All About The Joy
All About The Joy is a weekly hang-out with friends in the neighborhood! We share insight, advice, funny-isms and we choose to always try and find the positive, the silver lining, the "light" in all of it. AATJ comes from the simple concept that at the end of the day we all want to have more JOY than not. So, this is a cool place to unwind, have a laugh and share some time with friends!
All About The Joy
Balancing Freelance Work and Men Parenting Tips
Have you ever wondered how a journey from full-time work to freelancing transforms not just a career but a family’s entire lifestyle? Hai shares his incredible transition while maintaining a passion for 3D animation and dabbling in multifamily property investments. As Tony, Rick, and Hi reflect on their work days we also examine how COVID-19 has reshaped remote work, blending humor and heartfelt experiences along the way...
What happens when you juggle multiple entrepreneurial ventures and freelance gigs? Tony opens up about navigating the precarious world of multi-level marketing and Hai talks of the elusive balance of "perma-lance" gigs, sparking laughter with a memorable interview mishap. We dive into the highs and lows of freelancing across various industries, from creative design and directing, to management, emphasizing the value of one's time and the constant challenge of staying current in a fast-evolving market.
Parenting in the digital age is no walk in the park. We exchange valuable strategies on managing children's screen time and fostering social skills, all while sharing personal anecdotes that underline the trials and triumphs of raising kids today. From tax strategies for freelancers to dealing with unsolicited sales calls and the nuances of ageism in the workplace, this episode is packed with insights and humor, making it a must-listen for anyone juggling multiple roles in life. Don't miss our candid chats and invaluable tips to keep your personal and professional life in sync!
Friends on this show: Hai Ho, Jimmy Matlosz, Tony Dandridge, Rick Costa
To view the unedited version:
https://youtube.com/live/HG-La-zU2ME
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Music By Geovane Bruno, Moments, 3481
Editing by Team A-J
Host, Carmen Lezeth
DISCLAIMER: As always, please do your own research and understand that the opinions in this podcast and livestream are meant for entertainment purposes only. States and other areas may have different rules and regulations governing certain aspects discussed in this podcast. Nothing in our podcast or livestream is meant to be medical or legal advice. Please use common sense, and when in doubt, ask a professional for advice, assistance, help and guidance.
Hey everyone, welcome to All About the Joy. I'm so sorry we're a few minutes late. Hi, this is Tony how you doing man, I'm good.
Carmen Lezeth:Usually we have Rick here who would do those introductions or at least remind me and send me a little note. I don't think they know each other. I always assume that everyone that works at Brand New School all know each other. So Tony, me and High know each other from back in the day, right In 2001 each other. So tony, me and hi know each other from back in the day, right in 2001, like a long time ago, and he used to work for the same company. I did. And what did you do again?
Hai Ho:because you know I don't care, I just know how much we paid you, that's all I did 3d animation at the time, I think around the 2003 or 4 is when I started there so hey's, up, rick.
Carmen Lezeth:Hey, Rick.
Rick Costa:Hey, what's up guys?
Carmen Lezeth:You guys know each other though. Yes, we have met.
Rick Costa:Yes, we have met.
Carmen Lezeth:Let me just, rick, say something, let me knock you down a bit.
Rick Costa:Am I too loud?
Carmen Lezeth:No, you're good, I just knocked you down here. Restream did another change. I don't know why.
Rick Costa:Yeah, I saw that today.
Carmen Lezeth:Oh, you saw it today with the circles.
Rick Costa:Yeah, I was like what is that? Why do I see myself over there? Why do I need to see?
Carmen Lezeth:it five times. I know we're just talking about behind the scenes stuff. Hi, I just wanted to find out how you were doing because it's been a minute since you've been in the hood with us.
Hai Ho:Yeah, it's been a while. It's been a while. When was the last?
Carmen Lezeth:time we talked. Yeah, I think it was, Was it last year or earlier this year. No, it was last year. He's right. It was last year Because he was right at the beginning when we were starting, Because we've been on now like a year and a few months now A couple months, I think. Wait, Rick, did you hear what he just mumbled? It was something Star Trek-y sounding like.
Tony D.:You were fine when it was just me and you talking and then, all of a sudden, you're like I just turned my microphone off. For you is that enough.
Carmen Lezeth:I just need you. You need to project, as you were before, when we were. You know what it is Camera comes on and smooth, groovy Tony comes on or something. I think that's what happens you don't see this, though you were talking to me what?
Rick Costa:You know what's cool that they did Restream did something really cool. Before I came on, I could see you guys already. I could see you in the video, even though I wasn't on yet. I was like, oh, that's cool, I could see who's here already.
Carmen Lezeth:I should be careful not picking my nose or something.
Rick Costa:Yeah, I couldn't hear you, but I could see you. Yeah, don't pick your nose.
Carmen Lezeth:I would never do that. So, you could see us like talking and gesturing, yeah.
Rick Costa:I could see you. Yeah, I was like, oh, that's cool, I could see. I saw that. I was like, oh cool, Hi is already here, yay.
Carmen Lezeth:But can anyone log on then? From there they find the Whoever is coming on as a guest.
Rick Costa:Oh, hello, yes, yay Woo yes.
Carmen Lezeth:Okay, so now we're going to get back to hyper. So for people who don't know high, what is with?
Rick Costa:Tony, tony is cracking up.
Carmen Lezeth:Why is Tony cracking up? She was like yes, there's a God. Hey, you know what the problem is here is you do not appreciate the art of editing and I am a newbie. I'm not even anywhere near what real editors do, but for the past year I have been doing this and my allegiance and love of and respect for editors has tripled, because just doing this podcast, it takes me to do one hour of our recording. It takes me like four hours. So I'm just saying, okay, lay off.
Tony D.:Thanks for the headphones.
Carmen Lezeth:Appreciate it, no problem oh my God, okay, hi, what have you been doing for the past year? I miss you.
Hai Ho:Miss you too. Miss you guys. Let's see, I think the last time we talked was around the same time, I think maybe june or may of last year. I believe it was about a year. I think a lot has changed since then. The last time we talked, we talked a little bit about ai right and that was a big thing that popped up. And then for me personally I was doing still animating, but also getting into multi-families properties yeah, you got a good memory.
Hai Ho:Yeah, so I'm still doing that, doing the multifamily, but last year around October I left the company that I was at for a long time. I was there for almost 11 years.
Hai Ho:I left in October and November would have been my 11th year. So I left that company and I started freelancing again. You did, yeah, I started freelancing again. You did, yeah, I started freelancing again. Just getting away from full-time to doing freelance freaked out my wife a little bit. I'm used to it, but she's not used to it. It's definitely different in Houston compared to LA. But I did continue to freelance and then just look for full-time work, whatnot, but then also do the multifamily stuff.
Carmen Lezeth:How's that going? The multifamily it's good.
Hai Ho:It's good. The environment for the multifamily, for apartment complexes and stuff is great.
Hai Ho:The commercial side is the one that has been hit a little bit harder because of what happened to COVID. Everybody's been working at home and no one wants to really want to go into the office. So big companies, they have the money. But like more smaller companies that that do rent, like middle size or small size buildings, they're really not renewing their leases, right. So those people who are holding those commercial buildings are not making money. That's the only downfall for that, but other than that that's pretty much oh good and bad thing about me leaving the company. I have more time to spend with my kids.
Hai Ho:So, dropping them off at school, picking them up to see them. It's been great they're in summer school now. They have a week left and then they'll be out until August, but yeah, it's been fun hanging out with them.
Tony D.:You actually just broke down one of the things I emphasize about the benefits of telework. Being able to be there as a family man yeah, I actually thank you for actually acknowledging it and it working for you in one aspect. That's one of the biggest pushes I've always been as far as supporting telework and families can benefit from it so much. It does matter and, as a father, you acknowledging that you enjoy it and it helps and it actually keeps everybody close. It helps the moms out as well. You know what I'm saying For sure yeah.
Tony D.:Absolutely Big ups for that Big ups for that.
Hai Ho:Thank you, yeah, and I've been enjoying it, and they love it too, of course.
Jimmy Matlosz :They, they love it too.
Hai Ho:They're like, of course, yeah, they're like. We hope you get a job soon, dad. Let's go to the park.
Carmen Lezeth:Let's go swimming. See, they have the right perspective right. Like they're just so innocent about the whole thing. They're like, yeah, great, yeah, we pray for you, dad, but let's go play. I love that. How old are they?
Hai Ho:Six, and then one is about to be five, so they're like a year and a half old.
Carmen Lezeth:That's a great age. That's awesome.
Tony D.:They ain't getting no sleep.
