's confidential.

Carmen Lezeth: 19:57

Yeah, you know what? I think I volunteered once, or applied to volunteer, for an organization that wanted people to help in this type of thing, and for some reason I never ended up doing it. Probably I didn't vet well, I have no idea, but I remember I don't think it was called Ira, though, so I'll have to send it to you to see if you know what I'm talking about that would probably be my eyes. Yes, oh, is that a common one? Is that a common thing? Okay, okay, yeah.

Joy: 20:22

Now be my eyes is oh my goodness. They are so wonderful because now they have a AI feature that you can actually take a picture of something and it's really amazingly accurate, so yeah, yeah, I didn't end up doing it, though Like I wish I did.

Carmen Lezeth: 20:40

It was a good, but for some reason I didn't end up doing it, though Like I wish I did. It was a great organization, but for some reason I didn't pass something, because they do they vet you completely, and I think I had just gotten out of college or something and I was like I'll help volunteer. But that's what it was, that's right. Yeah, it's a great organization. I mean, is it a blast from the past for me? No, look, I always want to do something. A lot of us talk the talk, but we don't actually do things.

Carmen Lezeth: 21:09

And when I first came out here, I worked at the Boys and Girls Club because I thought I should give back to disadvantaged kids, like I was growing up, and I couldn't do it. It was too heart wrenching. Well, no, no, it was too heart wrenching to see, and it was emotional for me. It was so painful to see little kids who didn't have parents and little kids who were in foster homes, and and so I knew that was not the. I had to be far removed.

Carmen Lezeth: 21:29

I hadn't done the work I needed to do for myself in order to volunteer in that way, and I don't think I can, like I still don't volunteer for organizations like that because it's too close to me somehow. So that's why I was looking for other places and I ended up doing some volunteer work for the deaf, which was interesting, yeah. So I'm sorry, I didn't mean to throw that in there, but I didn't want people to think I'm a crazy woman. But yeah, well, what else do you do you want to share about? Not just you know your situation, but about this organization and what you're hoping to you. I know it's your friend, but are you doing other things with this organization, or what's the goal? I guess is what.

Joy: 22:01

My question is Right and the goal is to be able to send more canes around the world to help people. Yeah, jimmy also has. It's called Custom Cane and now that's integrated into his website so you can actually find Custom Cane on the youcangiveorg website. He actually will take and does custom canes. So there's so so many different designs, colors of canes that you can actually buy and the proceeds go back into you Can.

Carmen Lezeth: 22:37

Give. That's so wonderful. So, actors, people like myself who went through here's why I said actors, because as actors, we always want to have some of our own props when we go into auditions. So if you want to purchase something that you need, why not purchase it from a nonprofit or an organization who's doing good stuff? That's why I'm saying that in 2021.

Carmen Lezeth: 22:59

And you know, I still have my cane. It's not a custom cane or whatever, but why not get something fabulous? Like now? I have it as if I go out to an audition. You know, I keep it all, I keep everything. Actually, somebody borrowed it because they couldn't afford to buy one. They had a what do you call it? They had a brace on. So I said, don't? You know? I know it has to do height and stuff, but weight or whatever. But yeah, I kind of love that and I'm so glad that you're sharing it with us. What else can we do? We can go to the website. Are there other ways that we can help on a personal level? Can we donate money there? Not just right, not just canes. You want to donate some, even if it's like $5 or $5,000.

Joy: 23:37

Oh, absolutely, and when you go to to the website and that is youcangiveorg, that there is a donate button there. So, and because not everything that's needed to to refurbish a cane is donated, they actually have to purchase the. Let me see the tips. There are tips and these wear out by the way, they do wear out Right, and these are like spongy cords, those and all this and even like the difference of your cane. All of that has to be refurbished and redone if it's broken, and not all of that is is donated by different companies, so they actually have to purchase some of that equipment.

Carmen Lezeth: 24:24

Yeah, let me add a little bit. So I mean, a lot of people know this about me, but I worked for a nonprofit for over 20 years. I was the executive director of a nonprofit and what people don't understand about nonprofits is it's not just about refurbishing what they're trying to do or raising money to do the thing that they're doing as a nonprofit. There are also administrative costs and I don't know why nonprofits hide. I mean, I know why they hide away from this. You know what I mean. They hide away from it because they don't want people to think that they're all getting, you know, millions of dollars for the executive director or you know like they're spending money on new fancy computers or whatever right.

