All About The Joy
All About The Joy is a weekly hang-out with friends in the neighborhood! We share insight, advice, funny-isms and we choose to always try and find the positive, the silver lining, the "light" in all of it. AATJ comes from the simple concept that at the end of the day we all want to have more JOY than not. So, this is a cool place to unwind, have a laugh and share some time with friends!
All About The Joy
Truths About Work, Friends, and Money - Pet Peeves Revealed
What makes your blood boil? In this candid conversation, we peel back the layers on those daily irritations that reveal so much about who we are and what we value.
The discussion kicks off with workplace frustrations we all recognize - the boss who calls instead of walking five doors down, unnecessary meetings that drag on forever, and the expectation to be mind readers. "I hate micromanaging," shares one host, "but the worst part is when they do it over the phone and can't even get up from their desk to talk to you." These shared annoyances quickly reveal deeper issues about power dynamics and respect in professional spaces.
When the conversation shifts to friendships, we explore the particular sting of friends who promise support but never follow through. "They'll say 'I got you, Carmen, I'll subscribe to your YouTube' but then they don't do it," one host explains, highlighting how these empty promises hurt more than honesty would. We also tackle dinner bill splitting etiquette, phone addiction during social time, and the peculiar expectations we place on our closest relationships.
But what begins as lighthearted venting transforms into something more profound when we confront our societal pet peeves. The discussion takes an unexpectedly powerful turn as we examine homelessness, poverty, and the judgment often directed at those struggling. "In this great country of ours, no one should ever be in that situation," one host asserts, challenging listeners to reconsider assumptions about those who've fallen on hard times.
Whether you're nodding along in recognition or gaining fresh perspective on why certain behaviors trigger such strong reactions, this episode offers both comfort in shared irritations and challenges to examine the values behind them. Join us for a conversation that proves even our smallest annoyances can reveal our deepest truths about how we believe the world should work.
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Music By Geovane Bruno, Moments, 3481
Editing by Team A-J
Host, Carmen Lezeth
DISCLAIMER: As always, please do your own research and understand that the opinions in this podcast and livestream are meant for entertainment purposes only. States and other areas may have different rules and regulations governing certain aspects discussed in this podcast. Nothing in our podcast or livestream is meant to be medical or legal advice. Please use common sense, and when in doubt, ask a professional for advice, assistance, help and guidance.
This is a throwback episode from way way back in April. Hope you all enjoy it.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:Hi everybody, Welcome to.
Carmen Lezeth:All that Joy. Hello, the private lounge. We're over here like 10 minutes into a conversation. Hey, cynthia's in the house, how are you guys doing? Doing good, good, good.
Rick Costa:All right, you, how are you guys?
Carmen Lezeth:doing, doing good. All right, you guys don't keep being chatty, right, like you just were. I wanted to talk a little bit about pet peeves, which might go into some of what we were talking about earlier today with work.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:I got a whole, oh no.
Carmen Lezeth:Cynthia did her homework. I should Start with you Go ahead.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:Oh, pet peeves, when are we starting From work? Work, pet peeves.
Carmen Lezeth:We can just start with all the pet peeves that Mala said let's start with work.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:Let's start with work. Let's see what I have here. Work, oh, micromanaging. I hate micromanaging, but the worst part about it is when they do it over the phone and can't even get up from their desk to walk five doors down to your office to talk to you. They call you. Did you do this? Oh, what about this? And how about that? Knowing you already did it, I know.
Carmen Lezeth:Yeah, I hate micromanaging as well and I try not to do it. But yeah, I, my clients do that to me all the time.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:Micromanaging. But in my situation it's like we went from having two employees in my office me and the other woman doing all this work and now it's just me. For the past, what month now? And it's like in a month you haven't even tried to come and help me or find me any help, but you're going to micromanage me, knowing I'm doing everything correctly, because the doctor is aware I'm doing everything correctly and is very pleased with my work. I'm sorry.
Rick Costa:Just today I get a call from Nefe and he's like what about this order? And I'm like what order? Please enlighten me. He never gives me all the details so I can figure out what he's talking about, or he'll be like looking at something. He's like did you take care of this guy? And I'm like who, what? And it might not have been today. I'm like give me a second to figure out what you're talking about, since you ain't gonna tell me. I gotta figure it out and you're wasting time.
Carmen Lezeth:Mind reading that's a whole other one. So this micromanaging is like you're supposed to be a mind reader with these motherfuckers. My clients do that all the time.
Rick Costa:So he's like well, did you tell the shipping guy about this? How's it supposed to ship? And I was like, yeah, I sent him a message on Teams. Go look, oh, okay, yeah, yeah, well, just make sure you stay on top of this. Okay, I'm like now you feel stupid, you have nothing to say.
Carmen Lezeth:Just is the mind reading though One of my clients will be like Carmen that report that we talked about. This man is constantly with motherfucking reports Every five minutes. It's a new report he needs and then I'll be like I'll get to it. It's on the list. I always say it's on the list because the list is like 35 things long. Then, randomly out of nowhere, I'll be walking by to go to the bathroom or something and he'll just ask me and I'm supposed to know off the top of my head not only which report that he's talking about, but whatever numbers. And I'm not that person. Everybody knows. I am not somebody who retains shit in my head, especially shit that don't matter to me in my life. I don't care about your business, I work for you, but I need to go look it up. I'm not retaining that shit. He gets so mad.
Rick Costa:There's another thing he calls yesterday. He goes about a month ago I told you to go through. It's our biggest customer and there's a lot of old credit cards in there and it doesn't. We can't see the credit card number, except for the last four numbers and the expiration. So it's like you know I can see that part, but he's like there's so many old ones in there, can you know how many are in there since 2019? Okay, so I did. I spent literally half the day doing it, and then the next day I'm not going to lie I forgot about it. Plus, it's not a huge priority. There's nothing customer-wise needed to do right now. So I was like, well, I see a whole bunch of them still in here. Did you ever do it? I was like I spent half the day doing it and so then I was like, let me see if I can finish it now. It was maybe like 15 left to go out of 300, maybe. I'm like what the heck it's?
