All About The Joy
All About The Joy is a weekly hang-out with friends in the neighborhood! We share insight, advice, funny-isms and we choose to always try and find the positive, the silver lining, the "light" in all of it. AATJ comes from the simple concept that at the end of the day we all want to have more JOY than not. So, this is a cool place to unwind, have a laugh and share some time with friends!
All About The Joy
Old School Episodes: The Unspoken Rules of Friendship
Join us as we rediscover the joy of friendship in our latest podcast episode! With a lively mix of laughter, personal anecdotes, and heartfelt reflections, we tackle the complexities of loyalty and the tough decisions we often face in our relationships. Whether reminiscing about old school moments or pondering how far one would go to support a friend in need, we embrace the ups and downs that shape our connections.
Our discussion leads us to explore essential themes like gratitude for community and the importance of open dialogue. We dive into the moral dilemmas that arise in friendships, allowing listeners to reflect on their own experiences and the standards they hold. With humor and sincerity, we uncover how our expectations influence our relationships, ultimately strengthening the bonds we create over time.
Are you ready for a journey through the intricacies of human connection? Tune in, engage with us, and reflect on what truly defines your friendships. Don't forget to subscribe, share your thoughts, and leave a review!
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Music By Geovane Bruno, Moments, 3481
Editing by Team A-J
Host, Carmen Lezeth
DISCLAIMER: As always, please do your own research and understand that the opinions in this podcast and livestream are meant for entertainment purposes only. States and other areas may have different rules and regulations governing certain aspects discussed in this podcast. Nothing in our podcast or livestream is meant to be medical or legal advice. Please use common sense, and when in doubt, ask a professional for advice, assistance, help and guidance.
So where do you go to? Where do you go? Where do you go to? I want to know how do you do it. That thing you do Follow you blindly. I'll be your fool. Where do you go to? Where do you?
Carmen Lezeth:go? Where do you go to? I want to know how do you do it. Hi everyone, welcome to All About the Joy, the vintage edition. I was going to call it old school, but it's kind of the same thing.
Carmen Lezeth:I went back and looked at some of our archival live stream footage that we haven't looked at in a long time and I took a few of those and kind of put them all together. And I took a few of those and kind of put them all together and I just want to take a moment to say thank you to this community that we have established here. It's so much fun and I really enjoy it. And I just want to say thank you to the guests, to everyone in the chat, to people who support the show. Just thank you so much.
Carmen Lezeth:It's been such a fun ride and we look forward to doing so many more of these in the future. So just thank you so much. It's been such a fun ride and we look forward to doing so many more of these in the future. So enjoy the old school stuff and hopefully you'll see what I was trying to get at regarding a theme. And yeah, it is always all about the joy, but it's also all about friendship, enjoy. Now in Iowa, did you go see Field of Dreams, the actual cornfield I've never even seen the movie.
Andrea Nunez:I know.
Carmen Lezeth:Look, andrea is one of my best friends. I mean, when I say best friend, like I would die for her. Okay, her children are my God children.
Andrea Nunez:I'm sorry, I said, or kill her.
Carmen Lezeth:Or kill her right or kill for you. Did I that's like, kill her or kill her right no, I would never kill you, but but, um, but there are just so many things like she's never seen the movie et and refuses to like she, just like now. It's like a thing. You know what I mean.
Andrea Nunez:Like and I'm like, yeah, there's a certain point where it's like, okay, well, that's my thing, I'm just not gonna watch it, I did almost watch it actually a few months ago, and then I was like no you don't do that.
Carmen Lezeth:No, you know, I I still think it's something I'm I need you to watch, but whatever there. So field, field of Dreams, rick, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Not going to happen, it's not going to happen, never, no, I will never watch it. She won't do it.
Andrea Nunez:So I know like roughly like the build it and they will whatever it is.
Carmen Lezeth:But look at Rick's face. He's like, oh my God, I hate this woman.
Andrea Nunez:And she will be invited back.
Carmen Lezeth:I'm like like build it and he will come. Everybody's wait a minute, rick it's. Oh, wow, wait, you took it as a religious thing. Oh, no, no, not, no, I'm not talking about jesus.
Rick Costa:Oh okay, I was like no, he did it, did he just make his builder and he will come. It never was day, everybody they. But it's not they, it's he.
Andrea Nunez:Don't the ghosts walk out onto the field. Spoiler alert.
Carmen Lezeth:Andrea, I had this film professor who I hate, frank Manchel. Everyone knows I hate him, university of Vermont, I hate him, always hated him. But if you didn't get the gist but one of the things that I will say, that that that he mentioned I won't say taught me, cause I know I would have learned it somewhere else I will not give him that credit, but he did say it. He said never talk about a film you've never seen. Just don't do it.
Carmen Lezeth:It doesn't matter if you've seen all the clips to whatever, and you will never hear me talk about a movie I've never seen, don't matter what clips I've seen, because until you see the full context, you don't know what you're talking about. But yeah, but, rick, I'm just telling you, this is my. I don't know what we have in common. Because she doesn't it's like almost on purpose, she will not watch anything.
Andrea Nunez:I ask her to watch. Unlike you, that's not true. Okay, what's next?
Carmen Lezeth:I'm just saying I don't think you've ever watched anything I asked you to watch I watched moonlight but I don't even know what moonlight is what's moonlight wait?
Andrea Nunez:is that the one that won the oscar? Did it win the oscar?
Carmen Lezeth:I'm sure you didn't watch it because I told you to, because I don't even remember the movie.
Andrea Nunez:We'll have to talk about this offline, but you did. You gave me the movie which I still have, wait wait, wait.
