All About The Joy
All About The Joy is a weekly hang-out with friends in the neighborhood! We share insight, advice, funny-isms and we choose to always try and find the positive, the silver lining, the "light" in all of it. AATJ comes from the simple concept that at the end of the day we all want to have more JOY than not. So, this is a cool place to unwind, have a laugh and share some time with friends!
All About The Joy
When Leadership Embarrasses a Nation : Culture and Consequence
Raw, unfiltered, and desperately needed - Carmen and Andrea tackle America's most uncomfortable truths in this powerful episode that dives headfirst into the forces shaping our divided nation.
The conversation begins with a stark assessment of current leadership, examining the embarrassment many Americans feel watching their representatives on the world stage. When a president tells global leaders "your countries are going to hell," what does that reveal about America's place in the world? More troublingly, why has there been such a complete absence of moral courage among those who should serve as guardrails?
"When does money and fake power become less important than actual morality?" Carmen asks, cutting to the heart of what's happening across American institutions. The Disney-Jimmy Kimmel controversy becomes a perfect case study - change happened not because it was right, but because subscribers were canceling and celebrities were speaking out. The sobering reality: in America today, money moves mountains while morality barely shifts pebbles.
The most profound moments come when Carmen and Andrea share their contrasting experiences with police. Andrea describes being let off easy after admitting to drinking before driving, while Carmen recounts police calling for backup when she was simply waiting for a store to open. These aren't just stories - they're lived examples of how race shapes American reality, revealing why honest conversations about privilege and racism remain essential.
For listeners struggling to understand concepts like systemic racism, this episode offers clarity without condescension. If you aren't racist, Carmen explains, you don't need to take on that label personally - but denying racism exists altogether reveals more than you might intend.
Join us for this crucial conversation that reminds us why speaking difficult truths matters now more than ever. As Carmen and Andrea prove, progress begins with honesty, even when that honesty makes us uncomfortable.
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Music By Geovane Bruno, Moments, 3481
Editing by Team A-J
Host, Carmen Lezeth
DISCLAIMER: As always, please do your own research and understand that the opinions in this podcast and livestream are meant for entertainment purposes only. States and other areas may have different rules and regulations governing certain aspects discussed in this podcast. Nothing in our podcast or livestream is meant to be medical or legal advice. Please use common sense, and when in doubt, ask a professional for advice, assistance, help and guidance.
Hey everyone. Welcome to All About the Joy. This is Culture and Consequence with Carmen and Andrea. Okay. I'm sorry, say that again, Andrea. Hi. Hi. How are you? I'm great. How are you? I'm great too. No.
Andrea:Okay. Good chat. Nice checking in. Good chat. It's you know what? It's I'm just, I'm, I'm, yeah. You know what? I made the mistake this morning of I'm like, I'm just gonna see what's going on in the news. Instead of just reading, like looking at my regular whatever, I was like, let me just see what's going on in the news. And of course, I open up whatever YouTube, TV, or whatever. And there is Donald Trump speaking to, I believe, the president of Turkey, Erdogan. Is that how you say I don't even know how to say his last name? I think that's how you say it. Something I don't I doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. I wasn't even I was shook by again the amount of tacky ass gold. Andrea, what is that? It's a national embarrassment, is what it is. On many, many levels. Like every time he speaks, it's just like, oh my god, oh my god, what is happening right now? It's just so cringe. There's a word that the Germans have for secondhand embarrassment. I can't I can't remember what it is right now, but it's like you're so embarrassed for somebody else who's too fucking stupid to be embarrassed for themselves.
Carmen Lezeth:Anyway, yeah, no, no, no. I and again, so we can talk about the word the we have so much to talk about, but I just I was like, why is the White House so gaudy tacky? Like the decor, and you know me, I'm all about decor. I'm not, I don't, but it's like what I noticed again, and it just totally bothered me. But yeah, I'm I'm embarrassed on so many levels for us, and you know, he would he couldn't say the word, which I forgive him for this. I know Andrea's gonna hit me right now, because he couldn't say the talent and all, right? He couldn't say a set of fitum. I can't say the I can't say it either. I actually have a stutter though. And here's the thing if Joe Biden had said it, they would have crucified him, right?