Carmen Lezeth:So are you feeling more comfortable or I should say, you and your wife, are you feeling more comfortable about the decision you made, even though, look, I'm an independent contractor too and it has its ebbs and flows? Right now, everyone knows I'm an independent contractor too and it has its ebbs and flows. You have, right now, everyone knows I'm completely overloaded because I have too many clients, but then there'll be days, there'll be months where I'll have one client and I'm like pasting together with my savings or whatever, because it just ebbs and flows. And right now the industry, at least here in LA, the Hollywood industry in general, is really having a tough time work-wise because of the strikes and just the changing of Hollywood as an industry and how we watch movies. So you guys all know what's happening.
Carmen Lezeth:So there's a lot of issues with work here and I know right now I'm doing well and I'm grateful for it, but I know it could be four months. I'm gauging because I know how this goes. I've been doing well and I'm grateful for it, but I know like it could be four months. I'm gauging because I know how this goes. I've been doing it since I left brand new school in what? 2000. When did I leave I don't even know 2008 or nine something, and I've been doing this same job, independent, doing all these different freelance type of things, and I know I can feel it. So I know, four months from now, I'm going to probably be online every day doing all about the joy. I'm going to be like home all day. But how are you guys handling it?
Hai Ho:Like you said, there's the ups and downs and we just take it one day at a time. Like I said, we spend a lot of time hanging out with the kiddos and stuff like that and try to fill the time with that and then just go with it and then, of course, course, like you, I pick up tons of clients and some of them are work out.
Carmen Lezeth:some of them don't, so that's just the way it is. Yeah, the ones who don't tend to not have money, those are the ones that usually don't work out right. Pretty much they're like look, I know that your rate is 200 bucks an hour, but how about if you do it for 25? Yeah, sorry, although if I'm desperate enough, I'm like you know what, absolutely, if the rent's due and I'm out and it's been four months, I'm like, willing to negotiate.
Hai Ho:Yeah, yeah, so just freelancing and then trying to just educate my wife and let her know how it goes with just freelancing.
Carmen Lezeth:But other than that, everything's great. She doesn't know. She knows. You were at brand new school as a freelancer, weren't you?
Hai Ho:I was, but I didn't meet her until after I moved back, yeah, after, so she doesn't? She's always been corporate, so wait, is she still?
Carmen Lezeth:is she working full-time?
Hai Ho:yeah, full-time, but she gets to work from home.
Carmen Lezeth:Oh, that's great oh, so you're also. Oh, that's a nice family thing, that's cool, yeah, yeah. So, tony and Rick, do you guys, have you guys ever done freelance? You must have at some point, right? No, not really, would you ever be interested.
Tony D.:Maybe Economically I couldn't afford it. Probably I know when I've tried to do entrepreneurial businesses or try to work any of the multi-level schemes when you had you were your own boss. It costs a lot just to get started. Then you also have to maintain your clientele. I've tried it three times and it didn't work for me. That's why I keep the job and just stay there. I'm actually out there.
Tony D.:I understand people have to go through just to start their own business, to get it up and going. You have to maintain clientele was the biggest thing I always remembered. You have to be reliable, dependable, 24 seven, any given moment, for any and everything, and that's a lot of pressure if you can't afford it Not that people won't do it, it's about being able to afford, be there and deliver and the times that I did it when I thought I could and I saw how much it was going to take. People will pay you for your time, but you'll never profit. You'll be compensated for your efforts and then after a while they'll move on because you're not producing. So what I did learn from that was just, if this doesn't work, get a job and just stay there, and that's one of the reasons why I just maintain my work and even when I was working I would check something out here or try it out, because I'm always getting offers.
Tony D.:I've known plenty of Amway folks. I knew Victor Marketing folks. I've tried the things that are online like FireFan and things like that. I've done quite a few things but they didn't work in having a job. It didn't maintain the career. It's worked out for me economically, just being honest.
Carmen Lezeth:Yeah, no, I think it's also very industry specific as well. I think what you were trying in the work that you do or you were like being a consultant or something, or no, it was like I said Amway, I got brought into.
Carmen Lezeth:Oh yeah, those types of things. Okay, and listen, those people were supportive. They really were a product that belongs to a company, so what. I'm not speaking for high, but people in our industry that tend to do creative stuff, right like Branding School wasn't big at all, it still isn't, but we were a boutique agency and we needed his services, so we would go after him because he was so talented in what he did and it was a creative thing. You know, and hi, you were a freelancer, but you were there all the time.
Hai Ho:Yeah, they call it permalance, we called it permalance, permalance. I like that. Yeah, permalance.
Tony D.:I like that.
Carmen Lezeth:There was never a reason why he would not work with us, because I think what you're talking about is you're selling other people's product. It's not your talent?
Tony D.:Yes, and I'll go with the broadcasting I do. That might be the most freelance that I've ever done, based on what you're asking, yeah.
Carmen Lezeth:Yeah, to be the most freelance that I've ever done based on what you're asking. Yeah, yeah, and I still think if you did your show consistently and okay, we're not going to talk about it, I'm just saying, no, you've got the personality, you've got the smile. You're so good interviewing people, except when you let their boobies come out, I don't know.
Jimmy Matlosz :I know.
Hai Ho:I'll talk about that later.
Tony D.:I'll tell you about that later. There was a lot of nonsense around that. For God's sake, Did you get?
Hai Ho:uptick in subscribers after that happened.
Carmen Lezeth:We got a lot more subscribers, yeah, a lot of people watched that video.
Rick Costa:Check my YouTube page.
Carmen Lezeth:I'm just saying I think on that you would be brilliant. I'm not going to mess with you.
Tony D.:I'm not going to mess with you. I'm not going to mess with you. I appreciate it. You are going to mess with me.
Carmen Lezeth:No, no, I'm just saying I think you would. Anyway, we've already talked about it a million times, but you're absolutely right. If you did freelance or whatever, you started your own business and did something that is something you love, like this, and you're so good at it, that would be the way I think that you would probably thrive as an entrepreneur.
Tony D.:I think, and personally, when I was trying to do it, I was telling people, if I was a retired, this would be what I want to do. Yeah, that's what I was putting so much into it and, like I said, it's about maintaining and, like I said, I'm putting more into it than I'm getting out of it honestly, but I do enjoy it, so it doesn't bother me.
Carmen Lezeth:But that's what you do at the beginning when you're freelancing, like you said earlier, you have to buy a lot of equipment, have your stuff whatever. You put a lot into your own business, hoping that the return will be not just to balance you out and even you out. But that would be great at this point for me.
Tony D.:At this point, you're ready to profit.
Carmen Lezeth:You know what I mean. But you see what I'm saying, right, like that's what you do.
Rick Costa:Yeah, and Rick, you think eventually you'd ever want to try to freelance, or I've always worked for the man, so you know what I'm going to do.
Carmen Lezeth:Hold on one second. You guys talk amongst yourselves. I have to go tell my neighbors to get away from my front door. We just do, they're so loud we don't even hear them.
Hai Ho:Yeah, I don't hear them. I'm so funny.
Tony D.:I'm kicking. This is hilarious.
Hai Ho:Yeah, freelancers in this industry is a little bit different, I agree, but as I get older, when I started with Carmen, it was like she said 2001, 2003, I think, so it's been like 20 years, right? So what happens after 20 years is there's 20 years worth of graduate uh artists coming out of school. That's 20 years of kids coming out every year right, I get older. But then the industry in general is all about being less expensive and fast, right?
Hai Ho:so every year we talk. We're talking about technology, ai, everything's getting easier and faster you gotta be up to date yeah, you have to be up to date.
Hai Ho:It is a challenge as I get older Carmen might talk about it too. As you get older, you have more people to go up against other freelancers to take your time, because what I learned when I first graduated there's three things that a company look for right, and if you can do two out of the three, so one is being less expensive, right, Cheap, fast and talented really good. So if you're two out of those three, you're going to get hired. So when you get out of school, you're cheap and you're fast right, and you won't get any talent unless you have experience. So you're going to be experienced and then you're fast and that's what they're paying for. Right, you can't be cheap. Of course, as you get older, your time is money, so you don't want to. If they're going to charge you $25, you might as well work somewhere that pays $25 and not have to do this work so creatively.
Hai Ho:That's how that works out. And my wife was like why don't you just drive Uber? And I'm like, yeah, I'm down to drive Uber, but I did the math. I'm like okay, so I got to drive my car, pay gas, do all this stuff to my car, and then, of course, some days you make money, some days you don't, but then the average comes out to be like 15, 20 bucks an hour.
Hai Ho:I'd rather do art at home and not get out in the sun and mess up my car and put miles on my car. So the math didn't work out for me. So I was like I'd rather just find clients and work from home.