Carmen Lezeth: 24:55

There's this weird stigma that if you're a nonprofit, you can't actually, you know, be okay with a decent computer. It's an actual office and it's an actual work. And then they have to get all the canes together, they have to ship them out. They have people bring them out there Like all that costs money. All of that is administrative costs. So as much as I want to, you know, be like, yes, it's about the canes and we have to, but it's also about the people doing the work, and good people doing good work should also be able to have some money to pay for the shipping or whatever. So donate to a cause that matters to you, and if you want to check out nonprofits, you can.

Carmen Lezeth: 25:29

Nonprofits by law have to list their tax, their returns, their I forget what they're called, not 1099s those are for independent contractors but their 990s I'm sorry, that's what it is their 990s and it's their tax forms and how much money they're spending on A, b, c and D. But don't get it twisted Administrative costs are also part of running a nonprofit. So I just want people to know that, yes, they're going to refurbish the canes, but we want to help them because they're a good organization as well, trying to do the right thing and a good thing to help other people. That matters to me so much. Joy, it really does, because people get caught up in too much of the well, I don't know how much are they spending.

Carmen Lezeth: 26:08

$1 to the $5 I gave them. It gets a little crazy. I'm sorry, I just want to throw that in there. Let me ask you this question. You can add on afterwards, but is there something as individuals we talked about this last time on the show, as individuals, that we can do to be better people. To people who are blind, like what are some things that maybe are your pet peeves, or things that you do like or don't like that other people do?

Joy: 26:30

Oh goodness, we're going to be here for like three hours, right? Sorry, you know. Most people are very kind, however, and most people have good intentions. However, when someone comes up and grabs my arm and tries to leave me someplace, that's a little disturbing.

Carmen Lezeth: 26:47

Right, Because you don't know them right.

Joy: 26:49

Yeah, and you don't know where they're taking you.

Carmen Lezeth: 26:52

I'm sorry to laugh, but it's just so they mean well.

Joy: 26:58

And I'll give you just a quick little example. Last month I was actually in the Miami airport and I was in the restroom. I had walked up because I was going to go wash my hands because you really need to in the airport Just saying, like looking for the sinks, and I thought you know there was a counter there. So I thought, ok, is this the sink? Well, this little sweet lady just grabs my arm and leads me straight outside. I'm so sorry. Okay, I'm glad I have a lot of hands.

Carmen Lezeth: 27:35

Exactly, you know, she meant well. Right, she did mean well.

Joy: 27:39

She did mean well, yeah, yeah. So oh, go ahead, go ahead.

Carmen Lezeth: 27:42

I'm sorry, just little things like that, you know, and and if you think someone may need assistance, just always ask you know, yeah, and I kind of liked cause you had told me this story before and I kind of liked the idea of if somebody came up to me, some random person, and grabbed me by the elbow, I would turn around and punch them Like I would. My first reaction would be somebody's trying to. You know, and I'm sure this happens to people all the time in the blind community, so you're used to it and you understand, but it still must be very scary. It is, it is, yeah. So I think we have to think about that as people who are not blind, even though we may mean well, we need to ask people first. And do you mind that? I don't mean for you to talk for the entire blind community, but what is the appropriate way to maybe try to help someone if you think they need help? Most times you don't need help, but if you need help.

Joy: 28:34

You know, just. You know, say hi, do you need assistance with anything? You know, just be polite. You know it's as simple as is there a water fountain nearby. You know something very simple. But it's always nice and courteous to ask instead of just assuming. Yeah, because you know, I've known people who you know strangers has just grabbed them by the arm, let them across the street and they were like I didn't need to cross the street.

Carmen Lezeth: 29:04

I'm sorry that. I mean I shouldn't be laughing but it's. I know people mean well, but it is kind of funny when you tell it. Oh my goodness, and I'm trying, I'm trying to think have I ever done this? I tend to always. I kind of do the opposite. I tend to stay away and move out of the way. Especially, we have people in the community here who are in wheelchairs and I see people all the time go up to them and they're just sitting enjoying the view or whatever, and I've seen people get a little bit upset about that, you know cause. They're just trying to enjoy the day. But I've seen people go up and ask people and they're just like not frustrated out of being annoyed or whatever, but they've been asked probably 15 times and can't enjoy the scenery, you know. But I tend to just stay away. Maybe I shouldn't do that, but I don't bother people who I think are disabled in public. Is that wrong?