Carmen Lezeth:never good enough. It's never good enough. What about unnecessary meetings? We have those all the time. Meetings that can be 15 minutes, like should just be 15 minutes, yep.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:And it shouldn't be a PowerPoint presentation where they're just reading what's on the screen. You could just send it to me in an email. I can print it out if I need it and I can read it myself.
Carmen Lezeth:Yeah, for sure. I think that's a big, a big one, a big waste of time that people do. I think that's a power thing yeah. I need everyone to be so monotoned.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:if they're so monotone and I'm there like falling asleep and I'm just like, oh my god, if you're not excited about this, how can I be right?
Carmen Lezeth:okay, that's just wrong, but I think it's a, it's like a power thing, where people are like you know, oh, we have to have a meeting, let's sit down, let's have, let's uh, schedule me something. And, like I always see, one of my clients is always telling their assistant schedule me something, something just fit it in. Fit it in. And I'm like bitch, we don't need to have no conversation with him, it's all good, he can call me tomorrow between nine and 10 and I can tell him everything he needs to know. You know what I mean. Like there is no need. Or I can just walk over there right now, tell him while he's sitting and doing nothing, and tell him we don't need to get 25 people together. It is annoying, the unnecessary meetings are.
Rick Costa:He used to do that, but of course I work from home, so he would just put it on speakerphone and they'd have their meeting. Like I barely hear what they're saying because they're probably not even near the phone and I'm like okay listening for something pertinent to me.
Carmen Lezeth:That's a big reason for why people want people back in the office, though, too, I do believe there is something beneficial to having people in the office, but I think it has to be a hybrid situation, if it can be at this point in time. I mean, your job's a little bit different, cynthia, because you work in pathology and there are medical fields, and you know like you can't do construction from home. You know what I mean. If you work in the construction field or whatever, you probably have to do that on site. I'm just saying, but there are some jobs that can be done on a hybrid situation, but I do think part of the creative process, especially when you're with a team of people, is very different than when you're on a zoom call. You know, I think our energy would be really cool if we were in person or not. We might actually hate each other. You know what I mean. I know right what about pet peeves you have with friends Everyone here included, of course, everyone here.
Carmen Lezeth:Like what is your pet peeve with Mario and Alma? No, just in general, do you guys have pet peeves with some of your friends?
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:When they don't. Two of them. One, when they don't listen, like they'll come to you with all their issues and want you to listen and give them all the advice, but when it's your turn, oh, I'm too busy or I got to do this or you know, they just don't have time to listen to your drama. And the other one is knowing your audience, like, for instance, if they're your friends, they should know what type of music you listen to, right? And let's say they're going to a concert and it's a genre that you just don't like. If it's a country, country music, which we all know I love, right, and I say, carmen, I have tickets, let's go to the country, a country thing.
Rick Costa:And you say no right.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:And you say no right, and then I never ask you again to go to any other type of concert. It's like, if you know I don't like that, why invite me to that? But then ones that I do like you don't invite me to, right, you know so speaking of listening, like a pet peeve of mine is.
Rick Costa:So let's say I said to my friend, I'm marco polo, because I like that video thing you could just record and they watch whenever at their convenience, and back and forth. And I'll be like I'll say, oh, my mom had to go to the hospital for something. I'll make an example, I'm at the hospital, he's not fully listening. And then he'll come back and be like oh, I'm sorry, your mom got the sniffles. I'm like I said she went to the hospital. What is wrong with you? You is wrong with you like you're not listening clearly.
Carmen Lezeth:Yeah, that's attention for those people who don't know what marco polo is, because I swear to god, rick, you're the only person I know who uses marco polo. It's like whatsapp or signal, which is you can just leave a voice note or you can leave a video message and then somebody can answer you back at their own convenience. I've never heard of marco polo till rick said it, and I've never heard anyone else talking about it. I think it's your own secret app. I don't know, I think one of my pet peeves with my friends.
Carmen Lezeth:First of all, I don't think I have that many friends. I have a lot more acquaintances than I do friends, but that's a whole other conversation. But I'll say this I think a lot of people mean well, but they don't follow through. So a lot of my friends, or a lot of acquaintances, will say things like no, I got you, I support you, I'm a subscribe to your sub stack. Like I got you, carmen, I'll subscribe to your YouTube or whatever it is. I support you 100%. But then they don't do it. And then what's worse is you do it again and they don't do it.
Carmen Lezeth:And it's like you don't have to support my stuff but also don't kiss my ass in front of me. You know what I mean, because I'll tell you what I'm not going to support your shit. If I don't want to support your shit, I'm not. I'm not going to lie to you about it. Like I'm trying to think who is it that I recently said? Well, you know what. I'll use an example here. This isn't what I was thinking of.
Carmen Lezeth:But, rick, you and I, we get along on so many levels, but one of the things I don't really do is and you know, I am supporting you right now because I'm a promote, rick Costacom, but you have a whole religious kind of thing that you do on an everyday but it's just not my thing. So I'm not going to pretend and be like I got you. I'm going to support you, right, you know how I feel about it Now. I support you as a person and in your creativity and I support you because I know you're not doing no harm to nobody. You know what I mean and so. But you see what I'm saying, right, like there's no lies between us, but people will continuously be like yes, I will support everything you do, carmen, and I'm like so how come you're not on our YouTube channel? All about the joy? How come you don't listen to our podcast?
Rick Costa:I learned this when I was on the Periscope days. Public service announcement If you go do stuff online, your friends and family will not be there. But why, it's crazy, like if they did it, I would but unless I didn't agree with it, 100.
