All About The Joy

Rediscovering the Joys of Childhood and Adulthood: From Ice Cream Trucks to Forgiveness

• Carmen Lezeth Suarez • Episode 160

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What if the simple act of remembering your childhood could bring a smile to your face and warmth to your heart? Join us as we transport you back to those carefree days filled with the delightful jingle of the ice cream truck and the thrill of sledding adventures. We uncover the universal joys of youth, from the heart-pounding excitement of flashlight tag under the stars to the innocent mischief of childhood pranks. Through our laughter-filled anecdotes, you'll rediscover the magic of those simpler times and maybe even feel inspired to reach out to an old friend or cherish the beauty of a snow-filled afternoon.

Our conversation takes a heartfelt turn as we explore the deep bonds of childhood friendships and the early steps into the world of work. With stories of first jobs and the cherished perks of free meals, we reflect on how these experiences shaped our understanding of responsibility and camaraderie. As we swap tales of birthday celebrations and playful sibling rivalries, you'll find yourself smiling at the humor and warmth that comes with sharing life’s little milestones. These reflections offer a gentle reminder of how the simplicity of youth often contrasts with the complexities of adulthood, yet continues to influence our present selves.

Navigating the intricacies of personal growth, we delve into the challenges of setting boundaries with toxic family members and the liberating power of forgiveness. Our dialogue highlights the importance of surrounding oneself with a supportive chosen family, while emphasizing that forgiveness is more about personal peace than appeasing others. As we share our ongoing fitness journeys, there's a collective realization that health and body positivity can be pursued at any stage of life. With candid discussions and inspiring stories, this episode serves as a heartfelt exploration of the memories and experiences that define who we are today.

Thank you for stopping by. Please visit our website: All About The Joy and add, like and share. You can also support us by shopping at our STORE - We'd appreciate that greatly. Also, if you want to find us anywhere on social media, please check out the link in bio page.

Music By Geovane Bruno, Moments, 3481
Editing by Team A-J
Host, Carmen Lezeth


DISCLAIMER: As always, please do your own research and understand that the opinions in this podcast and livestream are meant for entertainment purposes only. States and other areas may have different rules and regulations governing certain aspects discussed in this podcast. Nothing in our podcast or livestream is meant to be medical or legal advice. Please use common sense, and when in doubt, ask a professional for advice, assistance, help and guidance.

Carmen Lezeth:

Hey everybody, welcome to All About the Joy. Hey Cynthia, how you doing? Hey, Rick, can you hear us?

Rick Costa:

Yes, you hear me.

Carmen Lezeth:

Oh yes, we can hear you now how you doing Okay, good, good.

Cynthia Ruiz:

The other day I was looking at my old planner and it was a year ago, on the 20th, when we had that mega podcast with all the guys oh yeah, with what's the name of his show collaboration late night parents late night parents.

Carmen Lezeth:

It was a year ago, so I I was watching eddie murphy's. There was just a clip, but do you remember the whole ice cream man is coming like when he talks about you could be playing with marble. I don't know who was playing with marbles, clearly he's a little bit older than all of us, but you'd be playing marbles and you would hear the ice cream, the ice cream truck, and he does the song, whatever. It was that whole thing and it started making me remember, like my favorite, like things, like moments in time when I was a kid, you know, and that was one of them I remember. But then I would get so sad because you couldn't always I don't know about you guys, I couldn't always buy something because we didn't always have money or mother said no, period, yeah I beg, sometimes I say yes, sometimes I said no yeah, it's funny at my cousin's house.

Rick Costa:

Though if we were at my cousin's because we'd go visit a lot of times, I guess, so that they didn't look bad or cheap they would always say yes, if it was at my cousin's house, oh I like when my cousin's at my cousin's, oh really, yeah, that's weird.

Carmen Lezeth:

Okay, so parents be like that.

Rick Costa:

And then I got her to say and you can't have none.

Carmen Lezeth:

And then it falls. Yeah, well, wait. The kids all sing and they say because your mother is a welfare and your father is an alcoholic. Want to lick Psych.

Cynthia Ruiz:

And then it falls.

Carmen Lezeth:

And then the little kid on welfare with the alcohol picks it up and he's like mwah, it's really great. You should just Google Eddie Murphy and ice cream truck. It doesn't matter, it'll come up. I was just thinking about that. I was just thinking about growing up and favorite moments in time. If you guys had moments like that that you remember, that were crystallized like that Ice cream.

Rick Costa:

man is definitely one for me, yeah.

Carmen Lezeth:

You grew up in Connecticut Is Ice cream man is definitely one for me, and you grew up in Connecticut Is ice cream man just an East Coast thing.

Rick Costa:

What don't I have it in California?

Carmen Lezeth:

No, I don't know. I didn't grow up here.

Rick Costa:

But you don't see them around now.

Carmen Lezeth:

I don't live with kids. It's apartments where I live. I don't know if there's a lot of kids here, but I'm sure there are. Is there still ice cream truck things where you guys grew up, where you guys live?

Rick Costa:

Yeah, I don't honestly pay attention anymore.

Carmen Lezeth:

I mean, you still hear the music. I got my motherfucking ice cream. You know what I mean. Well, what are some? I mean, do you guys have any moments that you remember that were cool? I used to like playing I think I mentioned this because we had train tracks in the back. We used to all go back there in the winter and we would go sledding down those hills. I don't know if you remember that, cynthia, but in the back, where we used to, where I grew up on Rosemary Street, there were those hills because there were all the trains the Amtrak trains that would go by there. So we'd go tobogganing or sledding down there whenever there was snow. It was kind of cool.

Cynthia Ruiz:

We used to do that over down in Jamaica Pond in that big hill.

Carmen Lezeth:

I don't remember going to Jamaica Pond and I mean, I know what you're talking about the sugar, what is?

Cynthia Ruiz:

it the sugar bowl or something? Oh yeah, the what is it?

Carmen Lezeth:

a sugar bowl or something. Oh yeah, or the sugar, I think. So something like that, like a bowl or something, but yeah, but I don't remember sledding down there.

Rick Costa:

I remember rolling in the summertime like rolling down and getting super dizzy yeah, behind my house we have a I don't know what you call it embankment. It's like a wall, but then behind it it's really steep and my parents are don't go down there, you're going to get hurt. Blah, blah, blah. Okay, okay, yeah. So yeah, we were like climbing and trying not to fall and having fun, but, speaking of snow, like building a snowman, that was always fun. Never did an igloo, though, I don't know why I never tried to do an igloo.

Carmen Lezeth:

Oh, I never built a snowman Because we lived in the hood. We lived in the hood and I don't remember the snow ever being that. I mean, I remember the snow being that thick and deep or whatever, but I don't ever remember being like a little Norman Rockwell family, Like oh, let's all get together and do this.

Rick Costa:

Oh no, our parents didn't do it, it was just me and my brother.

Carmen Lezeth:

No, I remember being pushed into snow banks Like I remember that?

Rick Costa:

Or snow angels. Did you guys do that? Snow angels yeah, we did those.

Carmen Lezeth:

Of course Snow angels were a thing. Yeah, I remember when the big the bulldozers would come in. I don't know if they're bulldozers, but they would take the plows the right, and then they would. It would just make this way. But then you would play on the embankments and I remember we would get scared because there would be all these stupid stories and I'm sure they knew and I don't want to offend anybody, but you know, like a kid died because he was, you know, in the snow bank or something or whatever, I'd be like we were just playing the other day. How could you get it stuck? But yeah, I remember that. But I hate snow. I've always hated snows, but I've had good times in snow I have a love hate.

Rick Costa:

If I'm playing in it, then I'm loving it, but yeah, but you still have snow in your life, right? Yeah, yeah, although the last few years it hasn't been as much, shockingly, but shoveling it, that's the bane of my existence. I hated shoveling it. Driving in it is what I hate that's not fun either, especially when a 15 minute drive turns into two hours yeah, yeah, oh.

Carmen Lezeth:

But see, that was the great thing is when it would snow. You would just be like, please call my school, please call me like you would hope that on the radio.

Carmen Lezeth:

They would call your school as being one of them. Remember you? Please don't let us go to school. Awesome, I used to love that. I mean, look at, I went to school in Vermont, as you guys know. I never need to see snow again and I just never need to be near the cold ever again. I just I am not into the cold and everyone, oh, but the snow looks so pretty. No, it's beautiful, but I can look at it from, I can see a postcard or you can tell me about it or I can watch it on TV.