Joy: 29:46

No, I mean, you know, and that's the thing is like. You know, if you see someone that you really believe that needs assistance, you know I'm sure that they're going to welcome the help. Yeah, and not anyone. But you know, I know, and you know you may edit this out. But you know, I know, and you know he may edit this out, but I know, last month we were on a group cruise and this is this is kudos to Carnival. Right, it was apprehensive about going on Carnival, because you see all the crazy videos of everything going on, but Carnival celebration we were on celebration.

Joy: 30:19

The corporation did an amazing job of training the crew members. There was 67 blind people on this cruise. Wow, yeah, yeah, 67. So what they did all the crew members. They trained them very, very well. They had several meetings and the crew members there were several times that, because carnival celebration is a huge shit, it's very and crew members you know, if they saw us and you know we may, you know, look like we needed assistance they would ask, right, if we needed assistance and they would help us in the buffet or whatever. But you know, take us to wherever we needed to go.

Carmen Lezeth: 31:00

So look, I don't do cruises at all, but I'm really glad that Carnival did justice to people on that trip. I think one of the things I liked, because somebody asked a question about where do the? Because some people had dogs what do you call them? Guide dogs, guide dogs and someone asked where do they put their so that they could go to the bathroom or whatever? What did they do on the ship so that they could go to the bathroom?

Joy: 31:21

or whatever. What did they do on the ship? And I thought that was fascinating. Yes, yes, you know. And Carnival had the litter boxes because a lot of people had balconies, so they would put them on the balcony. And then there were different places on the ship that had the litter boxes. A lot of it was just kind of out of the way places where there wasn't a lot of people that would, you know, travel in that area. Right, they had the litter boxes where the dogs could go and relieve themselves.

Carmen Lezeth: 31:42

Hey, so I'm all for companies doing a really great job of helping people have a great time. And did you have a great time? And was this just a group? This was all a group of you that hang out or part of an organization or what was it.

Joy: 31:54

It was actually literally people from across the country and a couple of other countries. There was some people from Canada and I'm thinking there was somewhere else. Oh gosh, I can't remember now where the other one was from, but yeah, so there was like, literally came from even California, wow, okay, and so what it was? There was a group cruise in 2019 and it's called all paws on deck. Oh, that's so cool, okay, okay, so, and then they were going to do it like the following year, and then COVID hit.

Carmen Lezeth: 32:27

They didn't get to do it until this this year, and in 2026 we're going to do it again oh, that's fantastic, and is it affordable for most people, or is it a little bit on the high end or something? No, carnival is actually really affordable now, a lot bit on the high end or something.

Joy: 32:41

No, Carnival is actually really affordable. Now a lot of people, you know, may or may not have good jobs where we can just afford a crew, you know, all the time, but where we're doing it every other year, that gives people who want to go time to save up to go. Oh, that sounds fantastic and everybody's welcome, sighted or blind.

Carmen Lezeth: 33:02

All right, it would be this. Oh, you know what? I thought that was a separate organization going on, but that's not what happened. It was just a normal cruise and you all, from all over the world, you're not part of any group, you just all decided to go on this cruise. So did Carnival, or do these types of places say we accommodate, or do you just assume they accommodate you?

Joy: 33:23

Oh, now, this is where it's starting to come in Now, because they do sell out of the US. They do abide by the ADA guidelines and I'm actually in the process of researching other ships and other companies, because Royal Caribbean and Carnival now offer what is called sighted guides. They used to only offer interpreters for the deaf, now it is. They are offering sighted guides and which means if you're in a theater, they can let you know what's going on on stage or basically give you assistance. Even if, I believe it's even out in your port, they can help you around the port as well. Now, that's the thing.

Joy: 34:06

So many people well, I won't say so many people. There were a few people on the carnival and John Heald, who is the brand ambassador. They just was like just going on about the dog's going to smell. They didn't want the dogs on the ship, the dogs were not going to cruise and they just did not. And there was one lady who wanted a refund because the dogs were going to be on the ship. Wow, and he let them know that, because it is ADA and we do have the right to cruise, that guide dogs are acceptable.