Carmen Lezeth:Like I come and visit your show, I just want for the, for the people listening. I do come and visit your show and I do listen once in a while. I do you know that because I'll come in and say, especially when you do the games, because I like that part, but yeah, but then why say that you're going to support someone 100 if you're not gonna? Yeah, exactly that's annoying. I feel like cynthia's being very high because she's one of those people who says she's gonna support stuff no, no, no.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:Another thing I don't like and this this is just a general thing is like with anybody friends, family, whoever is if you go out to dinner, you go to the movies or whatever, and they're just on the phone, always on the phone, oh. But then when you say, oh, did you get my text? No, I never got it. I'm never ready because you're always on your phone you know what?
Carmen Lezeth:I love andrea with all my heart, but she does that shit all the time. I'll be like did you get my email or my text? And she'll be like, oh, I've been so busy. But when we go out to dinner, she, she is one of those people who's like one second. I'm like do I have a different? Like is there some notification sound? That's like it's just Carmen, ignore that shit, you're going to spam. I love it with all my heart, but I'm like okay, you just ignored me because you know I'm good Like whatever girl, but she does that shit all the time. Were going to say something else.
Carmen Lezeth:I can't stand when you go out with quote unquote family and friends to dinner and we all about to eat, and then people be all cheap and shit, like do not go out with me and start splitting that fucking bill based on like um, I only had water and a salad. Like don't come to eat with me, then don't? You know what I mean? Like I don't mind splitting the bill if that's the agreement we had at the beginning, but I cannot stand cheap people. I can't stand it.
Carmen Lezeth:If we don't go eat, we don't go eat, don't come and eat. No water and salad, because you can't just say you can't afford it, then I'll pay the shit. Do you know what I mean? Like okay, you know how I am Cynthia when it comes to food. So wait, do you guys, when you guys go out to eat, do you guys, when you guys go out to eat, do you guys normally split the bill or what do you do, because maybe I'm out of touch with things? I don't know, you split it, okay, but do you split it, like, based on what you ate, or do you?
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:know evenly, just if there's four of us, to split it between the four of us, okay right, I usually will pick up the bill.
Carmen Lezeth:I will. I usually will just pick up the bill if I'm going out to eat, like, and I said let's go out to eat because I like to eat. But yeah, uh, request, what's your flavor when it comes to food?
Rick Costa:I know you don't go out to eat a lot, but right, right I mean as far as the bill like, as soon as they come start, ask us what you want, I immediately say how are we paying for this? Oh, no, okay because some people they'll be like okay, lobster, shrimp, several cups of wine. I'm like, okay, I'm a little bit hungry, but what are you doing?
Carmen Lezeth:okay, okay, okay. I just want to be clear right now, rick, if we ever going out to eat like when we all get together at our studio, wherever and you you know what I mean we're doing our in-studio podcast, live stream or whatever and we go out to eat, you will not say that I got you.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:Okay, I will pay for it okay, we're not ghetto Me and Carmen will already have talked about it, but like, if I got it or you got it, like I know, and what did? What did after?
Carmen Lezeth:Cause I can't. I can't handle it. I don't know what it. You know what it is is I don't look at. I grew up poor. I mean, I guess we all woman of color who grew up poor. There's also this thing like I don't want you to ever believe in any way, shape or form that I am cheap. All the stereotypes that you think about poor people and I do think that's where it comes from I will stand on whatever it is that I have to in order to make sure you understand that I am not cheap. Like, and if that means I can't go out to dinner with you because I can't afford it, I'm going to tell you straight up. You know what. I can't afford it today. But have a lovely time, but I'm sure as hell not going to go to dinner and then be like um, um, can I just have a water? No, no.
Rick Costa:I think, it's my case, because there's certain family members that will take advantage of that, and they will every time, and they already know their cheap period in life and they will order $40, $50 worth of food, knowing they're only going to have to pay $20.
Carmen Lezeth:Okay, so this is where you and I are different, and I think Cynthia is the same way. Why would you go out to dinner with them again? Like, show me once.
Rick Costa:Family, thing, oh yeah.
Carmen Lezeth:We could be family, but we ain't going to dinner.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:Oh yeah, we could be family but we ain't going to dinner, like Cynthia you could always. But Rick, you can always say like, if you guys do that dinner again, say to the waiter, can my check be separate? Yeah.
Carmen Lezeth:You could do separate checks.
Rick Costa:That's cool too. I'll be right back, hey, bro.
Carmen Lezeth:Right, oh yeah, but Cynthia, you know there are people I will not go to dinner with. I will not go to dinner with people. Cynthia knows who they are. I will not go to dinner with certain people. You showed me once who you is. We done, yep, not doing it. Oh, that's interesting. What else? Other things with family? I was talking about just things that I remember growing up. It wasn't my pet peeve, but I would get yelled at if I didn't take the lights off. You know what I mean. Like I remember that was like a and so now I have a habit of doing that, to the extent that one of the people I work with the other day she's like every time you leave my office you turn the lights off and I'm like I'm sorry, I take. You know what I mean. I visit my client and I'll get my bags up and I'll just turn off the lights and lock and shut the door and she'll come back from the bathroom and like what are you doing? It is her office, I'm just visiting.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:Oh my God, I'm the same way. I hate it. So Juan has a tendency of leaving the light on in the bathroom, and it drives me crazy. Oh yeah, no yeah, oh my god, it drives me, it drives me up the wall.
Carmen Lezeth:Okay, we're, we're, we're the problem, we're the problem, like I, I am the problem, I am, I am the drama, I'm the drama in my case, it used to be mom that did that, and now we've reverted.
Rick Costa:Now I'm the one that's like why is this on? Why don't leave this tv on your bedroom? You're gonna be in your bedroom until tonight. Why are you doing that? But Portuguese people, first generation Portuguese people, we are very interesting because we say things that drive Americans crazy, like open, close the lights. Can you open the light, can you close the light? And everybody's like really, open the light.
Carmen Lezeth:Oh, because it's like a funny thing. I think it happens too, though, because I think, but also because she's polish, she's from poland, she has some of those word changes as well, because it's you're. You're uh directly translating instead of is it idioms or whatever. You know, there are all these idioms in certain languages. Yeah, that's funny turn.
