All About The Joy
All About The Joy is a weekly hang-out with friends in the neighborhood! We share insight, advice, funny-isms and we choose to always try and find the positive, the silver lining, the "light" in all of it. AATJ comes from the simple concept that at the end of the day we all want to have more JOY than not. So, this is a cool place to unwind, have a laugh and share some time with friends!
All About The Joy
An Honest Conversation: Pet Peeves, Paycheck Problems and Homelessness
Ever had that boss who calls from five doors down instead of walking to your office? Or that friend who swears they'll support your podcast but never actually listens? You're not alone.
In this unfiltered conversation, we unpack the everyday annoyances that quietly drive us crazy. From workplace micromanagers who expect mind-reading abilities to friends who make empty promises of support, we explore how these small frustrations reveal deeper truths about human connection and expectations.
The discussion takes unexpected turns as we examine how cultural backgrounds shape our pet peeves around resource conservation—like washing plastic bags or turning off lights—and how our reactions to art reveal more about ourselves than the artwork. When one host admits their frustration with people criticizing films without appreciating the creative effort involved, it sparks a thoughtful reflection on respecting creative processes even when the result isn't to our taste.
Most poignantly, the conversation expands into societal failings around homelessness and poverty. Through personal anecdotes and hypothetical scenarios, we challenge prevailing narratives about why people become unhoused, reminding listeners that in a country of such abundance, no one should lack basic necessities like shelter or electricity.
What begins as lighthearted venting evolves into a profound exploration of human compassion, cultural differences, and the values that shape our daily interactions. Whether you're nodding along in agreement or questioning your own pet peeves, this episode invites you to look beyond irritations to the human connections beneath them.
Subscribe to our YouTube channel under Carmen Lezeth, visit aatjoy.com for all our links, and join us live on Friday nights at 6 PM Pacific/9 PM Eastern to become part of the conversation.
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Music By Geovane Bruno, Moments, 3481
Editing by Team A-J
Host, Carmen Lezeth
DISCLAIMER: As always, please do your own research and understand that the opinions in this podcast and livestream are meant for entertainment purposes only. States and other areas may have different rules and regulations governing certain aspects discussed in this podcast. Nothing in our podcast or livestream is meant to be medical or legal advice. Please use common sense, and when in doubt, ask a professional for advice, assistance, help and guidance.
Hi everybody, welcome to All that Joy.
Carmen Lezeth:Hello, the private lounge. We're over here like 10 minutes into a conversation. Hey, Cynthia's in the house how you guys doing. Doing, good Doing good, all right, you guys are going to keep being chatty, right, like you just were.
Cynthia Lopez:I wanted to talk a little bit about pet peeves, which might go into some of what we were talking about earlier today with work, I got a whole lot.
Carmen Lezeth:Oh no, cynthia did her homework. I sure did Start with you, Gaia.
Cynthia Lopez:Oh, pet peeves, when are we starting? Go ahead, oh, pet peeves, where are we starting From work, work, work, pet peeves.
Carmen Lezeth:We can just start with all the pet peeves that mother. Cynthia, let's start with work. Let's start with work.
Cynthia Lopez:Let's see what do I have here. Work, oh, micromanaging. I hate micromanaging, but the worst part about it is when they do it over the phone and can't even get up from their desk to walk five doors down to your office to talk to you. They call you. Did you do this? Oh, what about this? How about that, knowing you already did it I know.
Carmen Lezeth:Yeah, I hate micromanaging as well and I try not to do it.
Cynthia Lopez:but yeah, I, my clients do that to me all the time, michael but in my situation it's like we went from having two employees in my office me and the other woman doing all this work and now it's just me. For the past what month now? And it's like in a month you haven't even tried to come and help me or find me any help, but you're going to micromanage me, knowing I'm doing everything correctly, because the doctor is aware I'm doing everything correctly and is very pleased with my work. I'm sorry.
Rick Costa:I'm sorry. Just today I get a call from the hefe and he's like what about this order? And I'm like what order? Please enlighten me. He always never gives me all the details so I can figure out what are you talking about. Or he'll be like looking at something. He's like did you take care of this guy? And I'm like who, what? And it might not have been today. I'm like, give me a second to figure out what you're talking about. Since you ain't gonna tell me, I gotta figure it out and you're wasting time mind reading.
Carmen Lezeth:That's a whole other one. So for this, micromanaging is like you're supposed to be a mind reader with these motherfuckers.
Rick Costa:My clients do that all the time so like well, did you tell the shipping guy about this? How's it supposed to ship? And I was like yeah, I sent him a message on Teams. Go look, oh, okay, yeah, yeah. Well, make sure you stay on top of this. Okay, I'm like now you feel stupid, so you have nothing to say, just stay on top of it.
Carmen Lezeth:I can't stand that. I can't stand that. My thing is is the mind reading, though, Like one of my clients will be like um, Carmen, uh, that report that we talked about. This man is constantly with motherfucking reports. Like every five minutes it's a new report he needs and then I'll be like I'll, I'll get to it, it's on the list. I always say it's on the list Cause the list is, like you know, 35 things long. And then like randomly out of nowhere, like I'll be walking by to go to the bathroom or something, and he'll just ask me and I'm supposed to knock top my head not only which report that he's talking about, but whatever numbers. And I'm not that person. Everybody knows I am not somebody who retains shit in my head, especially shit that don't matter to me in my life, Like I don't care about your business, I work for you, but I need to go look it up. I'm not retaining that shit. He gets so mad.
Rick Costa:There's another thing he calls yesterday. He goes about. A month ago I told you to go through. It's our biggest customer and there's a lot of old credit cards in there and it doesn't. We can't see the credit card number, except for the last four numbers and the expiration. So it's like you know I ain't gonna see that part, but it's like there's so many old ones in there. Can you go through that today? And I'm like today, how many is in there since 2019? Okay, so I did. I spent like literally half the day doing it, and then the next day I'm going to lie. I forgot about it. Plus, it's not a huge priority. There's nothing customer-wise needed to do right now. Right, well, I see a whole bunch of them still in here. Did you ever do it? I was like I spent half the day doing it, and so then I was like, let me see if I can finish it now. It it was maybe like 15 left to go out of 300, maybe. I'm like what the heck?
Carmen Lezeth:It's never good enough. It's never good enough. What about unnecessary meetings? We have those all the time. Meetings that can be 15 minutes like should just be 15 minutes. Yep minutes like should just be 15 minutes.