Carmen Lezeth:I did what. I sent you the movie. You gave me the. No, I did not DVD. I bought you the DVD. Yes, I sent it to you Exactly.
Andrea Nunez:That seems more likely.
Carmen Lezeth:Okay. Well, we'll talk later, because there are a lot of things that you don't do, that get on my nerves. No, I'm just kidding.
Rick Costa:But I am curious, if I may ask.
Andrea Nunez:Well, why is this turning into? Why did I show up tonight?
Carmen Lezeth:Rick, what do you want to know?
Rick Costa:I'm just curious, if I may ask specifically not, I don't care about ET. I've seen ET, though Fear the Dreams. What do you not? Why do you not want to see it?
Andrea Nunez:I despise Kevin Costner. I will not watch it.
Rick Costa:Oh, okay, there you go Now I understand.
Andrea Nunez:Okay, I really love the movie no Way Out, but it's sort of in spite of him.
Carmen Lezeth:One of the best movies ever have you ever seen? No Way Out. Rick Costa. What's it? Kevin Costa? It's one of his first early movies. Really good movie, Sean.
Andrea Nunez:What's her name? Sean, what's her name? What was her name? What's her name? I forget her name. Oh yeah, I can't remember her name Anyway.
Carmen Lezeth:Yeah, you know what I can take or leave. Kevin Costner, like, it's not Like the reason why I saw Field of Dreams the first time. Because there's always a reason, right, it's because James Earl Jones is in it and James Earl Jones has always been one of my heroes. So of course I was going to watch every movie, every play I could get my you know hands on, cause I couldn't go to Broadway to see him or whatever. But James Earl Jones is in the movie and that was the reason why I had to see it. And then I was so glad because it's not about baseball, like, and, and that's kind of the cool thing about it. But yeah, that's kind of the cool thing about it. But yeah, you know what, andrea, again, I'm not going to. I know you're not going to see it, but field of dreams is great, not because of Kevin Costner, it's just a great story and it makes you think. You know what I mean. That's it, um, but yeah, yeah, wow, okay, we can go. Yeah, thanks, tony, it is good advice.
Carmen Lezeth:Don't talk about it, it is good. Yeah, you're right, and I and I put that on everything don't talk about a book you've never seen. Don't talk about a person you've never met, don't you know what I mean? Like, it makes it really simple to not get yourself all twisted. Uh, if you've not experienced that, cynthia, I'm so bummed about your interwebs. I thought I was gonna see her tonight. I know it's the only reason why you came and jumped in Cause. I said, rick, I'm a log off, you can deal with this. So, rick, what was it about? Um Chris Hemsworth show? I mean, besides the fact you said the last episode, look at it's. It's pretty well known what happened. Oh wait, let me read what Kevin said. I find a lot of people that don't watch movies Don't enjoy the fantasy part of it. I think Andrea watches a lot of movies. She just doesn't watch the movies I watch. But I hear you, I agree with you.
Carmen Lezeth:I'm just defending you here, andrea, because, yes, I watched a lot of different tastes what we have, different things that we like yeah, and even when it comes to like men, we have very different tastes, but we always thought that was a plus in our relationship because, yeah, yeah rick is like how we going here. I'm like I'm just throwing. This is an analysis of friendship. Is what I'm saying? I forgot what I was talking about before.
Rick Costa:Well, I was going to say this show Limitless with Chris Helmsworth. This is one that I would say everybody should watch.
Carmen Lezeth:Yeah, everybody should watch it. Yeah, it's something that I would watch.
Andrea Nunez:I just haven't gotten to it yet.
Carmen Lezeth:Like I've seen the we just showed the trailer. We just showed it on here.
Ted Hicks:Yeah and don't necessarily trust the reviews either.
Rick Costa:Tony, in general I mean.
Andrea Nunez:I don't think I've ever gone to see a movie because of the reviews, or even read reviews before I went to go. Usually that's the kind of stuff I look at after I see.
Carmen Lezeth:I, you know. For me, I'll be honest with you there's very few people who I pay attention to but know me well enough. One of them is Mia, my other best friend, my first best friend. No, but Mia is the really, hands down, the only person that knows me well enough knows what movies I would like and don't like Like. So if she says, yeah, go see this movie, I'll go see it. If she says, don't go see this movie, I'll still go see the movie and then be like, damn it, she was right, because she kind of knows what I like and don't like, but reviews, like of regular critics.
Carmen Lezeth:I came out to Los Angeles to be a critic, to be a film critic, which is weird. And then I was like you didn't know that. I studied film and English in college and I wanted to be like Pauline Kael who, by the way, is a bitch of a film critic in the academic world Sorry, may she rest in peace but brilliant, brilliant. But she was always tearing apart every movie. But I was like, well, I can't dance anymore, I can't perform anymore, what else could I do? And so I wanted to be a film critic and I loved, like Roger Ebert and them were just coming on, the whole kind of, and I was like I didn't want to do the thumbs up and thumbs down crap, but I was like I could totally I thought of it as you go to the movies, tell people about it and get paid.
Carmen Lezeth:Here's what I liked, here's what I didn't like. I think you should go two steps up and around the world. We still have to give some love to. Jamie Foxx is still in the hospital, so love to him. And all the bullshit everyone's talking about that he had a stroke, that he had a heart attack, that he is all lies, lies, lies, lies. We don't know, but we praying on him, uh, to get better soon.
Andrea Nunez:Yeah, siskel and eber, yeah, um I am fascinated that I did not know that, like I thought, you came out to act. You know who knew that.