Rick Costa:Turn open the light.
Carmen Lezeth:Is that what you say?
Rick Costa:Oh, you say open the light. Open or close the light?
Carmen Lezeth:yeah, oh my God, that's funny. All right, pet peeves in relationships, let's get down and dirty.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:Okay, all right, I'll make it easy.
Carmen Lezeth:What friends.
Rick Costa:I mean it could be similar.
Carmen Lezeth:Friends or lovers? What is your pet peeve with Juan?
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:Let's just talk about Juan the light switch. No, don't talk about Juan.
Carmen Lezeth:I'm kidding.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:She's small I know no.
Carmen Lezeth:What are pet peeves, though, with anything Like relationships, friends?
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:This might sound weird, right, but like if I'm hosting a dinner in my house, like for Thanksgiving, let's say and you know I've never been invited to, but go ahead, oh hush. And let's say, you know I want to clean up, or everyone's you know putting their dishes away, whatever. And somebody starts cleaning my kitchen and starts washing the dishes.
Rick Costa:I don't like that.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:I know, no, I know that they're trying to help me, but it's like I want to do that.
Carmen Lezeth:Leave it alone, just enjoy the time that's you being anal. That's not being a bad person. I'd love it.
Rick Costa:Go clean my bathroom too, while you're at it.
Carmen Lezeth:High five, baby. Don't leave your hair again, Bitch, clean, Go ahead. No, no, I hear you. But here's the thing. I think again not to be bringing up Andrea. I think Mia's, oh, Mia too, Mia and Andrea, they're all the same way.
Carmen Lezeth:But you have to tell people because from my point of view, especially when I went to like I used to always go to Mia's in New York, right In Pennsylvania, to go for Thanksgiving and I mean, and her husband would pay for my first class flight out there and hotel, so I'd have to stay with them with their children, Like that's how sweet they were. So you think I'm going to walk into her house and eat and not be like how can I clean and help. It was such a kindness that they were making sure I was with them and they were, and it was paid. So you want to help. But you know, at one point Mia was like it's all good, Carmen, just go relax, you feel me, and I was like she tried to spin it like I'm family, but she's like, bitch, get the hell out of my kitchen, is what I was hearing.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:That was the subtext. But it's funny, though, because when I do go to other people's houses, I always want to help them clean up. Yeah, it's a weird thing.
Carmen Lezeth:How come you don't just tell people? You should just tell them. I know now.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:I tell them, just leave it there. And they're like no, no, no, it's fine. I'm like no, I just oh no, I have my pet peeve with her.
Carmen Lezeth:Again, we're not talking about individual people in a negative way. No, no.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:What are your pet peeves? But?
Carmen Lezeth:Teresa's always kind that way. She always wants to. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, no, my it's it. No, what are your pet peeves? But Teresa's always kind that way. She always wants to clean. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:No, it's a funny thing that I have with her. A pet peeve is that she always wants to save paper towels. Like she'll reuse the paper towels because she doesn't want to waste them and I'm like throw it away.
Carmen Lezeth:Yeah, okay, yeah, yeah, that's a weird ism, but I think that's from culture, that's from growing up poor in Honduras and wanting to save everything. Like you know, I have somebody who saves plastic bags. So like, let's say, you put I don't know like whatever, you put nuts, I forget what it was. I had like cashews in a baggie, like a sandwich bag or whatever, because you know the box was this big. So I put them in a sandwich bag or whatever, because you know the box was this big and there was no, so I put them in a sandwich bag or whatever. And so when we were finished eating I think it was cashews or something, we're finishing the cashews I went to go throw the thing.
Carmen Lezeth:I put it on the counter and the next, like the next minute later, she was in there and I'm just I'm saying who it is, washing out the plastic sandwich bag, like a Ziploc sandwich bag, putting it inside out and then putting it in the rack for it to dry so I can use it again. She's like it was just nuts and I'm like, yeah, but they were in. I don't know. She's right, she's right, but you throw it out. Here in the United States we waste a lot, but they're not wrong. But I still can't.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:I can't, I can't. Wouldn't you guys throw it away? I would throw it away, juan would save it.
Carmen Lezeth:Oh, really he would, because it was just nuts, it was just cashews.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:And I'm always there throwing it away.
Carmen Lezeth:Yeah paper towels is hard, though, because that's wet and it's dirty, oh, but it's drying it, it's drying, yeah.
Rick Costa:I'm going to forget watching Oprah one time. Look at my face. I guess the show was about cheap people and there was a guy that he would take the toilet, roll the entire thing and split it if it was a two-ply, oh stop it. And he put it up and Oprah's like, but wouldn't you just double it up anyway? Isn't that a stupid waste of time?
Carmen Lezeth:That's crazy, right, cause you could just take one little piece of the two ply. Right, we're going down a whole other road. I don't want to just say cause I do want to defend people. I actually the people I'm talking about. I don't think it's about being cheap, because Teresa is not cheap no, she's not cheap at all but it's about culture. It's about growing up and learning that. And here's the thing you know what the truth is. I mean, we all would throw it away with the cashews right, I had cashews in the bag, but she's not wrong. And this wasn't Teresa, this was somebody else. They're not wrong, it was just you could save it and use it for something else. But I think because as Americans we don't really recycle in that way and we really were not thoughtful in that way saving the paper towels, saving the plastic bag, using an old t-shirt as a mop yeah.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:Or like to clean the furniture and stuff like that, which is what we used to do as kids yeah, and you just wash it and reuse it.
Carmen Lezeth:Well, a t-shirt is better to clean anyway, People don't understand that for the like. I'm going to be careful what I say when my home is clean. That's actually what they're using Because it's old school, but it's better because it picks up all the dust better, and everything too. That's also smart. But yeah, it's true, I think there's a lot of things. I think we waste a lot as Americans, but we also and I'm saying this as an American myself we're also not that smart, because those things actually work. I did not know we were going to go down this avenue, basically dissing all Americans and how we function in society.