Cynthia Lopez:Yep, and it shouldn't be a powerpoint presentation where they're just reading what's on the screen so that you could just send it to me in an email. I can print it out if I need it and I can read it myself.
Carmen Lezeth:Yeah, for sure. I think that's a big, a big one, a big waste of time that people do. I think that's a power thing, yeah.
Cynthia Lopez:I need everyone. They're so monotone. If they're so monotone and I'm there like falling asleep and I'm just like, oh my God, if you're not excited about this, how can I be?
Carmen Lezeth:Okay, that's just wrong. But I think it's a, it's like a power thing where people are like you know, oh, we have to have a meeting, let's sit down, let's have, let's uh schedule me something. And, like I always see, one of my clients is always telling their assistant uh, schedule me something, just fit it in, fit it in. And I'm like bitch, we don't need to have no conversation with him, it's all good, he can call me tomorrow between nine and ten and I can tell him everything he need to know. You know what I mean. Like there is no need. Or I can just walk over there right now, tell him while he's sitting there doing nothing, and tell him we don't need to get 25 people together. It is annoying.
Rick Costa:The unnecessary meetings are used to do that, but of course I work from home, so he would just put it on speakerphone and they'd have their meeting. Like I barely hear what they're saying because they're probably not even near the phone, and I'm like, okay, listening for something pertinent.
Carmen Lezeth:To me. That's a big reason for why people want people back in the office, though, too, I do believe there is something beneficial to having people in the office, but I think it has to be a hybrid situation, if it can be at this point in time. I mean, your job's a little bit different, cynthia, because you work in pathology and there are medical fields and you know like you can't do construction from home. You know what I mean. If you work in the construction field or whatever, you probably have to do that on site. I'm just saying, but there are some jobs that can be done on a hybrid situation. But I do think part of the creative process, especially when you're with a team of people, is very different than when you're on a Zoom call.
Carmen Lezeth:I think our energy would be really cool if we were in person or not. We might actually hate each other. You know what I mean. I know right. What about pet peeves you have with friends? Everyone here, included, of course, everyone here. Like, what is your pet peeve with Mario and Alma? No, just in general, do you guys have pet peeves With some of your friends?
Cynthia Lopez:When they don't. Two of them One, when they don't listen, like they'll come to you with all their issues and want you to listen and give them all the advice, but when it's your turn, oh, I'm too busy or I gotta do this or, you know, they just don't have time to listen to your drama. And the other one is knowing, knowing your audience, like, for instance, if they're your friends, they should know what type of music you listen to. Right, and let's say they're going to a concert and it's a genre that you just don't like if it's a country, country music which we all know I love, why?
Cynthia Lopez:and I say, carmen, I have tickets, let's go to the country, a country thing and you say that right, and you and you say no, right, and then I never ask you again to go to any other type of concert. It's's like if you know I don't like that, why invite me to that? But then, once that I do like you don't invite me to, right, you know so.
Rick Costa:Speaking of listening, like a pet peeve of mine is. So let's say I said to my friend I'm Marco Polo, Cause I like that video thing, you could just record it and they watch whenever at their convenience, and back and forth. And I'd be like I'll say, oh, my mom had to go to the hospital for some. Make an example, I'm going to go to the hospital. He's not fully listening. And then he'll come back and be like oh, I'm sorry, your mom got the sniffles. I'm like I said she went to the hospital.
Carmen Lezeth:What is wrong with you? You're not listening clearly. Yeah that's attention For those people who don't know what Marco Polo is, because I swear to God, rick, you're the only person I know who uses Marco Polo. It's like WhatsApp or Signal, which is you can just leave a voice note or you can leave a video message and then somebody can answer you back at their own convenience. I've never heard of Marco Polo until Rick said it, and I've never heard anyone else talk about it. I think it's your own secret app.
Carmen Lezeth:I think, one of my pet peeves with my friends. First of all, I don't think I have that many friends. I have a lot more acquaintances than I do friends, but that's a whole other conversation. But I'll say this I think a lot of people mean well, but they don't follow through. So a lot of my friends, or a lot of acquaintances, will say things like no, I got you, I support you, I'm a subscribe to your sub stack. Like I got you, carmen, I'll subscribe to your YouTube or whatever it is. I support you a hundred percent. But then they don't do it. And then what's worse is you do it again and they don't do it. And it's like you don't have to support my stuff. But also, don't kiss my ass in front of me. You know what I mean, because I'll tell you what I'm not going to support your shit. If I don't want to support your shit, I'm not. I'm not going to lie to you about it.
Carmen Lezeth:Like I'm trying to think who is it that I recently said? Well, you know what. I'll use an example here. This isn't what I was thinking of. But, rick, you and I, we get along on so many levels, but one of the things I don't really do is and you know I am supporting you right now because I'm a promote, rick Costacom but you have a whole religious kind of thing that you do on an everyday, but it's just not my thing. So I'm not going to pretend and be like I got you. I'm going to support you, whatever right. You know how I feel about it Now. I support you as a person and in your creativity, and I support you because I know you're not doing no harm to nobody. You know what I mean and so. But you see what I'm saying, right, like there's no lies between us. But people will continuously be like yes, I will support everything you do, Carmen, and I'm like so how come you're not on our YouTube channel? All about the joy. How come you don't listen to our podcast?
Rick Costa:I learned this when I was on the periscope days. Public service announcement if you go do stuff online, your friends and family will not be there. But why? It's crazy like if they did it I would.
Carmen Lezeth:But unless I didn't agree with it, 100 like I come and visit your show. I just want for the, for the listening. I do come and visit your show and I do listen once in a while. You know that because I'll come in and say hi, especially when you do the games, because I like that part. But yeah, then why say that you're going to support someone 100% if you're not going to? Yeah, exactly.
Rick Costa:That's annoying.
Cynthia Lopez:I feel like Cynthia's being very quiet because she's one of those people who says she's going to support stuff. Is that what's happening? No, no, no. Another thing I don't like and this is just a general thing is like with anybody friends, family, whoever is if you go out to dinner, you go to the movies or whatever, they're just on the phone, always on their phone. But then when you say, oh, did you get my text? No, I never got it, really, because you're always on your phone you know what?