Carmen Lezeth:Mia, wait, wait, wait, and Richard, oh, hell, no, okay, wait, you got to tell the story of Richard and I'm out. You got to tell the story of Richard because that's a good one. I want to hear it from your perspective.
Andrea Nunez:Oh man, do we have to do all of this? Okay, so yeah, it's funny, dude. Carmen was having a birthday, like a milestone birthday. I think I was turning 40. It was when I lived in DC, right yeah?
Carmen Lezeth:You were in Europe, but you seem to always leave that out of the story. You were living in Europe at the time, andrea. Okay, I'm gonna friends, richard, you know God rest his soul, truly, really great guy.
Andrea Nunez:But so they're putting together. I don't know. I guess it was a surprise party. I don't know. Was it a surprise? I don't know, I didn't know anything about.
Carmen Lezeth:Why are you asking? If it was a surprise party, you can find you what happened. What happened? How are you?
Andrea Nunez:asking if it was a surprise party. You can find you what happened would have happened. How are you asking this question? Anyway, I just I'm trying to. You know, I don't normally tell the story you normally tell. So, anyway, I wasn't there, so I can't tell the whole story anyway. So a bunch of people, a bunch of carmen's friends, friends were invited to a dinner to celebrate her birthday.
Andrea Nunez:Elaborate everyone that was there, but I know two people, specifically included our former boss, who I'm not really sure fits in the friend category, and number two, my former roommate, who was not a friend, was not a friend of me. I didn't even know about this. Can I swear? Can I swear? Yes, okay, this motherfucking party. So after the fact, and my freaking former roommate is invited, I don't even know it's happening. Look, I'm gonna start crying. Fucking shit, I'm still picked, I don't. We won't say how long ago. It was three, four years ago, yeah but a long time ago, but wait.
Andrea Nunez:I will never. I will never have closure. Obviously she was, so I'm still pretty pissed off about it and every time it comes up I feel it welling okay, so I just have to clean up a piece of this.
Carmen Lezeth:So they had a surprise party for me at a, at one of my favorite restaurants, and this was a planned out, like a long winded planned out thing, cause you have to book this place and whatever, and Richard, may he rest in peace Cause he has passed away. Um, he tried to. Like all of my friends don't know each other in person, like you know what I mean, like I'm sure you have friends, Rick, that know of each other but they don't know each other in person. You know what I mean. So Richard did his due diligence and I, the more I think about it, the more I think that he called probably one of my assistants at the time Because, remember, I was over at brand new school and they tried to coordinate it and people flew in like Mia flew, like this wasn't a small like party.
Andrea Nunez:This was a big deal. Someone else could have had she known about it.
Carmen Lezeth:I know, I know and I'm just saying, but it was just, it was hilarious Cause she was so angry for so long.
Andrea Nunez:I'm thinking about the years and I swear it was when I was in DC. I was not in DC, you were in.
Carmen Lezeth:Europe.
Andrea Nunez:I know you were Cause we're going to talk about this later, but I'm telling you, because that's what I thought.
Carmen Lezeth:you weren't there. I was like, well, of course she's not going to fly in from Europe for my little birthday party. That's what I thought. But, rick, the best part is the pictures. It's like me and our boss, me and her roommate. I took pictures of everybody. It was so wrong, it was so wrong.
Andrea Nunez:I don't even remember why we're talking now.
Carmen Lezeth:I'm all like, all right, I gotta go no, no, because we're talking about field of dreams and friendship. And how little you know about how, why I came out here. You didn't know that I yeah anyway.
Andrea Nunez:No wonder I wasn't invited to the party. I didn't know you were going to be a film credit. There we go.
Carmen Lezeth:Mystery solved, yeah, mystery solved, um, we go Mystery solved, yeah, mystery solved, um, all right, well, I couldn't show it. You know this is also part of those things. But anyway, basically what he's saying, and he says it's in such a funny way, but he he talks about like, if you're my best friend, you should know that I can use you in a lie if I need to right. Like he's basically saying if I look at you, you know I'm in trouble. We should be so connected that you gonna lie for me. There's not much else I need to do because we're best friends. And he says your bullshit is my bullshit and my bullshit is your. And of course it's Chris Hart, I mean Kevin Hart, so he's brilliantly funny about it. Ok, so I I sent that to Andrea. So my question is how far would you go to defend a friend? How far would you go to defend a friend?
Ted Hicks:Now.
Carmen Lezeth:I'll tell you back when the OJ Simpson thing happened, when he murdered his wife and Ron Goldman his ex-wife and Ron Goldman, because that's what I believe happened I was talking to Mia and I remember having this conversation with her and I said even if all of the evidence was against you, even if they could prove that it was you that you murdered somebody, I'd be there for you, I would believe you, I would fight to the end, I would make sure that we would find a way to acquit you. That's what I said. Now that I'm older and she has children and a husband, I don't know if you have all the evidence against you how far I would go. I'm just saying I don't know. I would be there for you as a friend forever, but I don't know. Andrea thoughts.
Andrea Nunez:My initial thought before you brought that up was like I'd go all the way up to the edge of where it hurts somebody else, like a third party, like really hurts them in some way. It depends, maybe, on what that third party has done okay, gray area there maybe gray area. That's my initial thought, joyce.
Joy Gouge:I think it kind of would depend on the situation though, because you know, if I've got a friend out there that's like you know, killing her husband or something you know, I just don't know. You know I did something.
Carmen Lezeth:Okay, so what I'm hearing is I can't rely on you, joy, for anything. Okay.