Rick Costa:Yeah, my friend tried that and he said in the end it wasn't worth it. He tried it for like maybe a year and he said it's not worth it the gas, the repair of the car, and it's not worth it in the end.
Tony D.:Yeah, vehicle maintenance. It's a big thing, yes.
Carmen Lezeth:Yeah, I miss what you guys were saying. I couldn't even tell my neighbors because it was a bunch of older ladies, like five of them.
Rick Costa:The Golden Girls.
Carmen Lezeth:It was just way down. I was like you know what, hi, I just opened the door. I'm like I feel so stupid, so it was all good, they walked away. No, they were just all talking to my next door neighbor, but it was just weird. It was like the Golden Girls Although the golden girls were my age when they were doing that show. Yeah, so it's scary, but you were saying something that I missed, hi, and I just want to chime in about it. Something about as you get older, it gets more competitive. Is that what you were saying to?
Hai Ho:yeah, yeah, it's true because I I told him that I met you in 2003, 2004. There's been, and every year our art school spits out a graduating class. That's 20 years of graduating class, right, and in. California. There's Art Center, there's Otis, there's CalArts, that's three schools. That's pumping out kids out of school, telling them that you're going to find a job. But realistically, hollywood is pretty tiny right.
Hai Ho:And if you spread out, you go to canada, australia, but it's still an entertainment industry is small but you keep hitting your mic or something, so it keeps cutting you out.
Carmen Lezeth:Sorry, then he moves it again listen, I love my babies in this industry. Let me just tell you, because not one of them have come on the show without technical drama. I still mess with joel about it. Joel lava, right? Yeah, I'm still messing with him about that even charlie.
Rick Costa:All of a sudden, the screen went black. Where'd you go?
Carmen Lezeth:I know, but here's the thing about charlie he's a screenwriter and an actor.
Carmen Lezeth:I expect that but, you know what I think too, and here's the other part, and I don't know if this just is a woman thing, but as I got older, I never was increasing my rate because I was so afraid that people wouldn't pay it. But I would like how long can you go making 50, 60, 75 dollars an hour when you're like you have 30 years experience and you do also, now you're doing it fast? I love what you were talking about, hi, where you were like when you're young, you're, you're new, but you're fast, and I like what you said, cause it's so true, but I have all this experience, and the idea that I would walk in and get like $25 an hour to do this reorganizing your entire team or your entire situation is. It's just unrealistic, and there's no way somebody graduating out of college is going to be able to come in and do. They don't have the experience. So it's an interesting conversation.
Carmen Lezeth:I did not know we were going to go here, but you're doing good and you're. Are you happier now, though? Oh, yeah, yeah, I was, and are you?
Hai Ho:happier now, though. Oh yeah, yeah, I'm way happier now. For sure, I'm leaving that company, and I was there for 11 years and I made tons of friends. It just didn't work out and I just had to leave.
Carmen Lezeth:Yeah, was it worse than Brand New School? Tony's laughing because he knows. Tony, why are you on the show?
Rick Costa:Leave, watch me, you ask me.
Carmen Lezeth:Today's your day, so hi, we're laughing at you because your mic is still making so much noise, but it's not the other noise.
Tony D.:Listen, you didn't see your face. That might be it.
Carmen Lezeth:Here's what's going to happen. We are going to. What is it? Visualize that I'm going to hire an editor and then none of this. I will give a shit about.
Tony D.:Watch the replay between 29 and 30 minutes. Watch your face.
Carmen Lezeth:Because I don't want to interrupt you.
Hai Ho:It's so crazy.
Carmen Lezeth:No, no, no, it's all good. It's almost like you have a lav mic on, if you're hitting it it is? Is it static?
Rick Costa:it's like static or something. That's what it sounds like, but I don't know. I don't see you hitting anything, though that's what's confusing me but it does sound like it's a lav mic.
Carmen Lezeth:When you have a lav mic, do you guys know what a lav mic, but he's using the one, like this I know, but it sounds like, because I always do that whenever I have a live mic on and I'm talking, I'll hit the wire or whatever and I'll move my neck and it'll make that noise and I'll get yelled at by the sound people I'll be like retake what.
Tony D.:I heard a static. I heard a couple times say it here it comes, okay, so I'm going to admit something.
Carmen Lezeth:Because you're so mean, I'm going to admit something. I am also easily distracted and so I'm concentrating on him, but I'm hearing all this other, like the ladies. You can hear them.
Rick Costa:Fuck, I'm high maintenance.
Carmen Lezeth:All right, I'm high maintenance. I want perfection. I want it to be easy and perfect. Why is that so hard? You guys are mean. High knows me as a nice person.
Hai Ho:I was nice right. I wasn't stealing it. I wouldn't have come back if you weren't nice. Good answer.
Carmen Lezeth:Thank you. Thank you my babies. Yeah, no, it was a good time there, but I'm just glad that you're happy. I think the stress of not having enough money though I'm not saying that for you, I think for me.
Carmen Lezeth:Look, I love doing voiceover work. That's where I made, that's how I got my SAG card, that's how I ended up just starting in this business and getting to know people or whatever it was doing voiceover work and it was so much fun and I loved it, but it wasn't consistent voiceover work and it was so much fun and I loved it, but it wasn't consistent. And then I was like I'll just do bookkeeping part-time and then I'll do. I was like, and at that point I was making like $30 an hour doing bookkeeping and then you have to go out for auditions and that was before we had these home voice things Like you were making them yourselves when trying to do it, but you still had to make a decent clean cut. By the way, that's where I learned editing on Audacity, which is so weird that I'm not using that so much now and then your agent would have you want to go to their office to do your demo because you didn't have the right equipment or whatever.
Carmen Lezeth:It took a lot of time and when you're not getting consistent work and when you're union, you can't do non-union stuff and you don't want to because you'll be barred for life. And I was like no, I got to get other work and it happened again and I was going back out doing some acting auditions, whatever, and I love the creative process, but I also love being around people who are in the like with you guys, with all the animators and everybody who was working at Brand New School. But I don't know, it was hard and I think I was happier in one sense because I didn't feel so much pressure working for a company again. And then I was miserable because it was hard to buy the things you need to exist. I'm not a big luxury person. I know Tony thinks I am. Yeah, they call me bougie. That is so far from the truth, tony. Hi, did you ever think I was bougie at Brand New School?
Hai Ho:No.
Carmen Lezeth:No, look at Tony, thinking he's going to say hi.
Tony D.:I just wanted to hear his answer.
Carmen Lezeth:Yeah, you thought he was going to be like. Hey, yeah, she was. No, what am I?
Tony D.:going to do when I graduate? I'm going to be this what You're mumbling again.
Carmen Lezeth:You're mumbling again, dorko, but no, so I live, very simply, my car. I have the same car I had at Brand New School. Same car. I bought it when all the people at Brainerd School remember everybody had like Humvees and Landros, like all these guys had these huge cars. I went and bought a new car and it was like my little Honda Civic hybrid and I still have it today. That's not bougie, especially in LA. Tony Smith, you better be laughing with me not at me.
Tony D.:I got you Tony. You know how we do, bro. I know I just busted with with me, not at me, he is I got to tell you you know how we do, bro.
Carmen Lezeth:I know I just busted with you. You're happier, but are you looking for full-time work?
Hai Ho:Both, yeah, I'm freelancing and just looking, so it's not that big of a deal. Yeah, it's hard, of course, at the beginning. Once we get all our stuff all straightened out, then I think it's good. It gave me more time to just read, and I think I'm reading a book right now. My phone is called Look it up here. I've been reading a lot more.
Carmen Lezeth:I have to get back to reading. I have to win the lottery.
Hai Ho:I don't want to win the lottery.
Carmen Lezeth:I want some long lost relative that I never knew. Come tell me that somebody died and left me money in the family. They've always been looking for me. I want that dream. I'm just saying that's a better chance of getting that than the lottery. That's the irony. There's a better chance of that happening. I don't even need a lot. Just enough for three years so I can relax a little bit, travel a little bit. A lot just enough for three years so I can relax a little bit, travel a little bit. Look at Tony.
Tony D.:I'm stopping for life. I'm vacationing for years.
Carmen Lezeth:If you win the lottery.
Tony D.:Yes, years.
Carmen Lezeth:Okay, then what are?
Tony D.:you reading.
Hai Ho:The Law of Success and 16 Lessons by Napoleon Hill?
Carmen Lezeth:I don't know that at all.
Rick Costa:Napoleon Hill, I know him. No, napoleon Hill, I know him, yeah.
Carmen Lezeth:Oh, I don't know him. Is it good so?