Carmen Lezeth:I love Andrea with all my heart, but she does that shit all the time. I'll be like did you get my email or my text? And she'll be like oh, I've been so busy. But when we go out to dinner she is one of those people who's like one second. I'm like do I have a different? Like is there some notification sound? That's like it's just Carmen. Ignore that shit. Here goes the spam. I love her with all my heart but I'm like, okay, you just ignored me because you know I'm good, like whatever, but she does that shit all the time. I thought you were gonna say something else.
Carmen Lezeth:I can't stand when you go out with quote-unquote family and friends to dinner and we all about to eat, and then people be all cheap and shit, like do not go out with me and start splitting that fucking bill based on like um, I only had water and a salad. Like don't come to eat with me then don't. You know what I mean? Like I don't mind splitting the bill if that's the agreement we had at the beginning, but I cannot stand cheap people. I can't stand it, and if we don't go eat, we're gonna go eat. Don't come and eat, no water and salad, because you can't just say you can't afford it, then I'll pay the shit. Do you know what I mean? Like I, okay, you know how I am something when it comes to food. So wait, do you guys, when you guys go out to eat, do you guys normally split the bill, or what do you do, because maybe I'm out of touch with things? I don't know you, okay, but do you split it, like based on what you ate, or do you? No, evenly?
Cynthia Lopez:Just if there's four of us, I split it between the four of us, okay.
Carmen Lezeth:Right, I usually will pick up the bill. I will. I usually will just pick up the bill If I'm going out to eat, like, and I said, let's go out to eat because I like to eat. But yeah, rick, to eat because I like to eat. But yeah, rick, what's your flavor when it comes to food? I know you don't go out to eat a lot, but Right, right, right.
Rick Costa:I mean as far as the bill like. As soon as they come and start asking us what you want, I immediately say how are we paying for this?
Carmen Lezeth:Oh, no, okay.
Rick Costa:Because some people they'll be like lobster shrimp several cups of wine. I'm like, okay, I'm a little bit hungry, but I, what are you doing?
Carmen Lezeth:okay, okay, okay. I just want to be clear right now, rick, if we ever going out to eat like when we all get together at our studio, wherever and you, you know what I mean we're doing our in-studio podcast, live stream or whatever and we go out to eat, you will not say that I got you. Okay, I will pay for it.
Cynthia Lopez:Okay, we're not going to be ghetto Me and Carmen will already have talked about it. We'll be like if I got it or you got it, I know, and we'll deal with it. After We'll deal with it.
Carmen Lezeth:Cause I don't look at I grew up poor. I mean, I guess we all kind of did, but I grew up poor and I think what I don't like is the stigma that comes with that and it's also, I think, being a woman of color who grew up poor. There's also this thing like I don't want you to ever believe in one any way, shape or form, that I am cheap, All the stereotypes that you think about poor people and I do think that's where it comes from. I will stand on whatever it is that I have to in order to make sure you understand that I am not cheap, like, and if that means I can't go out to dinner with you cause I can't afford it, I'm going to tell you straight up. You know what. I can't afford it today, but have a lovely time, but I'm sure as hell not going to go to dinner and then be like today. But have a lovely time, but I'm sure as hell not gonna go to dinner and then be like um, um, can I just have a water?
Rick Costa:no, no I think in my case, because there's certain family members that will take advantage of that, and they will every time, and they already know their cheap period in life and they will order $40, $50 worth of food, knowing they're only going to have to pay $20.
Carmen Lezeth:Okay, but why would you go? Okay. So this is where you and I are different, and I think Cynthia is the same way. Why would you go out to dinner with them again, like, show me once.
Rick Costa:Family. Thing. Oh yeah, I know.
Carmen Lezeth:We could be family, but we ain't going to dinner Like Cynthia.
Cynthia Lopez:You could always. But Rick, you can always say, like, if you guys do that dinner again, say to the waiter, can my check be separate? Yeah, I've done that.
Carmen Lezeth:You can do separate checks. That's cool too. I'm going to go to the bathroom.
Rick Costa:I'll be right back. Hey, bro, right.
Carmen Lezeth:Oh, I'll be right back. Hey, brooke, right, oh yeah, but Cynthia, you know there are people I will not go to dinner with. I will not go to dinner with people. Cynthia knows who they are. I will not go to dinner with certain people. You showed me once who you is. We done, yep, not doing it. Oh, that's interesting. What else? Other things with family?
Carmen Lezeth:I was talking about, um, just things that I remember growing up, kind of uh, it wasn't my pet peeve, but I would get yelled at if I didn't take the lights off. You know what I mean. Like, I remember that was like a and so now I have a habit of doing that, to the extent that one of the people I work with the other day, she's like every time you leave my office, you turn the lights off and I'm like I'm sorry, I think no matter where I am, I'm always taking off lights. So she, actually she, she was right, cause she'll just go to the bathroom and then I'll be getting up to leave, like, cause I'm, I'm not there all day. You know what I mean. I visit my client and I'll get my bags up and I'll just turn off the lights and lock and shut the door and she'll come back from the bathroom and like what are you doing? It is her office, I'm just visiting.
Cynthia Lopez:Oh my God, I'm the same way. I hate it. So one has a tendency of leaving the light on in the bathroom, and it drives me crazy. Oh yeah, no. Oh my God, it drives me. It drives me crazy. Oh yeah, no. Oh my God, it drives me up the wall.
Carmen Lezeth:Okay, we're the problem, we're the problem. You know what I mean. Like, I am the problem, I am the drama, I'm the drama.
Rick Costa:In my case, it used to be mom that did that, and now we've reverted. Now I'm the one that's like why is this on? Why are you going to leave this TV on in your bedroom? You ain't going to be in your bedroom until tonight. Why are you doing that? But Portuguese people, first generation Portuguese people, we are very interesting because we say things that drive Americans crazy, like open, close the lights. Can you open the light? Can you close the light? And everybody's like really, open the light? Oh, because it's the translation. Like because in portuguese you do say it that way, but in english you don't. That doesn't make sense. To turn on or turn off, you don't open and close the light. So it's like a funny thing with us.
Carmen Lezeth:I think it happens too, though, because I think, but also because she's polish, she's from poland, she has some of those word changes as well, because it's you're directly translating instead of is it idioms or whatever. You know, there are all these idioms in certain languages. Yeah, that's funny. Turn open the light. Is that what you say? Oh, you say open the light.
Rick Costa:Open or close the light, yeah.