Rick Costa:Sorry, I'll tell you another part of the reason we already mentioned this with jobs is the mind reading thing, like I can tell you, at times with relationship you should just know, oh yeah. But I didn't, right, you should know, but I didn't. And then have a whole big fight about something I didn't know, because I'm not a mind reader, unless you tell me.
Carmen Lezeth:I don't know. Is that the difference between men and women, though? Remember that whole book, mars versus Venus, or something, where they talked about how men communicate in caves? I don't even know. I don't remember the book. I did read it once and I think there were some aspects of it. On reading it, as a woman on the man side, I got it. It's about how to communicate with each other. You know and I'm actually the type of person even though I talk a lot, I do when I'm in a relationship and we get into a fight and you guys know this because I've had little arguments with each of you I need a minute. I'm not going to keep fighting with you. I will be quiet and need to get away for a day or so and then we can get back to it. And Cynthia, cynthia's, what about me? You are, you're, you're when you, when we have our little, when we had, I think, one fight, did we have?
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:one.
Carmen Lezeth:Yeah.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:One argument.
Carmen Lezeth:Was it one argument Do you remember? I don't even remember what it was about. I don't even remember. I don't remember. But Cynthia gets mad, like she and she don't want to talk to you at all, like she just gets really quiet, like I took you in a little bit of a retreat mode.
Rick Costa:The other day we were talking about La La Land and you were the only one that liked it, oh right, he's like I hate it and Cindy's like yes. And you're like huh Well.
Carmen Lezeth:And you're like huh, well, here's my thing about that. So you're right, I do, because I'm not going to fight with people and I'm certainly not going to fight with the majority of people about something. And I'm going to say this as with and I know it's going to get people really upset, I know, when it comes to art, I think hating something, it's kind of like. You know, we can honestly say I hate country music, but I would never disrespect it and I would never. I would never dismiss it or dismiss other people for hating it. You know what I mean Like, and I actually respect country music. You know as much as I get around about hating it or whatever, and I think that's what it is.
Carmen Lezeth:You know it's kind of, um, I don't like when people all right, I'm going to defend it this way as well when you're on a movie set and you see how much work it takes to create something so magnificent, and then you see something like La La Land or whatever it is it doesn't matter Star Trek, it doesn't matter, whatever it is, you want to when you see how it's made, even if it's bad, you know how much work it took to do it and I will honestly tell you, la La Land may not be your flavor, but it's one of those movies or one of those moments in time where people either love it or they hate it.
Carmen Lezeth:It just is what it is. You know what I mean and I'm just saying respect it, and I think that's what you felt there was. A part of me was heartbroken by hearing and I know we're being funny and it was funny, whatever but first of all I was shocked at that much Like of all the movies you could pick to hate, I was like that threw me for a loop. You know Trash basura.
Carmen Lezeth:It was so funny. But I think that's kind of the thing too is like for me. I'm also, you know, I studied film in college. I, you know, y'all know I came out here to be a I love film. So there are very few films that you're ever going to hear me talk about in that negative, kind of nasty way. It would never. I would never. I may not like something, I may dislike it. It may not be my genre, it may not be something I think is well-made, but I would never be that angst about it. Does that make sense?
Carmen Lezeth:And I know you guys are being funny, but I you know, fucking Mario was hilarious, I think I did the clip for that right.
Rick Costa:Because it was so funny. What movie was that?
Carmen Lezeth:Because we didn't say it in the clip. Yeah, yeah, oh, the first clip because I used it as a teaser, the first clip for people to come and see the Sunday show. See, I'm trying to do new things. Trying to do new things, but yeah, I mean that's kind of a great example. Like you know, one of my clients, you know, screamed and yelled at me and to other people in a meeting and everyone's first reaction is they think I'm going to get up and start screaming back. Or I'm going to, you know, and I I get up and walked away, you know, and I'm just like when, when you can respect me, we can have a conversation, but I'm not going to scream back and forth with people. I mean, I've done it, but you know what I'm saying. So, yeah, yeah, I need a minute.
Rick Costa:I think I tend to not automatically trash something. I instead go to but what if we did it like this? And I see the possibilities and like, oh, this could be better like this, instead of just trashing something I don't like it, my brain goes to how could we have made it better? Like that's kind of how my brain goes to.
Carmen Lezeth:Or is, or is it possible that it's just not your thing, like I don't have to make anything better. Like it doesn't matter how much you love whatever horror movie you love, like I don't know. Like there's nothing gonna make it better, except that it's a different movie. That isn't about horror. It's just not my thing. It's also like when I go to the museum or something and I see you know, uh, who who is? Is it picasso? Is it, is it Picasso? Who did all the kind of I don't know.
Carmen Lezeth:It's not just abstract, but it's like everyone's face is like crooked, yeah, picasso. And everyone's like, oh my God. And I'm like, yeah, not my thing, I see nothing in that for me. I think it's weird, it's deranged, it makes no sense. And yet if you look at Pollock and if you don't know who Pollock is but Pollock did all the drops of paint on picasso is ridiculous, like in my I mean not ridiculous, I respect the art, but you know what I mean like I have no joy in it. I'm like, yeah, that doesn't work for me, but yet pollock is just a mess of and I'm like that's lovely, I would pay one million dollars for that right, yeah, yeah.
Rick Costa:When I first saw picasso stuff not realizing, realizing, that's kind of a style in and of itself. Yes, yes, who's four-year-old drew that.
Carmen Lezeth:I agree. I mean, look, I'm not trying to dis Picasso, I'm just saying that's kind of the difference. But yeah, I had the same feeling and the same kind of, and also I kept thinking, like this is somebody with like issues of the human spirit. That's where I went. Why else would you break up someone's base and do that and and you know, and again, that's what art does, that's the beauty of it, you know? Um, yeah, yeah.
Rick Costa:It was shocking. And they recently have somebody sell something for like a ton of money, and it was. It was a banana with tape to the wall or something. Oh, you are kidding me, right? Yeah.