Hai Ho:far it's really good. Yeah, I'm halfway through with it. It just talks about it was during a time like a little bit after the Great Depression, I think, okay, yeah, so it really talks about, yeah, different lessons about success and mostly being a salesperson pretty much. Try to get your network, your network. Earth is your network, so getting out there. Talking to people. It's a great book. I started like 50% through it.
Carmen Lezeth:Okay, I'm going to tell you one thing not to do as a salesperson. I'm just going to say this because I think we've all experienced this. To tell you one thing not to do as a salesperson. I'm just going to say this because I think we've all experienced this Do not ask me to be your network on LinkedIn, right? Someone you don't know. And I say yes, and then your next email is hey, I was wondering how are you doing with your lawn services? We have Bobcats, remember? I told you that last week I was like I was looking everywhere on my profile to figure out where, but they didn't even do that. They're just asking to be People who do that. They then send you a sales pitch on an email and they didn't even take a moment to read. Isn't a Bobcat like a? It is right, it's a farm thing or something.
Tony D.:It's a construction, sometimes farming yes, I couldn't even.
Carmen Lezeth:I couldn't even respond because I was like block, I don't even. That was just dumb. Why would you do that? Yeah, but I did. I went. I kept going through my profile to be like where would they think I need a bobcat, unless i'm'm confused by what it is.
Rick Costa:One thing that annoys me is please get to the point. So somebody called me and they're like oh, we can, how much did you pay in your electric bill last month? I was like, oh Lord, what is this about? And then he never would say what the point. And I'm saying I think I know where this is going. It was solar. He wanted to sell me on solar, never said it. And then he goes you know what I'm going to give you to my other person and she's the best, and blah, blah, blah, and she's going to talk to you. And then finally she said the word solar. I was like, okay, let me stop you, stop wasting your time. They said we got too many trees around our house and it's not going to. And then she's looking at pictures. She's like oh yeah, you're right.
Carmen Lezeth:Did she have your address?
Rick Costa:Yeah, she did.
Carmen Lezeth:I didn't even tell her my address, I think it's adorable that you even do not call me unless I know you, Because I'm not even answering the phone, I'm just going to click.
Rick Costa:As soon as she was like oh, this ain't going nowhere. Okay, have a nice day, Click.
Carmen Lezeth:I'm like to waste time now. She's not going to make a sale. Now, Tony, how do you deal with the massive amounts of people who try to reach out to you and sell you something?
Tony D.:Oh, I ignore them, what I ignore them, I have been doing this for years. I'll see it and it's a matter of whether or not you respond. People are reaching out to expand what they have or looking for new clientele. It's up to you as to whether or not you respond, Because I get yeah but phone calling people, isn't that called cold calling, cold calling, cold emailing? The phone calls. I get more from the insurance companies, organizations like Fraternal Order Police, the firefighters.
Carmen Lezeth:You guys actually pick up the phone when you don't know who it is. I don't.
Tony D.:Usually I don't. It doesn't bother me, especially when I got all my bills paid. When I don't have my bills paid, I don't answer Because it might be collection. I'm like, who is this? Honestly, the biggest thing that helps me is I don't always have a signal, so my phone may cut off.
Tony D.:That's just the best thing too, but I'll check it out. And sometimes people change their numbers and they just try to let me know and they don't leave a message. Also, I will say this for myself If I know people who are overseas sometimes I don't recognize a number I will answer in case they're calling me.
Carmen Lezeth:That's what. Whatsapp is for and Signal. This is before WhatsApp, but okay, this is before. Okay, I'm just saying I just, I think it's just, I never, but I do remember back in the day. I'm sure most people listening may have had this experience, but when you have the collection people on your ass, oh man, and they don't want to hear nothing, but when you're going to pay, they want to know who.
Tony D.:When you're going back to work, do you have any film, Do you have any family, do you have any friends or what are we going to do? And I'm just after 10 minutes. I told you the truth. I don't know what else to tell you.
Carmen Lezeth:I'll get it to you later yeah, you got it. But the worst thing you can do is talk to collection people. You do not. I hope everyone knows that. Do not talk to them, because the clock starts. Last thing you want to do is let things go to collection. But it happens because it's life and it's hard and we're all living paycheck to paycheck, Most of us. There's no one here who's a Warren Buffett. You know what I'm saying. So did you say Warren Buffett? I'm out.
Rick Costa:Did you see her face?
Carmen Lezeth:Jimmy, have you been there the whole time?
Jimmy Matlosz :The whole time. Define whole time. No, I've only been here since about nine minutes.
Carmen Lezeth:Hold on one second. You've been here nine minutes. I didn't even see you on here.
Jimmy Matlosz :I'm so sorry, I only know nine minutes because I looked at the clock when I logged in.
Carmen Lezeth:I was like, oh, I opened it, jimmy, why didn't you text me? Okay, wait a minute.
Jimmy Matlosz :So first of all. Well, it says so, I'm over on the left. It says you're in the waiting room. The host can see you.
Carmen Lezeth:No, the host could not see you because he's not that fucking coordinated. I am so sorry, there's too many windows here. I Sorry, there's too many windows here. I see you now. How are?
Jimmy Matlosz :you doing, jimmy Doing good? Yeah, you saved me from working on my car, which is a good thing.
Carmen Lezeth:Okay. So wait, jimmy, do you? I'm going to introduce you to everybody, but you?
Jimmy Matlosz :don't know hi, you guys don't know each other. No, because when you come in, when I, with brand new school, I was only ever a DP and we never went in the maybe twice I went in the office in, okay.
Carmen Lezeth:So okay, wait, so you're director of photography. For those who don't know the lingo, right, so you were always on the shoots. And what was jonathan's brother's name? I forgot pat so pat was doing the same thing you did correct okay right, hi, you would know pat, because he was jon Jonathan's brother and he would be in the place. Okay, so I understand what was that. So when we had other jobs or whatever, you would take it over and you'd be on set.
Jimmy Matlosz :Yeah, I would always compete with Pat, and it's tough when you're competing with nepotism.
Carmen Lezeth:When you're competing with the boss's brother, it's hard.
Jimmy Matlosz :When I met Pat, I was pleasantly surprised.
Carmen Lezeth:He's a total sweetheart. Oh, he absolutely is, and so wasn't Jonathan, although I'll never talk to him again, but that's a story.
Rick Costa:It's another story. What Another story for another day.
Carmen Lezeth:Oh, I've told that story way too many times and don't get me drinking on it, because it's even worse. Okay, so Hai and Jimmy know each other. And then below us is Rick Costa, who watched all of your movies and read everything about you and is pissed at you because they canceled your interview and so you owe him an interview.
Carmen Lezeth:Oh my gosh, that's funny, which I'm looking forward to because I respect Rick's willingness to look at any of my work and then I wouldn't introduce you to the guy above you, tony, but he's just a pain in the ass, so don't, tony. I got much love for you. I'm just kidding. This is my good friend, jimmy.
Tony D.:How are you? I'm good, I'm good.
Jimmy Matlosz :So were you former military or police, or both?
Tony D.:Retired in National Guard aircraft mechanic, currently a civil service aircraft mechanic. I did work six years as a security forces augmentee. I lost that time so I did work a little bit of police work.
Jimmy Matlosz :Dang Thanks for all that you do.
Tony D.:What's up Pena?
Carmen Lezeth:Pena's in the house. Wow, okay, I'm totally thrown by that. Wait, tony, how long were you doing police work? I didn't know that.
Tony D.:I worked as a base cop for six years. It was part of a program after 9-11 where the National Guard and Reserve could help secure the bases. I volunteered for that. I worked seven months at Andrews, ten months at Bowling, two and a half years at Tyndall, two years here at Robbins and I worked about six months cumulative in my home station as a base cop.
Carmen Lezeth:I didn't know, that yeah.
Jimmy Matlosz :I can't remember what I did last week.
Tony D.:I'm getting old. I had to remember that because when I was filling out resumes I had to remember all the dates and the times. Mind you, during that time I was also working as a mechanic once a month on F-16s, so I was pulling two jobs at the same time, and most of my life I've been pretty much pulling two jobs, yeah.
Carmen Lezeth:Yeah, I don't think I've ever done that.
Tony D.:Yeah, I've done it. I've done three jobs that drove me nuts.
Jimmy Matlosz :I almost killed myself doing it Like three full-time jobs, like eight-hour days.
Tony D.:No One full-time, two other part-time. When I first became a father, I told his mom don't work for three months, because the doctors always say when a woman has a child she needs six months to recuperate, three months to bond with the baby. I told her don't work for three months. I picked up a third job and I was working seven days a week, exhausting myself. That's stress.
Jimmy Matlosz :Don't do that. You lived through it.