Carmen Lezeth:Oh my God, that's funny. All right, pet peeves in relationships, let's get down and dirty. Okay, all right, I'll make it easy With friends, with friends with friends.
Rick Costa:I mean, it could be similar, you know.
Carmen Lezeth:Friends or lovers? What is your pet peeve with Juan? Let's just talk about Juan.
Cynthia Lopez:Let's see the light switch. No, don't talk about wine.
Carmen Lezeth:No. What are pet peeves, though, with anything like relationships, friends?
Cynthia Lopez:this might sound weird, right, but like if I'm hosting a dinner in my house, like for Thanksgiving, let's say and you know I've never been invited to, but go ahead. Oh hush Um. And let's say you know I want to clean up or everyone's, you know putting their dishes away, whatever, and somebody starts cleaning my kitchen and starts washing the dishes.
Rick Costa:I don't like that.
Cynthia Lopez:I know that they're trying to help me, but it's like I want to do that Leave it alone.
Carmen Lezeth:Enjoy the time that's you being anal. That's not being about me.
Rick Costa:I love it. Go clean my bathroom too, while you're at it.
Carmen Lezeth:High five, baby, don't leave me hanging Bitch clean, go ahead. High five, baby, don't leave me hanging right, bitch clean, go ahead. No, no, I I hear you, but here's the thing. I think again not to be bringing up andrea. I think mia's, oh, mia too, mia and andrea, they're all the same way.
Carmen Lezeth:But you have to tell people because from my point of view, especially when I went to like I used to always go to Mia's in New York, right In Pennsylvania, to go for Thanksgiving and I mean, and her husband would pay for my first class flight out there and hotel, so I didn't have to stay with them with their children, like that's how sweet they were. So you think I'm going to walk into her house and eat and not be like how can I clean and help. Think I'm going to walk into her house and eat and not be like how can I clean and help? I know it was such a kindness that they were making sure I was with them and they were and he was paying. So you want to help. But you know, at one point Mia was like it's all good, carmen, just go relax. You feel me. And I was like she tried to spin it like I'm family, but she's like bitch, get the hell out my kitchen is what I was hearing. That was the subtext.
Cynthia Lopez:But it's funny though, because when I do go to other people's houses, I always want to help them clean up. Yeah, it's a weird thing.
Carmen Lezeth:How come you don't just tell people? You should just tell them. I know now.
Cynthia Lopez:I tell them, just leave it there. And they're like no, no, no, it's fine, I'm like oh, you're talking about Teresa huh, no, I just. What are you talking about? You're talking about Teresa. Oh no, I have my pet peeves with her. Yeah, okay.
Carmen Lezeth:Again, we're not talking about individual people in a negative way. Teresa, no, no, what are your pet peeves? But? Teresa's always kind that way. No, no, what are your pet peeves, but? But?
Cynthia Lopez:she's always kind that way. She always wants to clean. Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, my it's. It's funny. It's a funny thing that I have with her a pet peeve is that she always wants to save paper towels, like she'll reuse the paper towels. She doesn't want to waste them and I'm like throw it away yeah, okay, yeah, yeah, that's that's.
Carmen Lezeth:That's. That's a weird ism, but I think that's from culture, that's from growing up poor in honduras and wanting to save everything. Like you know, I have somebody who saves plastic bags, so, like, let's say, you put um, you put I don't know, like whatever, you put nuts. I forget what I had. Like cas, I had like cashews in a, in a baggie, like a sandwich bag or whatever, because you know, the box was this big and there was only so I put them in a sandwich bag or whatever.
Carmen Lezeth:And so when we were finished eating I think it was cashews or something, we're finishing the cashews I went to go throw the thing, I put it on the counter and the next, like the next minute later, she, she was in there and I'm just saying who it is washing out the plastic sandwich bag like a Ziploc sandwich bag, putting it inside out and then putting it in the rack for it to dry so I can use it again. She's like it was just nuts and I'm like, yeah, but they were in, I don't know. They're like she's right, she's right, but you throw it out. Here in the united states we waste a lot but they're not wrong. But I still can't, I can't like wouldn't you?
Cynthia Lopez:guys throw it away I would throw it away, juan would save it.
Carmen Lezeth:Oh really, he would, because it was just nuts, it was just cashews.
Cynthia Lopez:Yeah, and I'm always there throwing it away.
Carmen Lezeth:Yeah, that Paper towels is hard though, because that's wet and you and it's dirty, oh, but it's drying it, it's drying yeah.
Rick Costa:I'll never forget watching Oprah one time. Look at Rick's face. I guess the show was about cheap people and there was a guy that he would take the toilet, roll the entire thing and split it if it was a two-ply. Oh stop it and he put it up and Oprah's like but wouldn't you just double it up anyway? Isn't that a stupid waste of time?
Carmen Lezeth:Right, that's crazy. Right, because you could just take one little piece of the two ply. Right, we're going down a whole other road. I don't want to, but here's the thing I'm going to just say, because I do want to defend people. I actually the people I'm talking about. I don't think it's about being cheap, because Teresa is not cheap no, she's not, she's not cheap at all but it's about culture, it's about growing up and learning that. And here's the thing. You know what the truth is. I mean, we all would throw it away with the cashews. Right, I had cashews in the bag, but she's not wrong, and this wasn't Teresa, this was somebody else. They're not wrong. It was just cash. You could save it and use it for something else.
Cynthia Lopez:But I think because as Americans, we don't really recycle in that way and we really were not thoughtful in that way- yeah, there was, was actually there was a meme saying you know, um, it was, and it was about latinos, latinos saving the planet. One paper towel or a t-shirt at a time, and you see them saving the paper towel, saving the plastic bag, using an old t-shirt as a mop, yeah. Or like to clean the furniture and stuff like that, which is what we used to do as kids, yeah, and you just wash it and reuse it.
Carmen Lezeth:Well, a t-shirt is better to clean anyway. People don't understand that. For the like I, I'm going to be careful what I say when my home is clean. That's actually what they're using they because it's old school, but it's better because it picks up all the dust better and everything too. So that's that's also smart. But it's better because it picks up all the dust better and everything too. So that's also smart. But yeah, it's true, I think there's a lot of things. I think we waste a lot as Americans, but we also, you know and I'm saying this as an American myself we're also not that smart because those things actually work. I did not know we were going to go down this avenue, basically dissing all Americans and how we function in society. Sorry.