Carmen Lezeth: 34:46

Support animals are not acceptable good, I'm so sick of the support dogs, I'm so sorry. No, no, that was terrible. I'm so sorry, I know. So I think some people abuse that though oh, absolutely.

Joy: 34:59

they abuse it, you know, and that's what is bad, because the people who abuse it makes it difficult for everybody who really needs it, who really needs it, right. But you know, and that's the thing is is, you know, my husband and I love the cruise so much we actually booked a back-to-back cruise. So you know we're going to do that and you know it's it's just we, you know, enjoy a vacation just like everybody else.

Carmen Lezeth: 35:25

Well, it seems you know, like people like that that turn around and, you know, demand this, demand that, and don't have the ability to be considerate and kind and understanding. And how is? How is somebody else enjoying a cruise affecting you? It's a big boat, I assume it's not like just you know, seven little cabins or something on a little rowboat. It's those huge ass, stupid cruise boats. I say stupid because I don't cruise, I don't get on boats, but I just, you know, just that entitlement, that weird, that weird thing, that only for me and not for anyone else. I hate that whole attitude. It's so strange. And those are usually the people that also can probably get their own private boat or something. Then don't do that, you know, just go rent your own private boat and leave everyone alone. It's so weird, it's so weird.

Joy: 36:13

Yeah, you know, only 37 guide dogs on board, but you know there were people complaining about oh, they saw fleas. Well, no, no shit. Because all of these dogs have to apply and get the vet visits from and all the requirements completed within that week before the cruise. And the guidelines have to be followed from other countries, not just the US, right, right. Those guidelines from like, for example, the Dominican Republic, required a whole slew of event visits and checkups before they were even able to get on board.

Carmen Lezeth: 36:54

Right. Well, people like that are generally not very well informed because they just want what they want. So they say what they want, you know. And even still, even if the dogs didn't have all these requirements or whatever, I still think it was sad for me to hear you just say a couple moments ago you said we have the right to cruise to. The fact that you'd even have to say that you know what I mean Is is just tells me a lot about who we are as a people we should be.

Carmen Lezeth: 37:18

I'm not saying all people, but you're not any different than anyone else. You know, and you do have a specialness, I'm going to say because I look at I don't know a lot of blind people, but I know you and you're just as normal and fun and happy and like there's, there's not. That's why I didn't know for so long that you were blind. When we were on HAPS I had no idea for like months, it didn't even dawn on me. Now I know I'm not physically in front of you, but that's not the point.

Carmen Lezeth: 37:47

You know, like the most people who have, look, I think we all have issues. Right, I was in therapy for so long because I was having, I had PTSD over this whole drama with my surgery, and we all have issues. Now, I'm not comparing my tiny little situation with yours, you, you understand what I'm trying to say, but we all have something in our lives that doesn't make us perfect, you know. So we should be kind and lovely and have consideration and just be better people, just be better, better people and, and the dog thing, that's just an excuse. That's an excuse for them to pull out of thin air.

Joy: 38:19

You know what I mean and that's what is just ridiculous it is, you know, and and not just with with our group. Last year there was an incident with virgin. There was a young man who was a paralimpian who decided to go on a solo cruise. He made his way onto the ship, made his way and found the bar, and they came and told him that he was not allowed to cruise alone.

Carmen Lezeth: 38:43

Wait a minute, wait, wait, wait, okay, wait. I think I missed something. Did you say an Olympian, a Paralympian? Right? You said an Olympian. So he's a. What do they say? I don't know why they, what is it called a para Olympian?

Joy: 38:53

It's the Olympics for the disabled people, right, but why do they call it para?

Carmen Lezeth: 38:59

I don't remember. It's not for paralyzed, is it? It can't be.

Joy: 39:03

Because there are different people who have different disabilities. Yeah, so, and now he was blind. But you know there are people who have and make no bones about it. These are athletes.

Carmen Lezeth: 39:16

No, no for sure.

Joy: 39:17

True athletes and just because they may have a disability or what people in society sees as a disability, amen, they are athletes first and foremost. I'm more familiar with the Special Olympics right, which is a different thing, but still Olympians, these are people who are athletes, doing what they need to do.