Andrea:And you're not the president of the United States saying people shouldn't be taking Tylenol.
Carmen Lezeth:So right, but here's the thing too. Like I would have practiced, I would have practiced, I would have been on point, maybe would have learned how to say it ahead of time. I would have learned how to say it, I would have figured out, or I would have figured out an alternative. I would have done my homework, my research to make sure that I came across correctly and that the American people understood. But you know what? Who cares about him not being able to say the word? What the fuck with the Tylenol thing? And let me just give you an update, just for one second. Dr. Oz and JD Vance, who were standing behind him as he was talking about how bad Tylenol is and that pregnant women shouldn't take, today were both in separate places talking about, I believe one of them was Fox News, about walking that shit back. They're saying that it's not true. And so why would you stand there and let the president of the United States give this press conference and not? I I I don't get it. Okay, I'm overly frustrated.
Andrea:Back to um a few previous episodes, uh, which will clearly be a running theme here. Uh, they're cowards. There's just a total lack of courage. And and in these, I mean, with these specific people, they have ulterior motives, right? They want to be there close to power and they want to shoot their shot and have their chance and all of that. So they're not going to you know disrupt that by disagreeing or correcting, god forbid, or anything like that.
Carmen Lezeth:When is that second to your moral core?
Andrea:Like, when do you when you're a modern day Republican? That's that's when that, you know what I mean? Like that, there is no moral core. There's no moral core. There's gotta be a moral core somewhere.
Carmen Lezeth:Does there? Because I'm not seeing it. No, I'm not seeing it, but I'm saying, when does okay, so let's say that the Republican Party, like you're right. I I honestly don't understand why some of these Republicans are standing by this bullsitery, like and some of the stuff. Let's talk about the UN. Let's talk about what he said at the UN. I I wrote it out, I printed this shit out. Okay, when discussing migration, Trump told world leaders, I'm really good at this stuff. Your countries are going to hell. What the fuck?
Andrea:Okay, I just want to say before you go on, um, I was in Canada this week. I was in Canada from Sunday. Removing to win. Jesus Mary, Joseph, and whoever else make it happen for me and my family. Um, because well, as a side note, Canada has its problems, no doubt about it, but it has a lot of the good things about the United States and much less of the bad. So, you know.
Carmen Lezeth:I just want to re I just want to remind you that I am the godmother to your two children. So I am also family.
Andrea:Family migration can be. I'm just saying, if it makes if we're going to Canada, we're gonna go. But my point is that I was in Canada while all of this UN shit was happening, right? Like they had uh and I happen to be watching BBC News. Um, so they were, you know, during the whole um, you know, when Mahran was uh recognizing Palestine and then all of the commentary and whatever after that, and uh I mean, just literal miles from the border, everyone's like, what in the fuck is happening in that country right now? I mean, it's mind-boggling. I know, and I see it on people's faces. I know.
Carmen Lezeth:I know that people are going to, I'm gonna get feedback like if you don't like this country, leave. I'm not leaving my country. Okay, she will go, I will, I will fight for my country.
Andrea:It's a lot harder than you think it is, by the way. Nobody wants us.
Carmen Lezeth:That's the other part, too. It's not that easy to go anywhere because then we'd be the immigrants. Oh, they don't want us, they don't want us, but I also, you know, this is where you and I have always been very different. And, you know, I I still love my country. I still I'm gonna fight for it. And I was thinking about this the other day. I was like, you know, when I say I have faith in the American people, and you're like, absolutely not, like, I'm thinking about the good American people. I know, I know. Okay, I'm just saying I still have faith that we can figure this out. The problem is, is I want people to understand, especially people who watch us who are Trump supporters, and I don't think we have that many anymore.
Andrea:I don't think so. They're like, uh why would I watch these two digits?
Carmen Lezeth:I just because here's the thing: there's there's the part of me that believes people have been duped into this shit. And for whatever reason, I know we're gonna be like racism, economics. I'm not even talking about those people. I am shook by the Republican leadership that keeps allowing this to happen. I am shook by the Supreme Court that continues to allow this to keep going. I mean, we can get into the Jimmy Kimmel thing. That's a great example.