Carmen Lezeth:

I don't ever need to be in it again. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's 63 degrees here or something and I'm like, ooh, and you're freezing.

Cynthia Ruiz:

Yeah, no.

Rick Costa:

Check my temperature now 57 for me outside.

Carmen Lezeth:

Yeah, no, Check my temperature now 57 for me outside. Anthony just said I remember making snow cream when it snowed We'd mark a certain area of the snow where we didn't walk in it or played in it. It was just for snow cream. That was the best stuff ever. I don't know what snow cream is.

Rick Costa:

You just eat, it Is that what it is?

Carmen Lezeth:

Oh, so like you make like a snow cone, so you put the snow in it and then you put some cream over it, or maybe it's. That sounds cool.

Rick Costa:

I never heard of that Snow cream. That's new for me.

Carmen Lezeth:

But maybe it's like a snow cone, maybe that's just like different parts of where you live.

Rick Costa:

That's usually what I got when the ice cream man would come Snow cone.

Carmen Lezeth:

I love that. I don't even remember what I would get, I just remember it being a thing. You know what I mean.

Cynthia Ruiz:

Like any character that was like in style at the moment. You would get what? Like a character, like they have a Spider-Man or a SpongeBob character.

Rick Costa:

Oh yeah, no.

Carmen Lezeth:

And the snow and the I am older than you In the ice cream truck. Yeah, I don't remember that. I don't think we got a lot of ice cream. I think in my head I want to believe we used to get a lot of ice cream. I don't really remember.

Cynthia Ruiz:

Or those rocket ones, the red, white and blue ones.

Rick Costa:

Oh yeah, I remember those yeah.

Carmen Lezeth:

I like white and blue. Oh yeah, I remember those. Yeah, I like those okay, snow cream was like ice cream, but it was made with snow. Okay, got it, got it. Yeah, oh, that's so cool, yeah, no, no, okay, so I I want to talk about something else. Wait, do you guys have anything else to add about your experiences that you want to share?

Cynthia Ruiz:

I used to love playing hide and seek because we used to remember how we, we used to love playing hide and seek because we used to live in this little alleyway that was like a cul-de-sac, and so there was a whole bunch of people.

Carmen Lezeth:

You did.

Cynthia Ruiz:

No, I did when. On Forbes, no after Forbes, oh see, okay, over by Meatland.

Carmen Lezeth:

I don't remember. Okay, got you After Forbes.

Cynthia Ruiz:

So there were a whole bunch of kids my age and my brother's age. All of us would get together and just play hide and seek all back there. That was really fun.

Carmen Lezeth:

Awesome, we used to play flashlight tag. Did you ever play that?

Cynthia Ruiz:

Oh no.

Carmen Lezeth:

Flashlight. So it would be at night Cause back then we would stay out at night, you would be it, but you would have it's hide and seek. But you would have to find people with the flashlight and if you tag them so like we would be like in the trees, on rooftops, under cars we'd be like because you'd have to be really hidden, because if not then you'd be it. It's kind of cool flashlight tag. I'm sure there are other people who experience it. Okay, rick, I feel like my parents.

Rick Costa:

My parents didn't really let us go out at night. Once it started getting dark, get back inside. They were super protective. Super protective and stay on our property, don't you go a centimeter off the imaginary line there. You in trouble. You got a whooping. Yeah, they were super strict A whooping. That's why I like going to my cousin's house, because then they were more loose.

Carmen Lezeth:

Again. So I just want to be clear. It wasn't that my mother wasn't strict, my mother wasn't around.

Carmen Lezeth:

I just want to be clear, like when we're talking, we're talking about you know, like I was 12, 13, whatever, but I just remember hanging out. Yeah, I want to go back, like I would never go back in time, but it was nice to just think about some of the joys of being younger and you didn't have to pay bills. Remember you didn't know that you had and we call it responsibility, but you thought your life was so hard.

Carmen Lezeth:

remember people like nobody understands, nobody gets me and you thought like it was the end of the world. But my god, you had no. You have to worry about paying bills. You'd have to worry about so many things.

Rick Costa:

Yeah, exactly so true you didn't have to worry about so many things. Yeah, exactly so true. You didn't have a job. You can't get fired from school.

Carmen Lezeth:

I worked at Little Peach when I was 12.

Rick Costa:

Okay.

Carmen Lezeth:

Cynthia, did you work?

Cynthia Ruiz:

when you were little. I didn't start work until I was 15. Yeah, yeah.

Carmen Lezeth:

I worked at Little Peach, near where I lived Remember when I I forget what the name of that, oh my God On Center Street, but near St Thomas Aquinas or whatever, near the church. Yeah, so Little Peach, because Alice used to work there. So I used to get paid to the shelves and Alice was my seventh grade teacher and I used to stock the shelves and she would give me money. But that's how I would start getting money, that's how I started working. Oh, that is so funny.

Rick Costa:

Is it a grocery store? Oh, I'm sorry.

Carmen Lezeth:

Little Peach is like a 7-Eleven it used to be, Is it still around, Cynthia?

Cynthia Ruiz:

No, now it's. Let's see, it went from Little Peach to Deskies. Now it's 7-Eleven.

Carmen Lezeth:

That's a shame, that's a shame because Little Pete's first of all has a nice little tone to it, but it was also like it felt like a local family little store.

Alma Dawson:

I don't think it was.

Carmen Lezeth:

I think it was kind of like a chain thing or something. Yeah, I started working when I was 12. What's so weird is when I see my social security, when they send you the social security thing and it sees how much you maxed out or whatever, they actually list it because I had an actual paycheck, like when I was 13 starting, because then I worked as a camp counselor, I worked at a nursing home, like I worked since I was little. I should be able to retire now and still I cannot.

Rick Costa:

I should be able to retire now and still I cannot I didn't get my first job until 17, but mostly because I was still recovering from my back surgery.

Carmen Lezeth:

Oh, I'm not an advocate for people to be working as soon as possible, kids, but I know.

Rick Costa:

We don't condone child labor here, I know, but Nathan and Juliana.

Carmen Lezeth:

They're 16. Nathan just got a job, I think, at McDonald's, and Juliana just applied for Starbucks. She's like I'm so excited to get free coffee. I'm like, okay, I don't think that's how it's going to work out, but you don't want to say anything. I'm like I don't think they're going to be giving you free coffee all the time. Say anything like I don't think they're gonna be like giving you free coffee all the time, it might give you an employee discount.

Rick Costa:

Things have changed. When I first worked in vietnam, it was my first job every you can get whatever you want and I was like this is awesome. And I did, I trust the idea. But then, little by little, they started to restrict it and then until it finally came to one sandwich, one fry, one small soda, small fry. Small soda, small fry small soda Right. Right.

Carmen Lezeth:

Well, because I think it takes up from your bottom line. You know what I mean. It takes away from your. I'm not trying to be all business or whatever, but it's just. I'm sure that she was just excited about the free coffee and I'm like, if you mean by free, that you'll pay for it out of your new paycheck, your first paycheck you're getting. That's going to work, okay. So a few things have happened that I'm excited about. It's 80 days before my birthday and, rick, I don't want to talk about your birthday. We're going to talk about my birthday on the 12th. Okay, I don't care when your birthday is, because only mine matters. Okay, it's 80 days. Rick's birthday is what? The fifth, the third, the second?

Rick Costa:

I knew it was so close I thought we were on prices right for a second higher, higher, lower wait.

Carmen Lezeth:

You know what's even better is. I don't even know what cynthia's is like. I don't care about anyone else's birthday wow, I know, I know.

Cynthia Ruiz:

Do you even know what month?

Carmen Lezeth:

You don't know when my birthday is, oh my God, january 12th. I just said that, though that doesn't count.

Cynthia Ruiz:

I always send you a card. I'm still waiting for my card.

Carmen Lezeth:

Okay, look it. There are a lot of things that are great about me, but the things that suck about me I am honest about. I don't care about anyone else's birthday but my own. I don't care, I don't care, I don't care.

Cynthia Ruiz:

I have my daughter. She's really not a bitch.

Carmen Lezeth:

I'm really not a bitch, but I don't know. I really love my birthday, my birthday. I'm really not a bitch, but I don't know. I really love my birthday, my birthday. It's not about me, it's my holiday and you know what? It didn't get celebrated when I was a kid. So I have taken ownership of that personal holiday and I wish everyone would do that. I wish everybody would be excited about their birthdays and do something amazing and great and fabulous. But yeah, and I also have just never had the best memory.