Carmen Lezeth:And then they did a Super Bowl commercial with Chris Hemsworth eating the banana. That was the art piece. You didn't see it. Yes, it's like all the Chris's. I think it was like Chris Hemsworth or Chris Pratt or something, I don't know. I don't know who was in the commercial, but basically they're walking around a museum or something and all of a sudden, you know they see that piece which is the banana with the silver tape across it, and they're like whatever. And then you know they shoot to something else, and then Chris comes over with the banana and he's eating it and then the other. I forget who the other actor was. I don't know why. I think it's Chris Pratt.
Rick Costa:Chris Pratt.
Carmen Lezeth:I don't know who it was, but the enough for people to spend millions of dollars. I don't get it. I understand why the artist made the piece, but why would anyone want to buy that for millions of dollars? Like you could do it yourself at home. I could do it myself.
Rick Costa:I think it's like a one-time, like a first time one-time thing, because then oh I'm gonna do that too. I'll put a tape on the apple, whatever, but nobody's gonna care because it's already been done before I know, but then, but I know, but I don't.
Carmen Lezeth:But you see what I'm saying, like, so then I don't get it right like I'm. I'm over here like being like can you subscribe to my sub stack? Don't worry about paying like like $8 a month or something, just do the free one. And here are people putting a fucking banana with a piece of tape over it and getting zillions of dollars. Here I am spending like four days writing my first article. I'm just saying it's just interesting. That's the brilliance of art.
Carmen Lezeth:So yeah, I will say, getting back to the pet peeve thing I think that's one of my pet peeves is when people disrespect especially. It's not just art, but for me, because I love film so much, it hurts me, I don't know. But that's why you saw me retreat when that happened. First of all, I was shook by the movie, but it was also like I, I don't, I, I've always loved Hollywood, it's always been a part of me. And and being on set Then you guys have been on set, you've seen movies being shot or whatever, and it's fascinating, right, and I think when you see how many thousands of people especially for La La Land, but for any movie that it takes to just create a movie, even if it's horror, I'm like okay, but respect, you know, I'd love to. I'd love to film a movie and I'm hoping to create at least a script for it, and I would love to do that.
Carmen Lezeth:But it takes a lot of work and a lot of money yeah, and a lot of people and yeah no, I'm sad, I'm like I'm never gonna be able to you able to create a movie or something I want to. I think it'd be so cool. I have a storyline in place to do it and yeah, again, it's that thing. Like you know what my pet peeve is? Can I tell you that everything takes money. If you don't have money, you can't do Jack.
Rick Costa:Unless you got a banana.
Carmen Lezeth:Somebody has to give you the money for that banana with the. What's that silver tape called? I keep calling it silver tape. Duct tape, Duct tape. Yeah, I keep calling it silver tape.
Rick Costa:That's all it was was just plain duct tape.
Carmen Lezeth:It's duct tape, it's a banana with duct tape. And here's the thing you have to change out the banana that's part of the art piece, because they're ripe. I'm like, I'm just saying I think one of my pet peeves is that the world functions on money and I still wouldn't do anything differently than the way I have done it my entire life, because it's all I could do is pursue my dreams the way I could, because somebody was asking me that day, would you say it's more important for young people today to try to make as much money as possible before they pursue their dream. And I'm like I don't even know if I could have ever done that. I don't think I could have ever, just been like, okay, my focus has to be making a lot of money and then I'll go and pursue my dream, because I think when you have a passion and a dream, that's what encompasses you. But this world is all about money and unless you know somebody who gives a real shit about your banana and duct, tape art piece.
Rick Costa:I think that's why we like star trek so much, because that's that's passe. There's no. Oh, let me get paid. No, pay, what's that? What's that?
Carmen Lezeth:well, the power structure is different, right? I mean, I think that's kind of what it is. And I mean so we're only talking about the enterprise, the world of the enterprise we see, and what we think the Federation is like, right, and what the world is like. Cynthia is like do I even need to be here? But you've seen Star Trek, so you understand. But money, there's no, there's not a money thing. It's not like oh I, I need to create a Shakespearean play and I have to charge people. No, you just go and work on it and then you invite people and you do your thing, you know.
Carmen Lezeth:But I said this the other day if it wasn't money, it would be something else in order to succeed, because it's, it seems to be the way in which humans are. Everything is about if I give you something, you have to give me something in return to get that thing Right. So if you need wood to make your house and I have the wood I can't just give it to you for free, because maybe I need eggs and maybe you have a chicken or something, I don't know. I'm not trying to be so simplistic about it, but when you think about how this, especially in our country, capitalism, how it all started.
Carmen Lezeth:I mean, I think that's kind of the thing is we. We don't do things just to do them out of the graciousness of our heart and because we want you to succeed, which is what the story of Star Trek is right. It's like they want data to succeed so badly at being human. They're like, yes, read this book, yes, try this, yes, play this musical instrument. And so he just does it. They do that because they want him to succeed. We don't do that in this country especially, but we don't do that in the world. We don't do anything without getting something for it, and I'm not trying to be mean, I'm just saying that's true.
Rick Costa:I think there's always been bartering that's time. I saw somebody posting something the other day that their electricity had gotten cut off. They didn't have the money and they're freezing they're really cold and the refrigerator food's getting spoiled and it was like I felt so horrible. I was like why can't I be a millionaire? Because I would get a split second. Give you whatever you need. That's in me to do that like. I would definitely do that without thinking twice and I'm like I'm broke too, darn it I can't.
Carmen Lezeth:I want it so bad. I think one of the things that was interesting about that is this is somebody who would never post on Facebook and Instagram that they needed help. This is like and I'm gonna knock on wood right now I would never post on Facebook and Instagram saying I need help and please can you give me some money. And that's how I knew this was for real real. And, by the way, this is someone who has spent their entire life helping other people and they got into a bad space. They got into a bad place and I was like I was the same way, rick. I was like fuck, if I had the money, I would just be like girl, take those posts down, I got you. I would just send her the fucking money.