Carmen Lezeth: 39:28

But I'm more familiar with the Special Olympics, right, which is a different thing. But still, olympians, these are people who are athletes doing what they need to do. But I'm always confused by para, for some reason. I think, like I don't know. But I've watched the wheelchair races. I don't know what they're called, you know, when they're in the sleek, those sleek little, I don't know, they're very thin bikes, you know, they're always at the front of marathons, you know, I've run three marathons. So that's why and there was an Olympian there who started off one of the races, of one of the marathons I did. That's why I remember it right, he did a whole speech or whatever. But I've just never found out what para is. So I have to look that up. I hope it's not like paralyzed, because that would be. It can't be. It's got to be an acronym or something, because, honestly, I do not remember. Yeah, I don't know either. So we'll look that up, we'll look it up. But yeah, that. So they.

Carmen Lezeth: 40:15

So he was in the bar having a drink and and he wasn't acting belligerent or anything, right, he was just normally having a drink like everyone else, and they, just because they saw him what? In a wheelchair or walking in a cane. But but how would they know he's blind? Oh, because he has a cane, and they said he had to leave because he couldn't be by himself. Yes, yes, okay, forgive me, but logic-wise, how does that make sense? Why would they say you must leave on the boat and walk around the boat by yourself and go back to your cabin all alone, but you can't be in the bar by yourself?

Joy: 40:48

No, they actually made him get off the ship. Oh my God, yes, actually made him get off the ship. Oh my god, yes, they sure did. Now they put him up in a hotel the next day. Oh boy they, the higher-ups corporate, saw a lawsuit coming and they got him back on board and they actually hired him to do training and as part of the disability team oh, they hired him to help virgin.

Carmen Lezeth: 41:15

Was it virgin? Yes, virgin, have a disability. Have a disability team on their boats from now to the future, or?

Joy: 41:21

something and train. I'm assuming they train their staff now on people with disabilities and know that they you know they do have the right to cruise. I hate that saying.

Carmen Lezeth: 41:29

I mean I know what you're saying but the who would think you wouldn't have the right to cruise. I hate that saying. I mean, I know what you're saying, but the who would think you wouldn't have the right to cruise. You know like I don't. Yeah, I love such a weird do do, do you and people gonna be mad at me for asking this but do you ever feel an alliance or a familiarity with people of color like and the struggles that we go through? Do you kind of see some biases that happen because of your disability that equate? Yeah, again, I'm not equating the two, but I consistently see things that correlate in how I feel when people treat me a certain way because of something I have no control over. And even if I did, I'd still stay Black and Latino. But I'm just saying, you know, is that a weird question? I just feel like asking it.

Joy: 42:13

No, but you're right. You are right Because you know there's we get treated differently.

Carmen Lezeth: 42:21

Yeah.

Joy: 42:22

A lot of people don't understand that. You know, we're mothers, we're fathers, we're students, we're graduates, we have careers Doctors, doctors lawyers, I mean every.

Carmen Lezeth: 42:33

I'm sorry I need to entertain. There are so many people like having a disability is one thing, it doesn't mean you're incapable of being whatever you want to be. And I think there's a strength in it that we are getting to a place where I hope things are getting better and we're getting smarter about who we are. I mean, maybe it's a little bit too kumbaya or whatever, but seeing people for who they are instead of what you think they are, I would like to think we're moving forward in that way.

Joy: 43:01

I hope so. I know and I don't know. I doubt I had a part in this, but in my mind I would like to think I did, Because when my husband and I cruised the first time, I asked them about accessibility on rural Caribbean and they wouldn't in have an interpreter for the deaf. But I asked them what was the difference between a visual interpreter and interpreter for the deaf? And they didn't have an answer.

Carmen Lezeth: 43:30

Ooh, yeah.

Carmen Lezeth: 43:31

So, but now they didn't find that. Yeah, I'm sure you had a lot to do with that. Are you kidding me? Of course you did. I think when people don't speak up, things don't change, and then we keep complaining about it. And so when one person makes something known and questions it, and then somebody else comes in and questions, you know, like all of those things matter, you know, and unfortunately I wouldn't.

Carmen Lezeth: 43:58

I'm not going to sit and pretend like, oh my god, I know everything. I would not have thought of this at all. It's not in my world. I would have never been like oh yeah, we need to have someone to help the deaf on board. You know.