Andrea:Yeah, I mean, look, I you probably won't believe this, but you know, I was talking with a friend a couple of weeks ago about this. So the same one I was having the conversation about the military, I was like, why are they just, you know, military leadership who still exists there? Like, why are they just all, you know, yes, siring? And he's like, that's other otherwise it's a coup, right? And I said to him at the time, I was like, I am embarrassed to even say this, but way back in 2016, I was like, that he'll be gone in six months. Republicans just aren't gonna stand for this, right? Like, I actually thought they're like it's a bridge too far. I know, and I feel like a complete idiot for even considering that that was a thought. I really did not expect them to completely not only lay down, but like, please walk across my back multiple times and piss on me, and I'll be fine with it.
Carmen Lezeth:You know, I think I'm shook by the Supreme Court, probably most of all. Like, just I am shooketh by how and I and I I I guess I shouldn't be, but again, it goes back to that idea like when does money and fake power be the less thing of actual morality and what is right and what is good. But then I think like the German people were probably thinking the same thing during the Hitler thing. Like, I I just I don't understand how people can keep supporting Donald Trump. I don't get it.
Andrea:Yeah, uh, I mean, obviously I don't either. I I think, you know, going back to Jimmy Kimmel, right? Um, which is I mean, he even said it in his thing, like, I'm just a late night talk show person. This is not the most important issue. It happened to be widely publicized. People did something, they actually took an action, right? I think I read somewhere yesterday that a million people canceled their streaming, you know, and uh how much effect that had? I don't know, maybe probably some, right? Because that's money. Um, but like I think when it be when your question, like, when does it become about more about more about morality versus money? And I think it's when people decide that it does, right? When the people decide that it does. And we we haven't, it's very difficult to have that kind of collective mobilization here without something really specific, like a Jimmy Kimmel type of issue that everybody is aware of, and that there's an actual thing they can do to say, I don't like this.
Carmen Lezeth:I mean, I think that's fair. And I think I sent you an email that this whole Bob Iger thing, right? The head of C the CEO of Disney, the reason why he did this isn't because he had some moral clarity, it's because he was seeing the bleed. Like it wasn't just people unsubscribing to Disney and Hulu. It was the people, and I know some of these people saying, We're not taking the cruise. We're not taking our family to you know what I mean. And and it was, and it was like within a day they saw how those numbers were gonna keep going. And then when the celebrities came out with the, you know, I think it was the ACLU and put all their names down, and you're talking the likes of like, you know, Meryl Streep and Robert De Niro, like the big names, like the big names came out as well. Like now it wasn't just the people, right? It was now the amplification by celebrities telling people on TikTok, I mean, there were people who work for Disney who are actors working for Disney saying, don't go see the movie, don't go, da-da-da. Like, and that's what I think, and that's what kind of bums me out. I'm glad it worked, but what I'm bummed about is that it didn't work because Bob Iger was like, you know what? I'm doing the wrong thing. The right thing to do would be, but no, he was like, shit, we're losing a lot of money, like, and we're gonna lose. My shareholders, my shareholders, shoot, my motherfucking pocket. That's what he was doing, and and and it just bums me out because money is what makes the world go round, not love. Isn't there a song about that? Wasn't there a song or a saying or something like love makes the world go round or something? Songs and whatever about that. Yeah, I mean, I hate that, Andrea. I just fucking hate that money is. I mean, I'm not trying to act like naive, like I didn't know that, but it is so clear, especially because they keep allowing the bullshit or they keep happening, and it's because of money. And I keep calling it pretend power. That's not real power.
Andrea:Well, yeah, I mean, I think a lot of the reason, uh in addition to the racism and whatever, um, that that a lot of these people are still supporting him is because like tax cuts.
Carmen Lezeth:Like, it's just so like if I can pay a little bit less, but it's not tax cuts to us, it's not tax cuts to regular people. No, I know how much money do you need? Okay, but that's my point. I agree. I know.