Rick Costa:

So I do know my goddaughter's birthday, but other than that you never had any kind of birthday party when you were little.

Carmen Lezeth:

You don't remember. I do not remember celebrating my birthday like a party, like they do now. Hail to them.

Rick Costa:

No, not like now, not even now.

Carmen Lezeth:

I don't remember my mother celebrating my birthday, but I don't remember a lot about my mother, so that's not cool. But I don't even remember later on celebrating my birthday, because who was going to celebrate it with me? Cynthia, do you remember the big party you came to for my birthday? I know I know there was one, right, anthony just said my first job was at Wendy's Hamburgers when I was 17. I couldn't eat there for about three years. That's a good point. That's a great point. Here's the thing too, Rick.

Carmen Lezeth:

I'll just say this not to get sad or anything, but the reason why I love my birthday is I remember begging God to just let me live through whatever drama I thought I was going through and be like, please, god, if you let me make it to my next birthday, I promise I'll do A, b, c and D, like I would do these betting things with God. You know what I mean. And I just remember getting to the following year and being like, oh my God, I made it another year. So for me and in a way it was a cool thing, because I love getting to my birthday, because it means I made it another year, not in a tragic way now, but oh my God, yes, and I think when I outlived my mom, that's when I realized okay, now I'm on my own. That's all I wanted was to live longer than my mom did.

Carmen Lezeth:

You know what I mean? Her age, which was 49, everyone. So clearly I'm over 49. Barely yeah, well, no, no, no. But I mean she was 49. She was so young when she died, really, and then I remember being like I know I might die when I'm 49. I remember having these conversations with God as a kid. So I think that's why I'm so obsessed with my birthday. Go ahead, cynthia.

Cynthia Ruiz:

I was just going to say it's amazing because I think the exact same way, because my mom died at 45, two months before she turned 46. And I'll be 46 in March. So I just keep thinking about that, like even when my siblings were passing 46, I was like, okay, they all made it, now it's my turn.

Carmen Lezeth:

It's weird that we put that arbitrary, weird thing. But God, I didn't realize your mom was so young, hi.

Alma Dawson:

Alma.

Carmen Lezeth:

Wow. So my feelings won't be hurt when I don't hear from you. Look, if I have it on my calendar and I'm not sure if I have yours in my calendar, but if I have it on my calendar, I do my best. I get little pop-ups. Yeah, I'm, I don't know. Here's the other thing too. I remember like I would say happy birthday to people and they'd be like oh yeah, thank you.

Carmen Lezeth:

I would say happy birthday to people and they'd be like, oh yeah, thank you, don't ask me. It'd be like what the fuck? That's depressing, you know what I mean. People get so weird about it. Okay, but let me tell you why it's so important.

Carmen Lezeth:

November 1st is 80 days to my birthday, january 12th. I need to ask you guys to help me with my fitness challenge. I'm going to meet with you guys every week. As I do it, I want to give you my update on my fitness challenge because I am tired of not being fit again. Is that okay? If I do that with you guys? Yeah, okay, I would encourage anybody who's listening who may want to participate in this.

Carmen Lezeth:

There's not going to be any rules. You don't have to check in or whatever, but just do something more than what you're doing now every day. So here's one thing I implemented this past week no, on last Friday is every day at five o'clock, I have to already be ready to eat dinner and then, after dinner, walk around the block, which is about 15 minutes here it's not, it's a 15 minute walk after dinner, and I was like, oh my God, like that's that has changed so much for me just by doing that. Alma just said I celebrate the whole month of February. I love celebrating, so you know what I used to do. That too, when my friends actually lived near me but they conveniently all moved. I used to go out every single day with one of my friends, whether it be lunch or dinner or whatever. And now none of them live near me, which says something oh did I not see you, mario? Wait a minute, I can't get you here. Mario's here. Have you been waiting this whole time?

Rick Costa:

No.

Carmen Lezeth:

Oh, you just came on, Okay cool. How are you doing?

Maurio Dawson :

Good, how are you?

Carmen Lezeth:

Good, you look great.

Maurio Dawson :

Thank you, I miss you. I miss you, we miss you. I miss y'all. Too Good to see everyone. Finally, you as well, okay.

Alma Dawson:

I'm here too, I'm just not camera ready.

Rick Costa:

Oh, my mama.

Alma Dawson:

My mama.

Carmen Lezeth:

Hey, so tell us about your favorite childhood memory. Do you got one? Do you got one?

Maurio Dawson :

Who me or Alma?

Carmen Lezeth:

Both of you.

Maurio Dawson :

Oh, good or bad, my favorite one was beating up a bully.

Carmen Lezeth:

Oh, I like that Really.

Maurio Dawson :

Were they bullying?

Carmen Lezeth:

you or somebody else?

Maurio Dawson :

They were trying to bully me and he was. I won't say his name, but he used to try to beat me up and down the street. And so finally he wanted to fight me in front of my house and my mom told me. She said, if you let that boy beat you up in front of your house, she said I'm a whoop yo. And so then I got the strength of Superman, I got a wood plank off the fence, I swung it and knocked him out, and then I chased him down the fence. I swung it and knocked him out, and then I chased him down the street, and then I continued to whoop him in front of his house. I remember his mama coming out, Leave my baby alone. I said he was messing with me first. So yeah, that was the first thing that came to my mind.

Cynthia Ruiz:

Oh that's a good one.

Maurio Dawson :

I believe it.

Carmen Lezeth:

So, it's wrong, but it's good.

Maurio Dawson :

It was, as the kids say, I was standing on business.

Rick Costa:

Who did Alma beat up?

Maurio Dawson :

She used to beat up her brother all the time.

Alma Dawson:

Actually, my brother used to get bullied a lot. I was like the enforcer. He would wait for me, I would go to recess before him. Then I would leave and say I need to go to the restroom. Then I would go find him and he'd tell me who was bothering him. Then I would go beat those kids up and then go back to class.

Maurio Dawson :

Yeah, I beat up many a kid back to class. Yeah, you know what's funny.

Alma Dawson:

I beat up many a kid after school in the backyard. You have a back area always at the school. Yeah, I beat plenty of kids up.

Carmen Lezeth:

Alma was the bully. Is that what I'm?

Maurio Dawson :

hearing she was the enforcer.

Alma Dawson:

I wouldn't seek it out. But if they were bothering my brother, I was like, well you know, my job was to take care of him because I was older. No, no, no, you bullied your brother, stop telling stories. Oh, I'm not mad at him for bullying him.

Maurio Dawson :

You put him inside the giant football. It was back in the day that the football the little tykes.

Alma Dawson:

Remember those little tykes footballs that used to be a little, it was a toy chest.

Maurio Dawson :

And so you'd have to top off the football and you could put all your toys inside, because I had one. She used to put her brother inside the.

Alma Dawson:

Take the toys out, put him in, sit on top of it and then roll it.

Maurio Dawson :

She was awful.

Carmen Lezeth:

Mom, mom, I remember your birthday, I promise when. Is it February 1? I remember her birthday, I promise when is it February 1?.

Maurio Dawson :

And then I just found out a story she told her mom when we were there. Every time he was scared of earthquakes, so she would wake up in the middle of the night and shake his bed and he would jump up and run out the house.

Cynthia Ruiz:

Wow, damn.

Alma Dawson:

Well, that's just that would be my way of getting him back because you know he got bigger than me. So then he would hit me and it would hurt. So I had to get creative. So now are you guys close.

Maurio Dawson :

No, nope.

Alma Dawson:

Oh no, it's okay, I'm okay, I've made. It's okay, I'm okay, I've made my peace with it.

Maurio Dawson :

Yeah.

Alma Dawson:

I have, I believe in as I've gotten older. It's one of those things where you're Just because they're family doesn't mean that you have to keep accepting their toxic behavior. So I pray for them, I love them, but I can't keep subjecting myself to that behavior because I have to take care of my own health. So, you know, I just make sure that I have my parents are taken care of, that my family is taken care of, and I have a lot of chosen family who also chooses me, and that's the best thing.

Maurio Dawson :

That's the best thing so chosen family is actually the best family, yeah chosen family is yeah, because you choose each other facade of what family is anyways, and I look at I'm the wrong person to talk to because I have never believed.