Joy Gouge:Now, when it comes to someone's health or well-being, you know I will support you as a friend, but I will not back up that lie or that deception or that very hurtful thing that they were doing to their husband. Okay, you know I'm not going gonna support you hurting somebody else, physically hurting somebody else right, all I but.
Carmen Lezeth:But then I'm gonna step in because andrea made a good point. Depends on who the third party is like. I I don't know. I mean I hear you. So ash just said I'm bad for being all in, but I would hope the friend would respect my morals and how it would affect me by doing so. Don't worry, joy, I got the shovel.
Joy Gouge:All right, I've got you on speed dial.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:I've got you on speed dial.
Carmen Lezeth:Yeah, I don't know, rick, thoughts or Joy, you were going to say something. I'm sorry, no, no, oh, rick, go ahead.
Rick Costa:I'll do what I can humanly possible for you if I really love you. You're my friend and everything.
Rick Costa:But I'm not gonna lie, though I'm not gonna lie like wow oh yeah, I just saw this video because, of course, my mom has dementia and so I watch a lot of videos on youtube about dementia and they. This video caught my attention was like lying and dementia, and of course they're seeing things that aren't there. And they're hearing things that aren't there and so the woman's like you don't want to lie, but here's the thing. They really see it.
Joy Gouge:Yeah.
Rick Costa:Making it up. So it's not like they're. They're not lying. They're actually seeing what they see. So when you tell them, no, that's not there, they think you're not lying. They're actually seeing what they see. So when you tell them, no, that's not there, they think you're the one that's lying right so now I'm like what do I do?
Carmen Lezeth:I'm lying is okay. I'm kind of done with this. I'm I'm tired of being goody two-shoes about everything. Yeah, it is all about the hate today. Let me tell you Clearly all about the honesty. I just. I think sometimes, okay, wait, asher said oh, I've totally lied for a friend. Exactly, I've lied for friends easily, like, easily, easily, no problem. I don't think it's always so black and white and there are gray areas.
Carmen Lezeth:Now, if somebody murdered somebody, that's a different ballgame. But if somebody was accused of murdering, like, I cannot imagine I'm going to just say it straight up If Andrea was accused of murdering somebody, I mean it's going to take way more than just evidence for me to believe that that's true, because I know her so well that I would. It would be so hard for me to be like you know what girl? I'm sorry, I'll come visit you in jail, like, but it seems like you did it. You know and I know who she might murder. She might murder. So I even know. So a part of me would still find it. It would just it would rock my whole sense of understanding who she is and the world. For that's why I'm saying I think I'd be there for her no matter what, even at quick, because I would think that the system did her wrong. You know what I mean, and I would have to find out why.
Andrea Nunez:Well, and I would say just, you know, I think that I believe that none of my friends who I would lie for there are some I have that I would definitely not lie for, but none of my friends who I would lie for, uh, would ask me to step over a line. That's right. I like, like you were saying that about me, like I um, there's a certain point where I wouldn't do that to them. You know, I may have done it, done whatever to somebody else that would. I would say I want you to lie for me, but I like I wouldn't ask them to do that to me because of what it would do to them.
Carmen Lezeth:You know what I mean. I just got totally confused. Yeah, I didn't hear anything in there. Like Carmen, I would do the same for you. That's what I was waiting for. I didn't hear that at all.
Andrea Nunez:but okay, whatever, like I wouldn't ask you to lie for me.
Carmen Lezeth:But that's exactly. But of course not. But that's my whole point.
Andrea Nunez:If you were accused of murder, murdering somebody, I know you would not, that you would ever murder anybody, but I'm saying I know people that would. Are you on that list that you have of people you want to kill, if that person is?
Carmen Lezeth:in that list. Yeah right, I'm just saying like, let's just pretend, pretend right, that you were accused of murdering somebody. I would know in my heart, in my entire being, it was not you. Yeah, yeah, you wouldn't even have to ask me. Yeah, I would try to figure out what the problem is. Does that make sense? Okay? Okay, again, not hearing that you would do the same for me, but whatever, I'm just kidding.
Andrea Nunez:I just said same.
Rick Costa:Does this change anything? What if you? By lying, you get into trouble legally Me, Whoever.
Carmen Lezeth:I don't care.
Carmen Lezeth:I would rather go down fighting because I think but okay, that's a great point, because here's the thing. Isn't that the problem with our country right now? We're so self-absorbed about what's going to happen to me, we don't care so much about what's happening to other people. I'm not trying to throw that out there, but that's exactly the point. If I know someone who is innocent is going to jail for something they didn't do, and it's somebody I love and care about, I mean, andrea said it earlier, it's no joke. If you in my corner, I got you, I got you. Yeah, this is not going to be. I'm a loyal, loyal friend. You fuck with me and it's over. That's a different ballgame. That's a different, and Andrea knows this. I have a three strikes rule. All of my friends know this. You have to do three major mess-ups like major mess-ups to not be my friend anymore.
Andrea Nunez:I'm just wondering how many strikes I have right now.
Rick Costa:Going back to the beginning, you said this is a lie. So would you go to jail knowing you just told a lie to help somebody out, when you they probably didn't do it?
Carmen Lezeth:okay, I don't know what you mean. I got confused. Now what? Okay, let's go with andrea just murdered somebody, okay, and then what am I doing?
Andrea Nunez:I know cynthia's like laughing cynthia, I would ask you, can it be?
Carmen Lezeth:somebody else. No, because we just just chit-chatting. Okay, wait, let's read ash. Okay, wait. Ash said oh, I've totally lied for a friend. Laugh out loud. Exactly. You'd be wondering why andrea didn't call you for help. That's true. If I went down defending a friend who was in the right, I'd happily go down with them. That's right, go ahead.