Andrea:Well, I just I started to do a little bit of research, as we sometimes do, to look at as we always do when we get on the phone. As we always do, because I was like, all right, what is you know, number one, how much money do they make? What divisions do they have? What are their most money-making divisions? And I started to get into it, and then I was like, it doesn't fucking matter. They made $35 billion last year, and they have their hands in this, and they have their hands in that, and they have their hands in this other thing, and they're trying to have their hands in another thing, and it's like stay in your fucking lane, right? Make some cute animated movies and have Disneyland. Like, why do you need everything?
Carmen Lezeth:You don't, you just don't. I just think it's also that part of it, too, is and and look at I'm not here to try to change the world, but I don't understand why you need more than 35 billion. Like, what are five billion? Or I don't understand the necessity. And I think it's a company.
Andrea:No, no, but you're not loved enough.
Carmen Lezeth:I know, but I'm just trying. Look at I understand why a lot of regular American, especially white folk, I really don't get black and Latino and LGBTQ people who support. I I don't. That is like a manifestation of shit that is beyond my pay grade. But I understand why they got duped into this. And I'm gonna keep saying it that way because I I get why they supported him. What I don't understand is now that they see exactly what we were saying all along, why they continue to support him when nothing he said is actually happening for them. And they're not gonna get the tax breaks, and they're not gonna get like farmers. I keep talking about the farmers because I'm like, y'all voted for this, and now you're begging for reprieve. And he's gonna give it to you because he wants you to vote for him again. You know what I mean? He wants you to keep him in power because he actually thinks you can have a third term because he also has not read the constitution and doesn't realize he cannot.
Andrea:Right. That's a whole other conversation. I mean, I'm not I I'm not gonna disagree. I think that some people were duped. I also think that releases a lot of people from responsibility for their actions, so I don't totally agree with that. Uh, but I also think that it's hard for them to, it's hard for anybody to admit they were wrong, right? To be like, oh, I was like, you know, full force into this. I was 100% Trumper, I've got the bumper stickers, I've got the t-shirts, I've got the hats. It's my whole personality, but I personally am now screwed. Like it's very hard, I think, for people to to come out of that, right? Um and also racism.
Carmen Lezeth:I'm gonna say racism. So is that the other part why you think they haven't like that? The other, like, say you say some people were duped, but like you think the other part of it is just people are racist, or why do you think people are Trump supporters, especially back then? What's your thought process on it?
Andrea:Yeah, they're racist. Like, like, I mean, I it's uh it it sounds like simplistic and and like reductive, but as we know, people will forego something that they know is good for them, something that will clearly benefit them if it means they have to share with people whose skin is darker than theirs. If those people can have the same thing as me, none of us get it.
Speaker 03:Right.
Andrea:It's like a child having a temper tantrum where you're like, oh, I'm gonna give, you know, everybody some candy. Well, I don't want everyone to have it. I want it, so nobody gets it. And I'm gonna scatter your hands all over the floor so now nobody can have it.
Carmen Lezeth:Right.
Andrea:Okay, I believe it is.
Carmen Lezeth:I I honestly believe that there are bad actors who are uh, you know, they've they they've done a lot of stuff this week, which I'm not gonna get into. Like, for example, the I'm gonna say it, the Bibles that were sent to some of the schools. So, you know, there's a school, I think it's Oklahoma, Arkansas, one of those. They sent the Bibles that are going to be what you need to teach your children in the public schools, like every public school classroom has to have this Bible, and this Bible has the King James version of the Bible, and then it also has the Constitution, it has the Bill of Rights, and in this Bible, they're missing certain amendments, and it's like that's not an accident. And the person that was talking about it, like, this is on purpose.
Andrea:So, look, I think that yes, there are bad actors who are um what's the word I'm looking for? Like they're they're feeding into what already exists there. There's maybe some racism, either you know, overt or latent racism that's out there, right? And there are bad actors who are like, let's let's pump this up, let's do some things to get this, you know, and they're pumping money into it, they're you know, pumping content into it, obviously, you know, the whole uh Project 2025. I mean, that's again decades of work put into like let's get someone in there. And it, you know, I'm sure they didn't know it was Trump 20 years ago, but let's let's find our guy who's dumb enough to just like parrot whatever we say because he wants the votes and we can throw some money at him and you know let him get up there and be crazy and nobody cares, so that we can push our agenda.