Tony D.:I did. Almost did not because I almost got in an accident one night. I told the guy on the third drive I got to stop. I was literally driving back and was going by a sign, and I don't care what anybody says. I literally saw the sign turn and just look at me. I said nope. And I was on a curve. I was looking at the sign. The sign just comes to you. The sign just looked at me. I on a curve, the sign just comes to you. The sign looks like this. I just looked at it. I said no.
Jimmy Matlosz :I'm done. I remember leaving a job once we were over in Playa del Rey. I'm driving on the freeway. I thought I was on the 405. All of a sudden I see the sign Santa Monica Pier. I was like, oh man, I'm on the 10. I had no idea.
Carmen Lezeth:You were going the opposite way. Wow, yeah.
Jimmy Matlosz :You were in my neighborhood. And this was probably 20 something years ago. Luckily, I hopped on PCH and headed home, but it was a wake up call for sure.
Tony D.:Yes, when you push yourself, you got to realize you're almost going to a I don't want to say vertigo, but you like zone out. Oh yeah, and I've actually driven more than one occasion. I do a lot of road trips. One time I was driving, I remember being on the highway and then all of a sudden I was on a turn lane. My turn signal was I don't even know what made me do that, so I had to stop some of those long road trips over 12 hours.
Jimmy Matlosz :Good. Well, I'm glad you're getting older and wiser, thank you.
Carmen Lezeth:I'm tired of working, but. I am too, I know.
Tony D.:I'm just saying I was talking to somebody last week about it. I've literally been working 30 years of my life.
Carmen Lezeth:That's it.
Tony D.:What do you mean? That's it. What's wrong with you?
Carmen Lezeth:I've been working since I was 12. I worked at Little Peach.
Tony D.:You're lucky to have a job and continue keeping a job. It was hard to find a job for a lot of folks, so when I did get a, job, but I was 12.
Carmen Lezeth:You said you've been working only 30 years.
Tony D.:Yeah, because it was hard to get a job. When I got one, I said I was going to stick with it, and I've been lucky to be able to improve upon jobs with increased pay. That's the kicker You're talking about real jobs.
Carmen Lezeth:I had a little job. I was being funny Like I've been working since I was 12. Wasn't like I started when I was 14.
Jimmy Matlosz :I worked at a gas station as much as you could, full-time as a high school student. Yes, yeah.
Tony D.:And I've had part-time jobs with gaps, but consistently the past 30 years I've maintained some type of employment.
Jimmy Matlosz :I haven't had a full-time job since 1990. Good Lord, since 1992, I haven't had a full-time job Because he's a freelancer.
Rick Costa:And we're back to freelancing Right.
Tony D.:I hope it came out of news.
Carmen Lezeth:I hope it came out your news it's true, because a lot of people in this town are freelancers Like they. I don't know why that is, but the studio system sets it up that way as well. You work on a pro a movie. It has a beginning, a middle and an end. Unless you're working for the production companies, like I do, I have consistent work because I don't just manage projects, I manage the people that run the production companies that are always existing, trying to get more work. So that's the difference.
Jimmy Matlosz :Yeah, and for commercials, a lot of them are one day shoots. But I talked to you about hiring a career coach and she went through my numbers and what I hope to make in the next year and she's, and she's yeah, you need to work, basically 10 days yeah okay, wait so explain that, because not everybody's listening who's in the industry.
Carmen Lezeth:You don't have work consistently, but when you do work you make bank.
Jimmy Matlosz :I can, yes, only because I'm. I've climbed the ladder right. I work as a director and a cinematographer, and sometimes a camera operator. Camera operator plays, pays expenses. A director no-transcript.
Carmen Lezeth:A commercial go on with that. A budget of a movie, first of all let's go to commercials okay, all right, do commercials. A commercial for a national brand, which is what you would probably shoot for. Right is would be how much for a budget? What would be a budget? You could well no, because I think this is actually the fascinating part, that people don't understand and if you do understand it.
Carmen Lezeth:You would know why people were on strike and why people get upset here in Hollywood about a lot of things because it sounds glamorous. Oh my God.
Jimmy Matlosz :You made twenty two thousand dollars in a week of work on an episode and then you don't work again for another six months, as I'm talking about acting wise, so yeah, so this could open up a can of worms, because one of the reasons I got incorporated I did incorporate was on a brand new school job and it was in new york and I think it was about 2009 and I hadn't worked for probably two, three months. And I get this gig and it was for bud weiser and it was the introduction of bud wheat and it was jonathan's directing and I think my paycheck was somewhere around $35,000 for that week and you worked how many days?
Jimmy Matlosz :With prep days you don't get paid, so let's say five days.
Carmen Lezeth:Yeah.
Jimmy Matlosz :It was a lot of overtime and a lot of, because we know how that goes right.
Carmen Lezeth:But it sounds good to people who are just listening and don't know the industry. And then what happened afterwards?
Jimmy Matlosz :So then what happens is you fall into the 45% tax bracket. So your $35,000 is now 16,000, or shy of 20. Thank you for doing the math, tony. Thank you Now. At that time I had an agent slash manager who took 15% of the gross, not the net.
Carmen Lezeth:But that's normal. That's normal, talk them numbers, talk them numbers.
Tony D.:Go ahead, tony, give me the numbers you said 15% after the 45% tax bracket, which means 60% of your check is already gone. Keep going.
Jimmy Matlosz :So what I wound up with walking away with was about $12,000 or $14,000 after not working for three months, which three to four months, whatever and then we know that comes down to $3,000 to $4,000 a month. But meanwhile what happens is you guys were talking about collections earlier you push bills off, you don't pay certain things. All of a sudden it's like, oh, I got, wait a minute, I you push bills off, you don't pay certain things. All of a sudden it's like, oh, I got, wait a minute, I don't have any money. Now I have to work right away again, and sometimes that $35,000 paycheck might only be one every other month or two months. So you're constantly chasing your own tail. So after that I got incorporated, which meant I got to keep the entire nut and deal with it, push it as far back as October of the following year. So if this job was in September of let's say it was September of 23, I wouldn't even have to deal with the taxes until October of 24.
Carmen Lezeth:But you still have to pay what you have to pay. You don't have to pay an agent anymore and you don't have to. But you lose something with that right, Because now you don't have an agent working for you to try get you work.
Jimmy Matlosz :I've been through a couple of agents and that's another story. But what it comes down to is it keeps you liquid for a while and then the carrot's always dangling. You always think okay, I'm going to get three $35,000 jobs back to back and all of a sudden I'm going to make a hundred grand in two months and life is good. And I think that year I did something similar. The whole year was super slow and then all of a sudden, three or four months I made the majority of my yearly salary 60 70 thousand dollars in a couple months right and then you disperse your funds and then you have an accountant and a lot of it is as a freelancer.
Jimmy Matlosz :almost everything you do is a tax deduction. If we could deduct breathing, we would.
Carmen Lezeth:I deduct everything under the sun, everything.
Jimmy Matlosz :And it's valid too. It's we live and breathe our job.
Carmen Lezeth:I wish I didn't, though Not this job, not this job. I wish I didn't, though I'm not this job.
Jimmy Matlosz :I'm not this job. Another thing I discovered by stupid accident was when I moved outside of California and changed my residency. So everything I do in California is a business expense, because that's the only reason I'm there.
Carmen Lezeth:Where are you again? I always forget. I would say I don't know, right so it's a combination of things.
Jimmy Matlosz :So I raised my kids in north idaho. We moved up here because it's just gorgeous. Not tony left north idaho no, no, no, he's flying, crossing his teeth, which I will not allow on air, so he does has a habit of doing that, so raise the kids in north idaho, which is like one of the most beautiful places I've ever been to, aside from the stupid politics and trust me, the politics are stupid talk about politics on our show, but we don't, nope.
Carmen Lezeth:And then because some people love that, those politics and so people give always give me pause.
Jimmy Matlosz :When I say north, I d and I have to define what, where, what the deal is. We have a lot of hippies here and I like the hippies.
Carmen Lezeth:Because you are one.
Jimmy Matlosz :Then, more recently, I reestablished my residency in Washington state with my fiance. The big reason is there's filming incentives in Washington state and I hope to collaborate with the people that live and work there, because they're pretty awesome. Yeah, so basically I'm in three different states.
Carmen Lezeth:Yeah, and you have to pay taxes on all three, right?
Jimmy Matlosz :No, you wouldn't. You'd only. You only play taxes on your resident, where you live where you live.
Carmen Lezeth:Okay, how come I have to pay? Oh, because I work in New York. Yeah, yeah, unless you're incorporated. Yeah.
Jimmy Matlosz :And then they take a percentage, but it's a lot less. So that's my sort of plan, my life in a nutshell, as far as a, so do you?