Rick Costa:But rick, give me your example.
Carmen Lezeth:They were in the wrong but but if Andrea murdered somebody, why, if, if, if my best friend, one of my best friends, murdered somebody and they, they would tell me. First of all, they would tell me I don't need to defend that that's. That's a whole different situation they're going to. I don't have people in my life that wouldn't fess up to me. So I'm not lying for somebody. I'm saying if she was accused of murdering somebody and I knew that she didn't do it, or I trusted that she told me she didn't do it, I would believe her.
Joy Gouge:Yeah, I got that, I'm just saying I'm throwing a monkey wrench at you, that's a little different.
Carmen Lezeth:That's not one of my friends.
Rick Costa:I'm just saying the monkey wrench is she lied. They are lying and now you're sitting in jail knowing that it's not even true. You're here for a lie.
Carmen Lezeth:First of all, carmen ain't going to be sitting in no jail. Let's just be clear about that. Okay, number one because? Because I got some good ass motherfucking lawyers in my life, okay, yeah, just to start right now. Okay, wait a minute. Here's the problem with that scenario. Andrea wouldn't lie to me. You're saying that somebody I consider my best friend, like part of my life, would lie to me and I would know they were lying and then I would go to jail for them. That doesn't make no sense.
Rick Costa:Let's say, andrea stole a million dollars from a company and she's like I'm definitely going to get away with it, carmen, don't tell nobody. Okay, don't tell nobody, she gets caught. And then they say, carmen, did you have knowledge of this? It's either no, or you're gonna lie, and you know.
Carmen Lezeth:lie or not lie, you know am I with andrea in the other country that we've flown to where there's no we are having fruity drinks on the beach right now, right. The problem with your scenario is that Andrea, upon stealing the million dollars, would have already charted the jet that we were both. I'm just saying like I would probably have known about the million dollar heist, because my friends wouldn't do something like that without telling me and including me in and me being go ahead, go ahead girl, so you would be the accomplice.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:Yeah, I have no. Who?
Carmen Lezeth:Cynthia, look at, here's the thing too. Andrea would steal the million dollars from the same place. I would right, girl, we're not gonna steal from people who need it, we're gonna steal from people who don't need it, and I'm screwing people, so we would have robin hood robin hood yeah, yeah, we've gone down a hood.
Andrea Nunez:I missed one, I'm confused.
Carmen Lezeth:I don't know what my love language is. Is that in all?
Andrea Nunez:relationships. Well, that's the theory. Or just men? All people live and receive love in a certain way, and so it's your job to know what your partner's love language is, so that you can communicate with them in that way.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:Okay, Andrea.
Carmen Lezeth:Go ahead, andrea. What's your love language girl?
Andrea Nunez:Acts of service.
Carmen Lezeth:Do nice things for me uh, acts of service do nice things for me, so do they. So that means you. Okay, I just want to learn. So you're saying, if somebody does nice things for you, then you love them, they love you it's showing their love like that.
Andrea Nunez:Yeah, that's how I like someone to show their love for me and how I show my love for other people, like cooking, right, that's doing a nice thing for people. I do that for people. You know, that's a love language for me and it's I'm just saying.
Carmen Lezeth:I have not felt that kind of love from you in a very long time. I have not felt the love language of cooking in my house and leaving me food for a couple weeks and just friendship. Of our love language is confusion, I think Okay.
Andrea Nunez:I hear what you're saying. Well, I don't know what your love language is. You have to.
Carmen Lezeth:I've never thought of such a thing I have. No, I really don't. I've never. I don't know what my love language is.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:Well, if you were in a relationship, or in any any relationship, how would you want someone to show you that they love you or appreciate you?
Andrea Nunez:how do you know like what makes you feel loved?
Carmen Lezeth:I think there's a reason why I am definitely single right now. Is this the answer? Is this what I've been missing the whole time?
Andrea Nunez:You're like I have no language. I don't know, she's not young or old hey Michael.
Carmen Lezeth:I think we now know the secret. I don't know. I'm so confused. I think Rick is trying to tell me I'm having so much fun I'm going to have to try to ignore him for a bit. Oh, here he is. Wait a minute, here he is. Okay, wait, we're going to bring Rick on. Rick, you're missing it. Ciao, sorry. We've now determined that the reason why I am single all this time is because I don't know what my love language is. I know I'm like that's the answer. All right, give me the options again and I'll tell you what I think I might want. It is so material. It's clearly not material stuff that doesn't matter.
Andrea Nunez:Gifts is one of them, right, Isn't that material? Yeah?
Carmen Lezeth:but you know, that's not really my thing.
Andrea Nunez:I'm asking you guys Gifts is one of them, Words of affection or some you know.
Rick Costa:Affirmation.
Andrea Nunez:Yes, thank you.
Carmen Lezeth:Wait, wait, so wait. I'm confused. So you mean somebody tells me you're awesome and that's going to make me love them? I'm confused.
Andrea Nunez:It's not about making you love them. It's not like some voodoo shit where there's a hooking in the hole and say she's awesome, she's all in love with me.
Carmen Lezeth:She's awesome. Hey, joy. Just so you know. Michael wrote a few joy. He wrote in the comments oh, michael, michael backer, michael backer yeah, I'm sorry I forgot. Uh, rick is a great gift to all seekers of divine guidance. Okay, I'm still trying to figure out. Thank you.
Ted Hicks:Okay, rick, just wrote.