Carmen Lezeth:

I know cynthia's like please let's not talk about this but I have never believed in DNA.

Alma Dawson:

I don't care if we grew up together and you know what you know what the Hispanic or Latin culture is very toxic in that way where it's like, oh, but that's your, that's your mom, or that's your dad, or that's your tia, that's your cousin, that's your mom, or that's your dad, or that's your tia, that's your cousin, that's your family. You have to forgive them and it's yes, I do, I do, and you know what the Bible says yes, I do have to forgive them, but I don't have to keep being in their presence. Yeah, true.

Maurio Dawson :

So she's talking right Right.

Alma Dawson:

So the forgiveness is there, because the forgiveness is for me, nothing. It's like me continuing to drink poison and expecting something to happen to them that's not going to happen. Okay.

Carmen Lezeth:

So here's my thing, just because, for people who are not biblical or religious or whatever, like myself, I went to 12 years of Catholic school, so I get it my thing about. Some of these things about forgiveness are things that we keep hearing over and over again, and it really is hard sometimes to just let it go and forgive. And it's for me, I'm fine, I'm happy for them. But forgiveness to me is I'm going to forgive you, I'm going to let you say sorry to me and I'm going to let you back into my life. To me, that's what real forgiveness is, and I will not do that.

Carmen Lezeth:

Those people are toxic. Do I wish them well? Do I think the best of them? Do I want them to have a wonderful, beautiful life? Of course, but I told them I am a better person without any of you in my life than when I'm by myself. So I need to walk away from this. We have tried this. It is not working. I don't care if my mother in her grave is upset about it. I have to move on and it's the best thing I've ever done for myself and for them, but I have not forgiven them for what happened to me. I know in my heart.

Carmen Lezeth:

I'm not angry with them about it, but forgiveness to me, for me not biblical or whatever for me the true definition of forgiveness is allowing, like actually accepting a sorry, and allowing people forgive them and let them go right. You know what I mean? It isn't this weird thing where it's like, oh no, but they're great and what? No, I just have nothing to do with them, I just have nothing to do with them.

Maurio Dawson :

I just have nothing. You know I disagree. I hear what you're saying, but I think my definition is a little bit different than yours, only because it's not even religious or a religious feeling. What it is for me is boundaries, and the thing is you can love someone from afar. That does not mean they have to be directly in your life, because for me, I came up with a lot of abuse and trauma within my family from a person. Now I've come to the point to realize that the damage they were putting on me was not because of me. It was because of their own damage.

Carmen Lezeth:

But it took me a while to understand that. So now I'm how can you love people who hurt you?

Maurio Dawson :

I love them in a sense of I want no harm for them. I want them to find their own joy and their own peace and their own happiness, but you don't have to do it around me.

Carmen Lezeth:

But don't you want that for most people?

Maurio Dawson :

I want that for every person, but that doesn't mean I have to have them in my life.

Carmen Lezeth:

So for me, I do not love people who put me in harm's way and made my life more difficult.

Cynthia Ruiz:

I don't hate them.

Carmen Lezeth:

I don't wish them ill will, but for me this thing about so this is the problem with the whole definition of family. Family means you must love people. You know what I mean? No, it doesn't.

Maurio Dawson :

That's not true. I don't have to love you, I don't have to love you. I disagree with that. I mean family has-.

Carmen Lezeth:

You can disagree with it, but that's what we do when we say family.

Maurio Dawson :

No, no. Family has many definitions, because that's what we say. We have our chosen family and we have our DNA family, because chosen family can be anyone. Chosen family could be you, it could be Cynthia, it could be Rick. Chosen family are people we choose to have close to us in our lives and be friends, and that's a form of family. That's just like when Marissa sees some of my best friends and she says Auntie Sonzo, orso, it's because they've had more of an active relationship in their life, in her life, than actual blood family.

Carmen Lezeth:

And you're preaching to the choir. I got you Right.

Maurio Dawson :

But what I'm just saying is for me, forgiveness is forgiveness. You can be over there and I wish you well and I don't have any hate for you. So hate for me because I can hold on to stuff like that. So for me, because I can hold on to stuff like that, so for me to release it and let you go, that means I've actually forgiven you in some on some shape or form.

Carmen Lezeth:

I think we just have a different definition of forgiveness and love, yeah, completely Melanie said you can forgive someone and still not have anything to do with them. Yeah, and I think the qualifier and Cynthia and Rick, I'm going to let you guys talk I think the qualifier here for me is what I get upset about is all of these life coaches and gurus. We have so many sayings that we just accept but we do not understand them for ourselves and it just creates more pain for people. For example, what does it actually mean to just let it go? What does it actually mean, like letting it go is not an easy thing to do. No, Let what go, let what go.

Maurio Dawson :

Let your pain go, let your pain in that situation go.

Carmen Lezeth:

But is that, but is it? There is no pain for me in that situation.

Maurio Dawson :

Then you let it go.

Carmen Lezeth:

But this is what I'm trying to say, Mariel when we tell sayings to each other, when we just use these verbiages that people throw out there all the time, we don't have any action plans to what that actually means, and so it makes people think that they're doing something when they're not, and they're still holding pain.

Maurio Dawson :

No, I get that.

Carmen Lezeth:

My mother's other children, who are not in my book, are not in my life. I don't talk to their children whatever. I don't have any ill will to them, but I knew that what we were trying to do was not working. And I'm in the same boat with you After everything had happened and I finally found my way to college and moved to California. There was trying to be this reconciliation and we tried it and I was like you know what, Can't do it.

Maurio Dawson :

Hello, you and I are the same. Pick me. Pick me Because I have two siblings that I did not grow up with, I did not talk to. They tried to have a relationship with me. It did not work and I'm fine with you being over there because we never. We didn't grow up together. We did live completely different lifestyles and, without saying too much, it just didn't work. So therefore, I leave you over there. I wish you well. I have a sibling who was telling a friend that they were upset that they never met their niece that's on purpose, because you're not serving a purpose in her life.

Maurio Dawson :

So so no, sorry there you go.

Carmen Lezeth:

Melanie just said forgiveness is more for your peace. Again, melanie, I don't disagree, but I think it's also one of those things we keep telling ourselves but we don't actually. I have a lot of people say they have forgiven people and they have so much resentment in their heart. Yeah, that's, true you have to really understand what forgiveness means for you. What is the action plan in your system, in your body, in your being that actually means you've actually forgiven someone? I think for me. I'm sorry Cynthia and Rick speak because we're Go ahead.

Alma Dawson:

Go ahead, go ahead, go ahead. I think, for I don't. I think one of the things also that is a misconception is that forgiven forgiveness is just like instantaneous, and it is definitely a process and like when I say I've forgiven someone, I literally forgive some of the same people every single day, because sometimes something will come up that will trigger a memory or a feeling and I actively have to say, lord, help me to forgive them. So it's a it's, it's really is an action word forgiveness, and it's something that you do have to work on. So I totally understand what you're saying, carmen. Like we say we have these things and we have these things, that we say these one-liners for forgiveness. But it truly is a process and it is them. Or you see a picture, or you hear something that happened to them, or that someone saw them, and then immediately some of those things will crop up again and so you have to start the process of forgiveness all over again.

Carmen Lezeth:

And you'll know it's done when it doesn't affect you at all. Exactly, exactly.

Alma Dawson:

That's when you truly know it's okay, I'm done. If I see them tomorrow, I can be cordial and be like hey, but I'm not loving them back in my life.

Rick Costa:

Last time we talked about this, last time we talked about this, I think I said the same thing. Are you forgiving them when you could be in the same room with them and not get anxious and freak out?

Carmen Lezeth:

Yep, and I probably will never be in the same room with them, but I had a funeral. I was and cynthia remembers that we talked about that I had. I went to a funeral and they all showed up and cynthia noticed my whole walk change.

Cynthia Ruiz:

I was walking down the aisle all like badass and he was strutting down the aisle. The minute they walked in it was like she was stopped right there and it was like she just stopped right there.

Carmen Lezeth:

It was like the whole group at one time and I was just in my feels because of that. It was my soma, I remember. Go ahead, cynthia. What's?