Rick Costa:I thought another pet peeve we already mentioned this with jobs is the mind reading thing, like I can't tell you how many times with relationship. You should just know.
Carmen Lezeth:Oh yeah.
Rick Costa:But I didn't Right. You should, yeah, but I didn't Right. You should know, but I didn't. And then I have a whole big fight about something I didn't know, because I'm not a mind reader unless you tell me.
Carmen Lezeth:I don't know. Is that the difference between men and women, though? Remember that whole book, Mars vs Venus, or something, where they talk about how men communicate in caves? I don't even know. I don't remember the book. I did read it once, but I read and I think there were some aspects of it. On reading it, as a woman on the man's side, I got it. It's about how to communicate with each other. You know and I'm actually the type of person even though I talk a lot, I do when I'm in a relationship and we get into a fight and you guys know this, cause I've had little arguments with each of you I need a minute. I'm not going to keep fighting with you. I will be quiet and need to get away for a day or so and then we can get back to it. And Cynthia, Cynthia is.
Cynthia Lopez:What about me?
Carmen Lezeth:You are, when we have our little. We had, I think, one fight yeah.
Cynthia Lopez:One argument.
Carmen Lezeth:Was it one argument? Do you remember? I don't even remember what it was about. I don't even remember. I don't remember. But Cynthia gets mad, she doesn't want to talk to you at all, she just gets really quiet.
Rick Costa:I took you in a little bit of a retreat mode. The other day we were talking about La La Land and you were the only one that liked it.
Cynthia Lopez:Oh right.
Rick Costa:He's like I hate it and Cindy's like yes. And you're like huh.
Carmen Lezeth:Well, here's my thing about that. So, you're right, I do, because I'm not going to fight with people and I'm certainly not going to fight with a majority of people about something. And I'm going to say this as with and I know it's going to get people really upset.
Carmen Lezeth:I know, when it comes to art, I think Hating something, it's kind of like you know we can run, I say I hate country music, but I would never disrespect it and I would never. I would never dismiss it or dismiss other people for hating it. You know what I mean Like, and I actually respect country music. You know as much as I can around about hating it or whatever, and I think that's what it is. You know it's kind of, um, I don't like when people all right, I'm going to defend it this way as well when you're on a movie set and you see how much work it takes to create something so magnificent, and then you see something like La La Land or whatever it is it doesn't matter Star Trek, it doesn't matter whatever it is you want to, when you see how it's made, even if it's bad, you know how much work it took to do it.
Carmen Lezeth:And I will honestly tell you, la La Land may not be your flavor, but it's one of those movies or one of those moments in time where people either love it or they hate it. It just is what it is. You know what I mean and I'm just saying respect it. And I think that's that's what you felt. There was.
Carmen Lezeth:A part of me was heartbroken by hearing and I know we're being funny and it was funny, whatever but it first of all, I was shocked at that much like of all the movies you could pick to hate. I was like, threw me for a loop, you know. But I think that's kind of the thing too is like for me. I'm also. You know I studied film in college. Uh, I, you know, y'all know I came out here to be a I I love film. So there are very few films that you're ever going to hear me talk about in that negative kind of nasty way. It would never. I would never. I may not like something, I may dislike it. It may not be my genre. It may not be something I think is well-made, but I would never be that angst about it. Does that make sense? And I know you guys are being funny, but I you know, and the fucking mario was hilarious. I think I did the clip for that right because it was so funny, um, but yeah what?
Rick Costa:movie was that?
Carmen Lezeth:because we didn't say it in the clip yeah, yeah, oh, the first clip because I used it as a teaser, the first clip for the, for people to come and see the sunday show, because that's see, I'm trying to do. I'm trying to do new things trying to do new things.
Carmen Lezeth:But yeah, I mean, that's kind of a great example. Like you know, one of my clients, you know, screamed and yelled at me and two other people in a meeting and everyone's first reaction is they think I'm going to get up and start screaming back, or I'm going to, you know, and I I get up and walked away, you know, and I'm just like when, when you can respect me, we can have a conversation, but I'm not going to scream back and forth with people. I mean, I've done it, but you know what I'm saying. So, yeah, yeah, I need a minute.
Rick Costa:I think I tend to not automatically trash something. I instead go to. But what if we did it like this, and I the possibilities and like, oh, this could be better, like this, instead of just trashing something that's trashed, I don't like it. My brain goes to how could we have made it better?
Carmen Lezeth:like, that's kind of how my brain goes to or is it possible that it's just not your thing. Like I don't have to make anything better. Like it doesn't matter how much you love whatever horror movie you love, like there is nothing going to make it better, except that it's a different movie, that isn't about horror. It's just not my thing. It's also like when I go to the museum or something and I see you know, uh, who who is. Is it picasso? Is it? Is it Picasso? Who did all the kind of I don't know. It's not just abstract, but it's like everyone's face is like crooked, yeah, picasso. And everyone's like, oh my God. And I'm like, yeah, not my thing, I see nothing in that.
Carmen Lezeth:For me, I think it's weird, it's deranged, it makes no sense. And yet if you look at Pollock and if you don't know who Pollock is but Pollock did all the drops of paint on canvas which is just like chaotic mess and he was an alcoholic and he's probably high half the time when he was doing it. But for me that's also considered abstract art. But for me I love it because it's colorful, I see patterns, even though there's in chaos and even though in my head and in my heart that makes sense to me, that, to me Picasso is ridiculous, like in my I mean not ridiculous, I respect the art, but you know what I mean Like I have no joy in it. I'm like, yeah, that doesn't work for me, but yet Pollock is just a mess of and I'm like that's lovely, I would pay $1 million for that, right yeah, yeah, when I first saw Picasso's stuff not realizing that's kind of a style in and of itself yeah, my first thought was whose four-year-old drew that?
Carmen Lezeth:I agree. I mean, look, I'm not trying to diss Picasso, I'm just saying that's kind of the difference. But yeah, I had the same feeling and the same kind of, and also I kept thinking, like this is somebody with like issues of the human spirit. That's where I went, like why else would you break up someone's face and do that? And and you know, and again, that's what art does, that's the beauty of it, you know?
Rick Costa:um, yeah, yeah, it was shocking and they have somebody sell something for like a ton of money and it was all it was was a banana with tape to the wall or something, or that's the most I'm like you are kidding me yeah.