Carmen Lezeth:Right. That's true.
Andrea:There's I mean, it's it's ugly.
Carmen Lezeth:It's really ugly because I don't know what people fear about people of color. I really don't. I mean, I'm I'm not saying that as one of those people of color, but I'm confused. Like, why do you think you're going to be able to fight against all the people in this country who are here and built to this country? Like, we're gonna walk away and be like, oh, you know what? We're sorry. Yeah, you're right. White people rule, we're good. We'll just go back to being slate. Like, I don't understand what the point is. Like, what do you think is ultimately going to happen?
Andrea:I I read this somewhere, and it, you know, I don't, I'm not saying this is like the full answer, but it did ring true to me that you know, um, white people are afraid of ultimately being treated the way that they have treated people through the decades, over the centuries, right? They're afraid of they think I'm gonna have a slave and it's gonna be a white person. Well, like I mean, maybe not that exactly, and I'm I'm not articulating it like super well, but essentially, you know, they're afraid of retribution, right? Like they have we can't even like what even is the word that you use for how like horrifically they have treated black people, Native Americans, Mexicans, Asians, or I should say Latinos, Asians. I mean, over the the centuries, they're afraid of becoming a minority, and then all those people are like, all right, it's our terrain now, you know what I mean?
Carmen Lezeth:Like, right, but it goes back to that thing that okay, so white people watching this are gonna be like, I didn't do nothing. I'm you know what I mean? Because that's always the conversation.
Andrea:And again, I just want to say, I'm it rang true. I'm not saying that's completely it. I'm not saying I think that's gonna happen, but it's something.
Carmen Lezeth:Okay, like we have in our conversation. I forgot we don't hear now recording. Like I'm not getting into it now. Here's my thing is I just I know that there will be white people who are gonna turn around and say, like, that wasn't me. Why do I have to pay for blah, blah, blah? Right. So, and that gets into the whole idea, like, well, it's not that you have done anything wrong, it's that you are benefiting from all the wrongdoing that has been done to people in the past, and we are not able to be equal because of that history. And it's like trying to understand that history is really difficult for people, you know, because they feel like they're being blamed for something they didn't do. Now, I ain't talking about the people who being racist right now because we know who they are. I'm talking about regular folk who will turn around and be like, I'm not racist and you're blaming me for something I didn't do. What's your answer, Andrea?
Andrea:Well, I mean the answer is yes. Okay, fine. Then work towards equity, right? If you're not racist and you don't believe that you have done anything wrong to, you know, to get the backlash of like, oh, you're being racist or whatever. It's you are, as you said, benefiting from centuries of being treated differently than people of color. And so if that's uh if that's not a problem for you, if you feel like, hey, okay, well, that's just the way that it is, and you're not racist.
Carmen Lezeth:And if you're not a racist person, why do you allow that to bother you so much? Like, that's the thing I don't get. Like, yeah, why does it hurt you so much to be like, oh my god, I am not racist? Okay, well, okay, but you can't deny that it exists, right? But I think what you said earlier is true. I think they feel like they being white folk feel like uh they're going to be wiped out somehow, and or we're going to do what was done.
Andrea:Well, I I don't know why anyone would think that, but I don't know how it works exactly in their minds, but there's obviously significant fear among some factions of people of color having power. And you see this in you know what's happening with uh journalists, what's happening, even you know, all of the firing of of black women specifically in the federal government.
Speaker 03:You know what I mean?
Andrea:Like like they don't want people of color to have power. Why? Why not? Because they're scared. What are they scared of? What are they scared of?
Carmen Lezeth:Super, super scary.
Andrea:Most people, most people, I will say, just want to live their lives, right? Want to be able to buy groceries and pay rent and have a car that works, and maybe go out to dinner, go on vacation, maybe even take a little weekend trip here and there. Like, that's all people want.
Carmen Lezeth:Anyone, all people, yeah.
Andrea:They want their kids to be happy. I mean, like, what is so scary about this?