Cynthia Ruiz:

your take on it. I think it is different for everyone. Everyone does translate forgiveness differently. Carmen, you definitely have your own way of dealing with things, but for the most part I think everybody kind of sees forgiveness as what Melanie said and what Alma said. You know, it's kind of it's for you, it's your healing. It's not necessarily like for the other person. You wish them well, you can love them from afar, they don't have to be in your life but it's more of your healing, rick yeah, and what I'm saying too.

Rick Costa:

You know that it's a process. It's not a light switch like it's a process. It takes a while, like when I was trying to forgive my dad. It wasn't days, weeks, months, it was years, um, before I could feel okay with him around me because he just did horrible things to me. So I was like, wow, and you can't, you know, and we've talked about this too before there's no forgetting that stupid thing. Forgive and forget. You can't forget, you can't scrub your brain from a memory. It's there. You know what happened to you.

Carmen Lezeth:

If you can just I don't know just be. I feel like if you keep holding that on, you're just it's being toxic to your soul, kind of it could be. But this is again, I'm just going to. I'm not trying to be devil's advocate, I just it is the things that bother me so much that I know right me so much that I know right. It's mostly these life coaches, people who are making thousands and thousands of dollars doing these speeches and they're all saying the same crap over and over again and it doesn't help anyone, of course. They're selling millions of books and doing all these things and it's so.

Carmen Lezeth:

I like this whole thing about forgiveness is for you, it's not for them. Okay, to me that's two different kinds of forgiveness. You always have to be able to say to yourself okay, these people did this to me or I reacted this way to these people. I did the best I could with what I had in front of me. I forgive myself for whatever mistake I made. That still has nothing to do with the relationship you had with those other people, and all I'm asking. All I'm asking is to think about that, because I think that's a lot of the trauma. It makes it hard for people to walk away from people. People always ask me why is it so easy easy, I'm doing quotes for me to walk away from people, to tell people you're a fucking asshole, I'm out of your life, I'm done. And the reason why is because, in my experience, it does nothing for me to see what I see in front of me, not make an evaluation and not protect myself immediately. I've been doing this for too long.

Maurio Dawson :

Go ahead, mario you don't have to raise your motherfucking hand, bitch. No, I was saying that was me, because I do the same thing. I have a limit and then once I hit that limit or hit that wall, you're done. It's no more conversations, it's no, we can't come back from this. No, I'm done. I'm radio silent. Miss me, block me. You're blocked, you're blessed, move on. Oh, blessed.

Alma Dawson:

I love that and I'm the opposite oh.

Maurio Dawson :

And I'm the opposite.

Carmen Lezeth:

What does that mean I?

Alma Dawson:

try to believe that people are inherently good and that they don't mean to harm me, and so I continue to lead with love. But then, like I said, as I've gotten older, maybe I don't go back 10 times, maybe I just go back two times and then I'm done.

Carmen Lezeth:

But I think everybody has a different style. And look at, I told Rick before and I think I've talked to Cynthia about it. I think, rick, you and I had this conversation recently. I'm not saying my way is the right way and I think one of the bad parts about me is I cut off people real quick. You don't really get second and third chances. You know what I mean. Like after you're third out with me, I'm done. And it's a really quick shut off switch. You know what I mean. It's like a light switch it just turns off and I'm cold and mean and I have had people Alden.

Alma Dawson:

I live with someone like you.

Carmen Lezeth:

So people will. I've had people who've been like Carmen, we have to have a conversation. I just said Alden's name because he did this recently. We're going to talk, I'm like, we're going to talk, I don't care, but I'm mad at you. But he went that extra mile to make sure we had this conversation so we could try to keep our relationship, because he knew I was pissed and I was done, still mad at him, but I love him, so he gonna be back in.

Carmen Lezeth:

But I think it also depends on who we're talking about. So when I love like if Cynthia fucked me over and got me pissed off, she gets a lot more leeway than, let's say, rick no, I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding, but I think that's also part of it too. Like but I think that's also part of it too. Like, every relationship is very different and intricate and there are nuances to everything. So you have to take it. But I'm just tired of people saying verbiage, all these lines we've grown up with let go and let God. That's a very AA thing. I grew up in AA and as much as I, that was my mantra. Girl, I'm just going to let it go and let God. And I'd be like God, where are'm just gonna let it go? And let god, and I'd be like god, where are you? I let this go. You didn't fix it. It's so annoying and all of these things would get me mad because at some point they just become verbiage as opposed to what do they really mean to me?

Cynthia Ruiz:

what does it?

Carmen Lezeth:

mean to let something go or to for.

Rick Costa:

I think a distinction too with you specifically, Carmen, is when you cut people off, the purpose is because I want to punish you. No, the purpose is I'm protecting me.

Carmen Lezeth:

Oh, thank you, yes.

Maurio Dawson :

That's true.

Carmen Lezeth:

Say that again for the people in the back. Go ahead, Rick.

Rick Costa:

For the people on the short bus. Yes, I'm not trying to punish you. I'm protecting me, and that's how I am it's truly true.

Carmen Lezeth:

I've never even thought about that, but that is. I am never. If anything, I just think we're not a mix. I'm letting you go because I know this is not working, and the other thing I do that a lot of people don't do and I'm not telling anyone to do this is I let you know exactly why I'm letting you go. You're not going to be confused. I don't just stop talking to you. You will know why it is over. You know what I mean.

Cynthia Ruiz:

You will never have to wonder.

Carmen Lezeth:

You'll never have to wonder. You may not like it, you may not agree, it doesn't matter, but it really is about protecting my space. Thank you, for sharing.

Maurio Dawson :

Yeah for sure. Yeah, I had someone who was on our lives for a long time and they decided they wanted to lie and manipulate a situation. So finally I had enough and I just said, okay, I'm done. And I told them in those words I said I'm done. And then they wanted to come back and expound and give me this long soliloquy about how they're feeling. I said you know what? I'm glad you do, you feel better, I'm glad you were able to express and get everything you need out. You take care, and that's all I said. And I said you take care. And then after that, I blocked them. And then, so you know, their friends, you know, still associate with my mom. And so my mom said, well, you know so-and-so, said you know they cut people off, but the one person they've always regretted, you know, having a relationship with is you. I said yeah, that's their loss, not mine. I said I'm okay. And she was like you really are okay. I said I'm okay, I'm like I really am. Boundaries are important to me. Hey, I'm like.

Carmen Lezeth:

I really am. Boundaries are important to me. It's also because you have a lot of self-esteem and you know that you are okay because you have other friends or you have other people to go to, or you have Alma or you have. You know what I mean. Like you know.

Cynthia Ruiz:

I'm good.

Carmen Lezeth:

That takes a big part of it too, because not everyone is like you and me where we are. I'd rather be by myself on my couch watching a rerun of Stargate SG-1 than hanging out with other people.

Maurio Dawson :

I can't stand. You know what I mean?

Alma Dawson:

or watch 9-1-1 so the one thing with Mario that I have to say that I really admire about him is that he's very I think the word I want to use is like very honorable. Even I'm looking weird.

Maurio Dawson :

No, I appreciate that no, and he really leads with that, with his friendships.

Alma Dawson:

So when he feels wronged or he feels like something wasn't done correctly, he will try to address it in a way that is respectful and in a way where everyone can be heard. But then, when the other party doesn't take, I'll say, responsibility for their part in whatever the situation was, that's when he gets his backup and that's when everything starts going downhill.

Maurio Dawson :

Yeah, Cause I'm like let's take accountability.

Alma Dawson:

That's the word I wanted to to use. Take accountability, I'll take accountability for my part for whatever I did that maybe led you to believe that you could do this to me or say this about me or whatever. Now that I'm bringing it to your attention, take accountability for it and then we can salvage what we need to salvage and move on. But when that doesn't happen, then he's okay. I heard what you had to say, I said what I needed to say, we're done and I'm all for this is why I'm saying this again.

Carmen Lezeth:

This is my thing If I forgive someone. So let's say, we have that same person in front of me and I'm hearing them out and I'm going to, I am going to forgive them. For me, forgiveness means I can allow that person back in, even if it's not the same level, but I'm not going to be like banishing them forever. You know what I mean. So that's what I mean Like. Forgiveness to me is an ability to hear someone say they're sorry or hear someone take accountability I love that word for whatever they did, people who hurt whoever me or a child or whatever the trauma is to me. This again is my perspective. I don't have to forgive them. That's between them and their God and whatever they believe in God don't have to forgive them. I just need toxicity to be at bay to the best of my ability all the time.