Carmen Lezeth:prefer freelance, or would you rather have a like working for, let's say, some studio on a regular basis or something?
Jimmy Matlosz :I haven't worked a full-time job, like I said, since 1992. I don't think I'm employable by most people's standards. Right, because they're like are you going to stick around Because you've been spoiled? At the same time, I did apply for what I thought was an amazing job with Disney. They needed a director of photography and it paid really well. It was like up around 200 grand in-house and I was like dang and literally it was my resume. I got rejected immediately. I'm talking like I sent it in and it, like I said, it was my resume and I've worked for Disney and I was working for Disney at the time as a freelancer. I think I sent it in on a Monday. I got a rejection on Thursday.
Tony D.:That's disrespectful.
Jimmy Matlosz :They're probably looking for somebody considerably younger or whatever.
Tony D.:Yeah, but Jesus, I think your experience would count. That's what a lot of people think in the workforce today that our experience is going to count.
Jimmy Matlosz :Not in filmmaking, my friend.
Tony D.:Understood, understood, because you need new ideas, you need new aspects. Oh, I think it's just ageism.
Carmen Lezeth:I think it's just ageism. I don't think it's because everybody has new ideas and fresh ideas and blah, blah blah. But it's usually about something that people are not aware of. They see someone who is older because they have, or they make an assumption because most people don't have their birthdays or anything on their resumes. But when you have that much experience and you're trying to show here's everything I got I'm very eager, I really want to do it they can make an assumption about who you are right Based on your experience. And I think that's not a conscious decision. I think people we all have it in like I just went and was trying to figure out who was talking so loud in front of my door. Not in a million years would. I thought it was like four or five little old ladies. You know what I mean. Like I made an assumption. There was some teenagers when I just got up and went over there.
Carmen Lezeth:But I think ageism is also changing, like the pendulum is swinging back the other way, because people are starting to realize companies are starting to realize that there is worth in hiring people who do have a lot of experience and really want the job. So I'm seeing that as well, because I do a lot of hiring. I do more firing than I do hiring. So I start to see that, because it's a whole other issue. But I start to see that we're hiring people who are older 40s, 50s. We even hired someone recently who was in their 60s and it wasn't because they were 60. We were just like you know what we want that person who really wants the job for the next two years at least, don't stay at a job long. It's a thing.
Jimmy Matlosz :It is a thing. It's like the new sports teams, right. No player stays with the team more than two years, no employee stays around and there's, I think. But getting back to it, I think this is the new paradigm that we've been dealing with for a couple of years. When we got in the business, if you were under 35, nevermind 40, you'd get a smack down if you wanted to be a director or a DP or something like that. Now it's oh, you're 21 and you just graduated. Here's a Nike commercial, exactly Because you're going to have fresh ideas.
Jimmy Matlosz :No, they have no experience. They may, right, but a lot of ideas, and I think we all, within our own expertise of work, our ideas come from things we've already seen. So I'm not going to do that because that's been done. I can do that because that's been done, and then we can build an idea based on that. I mean, I think I'm a better writer today than I would have ever been at 28. Never mind 38. Just life experience I've read more books, I've met more people and you're more efficient at it, and that's the thing I always try to tell my clients.
Carmen Lezeth:The reason why I don't want to hire somebody who just graduated they don't know. And you're more efficient at it. And that's the thing I always try to tell my clients that the reason why I don't want to hire somebody who just graduated, they don't know how to be your executive assistant. Now let me be clear being an executive assistant is a hard job. The hard part isn't going to go pick up the mail Anybody can go pick up the mail but it's having the ability and the patience to deal with the bosses or whoever your supervisor is or whoever you're doing the work for, deal with their personality.
Carmen Lezeth:You know what I mean Having patience, or asking the right questions, or knowing that you don't know what you don't know and saying that instead of trying to wing it I can't. There are so many people who are so young who don't know how to just say you know, carmen, I don't know. Can you explain that to me? How to do it? Instead, they just go and then they're out of the office for four hours and they still come back. And they didn't and I know they weren't trying to do nothing because I ain't that damn stupid, but they still didn't bring anything. They didn't do what needed to do or there's the people that.
Jimmy Matlosz :so you asked me to do a task, like, hey, can you, can you go do this errand? And they do just that errand and they come back and they stand there and what's next? Think on your feet, dude. There's 20 things going on around you. That's a very common trait. Now, luckily, I've raised my kids to be very proactive and I'm happy to report back that they will multitask, probably more than I will.
Tony D.:Yeah, that's today's generation being able to multitask Effectively, right, effectively? Yes, I do want to jump in on this. I took multitasking seriously because, as a teenager, what I used to want to be able to do was to be a fighter pilot. I had to learn my eye-hand coordination. That has helped me in life to be focused on something and still be able to do something else. Even people used to drive stick shifts. You had to be able to do more than one thing at one time.
Carmen Lezeth:I drive stick shift. I'm just saying You're like people.
Tony D.:I made my point, go ahead.
Carmen Lezeth:I'm sorry, go ahead, sorry. No for real Multitasking this generation. Sorry, go ahead, sorry.
Tony D.:No for real Multitasking this generation. I think one of the benefits of some of the devices is how people got to focus and switch up. There's a little bit of a open mind for this youth, even though they do seem easily distracted and they can't sometimes make their own decisions. I see a bit of a combination of the two with this generation. If you can understand that aspect, you may be able to understand what's going on with the youth. Some of them don't think on their own but they'll do things. If you actually tell them what they got to do early and they just run and go knock it out, you might get more production. Some people may mess up or whatever. I know people need people to do things specifically at this point and they'll wait for something else. But they'll endanger themselves by thinking as much as they're supposed to because it may not go with the agenda. Based on how you said, it is how they interpret it. Take a lot of that with your workforce and see if that helps.
Carmen Lezeth:I'm actually going to disagree with you, cause I always do. That's my whole goal in life with you. No matter what you say, I'm a fine. So I'm the argue with you about. You know what I mean. Actually, I'm going to disagree with him too. That'll make you feel better with jimmy too, a little bit.
Carmen Lezeth:I disagree. Here's the thing I don't believe anyone can multitask. It's bullshit. You are doing two things or three things at the same time, but you're doing them half-assed, so you're doing. Our brains don't work that way. It's a thing that people say all the time you're doing three or four things at the same time, but you're not doing them 100%, because we can't focus that way.
Carmen Lezeth:So, there's a difference between driving my car and listening to music. Those are two different parts of the brain. And also, we get used to that, right, we get used to doing that because it's repetitive, right. Using the brake right, we don't think doing that because it's repetitive, right. Using the brake right, we don't think about using the brake when we see the red light. It's because we've conditioned ourselves. But this idea that I can have you and I have quite a few Gen Z people working in one of my companies, one of my clients' companies, and they'll be on their phone, they'll be looking at their laptop, they'll be saying they're not looking at me, but they say that they're listening to me, right? And then, three hours later, I'm like did you bring the folder to Joe because he needed it at one o'clock and he's in the meeting now without it. What? You didn't tell me that? I'm like oh my God, oh my God.
Jimmy Matlosz :So now I have to tell them and I text them. I think it's. I think it's more diversified thinking, if you want to. The way I would define it is that our diversified capabilities. You know, I think Tony sounds like he's. We all probably do 20 different types of things, but literally I will have a day where I'm literally working on my car and then I'll come today I was building a website or updating my website, and then I go outside and I'm installing motor mounts in my car and then I'm gardening in the meantime.
Carmen Lezeth:Doing each one of those individually and then going to the next one.
Jimmy Matlosz :It's diversified talent right, so multi.
Carmen Lezeth:Like when people talk about multitasking they're like oh, I'm doing the computer thing here, I'm on the phone over here. That you, that does not exist, you cannot do that yeah, I agree, let me see what melanie just said. How about putting a list of things in groups and doing all of the like things together at the same time?
Tony D.:a friend calls it group tasking interesting. Yeah, I understand that I understand that.
Jimmy Matlosz :Yeah, that makes sense but possibly this the upcoming generation. If they were raised, their parents diversified their thought patterns and gave them more than just one thing to do, hopefully more than just a video game. Yes, and and you could have a great, in my definition, multitasking someone who can do multiple tasks throughout the day. That are completely almost completely polar opposites.
Carmen Lezeth:I think these kids have grown up. Look, I love Gen Z, but I think every generation has their pluses and minuses, right? There's no way that our parents or our elders weren't frustrated with us too when we had our little Sony Walkman Don or whatever right? Or we need a beast, you know, like whatever it is right, thinking that that's going to warp our mind or whatever. But I think these kids have access to information that I wish I had as a kid.