Carmen Lezeth: 44:07

Well, in all fairness to me, I don't cruise. I just want to say that again. But I, I don't cruise. I've never been on a boat.

Carmen Lezeth: 44:12

But I'm just saying in general, because I'm so consumed with just my life. If it's not an experience this is what we all do If it's not an experience to me, then I don't know about it. It doesn't mean I'm against the disabled or whatever. It's mean it's not in my world, and so I or not have someone guide them, or you know. Oh, okay, thank you. Now I know, and now I will do better.

Carmen Lezeth: 44:31

And if, if people are listening to this, or the people who are listening, you understand this is about everything that you know. People throw the word racism out and everyone shrills. It's the same concept If you don't know something, it's okay not to know it, but do not judge it, do not dismiss it, do not be angry about it because you think it's affecting you somehow. Yeah, your next question should say you know, should be how can I help or what can I do to be better about this? Right, and I really hope that this was at least I know it was informative to me, so that really is all that matters, that I learned a few things today. You know, in our little conversation. Is there anything else that you want to add about your friends organization? Again, can you say it one more time? I'm going to put it up on a banner and stuff when I edit, but can you just say it one more time.

Joy: 45:18

It's you cane giveorg.

Carmen Lezeth: 45:21

So the cane, it's C A N E is kind of little twist and kind of cool tweak to their website.

Joy: 45:27

Yes, Over these past few years that they have had this organization. They went to Africa, I think, three different times and they are getting ready to go again, I think, early next year. But please, you know, if you can, no amount of donation is too small. You know you can give as little as a dollar, five dollars, you know ten thousand dollars.

Carmen Lezeth: 45:56

Or as little as ten thousand dollars.

Carmen Lezeth: 46:10

Absolutely. But you know, it does help people that don't have the opportunity to purchase a cane by themselves because it is just not in their budget. So, yeah, and I think, look, here's the thing too. We always say we want to help. Everyone always says, oh my goodness, I would love to donate, I'd love to do some charity work. Here's your chance, because talking about wanting to help isn't the same feeling and love as doing it. And I'm going to say something right now.

Carmen Lezeth: 46:29

I am very selfish, and the reason why I love giving all the time is because it makes me feel good. It makes me feel like good because it's true, right, when we share, we do get something back, and I don't know why people forget that, like just because you're in. Sorry, all my friends who are very wealthy will understand where this is coming from Like, yes, it's a tax write-off, yes, it's a tax. That's not why we should do it. We should do it because we can, you know, and because it feels good. So I'm not trying to be mean, but I really would like people to just try and give a little something, and if you can give a lot of something, great. If it doesn't, you know, matter to you to give like 500 or a thousand bucks, do it and, like Joy said, like 10,000, if that's good too. But a dollar does help and a dollar feels good too.

Joy: 47:08

If that's all you got, that's fine, right, that's what you can share and if you don't have anything to give monetary wise, go to Facebook, go to Twitter or go to X, go to threads, go to Instagram and YouTube and just like and support the channel.

Carmen Lezeth: 47:25

Yeah, and I'm going to have clips up and we'll have their website up there too, and so you can also. Just you know you could share those clips or share their website where they're with website, where the clips will also have that on there. But just do your part, and here's the thing. The reason why I am so glad that Joy reached out to me is I loved the little bit that I learned about the organization when you asked me, and I think Joy is awesome and we love her on the show, we love having her and she's just really good people, and if she believes in it and supports it, so don't I. So I am so glad that we had this conversation. I'm so glad. Is there anything else we're missing or that you want to talk about?

Carmen Lezeth: 47:58

I think we pretty much covered it. Please donate and if you have any questions you can also go to allaboutthejoycom and you can contact the show and Joy there. I will make sure she gets any messages that may come to us and we really appreciate everyone listening Joy, thank you so much for sharing all of this with us today. I'm so glad you took the time. I appreciate you.

Joy: 48:18

Oh, thank you so much. I really do appreciate it, thank you.

Carmen Lezeth: 48:21

No problem, and everyone remember. It's always all about the joy. We'll see you next time. Bye, thanks for stopping by. All About the Joy. Be better and stay beautiful folks. Have a sweet day.