Carmen Lezeth:

So, forgiveness is not my thing to give them. I didn't do nothing. I was a child. I don't need to forgive myself. I'm not mocking anybody else. I'm just saying I've really thought about this so much in my just living because you know you want to always be doing self-analysis and I think what I'm just want to stress to everyone, the reason why we're talking about this, is I want people to really start thinking about some of the kind of quotes we say to ourselves, the isms we repeat to ourselves, and really think them through, because I think it really helps if you know what it means to you to let it go or to forgive or whatever the verbiage words are that we use on a deal. What?

Maurio Dawson :

she said choose joy.

Carmen Lezeth:

Choose joy. Oh, go ahead. All right, I do want to wait. Does anybody else want to say anything on this?

Rick Costa:

Yeah, real quick. One thing that's baffled me is, let's say, you had a huge blowout with somebody and both of you are like you know what? I ain't talking to you again, that's it, just you know. God bless you, bye-bye, see you. That's it, just you know. God bless you, bye-bye, see ya. And then, a couple months later, they hit you up like nothing happened. I'm like oh, no, no, no did we forget what we said before? What do you mean? Come up to me like nothing happened I.

Carmen Lezeth:

I think something that's interesting and also it's happened with you not me and you, but I know some of the things you and I have struggled with, especially from haps days or whatever is this idea that people have all this revenge stuff so you cut people out of your life and then they're like revengeful about it and it's like baby, I thought you didn't like me. I thought you said you hated me. I thought you. You know what I mean. Like I thought you agreed, I thought we agreed. You know what I mean. Like why are you stalker qualities there? You go stalker qualities for sure, random, right, but it's because you know why they're doing it right, because they do care about you, they do miss you, they are very jealous of you, they want what they.

Rick Costa:

They didn't respect what they had before and now they know it's gone yeah, yep, exactly Miss the good times which now they're not going to get back.

Maurio Dawson :

That's exactly where I was talking about that one friend. I was telling you about that I cut off. They still talk to my mom. That's the exact same thing. He realizes now the quality of friend that I've always been. Because one thing I am true to my friends and I stand ten toes for all of my friends. If you need me, if I can do it, I'm gonna show up. If you need a shoulder to cry on, I'm there. If you want to call me and vent about something, I'm gonna pick up the phone. If I, if it's within my means, I'm that friend, I'm going to show up for you. If your kids are doing something and you need some support, call me, I'm there. I'm going to show up for you. If your kids are doing something and you need some support, call me, I'm there, I'm that friend. So when you shit on me then I'm just like okay, thank you, I'm good. God bless you.

Carmen Lezeth:

But that's the quality person that you are and that's what I meant by self-esteem before. It might not be the best word, but you don't need people who are crappy in your life, like none of us do. But so many people keep toxic people in their lives because they're afraid of not having people in their life. Right, afraid of not having people in their life. Right, you're a quality person, so you turn around and you're like I know my value yes, yes and then people call you every name in the book.

Carmen Lezeth:

That's how you know you're doing good, because they start calling you names and whatever. You know what I mean. It's okay, I don't know what wrote. I don't have the other chat up, so I'm just seeing. Can you guys see what he wrote on Facebook?

Rick Costa:

It takes a while. I discovered this. It takes a while. The only way you can see it quicker is if you actually put it on the screen and for some reason, it shows up there. It's the weirdest thing. It'll eventually pop up.

Carmen Lezeth:

I have to put the other right there.

Rick Costa:

See, there it is.

Carmen Lezeth:

Okay, cool, okay, we see it now.

Rick Costa:

Cool, I got you Do you think this statement is true. I love and respect myself too much to allow you to treat me like crap, mm-hmm.

Carmen Lezeth:

Sure Sure.

Maurio Dawson :

She's like sure, she's like sure.

Carmen Lezeth:

Well, because it's not the most eloquently written thing. It's not, it's fine. What do you want me to say?

Maurio Dawson :

You're supposed to say that's wonderful, that's deep, that's smooth.

Carmen Lezeth:

Where are you reading this from? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be rude.

Rick Costa:

No, I didn't read it, I just said it.

Carmen Lezeth:

Oh man, I'm sorry.

Maurio Dawson :

He tried to spit knowledge and you just meh.

Carmen Lezeth:

It's over. I put a boundary up, you're done.

Maurio Dawson :

It's a wrap.

Carmen Lezeth:

I thought he was reading something. Charlie, never take any shit from anyone, see, he just translated it Pretty much I still feel like I was a guy in a living color.

Rick Costa:

We need to philosophize.

Carmen Lezeth:

Circumstantial evidence Is that King and Ivory Wayans, or it's one of the wayans?

Rick Costa:

Yes, one of the wayans, yeah.

Carmen Lezeth:

Yeah, look, I just think. I think, especially now there's been this statistics Andrea and I were talking about it the other day where as we get older, we have less friends in our lives. We have less people. So when you're younger, you have all these friends. I guess, hi, but I think I forgot what I was saying because I was into seeing Charlie's face. I forgot what I was saying. I'm going to have to rewind.

Rick Costa:

Philosophize in the circumstance.

Maurio Dawson :

And the testify of the justify of the principalities of the situation.

Carmen Lezeth:

Okay, okay, I'll just start over. Here's what I think. I think you have to feel comfortable that when you let people go because this is why people keep toxic people in their lives because they're afraid of losing friends or not having enough people around but if you trust that, if you leave people alone, you're opening up an avenue for other people to come in. If you're spending all your time screaming and yelling or being upset or obsessing about someone, that's toxicity. That's toxicity and you're spending all this energy.

Carmen Lezeth:

But once but once, and that's how I knew it was a cool trick, not trick. But I realized when I started letting go of people, especially when I was dancing, people who were just cruel and mean to me because I was the only black latina, I was only. You know, whatever it is, I was poor, did whatever it is right, whatever names I was called, whatever. When I started realizing fuck them, they're just jealous because I'm like the best one here, whatever I was, like, I'm alone, I'm gonna be by myself, whatever. I just started doing all this ego, self-esteem stuff for myself as a kid.

Carmen Lezeth:

All of a sudden, other people walked in you know what I mean from other places and walked in and I was like, ah, that's the trick let bad stuff out so that there's an avenue for other stuff to come in.

Maurio Dawson :

Yeah, for sure.

Carmen Lezeth:

So can I get back to my fitness thing before we were interrupted by my friend Mario and Alma visiting. I appreciate you being here. I really do. I'm so glad that you're here. You look good.

Maurio Dawson :

I look good, I really do. I'm so glad that you're here. You look good, I look good, I look fly, catch my swag.

Carmen Lezeth:

Okay, November 1st, 80 days till January 12th I'm doing a fitness challenge and all I'm challenging people to do is to do something different or more than what you're doing now to get back on track. So, for example, I only like just normal walking. I do 5,000 steps, that's it Just normal going to work, coming back, whatever, but I'm up that to 10,000 steps. That's a big jump what?

Maurio Dawson :

That's a big jump. It's really not, you want to ease it to eight and then get to 10?.

Carmen Lezeth:

Would you Just support me? That's the goal. Why are you lowering the standard? No, I used to walk. I never even cared about my steps because I was walking and running and whatever. Now I'm all struggling to be on the bike. Oh, I do two weights and I'm dying.

Alma Dawson:

No, uh-uh.

Carmen Lezeth:

I need to be cute on my birthday. That's what I'm saying.

Maurio Dawson :

I need to be snatched.

Carmen Lezeth:

I need to be snatched, snatched.

Cynthia Ruiz:

I don't think that got going anywhere what we have to bling out your little wristband there.

Carmen Lezeth:

You know what so sad though. So the good news is.

Alma Dawson:

What? What happened? I missed that.

Rick Costa:

Oh, she don't know what happened.

Carmen Lezeth:

So like a year ago so for the audio we're talking about my wrist again. So a year ago I hit the back of my hand on the corner of a desk at Thanksgiving, anything about it I didn't think it reminded me of like stubbing your toe, you know. I mean, it was just so painful. I was walking by and it just happened to grab and it was painful as all hail. But I didn't think of it by January. I was like do I have carpal tunnel? Did I break the bones? What I just didn't, because I didn't really remember what had happened. It was just so painful. So a couple months later I finally went and saw a surgeon and I did not break the bones, but there is a tear in the muscle. I have a cyst on the top of it. There's a big bump over here, so I don't need surgery.