Carmen Lezeth:I imagine growing up with Google, like just being able to have a computer in your hand. And I was telling my niece I feel older and older all the time. But I was like we had one computer in our high school class because we were all learning to type like on typewriters. She was like no way, it was an amazing thing. And then when we got the first, like that big IBM clunky, that big ass computer thing, we took turns. We had to take turns to just check it out. And can you imagine growing up and having a phone at 12 and just being able to oh, I don't know what it means to blah, blah, blah and just Google it, not go to the library. Oh my God, I remember microfiche. You remember means to blah blah blah and just google it, not go to the library.
Jimmy Matlosz :Oh my god, I remember micro fish you remember I don't know if you got older you remember going to the library and having a lot because the library always had to teach me, because I know to do, but you had that little film thing and you put it through the yeah, I think the big thing is teaching whatever younger generation that's in your orbit, teaching them that they have access to all this amazing information not just the tiktok videos, not, and tiktok has an educational platform. I understand that, but even my son he what he does is he's got an instagram account, so he'll download the app. He'll drop 20 photos in there and then delete the app why I don't even understand he doesn't want to doom scroll because it's so addictive.
Carmen Lezeth:Oh, because he knows if he has it on his phone.
Jimmy Matlosz :He will go there.
Tony D.:When he deletes it, it deletes what he puts on there too. No, no, he's not deleting. He's deleting the app.
Carmen Lezeth:I don't have it on my phone? I don't have the Apple iPhone, either just the app, but his Instagram is still up there.
Jimmy Matlosz :Yeah, because for him, youtube is the key to success. Because, literally, the kid learned how to replace a timing chain on his car when he was 17 from YouTube, hey.
Carmen Lezeth:I learned how to fix my own toilet from YouTube, very proud of myself. But then, somebody was like will you come to my house and teach me? I'm like you got Google. I ain't like a repair person for toilets now. I was like no way.
Jimmy Matlosz :So it's crazy because, like all of us, we belong on probably different platforms. And I'm on Reddit for everything from screenwriting to cinematography, and there's these younger people I'm not sure who they are They'll post on there. How do I write a screenplay, dude? There's YouTube. There's also this thing called a book.
Rick Costa:On Saturday we wanted to do weed whacking and then we were going out there and the string was at the end and we're like, oh crap. So we went and bought some and we're like, hey, we got it now. How do you put it on YouTube? So we got it now. How do you put it on YouTube? We just watched the YouTube and we figured it out.
Tony D.:We did it. Not all of those videos are accurate to whatever you got going on. People need to be aware of that as well.
Rick Costa:There was the one guy we watched. At first he was like here's how you do it. He's showing it. Then all of a sudden, he puts his hand in front of the camera. I can't see what you're doing, you idiot.
Carmen Lezeth:You clearly didn't watch it afterwards, but hopefully people in the comments told them something.
Jimmy Matlosz :Yeah, I learned WordPress by YouTube. There was a guy that presented an entire program I think it was two hours long literally how to build a proper WordPress website with Google Analytics from the ground up, and what's cool is you could download it so I could just reference it every time I worked on my site, and it just got better and better. It was impressive.
Carmen Lezeth:That's what I'm saying. So I think kids today are a lot smarter than I was growing up, and just having access to that is one of the things I think is amazing. But again, going back to that experience thing, like until you've had a little bit of life behind you, it's almost a waste right now, right, because they're just figuring out the other stuff that actually makes us more developed and more intriguing with all the nuance, and so it's a tough time. I try to be really kind to the Gen Z people that I work with, but it tests me. It really tests my patience.
Rick Costa:And they don't have the social skills either that we have naturally.
Carmen Lezeth:I had to tell one person like three times when I talk to you, I need you to look at me, I don't want you on, I'm just trying to do his schedule. I'm talking to you for five minutes. It's disrespectful. And they think, of course I'm like the old lady. I know what they say about me. She's so mean and I'm like, yes, I am, I can also fire you. So if you want me to use that card, I will, but they're not being rude. That's just they're not developed yet to understand proper manners.
Jimmy Matlosz :A lot of it's parenting. How did you raise your kids? I raised my kids when you shake someone's hand. When you meet, some look them in the eye. Someone's talking to you. Look them in the eye and listen.
Carmen Lezeth:You'll be smarter and it'll take you less time I feel like how I is okay, my kids are four. Let me write this down you already got all that right your kids will be fine. How old are your?
Hai Ho:kids six and one's about to be five we limit the amount of screen time they get, and then we take them outside a lot more often. We both agree that they will not have social media until they turn 16.
Tony D.:Yes.
Hai Ho:And not have a phone. What do you call it Electronic?
Tony D.:device.
Hai Ho:Yeah, they can have a phone, but like an old school flip phone Flip phone, yeah, and not have a real phone, that you can have the internet 24-7. So we're planning that, but the most that we want them to do is read a book. If they want something like a toy or whatever, I tell them okay, read a book, and then, once you finish reading the book, we'll get you the toy.
Carmen Lezeth:I like that one.
Hai Ho:Yeah, so screen time is a big thing for us because of course they're going to learn it at school, so they get enough of it at school. When you get home, go outside and play.
Jimmy Matlosz :So that's how we try to raise them. Put them outside as much as humanly possible.
Tony D.:Yeah.
Tony D.:A situation that happened a few years ago stopped a lot of them from getting out the house. With my son, we had the screen time but I was interacting with him. We do talk. He'll tell me what he's learning and I get something out of that, even with what he does on the screen time. And they are on computers in school. The younger kids have their own devices now, which is one of the complications we was running through with my youngest and we told them no for a minute and then we actually told them you got to get your grades up and your behavior right. We got to teach them how to behave because the screen time will give them certain behaviors. We were all taught that when we were younger.
Tony D.:Talk to your kids when they vent to you, talk to their conscience. I always tell people children, your child is 50% of your subconscious. Pretty much your subconscious is your child. Half of what's going on with the child came from you. You can't be mad at them for acting like you would, and that's the side of them that you got to talk to. When they're acting up, me and my ex-wife get into it all the time She'll call me. He did this. I know where he got it from? How do you figure? Because I used to do that, I'm like you used to do that and it silences her. I he grow into his old mind. Yes, because when you do that third set of who they are outside of you kicks in and that's when we really got the damn problems. But definitely check the side of you that is in that child. It will help you.
Jimmy Matlosz :Yeah, and I think what happens with a lot of people is they're mad at themselves for having that trait, and then when they see it in their kid, they're mad at themselves, but somehow it manifests into them being mad at the kid instead of going oh man, that's me, you got to tell him. I said I'm mad.
Tony D.:I don't know why. What are you mad about? I said you're mad because this he's like how do you know? I said because you got it from me. And he'll be like oh, that that's how you hit them and they'll control themselves afterwards. We teach kids to be obedient or get obedient. Teach them how to think. Computers will show them how to do things, but teach them how to think. Be aware of what you're taking in, what to ignore and what to keep. See, they need to have late-night parents back.
Carmen Lezeth:But even when you had late-night parents on, it's another show that they used to have after this, but you guys never talked. This is great stuff, hearing men talk about their children and parents. I don't even need to be here, I'm just going to go away.
Tony D.:I need you guys to talk.
Jimmy Matlosz :I don't know. Raising kids is the greatest experiment you'll ever have Say that again. I said raising kids is the greatest experiment you'll ever do. Yes, and I told my kids that all the time I'm like you're an experiment.
Tony D.:I'm like I don't know what I'm doing Wow. That's pretty good though.
Jimmy Matlosz :I mean I don't.
Hai Ho:I never did this before Granted.
Jimmy Matlosz :My kids are now 25 and 23. So I'm mostly through the woods. My daughter's a nurse, my son is in his last year of college and he just took a job as a fireman.
Carmen Lezeth:We love firemen.
Tony D.:And nurses or as fires. Too Nice Really.
Jimmy Matlosz :We did something right and even though me and his mom are divorced many years and we don't chat much, I still got to give her credit for part of that.
Tony D.:My oldest is 23. He's a college graduate and my baby boy's that. Yeah, yeah, my oldest is 23.
Jimmy Matlosz :He's a college graduate and my baby boy's 10.
Tony D.:Wow, you got some gaps there. Yeah, some relationships, two different states, two different times, all that good stuff. It's all good, but it's all right. Being a parent made me I tell people being a parent made me more of a man. I had to realize the responsibilities outside of myself. With my oldest, I think one of my regrets was I couldn't do more, even though we had valuable time and we always enjoyed being around each other. But there's so much more that I wanted to do that I couldn't. And with my youngest I am able to do a lot more of what I couldn't. But being a parent, it's absolutely fulfilling. I've told people I said people that don't have kids, don't worry about it. But those of us who do have children, we actually had to learn more patience and realize what we can't control more than people who don't.