Carmen Lezeth:But maybe there is something there. I mean, maybe I never thought about it as people being afraid of retribution or thinking we would do the same thing, or the weird thing is, is in my world, and I'm talking about like I'm not speaking for all black folk, but I'm just saying in my world, we just want equality. Like, there's never I've never heard anyone like, okay, when we get in power, here's what we're gonna do. Like, we're not even thinking about power, we're thinking about equality.
Andrea:Like, well, this is fair shake. To me, like, that's the kind of like um, I don't know, like brain disease, right? Like, that's that's what they collectively, again, not everybody, blah, blah, blah, they have done with their power. They can't think of it any other way, right? They can't think of it anyway. This is what you do when you're in power because this is what has been done for centuries.
Carmen Lezeth:Yeah, and and and then it's easy to, you know, hear people like Charlie Kirk, and you know, may he rest in peace, but hear people like Charlie Kirk say things like, if I see a black pilot, I question how he got there, you know, like and then that resonates with white people because I don't want to get on the plane. That's yeah, it's like, wow, if anything, if I see a black person who's achieved what little white people have achieved, you know what I mean? Like that barrier, I'm like, they must have worked 25 times harder to get there.
Andrea:Yes, they're working so much harder, and they know if they make even the most minute mistake, they are screwed. So they, yeah, same. I had a black pilot on my way home, and matter of fact, and I was like, Thank you, Jesus.
Carmen Lezeth:But then that happens too, right? Like people then are like, why do like I've heard this? Black people think that they're better than white people, and I'm like, okay, all right, I don't know what black people you're hanging out with, but it's again, it's like, no, actually, there are great black people, there are good black people, there are mediocre black people, there are sucky black people. The problem is, is you all think all black people suck. You know what I mean? Like, that's the problem. It's so odd to me. I don't know how we went down this rabbit hole, but it's just because racism, it's because racism, that's gonna be our tagline.
Andrea:I know.
Carmen Lezeth:I just find it weird, disheartening. It breaks my heart as an American, as somebody, and you know, I've always been very patriotic of this country. I've always loved my country. It's not the same anymore. I don't feel that strongly about it anymore, but I'm gonna fight for it. But it breaks my heart to watch people in power saying the things that they're saying and doing the things that they're doing, not to uphold actually what I think are. No matter what I think about the Constitution and when it was written or whatever, there are values in there that matter. Well, used to matter, I guess. It used to matter, you know, uh free speech being a very important one, you know. Uh, and even though Jimmy Kimmel did win this one, win this one, what I'm sad about is that he won it because of money, right? Not him, but because of the amount, not because legislators or people came out or somebody came out and told Trump in his cabinet, dude, this is wrong.
Andrea:You know what I mean?
Carmen Lezeth:Like, um, because he couldn't take a joke. By the way, again, I'm gonna say it till I'm blue in the face. You watch Jimmy Kimmel talk about that um that whole situation, he does not say anything that bad about Charlie Kirk at all. What he does do in that is lambass Trump. And that's why Trump's going after all these other people. Yeah, because he why is he watching so much TV? That's the question. No, and he's fucking busy.
Andrea:I'm so confused. No, he's not because other people are actually running the show. He's true.
Carmen Lezeth:Yeah, Stephen Miller. You're right.
Andrea:You know, Stephen Miller and I'm I don't think JD Vance, frankly, is running anything, but uh, you know, uh other people are running the show and he's out there, you know, golfing and sitting on the toilet and watching TV.
Carmen Lezeth:You know, that's very rude of you, Andrea. I don't know. I'm I'm just heartbroken, I guess. I I don't know how we're ever gonna make sense of things on this show. Like, how are we going to fix it? How do we fix it, Andrea? Like, if you could fix it, what would you fix first? Racism. Oh my god.
Andrea:Where do you even start? Like, I don't, I don't know. Um, I don't know how you fix this. I really don't. I mean, obviously. You've got to have an honest conversation, though. And I think that's like I know people don't like to hear this, right? I don't even really like to talk about it that much. Right?
Carmen Lezeth:Yeah, I mean like the whole fucking show.