Carmen Lezeth:And then they did a Super Bowl commercial with Chris Hemsworth eating the banana. That was the art piece. You didn't see it. Yes, it's like all the Chris's. I think it was like Chris Hemsworth or Chris Pratt or something, I don't know. I don't know who was in the commercial, but basically they're walking around a museum or something. I don't know who was in the commercial, but basically they're walking around a museum or something and all of a sudden you know they see that piece, which is the banana with the silver tape across it, and they're like whatever. And then you know they shoot to something else. And then Chris comes over with the banana and he's eating it, and then the other I forget who the other actor was. I don't know why. I think it's Chris Pratt.
Rick Costa:Chris Pratt.
Carmen Lezeth:I don know who the other actor was. I don't know why.
Carmen Lezeth:I think it's chris pratt, chris parrot, I don't know who it was, but the other actor's like what did you do? And he's like I was hungry or something. Yeah, I look at. That's a great example of a piece of art that I honestly I don't get why it's so like enough for people to spend millions of dollars. I don't get. I understand why the artist made the piece, even if it's, but why would anyone want to buy that for millions of dollars? Like you could do it yourself at home. I could do it myself.
Rick Costa:I think it's like a one-time, like a first time one-time thing, cause then, oh, I'm going to do that too and we'll put a tape on the Apple, whatever, but nobody's going to care because it's already been done before.
Carmen Lezeth:I know, but then, but I know, but I don't. But you see what I'm saying, like so then I don't get it right. Like I'm over here like being like can you subscribe to my sub stack? Don't worry about paying like eight dollars a month or something, just do the free one. And here are people putting a fucking banana with a piece of tape over and getting billions of dollars, you know. And here I am spending like four days writing my first article. I'm just saying it's just interesting. That's the brilliance of art, right um so yeah, I I will say.
Carmen Lezeth:Getting back to the pet peeve thing, I think that's one of my pet peeves is when people disrespect especially. It's not just art, but for me, because I love film so much, it hurts me, I don't know. But that's why you saw me retreat when that happened. First of all I was shook by the movie, but it it was also like I've always loved Hollywood, it's always been a part of me. And being on set I mean you guys have been on set, you've seen movies being shot or whatever, and it's fascinating, right. And I think when you see how many thousands of people especially for La La Land, but for any movie that it takes to just create a movie, even if it's horror, I'm like okay, not my thing, but respect, I'd love to film a movie and I'm hoping to create at least a script for it and I would love to do that. But it takes a lot of work and a lot of money.
Rick Costa:Yeah, and a lot of people.
Carmen Lezeth:Now I'm sad, I'm like I'm never going to be able to, you know, to create a movie or something I want to. I think it'd be so cool. I have a storyline and in place to do it and yeah, again it's that thing. Like you know what my pet peeve is? Can I tell you that everything takes money. You don't have money, you can't do, do jack unless you got a banana I was.
Carmen Lezeth:Somebody has to give you the money for that banana with the. She got a banana. Somebody has to give you the money for that banana with the. What's that silver tape called? I keep calling it silver tape. Duct tape, duct tape. Yeah, I keep calling it.
Rick Costa:That's all it was. It was just plain duct tape, it's a banana with duct tape.
Carmen Lezeth:And here's the thing you have to change out the banana every few months that's part of the art piece because the banana is rotten. You few months, that's part of the art piece because you're ripe. I'm like, I'm just saying I think one of my pet peeves is that the world functions on money. And, um, I still wouldn't do anything differently than the way I have done it my entire life, because it's all I could do is pursue my dreams the way I could. Um, because somebody was asking me the other day, would you say it's all I could do is pursue my dreams the way I could.
Carmen Lezeth:Because somebody was asking me the other day, would you say it's more important for young people today to try to make as much money as possible before they pursue their dream. And I'm like I don't even know if I could have ever done that. I don't think I could have ever just been like, okay, my focus has to be making a lot of money and then I'll go and pursue my dream. Because I don't. I think when you have a passion and a dream, that's what encompasses you, but this world is all about money and unless you know somebody who gives a real shit about your banana and duct tape art piece.
Rick Costa:I think that's why we like Star Trek so much, because that's, that's passe. There is no. Oh, let me get paid. No, pay, what's that? What's that?
Carmen Lezeth:Well, the power structure is different, right? I mean, I think that's kind of what it is. And I mean so we're only talking about the enterprise, the world of the enterprise we see, and what we think the Federation is like, right, and what the world is like. Cynthia is like do I even need to be here? But you, you've seen star trek, so you understand. But money, there's no, there's not a money thing. It's not like oh I, I need to create a shakespearean play and I have to charge people. No, you just go and work on and then you invite people and you do your thing, you know.
Carmen Lezeth:But I said this the other day if it wasn't money, it would be something else in order to succeed, because it seems to be the way in which humans are. Everything is about if I give you something, you have to give me something in return to get that thing. If I give you something, you have to give me something in return to get that thing Right. So, if you need wood to make your house and I have the wood I can't just give it to you for free, because maybe I need eggs and maybe you have a chicken or something. I don't know.
Carmen Lezeth:I'm not trying to be so simplistic about it, but when you think about how this, especially in our country capitalism, how it all started, I mean, I think that's kind of the thing is, we don't do things just to do them out of the graciousness of our heart and because we want you to succeed, which is what the story of Star Trek is right. It's like they want Data to succeed so badly at being human. They're like, yes, read this book, yes, try this, yes, play this, this musical instrument. And so he just does it. They do that because they want him to succeed. We don't do that in this country especially, but we don't do that in the world. We don't do anything without getting something for it. And I'm not, I'm not trying to be mean, I'm just saying no, it's true, that's true.
Rick Costa:I think there's always been bartering. That's the thing at times. So I saw somebody posting something the other day that their electricity had gotten cut off. They didn't have the money and they're freezing they're really cold and the refrigerator food's getting spoiled and I felt so horrible. I was like why can't I be a millionaire? Because I would, in a split second, give you whatever you need. That's in me to do that Like I would definitely do that without thinking twice.
Carmen Lezeth:And I'm like I'm broke too. Darn it, I can't. I want it so bad. I think one of the things that was interesting about that is this is somebody who would never post on Facebook and Instagram that they needed help. This is like and I'm a knock on wood right now I would never post on Facebook and Instagram saying I need help and please can you give me some money. And that's how I knew this was for real real and, by the way, this is someone who has spent their entire life helping other people and they got into a bad space. They got into a bad place and I was like I was the same way, rick. I was like fuck, if I had the money, I would just be like girl, take those posts down. I got you. I would just send her the fucking money.