Jimmy Matlosz :Yeah, a couple of things I learned was if you have a daughter, you want to be the kind of man you want your daughter to marry.
Tony D.:Yes, you do, and I'm glad I didn't have one because God have mercy I had a stepdaughter and my ex-wife. That was her daughter and she was so nervous about things with her and I would always talk to her Me and her. Actually cool, she's actually getting married in a couple of weeks. I got to go down there for that, but her and I had kicked it off so well and so good and I was always talking. She would ask me stuff, I need something, man perspective, come on, cause her I could and she would take it. And I always told her take this stuff, because these jokers you about to meet right now. I know what kind of bums are going to be. You got any question ever call me. She had called me a couple of times in college for advice. I'm like no, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, no, I would do all that and that's what you got to do. You got to Conversate with them instead of talking down to them. Let their individuals like we were we talking down to them. They're individuals like we were. We didn't like being talked down to when we were kids, when we were growing up, because we felt like we was getting something every year, that we was progressing in school, every test that we took, every quiz that we took, everything that we learned, and even when we could teach you what you don't remember.
Tony D.:If you acknowledge that about the youth these days, they'll actually grow more within themselves because they don't necessarily have so much coming down to where they can progress within themselves. I always emphasize that with a lot of kids. Kids love being around. I'll talk to them. I don't understand this you should do, because you just don't remember this. What about this? And I had those. They love it. They love it. I've always enjoyed talking to older folks who would talk to me instead of talking down. It helped me walk around with a little bit more self-assurance, and a lot of these kids do not have self-assurance. They feel beat down, they feel like they're going to face something and they're not afraid of punishment, which makes this generation very dangerous. They are not afraid of punishment. If you remember that, you're going to see it.
Jimmy Matlosz :Yeah, punishment doesn't work. If you've raised kids, you know that. So with my kids, if there was an argument, I would hear them arguing in the other room or fighting, or you hear somebody cry, I'd go in there and say, okay, first one that's honest and tells me who did what gets a hug.
Jimmy Matlosz :And I swear they'd be like oh, it was me, dad, that's good, I like that, I like it. Yeah, it worked. Just simple things. I don't know where I learned this stuff from it. Just I just, I guess I just wanted was open to being a better parent and when you yourself To be yourself as a parent.
Tony D.:That's what it was.
Jimmy Matlosz :Yeah, what I wanted, probably as a child. Yeah, but one of the things that I also learned. That was huge when I because freelance, you hit highs and lows. Sometimes you go through periods where it's damn, I've got enough for rent and not much more. So when you can't spoil your kids, you can always spoil them with attention and love, absolutely, because that's all they want. True, that is all they need, that's all they want. And it's amazing the response we had when my son turned 18 because my he's the youngest. It was christmas one year and I was basically dead broke. I was like, okay, you guys are getting a card. And I gave them a card, one card for the two of them. And in the card it said I will never argue with your mom, ever again. That's my gift to you. And it was like you could hear the record scratch what. And I said, yeah, you're both adults. The arguing's over. I no longer have to defend you did it work, though?
Carmen Lezeth:I mean, did you actually live up to that and not argue?
Jimmy Matlosz :100?
Carmen Lezeth:I'm curious what high thinks about all of this conversation I'm waiting for high's wife to say why are you hugging her?
Rick Costa:she just admitted she did it wrong because that's what he said to do I'm telling you it works because she'll admit it.
Jimmy Matlosz :And then what you do is we would. So they'd get the hug, and then we would discuss what the punishment was. A lot of times it was taking away a toy because you don't want to punish them. Oh, go read, because you don't want reading to be a punishment. Go grab a toy and then we donate the toy to some charity, and usually it was the toy they never played with.
Carmen Lezeth:I'm like come on, but hi, what are you? I'm just curious about your thoughts because you're in the beginning stages of I have two girls.
Hai Ho:My wife tells me all the time the way I treat her is how they're going to look for a guy, a man. So she says that to remind me every time. And of course I treat her sweet. But when they do get an argument, yeah, we don't. I haven't tried the hug technique before, but we try to be civilized and say okay, if you want something, all right, we'll put a timer on. You get it for five minutes and then, once that five minutes up, you get it. The youngest one usually be like okay, I don't want to play with it. She'll give it to the older sister and share it that way and she's like I don't need it. And sometimes she'll hold it on for five minutes and after a minute she forgets they don't know. They don't know time yet, no-transcript giant lab experiment.
Jimmy Matlosz :There's no user manual with children exactly no, because it's uh, and it's your dna and it's your personality. That's in there too, for sure.
Carmen Lezeth:I just want to say that I'm glad that I wrote out a whole thing, that we're going to talk it happens every time on the show. I love it.
Jimmy Matlosz :I may have to bounce in a minute or two, because we're going to have dinner soon usually I cut this off at an hour.
Carmen Lezeth:So we're already, we're almost. Yeah, we're a little long today but it was so nice to hear you all talk about I think we should have a show. It's just guys. I won't come on, I'll let you use the platform, but it would be nice. What, tony? Why, tony? You always get so like weird whenever I say anything. What is that about? You're that about you're gonna let the guys just do the show without you? Yeah, I would trust. I wouldn't trust you to fucking. I know any one of these guys and any other guy I would trust I wouldn't want the responsibility.
Jimmy Matlosz :That's the thing what, what, what? Tony wants the responsibility no, we don't want the responsibility of programming the show and showing up and moderating.
Carmen Lezeth:Oh, Rick would do it.
Jimmy Matlosz :Yeah, Rick would do it.
Carmen Lezeth:Absolutely I would trust him. Rick is my co-host. He would do it.
Tony D.:And I would trust him. Yeah, Rick's supposed to do it. I would do it. Yeah, and Ted.
Carmen Lezeth:Hicks, I would trust as well. Wow, he wanted to do it too early on and he was like I ain't branded yet.
Tony D.:She was nervous.
Carmen Lezeth:I was like we're not doing that baby, not yet, it's mine, this is my show. But yeah, I would love that. Look, I have said this a million times before it is so sexy to listen to men talk for real about things that matter. Right, and I say that because, as a woman, we only hear the bad stuff, like locker room talk or whatever. Supposedly guys only talk about women. But hearing you all talk about kids and raising them, I just thought that was sexy and cool and fascinating. Thank you, I wasn't really talking to you, tony.
Jimmy Matlosz :Yeah, it's not you, Tony.
Carmen Lezeth:Yeah, right, no, but no, thank you First of all, hi. Thank you for coming back. It's been a long time, but, but no, thank you First of all, hi.
Hai Ho:Thank you for coming back, it's been a long time, but I hope you'll come back again, of course. Yeah, yeah, good luck on your job search.
Jimmy Matlosz :I understand you are looking for gigs.
Hai Ho:Oh yeah, what do you do again? Hi, sorry, 3d animation, compositing, vfx stuff.
Jimmy Matlosz :Oh, okay, look me up on LinkedIn and if I hear weird to know these two guys work together and they don't know each other.
Hai Ho:It's so weird. Um jess, I can't remember her last name. She used to work at the mill. No, but I do know people from the mill and all the different places yeah, jess started like an outreach for job opportunities within the visual effects community okay, awesome I'll hook you guys up on linkedin.
Carmen Lezeth:I'll send you whatever if you guys I'll just do that later. Okay, so I will. I'll do it when I jump off here so you guys can connect there and figure out how to help each other.
Jimmy Matlosz :It's just Ambrose. That's it A-M-B-R-O-S-E Ambrose.
Carmen Lezeth:Or we can keep talking about it we can go.
Jimmy Matlosz :Now, we can go talking about it, we can go.
Carmen Lezeth:Now we can go. Thank you for coming on the show, jimmy. We're going to do a private lounge with you so we can get your background and post that and whatever, and we're going to do it in July. There's not going to be an excuse, you're going to do it in July. We're a year and a half in with you and your excuses, but I'm grateful that you came up today. I am.
Jimmy Matlosz :Luckily I'm not on a board of directors anymore, so I have a little more free time?
Carmen Lezeth:All right, we will do that, if you book me. I will book a job, so let's do it, because that is what seems to keep happening Every time I book you. You've got something else to do last minute, so, whatever works, I'm happy to help in any way I can. Rich, I adore you always. Thank you so much, and everyone knows I never say goodbye to Tony D, but thank you for being here and remember it is always all about the joy.
Rick Costa:Bye everyone. Smash the like button, Guys, don't off yet what did you say?
Carmen Lezeth:To like, share and whatever. Thanks for stopping by. All About the Joy. Be better and stay beautiful folks, have a sweet day.