Carmen Lezeth:But you know what ended up happening? People were on there being like is this? This is how? This is how much I knew. It was so heart-wrench. Her, all of her friends on Facebook not all of them, a lot of them were like is this really you? You would never do this. I need somebody to have a conversation with you. And she's like I don't have any power, I can't get on a FaceTime call.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:So then people, I'm sorry, that is not a friend, because if that was your friend, you, you would automatically just call them. Hey, are you?
Carmen Lezeth:okay, that's what somebody else did and said to verify. So there's the part where people are unsure if that's her on Facebook. Because, cynthia, it would be like if I went on Facebook and wrote it really is like this If I were to go on Facebook and say I'm having a really hard time. I don't have any electricity on right now, I don't have any money. Can you please go to my Venmo and send me some cash? I'm trying to raise enough money. Blah, blah, blah to get my lights back on.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:First of all, I'm not going to send you a text, I'm not going to send you another message on Facebook. I'm going to call you, I know, but you can't reach her because her phone is not working.
Carmen Lezeth:That's the problem. She's having no-transcript help. And so people are all like is this really her? I need somebody to do a facetime to check. Somebody hacked her account. And I'm like, oh my god, and I know that that's her, venmo, I know that that's her. You know what I mean.
Rick Costa:And I don't even know her super well, but just from little key things she wrote, I knew it was her. I didn't question it. I knew it was her.
Carmen Lezeth:But I understand why people you know what I mean, I know what you're saying, but I know why somebody questioned it, because it's something that no one would ever expect. You would never expect me to, cynthia, if I think that's kind of the thing it's like, and I know, rick, I agree with you. I mean it's one of my pet peeves. I wish I had enough money because I would have been like, take that shit down. I got you, take it down, but I it's money.
Carmen Lezeth:No one should be without fucking electricity in this country. Nobody should be homeless in this fucking country. Nobody should be suffering this badly. I don't give a fuck.
Carmen Lezeth:And this idea that people are lazy or that people that's not what it is either. We fall on hard times, things happen, things are extremely expensive Medical care we are all one paycheck away from being homeless. I don't give a fuck who you are, unless you are Elon Musk or all these other people who got money, money, money, homeless. I don't give a fuck who you are, unless you are Elon Musk or all these other people who got money, money, money. Everybody. My. I have clients who have lots of money, who freaked out because they lost half a million dollars and are now not going to hire somebody that we need to hire because they're so afraid of the market. That's somebody who has money, money not me money, money, money, money, and they're freaking out, and so because they have a family, you know, and they have to help people and they take care of people and it's like so what do you think the rest of us are doing?
Rick Costa:Another pet peeve I have is people that say oh yeah, me too. I live paycheck to paycheck. The next day, be like check out my new shoes, ain't they cool? I'm like, come to me with no paycheck. All I buy is food, that's it. What do you mean? You live paycheck to paycheck?
Carmen Lezeth:I know, okay, I feel a little guilty there because I, yeah, I do live paycheck to paycheck. I just don't have children or anyone to take care of, and so I am, you know, going to go get my hair done soon. No, I just, I agree with you. I think it's also people who cry poverty and use money unwisely. You know what I mean, um, so I agree with you. I actually do have to get my hair done, but, if you've noticed, I haven't so because, because I know, I mean, the market is volatile and I also know two of my clients who lost their homes, um, are not going to be able to keep paying us. You know they lost them during the fires. So I already know things are about to get tight too. But that's what I mean. Like, I mean, will I be okay for a couple months, sure, but after that, what am I going to do about my housekeeper If I Botox? You have that t-shirt.
Rick Costa:Here's the thing though.
Carmen Lezeth:I already told her. I already told her that after June I couldn't have her anymore. She doesn't know. But that's what you do. You try to set yourself up, you know? Oh my God, it's such a depressing. It's supposed to be funny.
Rick Costa:Or a laugh, at least Laughing at her. I know.
Carmen Lezeth:I just hope that our friend got what she needed. I think everyone pulled together and helped her out, so I hope she got everything she needed and that she's okay. And what a tough situation to be in. But I think that's probably one of my biggest pet peeves for this country is we have an idea of what homelessness is. We have an idea of what poverty is. We have an idea of what need is. And I'm sorry, in this country, in this great country of ours, no one should ever be in that situation, really. No, we have so much. We really should not ever be. And that's not about laziness, that's not about pull yourself up by your bootstraps, it's not about fucking socialism. It's about this country has so much abundance, kind and lovely to each other. And if we were people who really cared about each other as neighbors, we wouldn't look at a homeless person and just assume that they deserve to be there.
Rick Costa:Right. I mean, have these people even talk to them? I mean that I just actually I just did it once where we it was a bunch of church people he went one night and just talked to homeless people and that changed me, it really did. It's like changed me, it really did. It's like, wow, some of these people some of them, yes, they're a little mentally and so you kind of understand why they're in a situation some of them just fell in hard times. They just couldn't get back on track, you know can we explain the mentally thing, the limit?
Carmen Lezeth:can I give you a scenario and I'm not really saying it for you, I'm saying it for other people because that's one of my pet peeves. Okay, like so, let me put it to you this way. So the other other day I I actually did a tick talk about it I went to the grocery store and I bought a bottle of wine. And then I bought like a smaller bottle of wine. Like there's these cute little um, I'd show it to you, but I already drank it. It's like a little, it's like a little one. You can just get like two glasses. I've never seen like a mini wine bottle. You know what I'm talking about. So I was like you know I'm gonna have a glass of wine or whatever, but anyways, so I have a glass of wine because I had a tough day.