Carmen Lezeth:But you know what ended up happening? People were on there being like is this, this is how? This is how much I knew. It was so heart wrenching for her. All of her friends on Facebook not all of them A lot of them were like is this really you? You would never do this. I need somebody to have a conversation with. And she's like I don't have any power.
Cynthia Lopez:I can't get on a FaceTime call, so then people are like and I'm sorry that is not a friend, because if that was your friend you would automatically just call them hey, are you okay?
Carmen Lezeth:That's what somebody else did and said to verify. So there's the part where people are unsure if that's her on Facebook. Because, cynthia, it would be like if I went on Facebook and wrote it really is like this If I were to go on Facebook and say I'm having a really hard time, I don't have any electricity on right now, I don't have any money. Can you please go to my Venmo and send me some cash? I'm trying to raise enough money. Blah, blah, blah to get my lights back on.
Cynthia Lopez:First of all I'm not going to send you a text, I'm not going to send you another message on Facebook. I'm going to call you.
Carmen Lezeth:I know, but you can't reach her because her phone is not working. That's the problem she's having. So I understand why people on Facebook are freaking the fuck out, cause they don't think it's, because I don't think anyone believes that I would do that, so that's number one. And so that's number one. And then you can't really call me because they don't have any electricity. You know what I mean. So she took a moment to post on Facebook and Instagram so that she could get some help, and so people are all like is this really her? I need somebody to do a FaceTime to check. Somebody hacked her account and I'm like, oh my God, and I know that that's her Venmo.
Rick Costa:I know that that's her. You know what I mean, like, and I don't even know her super well, but just from little key things she wrote. I knew it was her, I didn't question it, I knew it was her.
Carmen Lezeth:But I understand why people you know what I mean said like, I know what you're saying, but I know why somebody questioned it, because something that no one would ever expect. You would never expect me to, cynthia, if I wrote that on Facebook. I hope you would question it because you'd be like, wait, why didn't Carmen call me first? You know what I mean, like, what is happening, like. But I think that's kind of the thing it's like and and I know, rick, I agree with you I mean, it's one of my pet peeves. I wish I had enough money, cause I it's money.
Carmen Lezeth:No one should be without fucking electricity in this country. Nobody should be homeless in this fucking country. Nobody should be suffering this badly. I don't give a fuck. And this idea that people are lazy or that people that's not what it is either. We fall on hard times, things happen, things are extremely expensive Medical care. We are all one paycheck away from being homeless. I don't give a fuck who you are, unless you are Elon Musk or all these other people who got money, money, money. Everybody, my, I have clients who have lots of money, who freaked out because they lost half a million dollars and are now not going to hire somebody that we need to hire because they're so afraid of the market. That's somebody who has money, money not me money, money, money, money. You know what I mean. And they're freaking out and so because they have a family, you know, and they have to help people and they take care of people and it's like so what do you think the rest of us are doing?
Rick Costa:Another pet peeve I have is people that say oh yeah, me too. I live paycheck to paycheck. The next day be like check out my new shoes, Ain't they cool? I'm like, no, Come to me with no paycheck. All I buy is food. That's it, what you mean. You live paycheck to paycheck.
Carmen Lezeth:I know, okay, you mean you live paycheck to paycheck. I know, okay, I feel a little guilty there because, um, I, yeah, I do live paycheck to paycheck. I just don't have children or anyone to take care of, and so I am, you know, gonna go get my hair done soon. No, um, I just I agree with you. I think it's also people who cry poverty and use money unwisely. You know what I mean, um, and so I agree with you. I think it's also people who cry poverty and use money unwisely. You know what I mean, so I agree with you.
Carmen Lezeth:I actually do have to get my hair done, but, if you've noticed, I haven't. So because I know, I mean, the market is volatile, and I also know two of my clients who lost their homes are not going to be able to keep paying us. You know they lost them during the fires, so I already know things are about to get tight too. But that's what I mean. Like, I mean, will I be okay for a couple months? Sure, but after that? And what am I going to do about my housekeeper and my Botox?
Rick Costa:Get out that t-shirt.
Carmen Lezeth:Get out that t-shirt. I already told her. I already told her that after June I couldn't have her anymore. She doesn't know. But that's what you do you try to set yourself up. Oh my god, it's such a depressing.
Rick Costa:It's supposed to be funny or laugh, at least laughing in a way.
Carmen Lezeth:I know. I just hope that our friend got what she needed. I think, um, I think everyone pulled together and, uh, helped her out, so I hope she got everything she needed and that she's okay. And what a tough situation to be in. But I think that's probably one of my biggest pet peeves for this country is we have an idea of what homelessness is. We have an idea of what poverty is. We have an idea of what need is. And I'm sorry, in this country, in this great country of ours, no one should ever be in that situation. Really. No, we have so much. We really should not ever be. And that's not about laziness, that's not about pull yourself up by your bootstraps, it's not about fucking socialism. It's about this country has so much abundance. And if we were kind and lovely to each other and if we were people who really cared about each other as neighbors, we wouldn't look at a homeless person and just assume that they deserve to be there right.
Rick Costa:I mean, have these people even talk to them? I mean that I just actually I just did it once where we was a bunch of church people. He went one night and just talked to homeless people and that changed me. It really did. It's like, wow, some of these people some of them, yes, they're a little mentally so you kind of understand why they're in a situation Some of them just fell on hard times. They just couldn't get back on track, you know.
Carmen Lezeth:Can we explain the mentally thing? Can I give you a scenario and I'm not really saying it for you, I'm saying it for other people because that's one of my pet peeves. Okay, so let me put it to you this way. So the other day I I actually did a TikTok about it. I went to the grocery store and I bought a bottle of wine. And then I bought like a smaller bottle of wine, like there's these cute little um, I'd show it to you, but I already drank it. It's like a little. It's like a little one. You can just get like two glasses. I've never seen like a mini wine bottle. You know what I'm talking about.