Carmen Lezeth:

Knock on wood but we're being very aggressive about everything and this is just more of an athletic thing to move around. But I have a really hard one and I wear it at night and stuff to stop bending it because we use our hands all the time.

Maurio Dawson :

It's giving Apollonia 6 pepper ring.

Carmen Lezeth:

That's what's happening, yeah, but you need to change the story though Apollonia 6. That's what's happening yeah.

Alma Dawson:

But you need to change the story though. What you need to change the story? Oh, you want me to change the story. I needed to say you socked somebody.

Cynthia Ruiz:

Right.

Alma Dawson:

You should have done something a little more. You know you socked them and then that's why you're hurt, hurt. So now you're recovering.

Carmen Lezeth:

I beat the fuck out of them in front of somebody else, exactly.

Alma Dawson:

Yeah, not just because you're getting old and you didn't heal right.

Carmen Lezeth:

I'm sorry. It is that I think it's just getting old. No, I did whack it. I did think it was arthritis, though that was like I didn't know what I had done. But here's the thing. Moral of the story If you ever hurt any part of your body and you think it's okay, you should still ice it immediately. You should do things to keep the swelling down or whatever, because that's what happened with your hand. You use your hands all the time. I clearly speak all the time, but I also drive with my left hand. I never knew that. If you had asked me, Carmen, for a million dollars, do you drive with your left hand or your right hand? I would be like my right hand, of course, you know what I mean, but it's my left hand that I drive with. So that's been really difficult to kind of change.

Maurio Dawson :

And yeah, so your fitness goals?

Carmen Lezeth:

Fitness goals. Okay, so I want to. I'm not going to.

Cynthia Ruiz:

I don't want to put.

Carmen Lezeth:

I want to be able to run three miles by my birthday. Okay, I mean jog, Cause I don't think I can run ever again. That's what I want. I want to be able to do 10 pushups. I'm not sure I'll be, cause I used to be able to do 20, but not great. But if I could do 10, that'd be great. But with my wrist I'm not sure that's even going to be a possibility because I can't. I can't even. I just want to get back to that place where I feel really good about myself, and so working out every day for me is a must. But I got up the walking and I'm going to do better about jogging. And, of course, if my surgeon is listening, I don't mean running, I mean because he said no running, running. So spin bike, spin bike. That's what I mean. Spin bike, Right.

Cynthia Ruiz:

There, you go.

Carmen Lezeth:

Yeah, I'm going to give you guys an update every week, cause I want this to be, and you guys have to ask me, just to be like why did you do it, didn't you do?

Maurio Dawson :

if you don't mind, do you guys mind that.

Carmen Lezeth:

Sure, okay, cynthia, you've been on a fitness kick lately, but you're not telling nobody. Okay, I didn't mean to out you. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to stop me now I'm sorry, are you mad? You inspired me. Okay, I'm okay. I'm sorry, cynthia, a little bit of a fitness thing?

Cynthia Ruiz:

yes, right now.

Carmen Lezeth:

Will you forgive me, or is it over between us? Now You're cut off, rick. What about you? You were in a fitness kick for a while there.

Rick Costa:

Lost 40 pounds in three months, yeah, and all I did was walk 10,000 steps a day and just cut out all the junk.

Carmen Lezeth:

I have a message in me. This has been a year.

Maurio Dawson :

Shady boots, just shady Shady.

Alma Dawson:

Rick, I'm very proud of you. I'm very proud of you.

Cynthia Ruiz:

I'm very proud of people that you are not a bitch Carmen. I am not a bitch, rick.

Alma Dawson:

I'm very proud of you for walking your 10,000 steps and I hope that she uses you as an example to be able to reach her goal of 10,000 steps a day. Maybe she can lose those 40 pounds so she can be snatched by January, the 12th 40 might be a little much.

Carmen Lezeth:

I'm turning off, mario Damn. Look at her being all bold, almost over between you and me.

Maurio Dawson :

Rick, she said, you have officially been gathered.

Carmen Lezeth:

She fucked me up. Damn, that was fucked up, Rick. When did you do this? Tell the people so I don't look like a fool.

Rick Costa:

Well, it was several years ago, several years ago. Well, because when I moved in with Mom, I had no freedom.

Alma Dawson:

Have you been?

Rick Costa:

able to maintain. When I decided to do it, I was 212 or something like that. I was like yo. What the heck? Never in my life have I been that heavy. Now I'm about 180-ish, something like that, boohoo, boohoo.

Maurio Dawson :

I feel so sorry for you, coming from somebody who was 328, okay, what do you mean? 328, somebody who was 328. Okay, I was 328. I got up to 328 and I'm now down to. I was at 221.

Carmen Lezeth:

I don't remember you being big as a.

Maurio Dawson :

Yeah, I've lost 107 pounds. Damn, wow, yes, and I'm still going.

Carmen Lezeth:

I got somewhere to go All right, well, I'm just saying Rick making me look like a fool, but now they all laughed because they see me, how did I make you look like a fool? Because you were making it sound like you did this past year. It's been several years because when I first met you, I didn't think I did.

Cynthia Ruiz:

We are not shaming anybody who lost weight, we are not shaming anybody who lost weight, no matter how long. We all do things.

Carmen Lezeth:

I'm a horrible person.

Rick Costa:

I am a bitch okay, no matter what you wear, you is beautiful, you is important.

Maurio Dawson :

You is smart. You is smart, you is kind, you is important.

Carmen Lezeth:

I'm not worried about my weight. What I'm worried about is I am not muscular and toned anymore. I'm all flabby now. That is just not working for me. I know synth is two seconds because I told you I showed you my arms last week I was so mad because I used to have arms like michelle obama okay, not like michelle obama, but, like you know, like nice did you wish you could reach through the screen and just smack her when she showed you her arms?

Alma Dawson:

Yes, because I feel I'm feeling that way too right now. Okay, wait.

Carmen Lezeth:

Here's my thing. Why is it my struggle? It's my struggle. Can we all have our own struggle?

Maurio Dawson :

You can, we all can, because you know what we all feel like. We have something we want to be better about, something to improve about, and you know, improve upon.

Alma Dawson:

We support you.

Maurio Dawson :

And we definitely support you.

Carmen Lezeth:

I can really tell you support me, we support you.

Alma Dawson:

I'll be the first one to ask you every week How's it going, okay?

Carmen Lezeth:

Oh no, I didn't know Alma was going to be involved.

Maurio Dawson :

She is misaccountability. I'm going to be fast.

Carmen Lezeth:

I'm going to be ready for a show now. Okay, cool.

Maurio Dawson :

She is misaccountability. For me, it's just about more weightlifting. I've definitely got the weight down, it's just. I have a lot of loose skin and I need to start doing more weight training. Start doing more weight training, and it's just. I don't have any. If there are any personal trainers out there who are willing to, who are still trying to get their certification and need a student for free to work with, call me, because I need something for free. Santa Monica, where are you? Santa Monica? Venice, I'm in Venice. Margarita, yeah, pro bono pro bono?

Carmen Lezeth:

yeah, I just. As you get older, they say that you should do more weight lifting yeah strength training and yeah, like I, I used to be able to do a split. I used to be able to, like, I used to be very, very flexible and I've lost some of that. So I got to get back on that, you know mean Like I just want to get back to a fitness Because enough with the injuries and all the drama. Like after my hip surgery, my hip is great now. There's no excuse.

Maurio Dawson :

There's no excuse, I'm good. You don't want to be popping no hips out trying to do splits, so leave the splits alone.

Cynthia Ruiz:

Don't worry about the split. She's talking about flexibility.

Maurio Dawson :

Okay, she wants to be flexible just worry about the other leg, just work on that one, work on your leg yeah, just do that one that's so funny you guys are cracking up.

Alma Dawson:

You need to go to Spankos Hipsism part time.

Carmen Lezeth:

I'm saying oh no, okay, it's gonna get extra no, it's not stop it right there.

Rick Costa:

We went to the line sadly, it is more difficult the older you get. Unfortunately, that's just a fact of life, what? To spread your legs to spread to get fit, be fit and maintain fitness. Oh yeah, to be fit for sure. Fit and maintain fitness. Oh yeah, to be fit for sure, Because it's easy when you're 21.

Carmen Lezeth:

Yeah, I'm going to agree, because what I read was that's also one of the things that we've been told to believe it is harder to lose weight when you're older. It is harder to lose weight when you're older. But, getting fit is not the same thing. You can get fit even when you're older and it's not any harder or whatever. It might be harder because you've gotten set in your ways, you know.