Carmen Lezeth:So can you imagine if I was homeless and on the street, having a really tough bunch of days strung together and couldn't find my way to a place where I could get help? Or maybe I did go to the shelter and when I got to the shelter I got harassed by some guy who was drunk and all handsy or whatever. Because if you've ever been to a homeless shelter. It's not like you all have your own private rooms, okay, Um, or maybe when I went to go get help, snap benefits or welfare benefits or something just to try to get me out of the situation I'm in, because actually what happened to me was I had a medical surgery thing that happened, and then at the same time my husband died, and when he died I didn't get any of his social security benefits because of a little snafu in the system that said, I didn't get to earn them. And then I got into a medical dilemma and then oh, by the way, I ended up not being able to pay the rent because I was a caretaker while my husband was alive, dealing with cancer or whatever, and so I lost my job.
Carmen Lezeth:I'm just spitballing possibilities here of stories I know have happened and we've all heard. But that's how it happens. It doesn't mean that that person wasn't a valuable human being with ideas and a heart and passions, but when things go bad, they can go very, very bad, and then you end up in a shelter, you end up trying to get help. It gets harder and harder. It is actually easier, especially if you live in California. I can't say the same for Vermont or Boston. But if you live in California, it is so much easier to sleep on that beach with the beautiful sky at night, with the waves rolling, with your glass of wine that maybe you bought with some money you panhandled because you've had a bad day.
Carmen Lezeth:You see where I'm going with this. You see how easy it is to become an alcoholic or to become someone who's constantly trying to just rid yourself of the pain that you're in by drinking. But I'm not advocating for it. I'm not saying this is what should happen. I'm saying there but for the grace of God, go. I, motherfucking bitches, stop being an ass to homeless people. And Rick, what you said see people for who they are.
Rick Costa:Yeah, I bet so many of them probably say to themselves I don't even get here.
Carmen Lezeth:I don't even get here. I can't believe this. All of them say that and you know drugs is the easiest way to. I just told you I drank, you know, a little mini bottle of wine because I had a hard day. I can't imagine what it would be like, you know, okay. So so maybe somebody gives you a $10 bill or something you know, when you're panhandling, maybe whatever you get like 20, I don't know how much people make panhandling, but maybe it's enough to like get you food. But why get food when you can get high and not think about it anymore? But we all want to be so moralistic, right? We all want to be like, but I would, you know what? What's $10 going to get you? $10 ain't going to get you an apartment.
Rick Costa:It's so little pleasure as it is.
Carmen Lezeth:So it's so little pleasure as it is, so why not? Yeah, yeah, and I look at my. I mean, you know we keep talking about pet peeves, but my pet peeve is us being heartless and unkind but then saying that we would be like, right, yeah, I would help anybody really, really.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:Those are the same ones that say I got you.
Carmen Lezeth:I got you, I'm here for you. I will support you by by subscribing to your sub stack or your. I got you, carmen, I got you Exactly. Yeah, pet peeves about your neighbors? Yeah, I'm not gonna waste my time on them.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:How about traveling? Pet peeves about traveling. Do you have a pet? Pet bugs? That is number one. Number one pet bugs.
Carmen Lezeth:That's funny. What's your pet peeve about traveling?
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:Not being at the airport on time. I hate rushing. Who wouldn't?
Carmen Lezeth:be at the airport on time. Oh, I'm always on time at the airport on time. Oh, I'm, I'm always on time at the oh.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:I always have to tell people that our flight leaves about a half hour to an hour earlier than what it does, so that we can get there on time and have enough time to relax are we when we're talking about people, are the people we're talking about one and we bring it full circle so funny.
Carmen Lezeth:Oh yeah, there's a woman on TikTok who I forget what her name is, but I follow her on TikTok and she goes up to random people and asks them questions and she'll say things and she's Black, she's a Black woman and what she's actually asking them is questions to see if they know anything about being Black.
Rick Costa:Oh, Lexi.
Carmen Lezeth:She'll go up to black people and ask them and she'll be like what, what, what, what?
Rick Costa:Yeah, soul school.
Carmen Lezeth:It's so funny, so she'll go up and ask them if I say I'm 20 minutes away, what time am I going to get there? Of course the answer is like an hour and a half, so she does all those.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:I saw her one time and she was asking a white girl and she knew all the answers. She goes, she's invited to the barbecue. Yeah, she goes you sure you weren't black in your previous life, right? She has an extra point right.
Carmen Lezeth:Well, like my favorite one, because it really is really distinct is like she'll be, like god is good and white people always say god is great. The answer is all the time Right, all the time, all the time. God is good. It's so funny. Yeah, it always cracks me up.
Rick Costa:I crack up too and she's like who is Booba the fool? Not me, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. But then the black people are like right me.
Carmen Lezeth:People don't understand mom and them. Do you guys get what mom and them is? It's mom and them. So when she says who's mom and them, everyone's like, uh, what I don't know? It's like mom and them. So it's anybody, it's all your anybody, the mailman, the anybody who's in the room at the time mom and them. It just it's so funny because I what a smart, interesting tiktok she, I mean brilliant, and I I didn't know you guys followed her.
Carmen Lezeth:Okay, good, she's really great. She's really great. Um, all right, well, I'm gonna end this. Um, thank you so much. That was so much fun. Thank you so much for being in the private lounge and remember at the end of the day. Oh, I should do a little bit of promoting ourselves, huh, yeah, so we are on youtube. You can find it under my name, which is carmen lisette. Um, you can also try to google it all about the joy, but I don't think it comes up under YouTube there. But you can also go to aatjoycom to find all of our links. Please also come and check us out on Friday nights at 6 PM Pacific, 9 PM Easter, where we have our live show and anyone can come and join in in the chat, and sometimes we'll have you come on If you have time. We had a great show last week with somebody. Where was he from, I forget.
Rick Costa:Maslam from England, Michael, but I'm so used to calling him Maslam.
Carmen Lezeth:That's always how he is. Yeah, but he was from Turkey. He's originally from Turkey, yeah he's originally from Turkey. It was really nice and he came on and that was really fun and Brian joined us. You there and that's it. But remember, at the end of the day it really is all about the joy. Bye everyone, good night Bye. Thanks for stopping by. All About the Joy Be better and stay beautiful folks. Have a sweet day.