Carmen Lezeth:Rick just wrote words of affirmation quality time, physical touch, acts of service, receiving gifts. There you go. Okay, I think mine might be quality time. That's probably fair, right? Yeah, I think so. I think that's probably me Like I don't need to see you, probably me like I don't need to see you every day. I don't even need you to live in my house, hint hint, have your own place. But I like, like, if we're gonna be together, we're gonna. I think that might be true. Yeah, I'm not, because you know I'm by myself. Hey, ted Hicks, how you doing? Okay? He wrote wait a minute, I didn't get my chance to say it's ladies night. Yeah, we, we tried to knock him out, saying we were having technical difficulty, but he logged back on you know, um, okay um Cynthia Joy, joy, your turn, my goodness.
Joy Gouge:I love the quality time. That quality time we're the same yeah.
Carmen Lezeth:Quality time.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:Now takes its to all of us.
Carmen Lezeth:After he said hi to Rick in a special thing, then he said hi to the rest of us. Cynthia was yours and Rick was yours. Rick in a special thing that he sent out of the restaurant, Like whatever, Cynthia was yours and Rick was yours. Oh, Rick, let's go with you first.
Rick Costa:I would say probably quality time with a sprinkle of access service. Like it's basically how do you feel loved when somebody does which one of these things? So quality time, huge for me. Like you want to spend time with me cool, that shows you love me. You know I love that. But then acts of service is like I'll do the dishes for you, whatever, I'll do this for you, you ain't got to do it.
Carmen Lezeth:Really like that'll make me feel like oh wow oh, you know what, when you said acts of service, like when andrea was talking, she said because I was thinking like you know, you volunteer, you do. I still am confused by all of this I'm confusion I'm confusion.
Andrea Nunez:Like you know, acts of service like rub your feet at the end of the day. Gas up your car, do something you revise.
Carmen Lezeth:I want to revise. I like people rubbing my feet she likes physical touch.
Rick Costa:I want men to oh boy, this is rated. G right, this is family friendly here's the thing.
Carmen Lezeth:I'm in charge of the clips. Okay, that's so funny. All right, I I think I'm getting it all right. Go ahead, cynthia. What's yours?
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:so mine would be um two of them. So I have the quality of time and gifts, but not like huge gifts, like, for instance, like if somebody goes to a store and they know I love Disney let's give an example and they go to a store, they see something with Disney or something like that and they just thought of me and grabbed. It could be a dollar, it could be 25 cents, doesn't even matter, just the point that they show that they thought of me and Pick something up for me, hiony, how you doing yeah um it doesn't mean being materialistic.
Rick Costa:It means like somebody took the time to actually get you something and said, oh, I think this is gonna make their day, and then you did it right. It's like, oh yeah, this is just romantic relationships.
Carmen Lezeth:Right, not necessarily okay. So you guys were just messing with me, okay? Well, after this I'm gonna have to have like, I'm gonna have to write in my journal and be like this is what happened with this guy. I did not understand that he was trying trying to provide service.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:And your love language might not be the same as your partner or as your friend. It may be totally different.
Carmen Lezeth:Well, clearly I wasn't even paying attention. So is that really a thing? I guess it's really a thing. Wow, this will be the last time we do turn the tables Thursday, because the host is feeling like a loser.
Joy Gouge:No it's your therapy session. You're learning so much. It's your therapy session.
Carmen Lezeth:It totally is. We're going to fix Carmen after all, yeah, after all.
Brian McGauhey:Set in place to begin with, because if you set up a foundation, you set up boundaries. You will have a good relationship. From my observation, from everybody else I know and everybody else I've spoken to that have been married for X amount of years, my failed relationships has been financial, because it's my choosing of the type of jobs I wanted to go. But I do the best of my ability. You know the shit I mean. But the thing about it is it's like hey, love you Rich, but hey, I mean you want to go for somebody else, you know that wants to flaunt and all that stuff. Fine, go ahead, be that way.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:But it's just like, hey, you know if they're only going after you for your money, right?
Brian McGauhey:well, I mean yeah, but but also too. But like, what annoys me from my past experience is just that, like I'd be there for him. I'd be like yeah, what do you need? I got you. Would you need help with that? I got you. But the moment I run into a snag, oh bye, I gotta go. It's not you, it's me kind of for you.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:That's not the right person.
Brian McGauhey:You can't do it right, I know, but, like I said, it's been like financial because it's like I run into a snag, but yet everything else I've done, I help them out.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:So try not to help them out so much. Don't do what you can.
Brian McGauhey:Don't overexert yourself trying to give them everything when they can't do the same to you, Right when they can't do the same to you, right, but I expect that reciprocated, like I was there for you in your time of need.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:See, you needed to be on our last podcast with the love language, because your love language is not the same as the girls you've been finding.
Brian McGauhey:Because I mean, like I could fix shit, I could cook shit, I mean I could do it.
Carmen Lezeth:Yeah, brian, I you should talk to Cynthia later. She can get by.
Brian McGauhey:I'm not hard to find. It's all good, I'm not hard to find.
Carmen Lezeth:Brian, I think you're just choosing the wrong people, or you're not choosing, but you're connecting and maybe falling for people and maybe you don't see the signs because, no, look at as much as I make fun of you and whatever we, we go back and forth. I know you're a good man and I know you can cook some shit. Okay, that I'll give you some credit right there. I've seen you with the barbecue. Okay, like I would go to texas just for that. Okay, so're a good person. You work hard. You need to find a person that connects on your level. You're not finding those right people.
Andrea Nunez:That's what that's about. It's important to know what you want in a relationship, what your own values are, so that you can kind of screen people for those values. It doesn't mean they have to totally match up, but they can't be like in total conflict either.