Maurio Dawson :

No, but our metabolisms absolutely slow down. They're not as fast as a 22 or a 30-year-old person. They can snap back way faster than we can.

Carmen Lezeth:

You can get fit, you can start doing weights and stuff like that and try to get back on track. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it.

Rick Costa:

I see these 70-year-old men looking like bodybuilders. I'm like what that's crazy.

Maurio Dawson :

I've actually started going to the gym more. I used to just go once or twice a week, Now up to three or four times a week.

Carmen Lezeth:

Yeah, I don't go to the gym, I hate it.

Maurio Dawson :

I do hate it. I don't like talking to people. I'm antisocial.

Carmen Lezeth:

I have Peloton I have the Peloton app.

Maurio Dawson :

That must be nice, because I don't have that. I have to go around people and so like, but what I do, I have to go in with my headphones on and sit on a bike and look at the TV and not look left or right, and I hate it when people come right next to me, do people?

Rick Costa:

talk to you a lot. Do people talk to you a lot? They try to.

Maurio Dawson :

I'm in.

Rick Costa:

Connecticut. Maybe it's different up here.

Maurio Dawson :

That's why I put my headphones on so therefore I won't talk. So people out here they say when you don't go to the gym with any music or anything, they say you're going raw dog in it, because that means you're absolutely opening yourself to everything around you, whereas if you put your headphones on, you can lock into your own music, your podcast, your whatever, stay in your own world and get your stuff done, and that's really what I like to do.

Rick Costa:

It's the universal signal of don't bother me.

Maurio Dawson :

Yes.

Carmen Lezeth:

Don't talk to me I live right here near the beach. You guys live by the beach. I feel like it's such a waste for me not to go take a walk there at least three times a week. It angers me. Members take a walk there at least three times a week, like it angers me Like membership is in my rent is what I'm trying to say.

Carmen Lezeth:

So I'm trying to be better about that and but yeah, I just rejoined the Peloton. Even though they're always trying to push their bikes and their treadmills and stuff, you don't have to have them. I don't have their equipment. But they also have like yoga, they have pilates, they have strength training, they have all this stuff and so we'll see how it goes.

Cynthia Ruiz:

I just bought the monthly one right now because you know I know it's gonna happen stuff too on netflix, like little 10 minute workouts on netflix and stuff.

Carmen Lezeth:

Yeah really you know where else there are some good workouts for free AARP, I'm not lying. There are some good workouts on there. Look it. I'm telling you, go check it out.

Rick Costa:

Probably find a bunch on YouTube too.

Alma Dawson:

Especially since you signed me up against my will.

Carmen Lezeth:

What.

Maurio Dawson :

She said yeah, she looked at me. She said, especially since you signed me up. She said yeah, she looked at me. She said, especially since you signed me up. She said against my will, they sent it to me.

Alma Dawson:

I started getting emails from AARP and I'm like what the hell? I'm not even close to it.

Carmen Lezeth:

I'm like why are they sending me emails Because AARP isn't really about age. We all think it is Ma'am, ma'am.

Alma Dawson:

I was offended, okay.

Cynthia Ruiz:

I was offended.

Alma Dawson:

And then I'm like he's hearing me talk about this. I'm like why are they even reaching out to me? I'm not ready Mentally, I am not there. And he seems like just snickering and laughing. And finally I'm like you did this, you did it.

Rick Costa:

Alma, just let go and let God.

Alma Dawson:

I slapped him and then I let it go. You gotta forgive. After she smacked him, after I smacked him, then I let it go.

Carmen Lezeth:

I love AARP. I told you I joined because of the guy on TikTok who's 24 and he's's been a member for so long and he uses all the benefits.

Maurio Dawson :

So I was like wait a minute, what?

Carmen Lezeth:

So I'm now a fan of ARP, yeah.

Maurio Dawson :

I am too. Look, I use it I definitely use it.

Carmen Lezeth:

Yeah, we're now both card-carrying members. Unitedhealthcare gives all of their patrons a free fitbit every two.

Maurio Dawson :

Oh, look at that okay, I don't have united health care I don't either, but that's a good thing.

Carmen Lezeth:

So maybe check your own health care, whatever you have.

Cynthia Ruiz:

Maybe they do have some free things as well there's a lot of insurances, too, that pay for gym membership.

Maurio Dawson :

Yes, I was just was just going to say that, yeah, mine gives me a discount, but they don't want to pay for it. I want free 99. That's what I want, yes.

Rick Costa:

If it's free, it's for me. I'm just saying.

Carmen Lezeth:

See, I love those sayings, those are good.

Rick Costa:

I was watching an Instagram video of a woman and all of a sudden she said, and I screamed she goes because, honey, if it's free, it's for me.

Carmen Lezeth:

I was like hey, that's mine, that's my trademark. He stole it from you. Oh no, you're saying he should say that to her. Yeah, oh, my god, I'm so glad you came on.

Maurio Dawson :

Yeah, thank you for having us. I I was supposed to come on earlier, but you know I've had some issues going on, but I'm better now. I didn't share nothing with nobody no, I know I've had some health issues and I had to have some minor surgery, but it's all good now you can talk about it if you want to, but if you don't want to, you don't have to not for public consumption.

Carmen Lezeth:

I'll tell you that offline I already know, you already know, I already know your wife, you already know and I think I told Rick but I haven't told Cynthia. Yeah, Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Whoa, whoa, are you friends with Rick without me knowing? Uh-oh. Wait what Did you guys know without me knowing what?

Rick Costa:

Rick doesn't mind getting funny things on Instagram every so often, right, rick doesn't mind getting funny things on Instagram.

Carmen Lezeth:

every so often I had to tell him to stop sending me shit on Instagram.

Maurio Dawson :

So, rick and I, we trade.

Carmen Lezeth:

That's fair. That's great. Yeah, it's only me. Again. I am coming across as a bitch, ain't I today? I can't help it A little bit, a little bit, I know. Here's the thing. Okay, Cynthia, because I'm just going to say Rick and Mario both send a lot of Instagram posts to me that are funny. Past tense when I get it, because that's the universe, Past tense. Past tense because I used to Used to no longer. I know, but Long ago.

Maurio Dawson :

We don't do that shit, no more so don't be.

Cynthia Ruiz:

Send them to me. Send them to me. I love you.

Carmen Lezeth:

Here's the reason. Wait, if I'm going to be labeled a bitch, y'all are going to know why. Okay, exactly Same thing.

Maurio Dawson :

And she said I'm going to wear my crown.

Carmen Lezeth:

How about that? Because I communicate with you guys on Instagram. I always think it's something important, and then it's just and I'm at work, right, it's always something that I'm at work and I'm like oh my God, Rick, something happened or he needs something or whatever, and it's so. That's what it is. Now, if you want to do that stuff on TikTok or anywhere else, I'm good, but not in the way I communicate with you. That's all I was saying.

Rick Costa:

Sure, you want to say that. Just kidding, I don't look at Tinder things on TikTok.

Carmen Lezeth:

It's up on my phone, facebook, tiktok. These things do not come up on my phone, instagram, because you and I communicate that way. I have it on my phone, but I'm really good about putting up boundaries with people and with social media. My segue Look at Mario's. I'm over this bitch. Let's go All right. It's so great to have everyone on the show. Oh my God, alma, thank you for coming on with your beautiful voice and everything. We appreciate it. Mario, love you always.

Maurio Dawson :

Love you too.

Carmen Lezeth:

Cynthia Rick always adore you. Hey everyone, thank you for stopping by and hanging out with us. I appreciate it. Please check out All About the Joy. The store Could be a nice Christmas gift. Some All About the Joy Swag, yep, some swag. We got hats, we got cups, we got stickers, we got stuffage. We got what Stickers and totes, I gotta get the tote bag. I keep forgetting to do that pillow look at the pillow. I gotta get one of those too you fancy huh?

Carmen Lezeth:

check out the podcast please, it'd be great if you guys could also add us on your podcast list. It just helps us with what we're trying to do here. So hopefully we'll see you again next week and remember, it really is all about the joy. Goodbye everybody, bye.

Maurio Dawson :

Goodbye Peace.

Carmen Lezeth:

Thanks for stopping by. All About the Joy Be better and stay beautiful. Folks have a sweet day.