Carmen Lezeth:So I did a TikTok about it and I was cracking up and so I was just having a day. So I was like you know, I'm gonna have a glass of wine or whatever, but anyways, so I have a glass of wine because I had a tough day. So can you imagine if I was homeless and on the street, having a really tough bunch of days strung together and couldn't find my way to the shelter, I got harassed by some guy who was drunk and all handsy or whatever, because if you've ever been to a homeless shelter. It's not like you all have your own private rooms, okay, um, or maybe when I went to go get help, snap benefits or welfare benefits or something just to try to get me out of the situation I'm in. Because actually what happened to me was I had a medical surgery thing that happened, and then at the same time my husband died, and when he died I didn't get any of his social security benefits because of a little snafu in the system that said I didn't get to earn them. And then I got into a medical dilemma and then oh, by the way I ended up not being able to pay the rent because I was a caretaker while my husband was alive, dealing with cancer or whatever, and so I lost my job.
Carmen Lezeth:I'm just spitballing possibilities here of stories I know have happened, have we've all heard. But that's how it happened. It doesn't mean that that person wasn't a valuable human being with ideas and a heart and passions, but when things go bad, they can go very, very bad, and then you end up in a shelter, you end up trying to get help. It gets harder and harder. It is actually easier, especially if you live in California I can't say the same for Vermont or Boston. But if you live in California, it is so much easier to sleep on that beach with the beautiful sky at night, with the waves rolling, with your glass of wine that maybe you bought with some money you panhandled because you've had a bad day.
Carmen Lezeth:You see where I'm going with this. You see how easy it is to become an alcoholic or to become someone who's constantly trying to just rid yourself of the pain that you're in by drinking. But I'm not advocating for it. I'm not saying this is what should happen. I'm saying there but for the grace of God, go. I, motherfucking bitches, stop being an ass to homeless people. And Rick, what you said see people for who they are.
Rick Costa:Yeah, I bet so many of them probably say to themselves I don't even get here. I can't believe this. All of them probably say to themselves.
Carmen Lezeth:I don't even get here. I can't believe this. All of them say that and you know, drugs is the easiest way to. I just told you I drank you know a little mini bottle of wine because I had a hard day. I can't imagine what it would be like, you know, okay. So maybe somebody gives you a $10 bill or something you know, when you're panhandling, maybe whatever you get like 20. I don't know how much people make panhandling, but maybe it's enough to like get you food. But why get food when you can get high and not think about it anymore? But we all want to be so moralistic, right? We all want to be like, but I would, you know what. What's $10 going to get you? $10 ain't going to get you an apartment.
Rick Costa:You have so little pleasure as it is, so why not?
Carmen Lezeth:That's what I'm saying, yeah, I mean, you know we keep talking about pet peeves, but my pet peeve is us being heartless and unkind. But then saying that we would be Right, yeah, I would help anybody really those are the same ones that say I got you, I got you. I'm here for you. I will support you by subscribing to your sub stack or your YouTube channel. I got you, Carmen. I got you exactly, I got you. Exactly. Yeah, pet peeves about your neighbors. Yeah, I'm not going to waste my time on them.
Cynthia Lopez:How about traveling? Pet peeves about traveling. Do you have a pet? Bed bugs? That is number one's funny um.
Carmen Lezeth:What's your pet peeve about traveling?
Cynthia Lopez:not being at the airport on time.
Carmen Lezeth:I hate rushing at the airport on time. Oh, I'm, I'm always on time at the row.
Cynthia Lopez:I always have to tell people that our flight leaves about a half hour to an hour earlier than what it does, so that we can get there on time and have enough time to relax are?
Carmen Lezeth:are we when we're talking about people? Are the people we're talking about one?
Cynthia Lopez:and we bring it full circle.
Carmen Lezeth:Oh yeah, there's a woman on Tik TOK who I forget what her name is, but I follow her on Tik TOK and she goes up to random people and asks them questions and she'll say things and she's black, she's a black woman and what she's actually asking them is questions to see if they know anything about being black. Oh, she'll go up to black people and ask them and she'll be like what, what, what, what.
Rick Costa:Lexi, yeah, soul school. Yeah, that's Lexi.
Carmen Lezeth:Soul school. It's so funny so she'll go up and ask them, like if I say I'm uh 20 minutes away, what time am I gonna get there? Of course, the answer is like an hour and a half.
Cynthia Lopez:Right, that's the answer so she does all those I saw. I saw her one time and she was asking a white girl and she knew all the answers. She goes, she's invited to the barbecue, yeah she goes you sure you weren't black in your previous life, right?
Carmen Lezeth:well my favorite one, because it really is really distinct is like she'll be, like god is good, and white people always say god is great. The answer is all the time right, all the time, all the time god is good. It's so funny.
Rick Costa:Yeah, it always cracks me up I can't go to, and she's like who is booboo the fool? I don't know, I don't know, I don't know don't understand mom and them.
Carmen Lezeth:Do you guys get what mom and them is? It's mom and them. So when she says who's mom and them, everyone's like, uh, what I don't know? It's like mom and them. So it's anybody, it's all your anybody, the mailman, the anybody who's in the room at the time mom and them. It just it's so funny because I a smart, interesting TikTok, I mean brilliant and I didn't know you guys followed her.
Carmen Lezeth:Okay, cool. Thank you so much, that was so much fun. Thank you so much for being in the private lounge and remember at the end of the day, oh, I should do a little bit of promoting ourselves. Huh, why not? Yeah, so we are on YouTube. You can find it under my name, which is Carmen Lee set. You can also try to Google it all about the joy, but I don't think it comes up under YouTube there. But you can also go to aatjoycom to find all of our links. Please also come and check us out on Friday nights at 6 PM Pacific, 9 PM Eastern, where we have our live show and anyone can come and join in in the chat and sometimes we'll have you come on if you have time. We had a great show last week with somebody. Where was he from, I forget.
Rick Costa:Maslam from England, michael, but I'm so used to calling him Maslam, that's always how he is.
Carmen Lezeth:Yeah, but he was from Turkey. He's originally from Turkey, but he was from Turkey. He's originally from Turkey. Yeah, he's originally from Turkey. It was really nice and he came on and that was really fun, and Brian joined us too, and that was a great time. So, yeah, check us out on Friday night. We're looking forward to seeing you there, and that's it. But remember, at the end of the day, it really is all about the joy. Bye everyone, good night, bye. Bye everyone. Bye. Thanks for stopping by. All About the Joy. Be better and stay beautiful folks.
Rick Costa:Have a sweet day.