Rick Costa:Yeah, and one thing I'll say, too, is if you don't want me, then I don't want you, because why would I want you? If you don't want me, then I don't want you, because why would I want you if you don't want me? Sounds simple, but it's like.
Andrea Nunez:that's the bottom line if you don't want me anymore, if someone doesn't want to be with you, they're not the right person.
Ted Hicks:Boom done, there you go something that you guys had mentioned a couple of weeks ago and I responded to you, but it was at the end of your stream. Does your significant other need to be your best friend? I say no.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:Which is amazing. They don't need to be, but it probably would help the relationship a little if they are one of your best friends. Okay, if they are one of your best friends.
Ted Hicks:Okay, so I say no, but a comment that was used earlier. I think that person, that significant other, needs to be your ride or die.
Mister B:Yeah.
Ted Hicks:But they don't have to be your best friend.
Carmen Lezeth:Can you tell me what ride or die is versus best friend?
Ted Hicks:What does that, what's the difference or what does it mean, because I don't know what that means you know your significant other is your ride or die, meaning you can depend on them when needed, just as they would depend on you. But is that the?
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:same as a best friend. A best friend, you would depend on them regardless of whatever.
Brian McGauhey:They're close, they're close.
Ted Hicks:They're very close.
Mister B:One of my best friends is a little bit harder than your best friend, wouldn't your ride a title potentially become your best friend, though In this situation. I'm just saying there's a little bit more to it. I know You're from the Bronx. You already know stuff. I know, I know where Ted's going. I know where Ted's going, all right, all right.
Ted Hicks:Yeah.
Mister B:I'm just saying, though, all right, I get it. You know what I mean I'm, you know. I mean I'm in a situation, you know. I mean, uh, I'm falling and I can't get up. I need, you know, I mean I need an upliftment here. You go right? Yeah, I got that all right, thank you. You know what I mean. But it's not just like you know, I mean compared to, well, your best friend, you know, we could talk, we could talk, we could do this. There's a slight difference between the two. I'm thinking about it. There is a slight difference between the two. I don't know what it is. They'll potentially eventually become that same person if you put the time in. Yeah, if the time is put in, they'll eventually become the same person.
Carmen Lezeth:My ride or die. My best friends are my ride or die I don't have With no expiration date.
Ted Hicks:There's no expiration date.
Carmen Lezeth:I don't know what that was about, Brian. There's no expiration date.
Mister B:To me a ride or die.
Carmen Lezeth:Next week it's over. You're no longer married. It's expired. It's been 30 years.
Rick Costa:To me a ride or die you could be stuck in a side road at two o'clock in the morning and they'll be there.
Mister B:They'll be there, yeah.
Rick Costa:My best friend will be like oh, I hate that for you oh come on, that's not your best friend.
Mister B:Sometimes your best friend could pop up out of nowhere. You know what I mean.
Carmen Lezeth:I feel like we have to have individual therapy sessions.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:I'm starting to feel like these men have had some really bad relationships, friends and partner-wise.
Brian McGauhey:tony agrees yeah, carmen, what's going?
Andrea Nunez:on with your friends and you're like what? Yeah right on that okay, so carmen could call me from freaking thailand at 2 am and I'd be on a plane trying to figure out how to help her yeah yes, right, yes. So, like you know, like, without even thinking, like, should I do this or not?
Ted Hicks:it would just be automatic so I so andrea, I mean this andrea, but go ahead okay and I can't butcher cynthia.
Ted Hicks:okay, so I have a couple of. I have a best friend. We've been friends for 40 plus years. We don't have to talk every day. We can get on the phone and just pick up from whenever. That to me is a definition of a best friend. If you're in need, or the example that was just given Now your ride or die is like, hey, I need an enema. You're in a situation and you're like, okay, I'm going to look for my significant other or my partner or whatever like that, but that person doesn't need to meet that best friend.
Carmen Lezeth:Would your best friend not do that for you? I mean, that's a little too much information.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:That's a crazy example. That is the best friend.
Andrea Nunez:That's a wild, crazy example, a real-life example real life example.
Carmen Lezeth:I had surgery and my best friend andrea helped me take a shower. No problem, wasn't even a question, because I could not do it myself, right? I did it for a week, helping me and making sure that I had everything I needed. That's the best. You know what Any one of my best friends would have done that.
Andrea Nunez:I don't have any friends who I wouldn't if I had to call and be like dude. I need an NMI. I need your help. All of my friends would come and help me if I needed them. I would be there for you, okay.
Carmen Lezeth:Okay, I just want you to know now NMA Ted, I just want you to know now Enema.
Mister B:Ted.
Ted Hicks:I wanted to go to an extreme. I wanted to go to a full extreme, to see like, okay, here's the difference, you know it would be.
Andrea Nunez:I mean knock on wood. I didn't have to make that call, but I got people. I'm call, but I got people.
Carmen Lezeth:I'm with Nancy. I got people. Yeah, I got people For real.
Joy Gouge:Yeah.
Brian McGauhey:I've been like a bloodshed.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:Is it weak?
Brian McGauhey:Yeah, but enema yeah.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:But is it because it's another male? Is that because I mean you got Andrea and Carmen would do it for each other, no questions asked. But is it because you're ride or die, or your best friend's another male? You mean to tell me you wouldn't do it nah, nah, my friend really needs it.
Mister B:You're going for it? Gotta go get it.
Ted Hicks:Cynthia, you know, I got really quiet right.
Joy Gouge:I was like hmm, are you guys any ride or dies because don't feel like it. Tony doesn't know what to say. Are you guys any Rad or nice? Don't be like it.
Mister B:Tony doesn't know what to say I'll get it, I'll get it. But if you're gonna Tell me, like yo, we gotta go with the Procedure, then I'm like hey, man, you're on your own, but that's what I'm gonna tell you. Be real with it. I'm gonna tell you that y'all be on your own, but I'll fight for you, I'll go get it.
Carmen Lezeth:If you need it. Maybe everyone's definitions are a little bit different as to what spouses and friendships, I think in the perfect world for me and the world that I live in. My best friend and my ride or die are pretty much exactly the same person. The reason why I'm single is because I don't want anything less than that in the man that's going to spend his life with me. Do you know what I mean? Like I have a standard that I and Brian, I think you should think that way too.
Mister B:I'm glad to hear the comments. What happened?
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:Brian should think that way too yeah.
Carmen Lezeth:Brian.
Brian McGauhey:Yeah. But here's the thing my standards are reasonable, carmen's standards. Not even the best Olympic pole vaulter can hit that bar.
Joy Gouge:You need a jet pack.
Brian McGauhey:For Carmen's standards. You need a jet pack. If not a jet pack, you need a plane. If not a plane, you get a damn shuttle.
Carmen Lezeth:I don't. What is he doing? I don't understand. Yes, you're absolutely right, the standard is way high. I don't even Wait.
Mister B:Yes, you're absolutely right, the standard is way high. I don't even Wait, wait, wait. I'm reasonable. Hold on hold, on, pardon, pardon. What exactly is the standard Where's?
Ted Hicks:the stage.
Brian McGauhey:Are you being generous?
Mister B:Well, you are. In general, that's her standard, because the way Brian says it is like it's unreachable. What's happening here? God bless that woman. Yeah, yeah, huh. What happened?
Rick Costa:God bless that woman, Nancy we have to shout out the comments.
Andrea Nunez:You guys Remember that.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:The comments are going crazy.
Carmen Lezeth:I don't understand what's happening. I just got lost so fast. You know someone who would never fart in front of her husband, god bless that woman. See, this is all the enema stuff. Man See, when you bring toilet stuff into the stream, this is what happens.
Brian McGauhey:Just take it easy on the fiber y'all.
Ted Hicks:Yeah me man.
Brian McGauhey:Talk some parsley Easy on the bread.
Carmen Lezeth:So, Brian, I'm going to answer the question because he asked me a question. You want to know what the standard is for me, or are you trying to figure out what the standard is for all women and why you're having maybe difficulties finding women?
Brian McGauhey:who want you for your money. All the above, I got time.
Ted Hicks:Yeah.
Mister B:Here we go. Run open Pandora's box, there we go am I missing?
Carmen Lezeth:is this really hard?
Brian McGauhey:I didn't knock the door. I didn't knock on the door, I kicked that door. Let's go, no, I I asked.
Mister B:I asked what was carmen's standards? Because of the way brian's over exaggerating, though that's what I know, that's what I because because it's time to go get our beers.
Carmen Lezeth:Tony and Brian always call me bougie. They say I'm so bougie because. Let me give you the example why. Again Because one time they were thinking about coming to California and I said I'll be happy to suggest some hotels and some places you can stay. I live in Santa Monica, california, on the beach, santa Monica, california, on the beach, santa Monica, nice. So I suggested hotels that Andrea Cynthia has stayed at and Andrea lives here as well. The normal hotel here would easily be one night like what? $500, $550 a night.
Ted Hicks:And we lost it.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:And they lost it and they have not let go of the whole bougie concept since then Can I just say, when I went to Santa Monica to visit Carmen, she hated the hotel I was in, oh my God, because it was literally across the street from the pier.
Mister B:May we ask which hotel it was please?
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:But it was only like. I think $200 a night.
Ted Hicks:Which hotel, cynthia, was it five star?
Carmen Lezeth:It was only, like I think, $200 a night.
Ted Hicks:Cynthia, was it five star?
Carmen Lezeth:It was four stars, that's the reason why it was also across from the pier. Did you hear that part? And, cynthia, what else was broken? You?
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:didn't have a pool. They were renovating the pool, so we didn't have a pool.
Carmen Lezeth:And I had to go pick you up and go around around the world, even though you're 10 minutes from me. I had to go around the world to go pick you up because it is like the the crowd anyway. If you're gonna ask me where you want to stay in santa monica, or you ask andrea, you ask anyone you want to stay in santa monica at the beach, I'm gonna tell you where you should stay because these are beautiful hotels here. But and again it again it's not even Santa Monica. I don't like. When I go to New York, I stay in Soho, I stay in Tribeca. That is the luxury, my people, of not having children. Okay, that's the other part that you don't need to understand. I don't have to spend my money or worry about taking care of kids or whatever, so I can do things like fly first class or those are choices I make.
Mister B:Thank you, man. Thank you, you have the option to pamper yourself. I'm just saying, and that's not a crime.
Andrea Nunez:It's not a crime.
Mister B:If that's how you want to do things, it's not a crime.
Andrea Nunez:Check out and say that she has lived a life and she has earned, she deserves to get what she wants and to be bougie and all of those things. And so, whatever her standards are, like, yeah, someone should meet those standards, and if they don't guess what, she's fine without them.
Carmen Lezeth:It's okay and I'm not taking money out of your pocket, brian. Until then, remember it's all about the joy. Everyone Bye, good night, bye. Thanks for stopping by. All About the Joy. Be better and stay beautiful folks. Have a sweet day.