Andrea:But like you, uh as far as I'm concerned, like you just have to be real about it. You can't, we cannot fix it unless we can say what it is.
Carmen Lezeth:Okay, can we talk about it on a level of race just for a moment? Because you are a white woman, even though you have and and people don't understand the difference between race and ethnicity. I think that's the other problem, right? Race is about characteristics that are the same in every group. There's not that many races. So black, white, you know what I mean? Like skin color, hair color features tend to be there's not that many. I think there's like six races. Um, but people confuse that with ethnicity, right? So I am a black woman, but I am also less. Latina and I have Portuguese in my background. I have um my mother's from Honduras. There's all of this stuff in my background that has more to do with ethnicity and culture. But I am a black woman because most people walking down the street don't go, oh my God, she's mixed and Latina. And like they don't think that they're just like black women, right? Same thing for you. I mean, I'll let you explain it because you're you're a white woman.
Andrea:I am a white woman. Clearly, I am a white woman. Um, I have a very mixed background, but uh, you know, my mom's family is who I grew up with is Mexican. So those are the people that I grew up with, and that is my sort of culture that I understand and relate to, and whatever. And I married a Latino man, and um, you know, but primarily my ethnicity is, and I don't even know if he would, but you know, is uh like British, and that's a that's a nationality.
Carmen Lezeth:That's a nationality, right? Don't confuse people like English, in the simple, like in the simple thing, I think people need to know that race is about really in this country, all about color of your skin, right? That's not all it is, but that really is it's kind of the same thing.
Andrea:For most people, it's like right. Are you Asian? Are you black? Are you Latino? Are you white? Right.
Carmen Lezeth:That's what people say, and um, and and so when you understand that, then you can see the complexities in the background of like what ethnicity, and so people get it all confused because you benefit, you have privilege from being a white woman. So could you explain it from that point of view, like what that means? And why are you not angry or afraid I'm gonna take over everything you have and do? And how come you're not afraid of me, bitch? I'm a black woman.
Andrea:No, I am sometimes you're scared. No, I'm like, I'm not talking about just gonna yell at me. Right. Um, I mean, privilege. Okay, I'm just gonna give an example to hopefully explain it a little bit. It's kind of a weird one, right? So one day I'm out driving, I met some people for drinks, uh like happy hour. I was there for a couple of hours. I'm driving home, and I am at uh one of those checkpoints, a checkpoint where the cops are stopping everybody, right? And I looked very profound, you know, had my hair blow dry, didn't makeup on, you know, suit, whatever. Um, and the guy stops me, and I'm like, okay, you know, in my head, I'm like, all right, I did have a margarita like three hours ago. Like, do I say that I had one or not? And this was this was a while ago. So now I would just be like, you know, roll up my window, but like, I'm not talking to you.
Carmen Lezeth:But anyway, but you'd get away with that. I would not.
Andrea:Yes, I would get away with that. And I'll I'll get it. Anyway, so he asked me, Have you had anything to drink tonight? And so I said, Yes. I had a margarita at 5:30 or whatever. And he looks at me and I said, and I was like, I had a couple of glasses of water after that. A lie, and that was a lie. I already no, that's true. Always drink water with your alcohol people. No, no, you should do that. I just think um and he sort of looked at me and just, you know, he said, you know, where are you going? And I was like, I'm going home. Here's where I live, whatever. And he just handed me my stuff back and was like, all right, go on. And I knew, I knew in my bones, he let me go because of the way that I look. Yeah. I knew it, right? I didn't have to step out of the car. There weren't any really other questions. There wasn't like a, you know, let's get out of the car and do the whole shebang. I knew it, right? And I've had other run-ins with police, not a lot, but and I I'm gonna say I have kind of an antagonistic um, you know, vibe because I just don't kinda kinda trust them, right? And I have reasons for that, but I can get away with that. I can be a little bit snotty and a little bit snarky with police because of the way I look. I cannot do that if I have Carmen in the car, if I have my husband in the car. I cannot do that.
Carmen Lezeth:And I know I can give a counter because I've I've talked about this before. Here's the difference. Also a few years ago, I went to Whole Foods in my car and got there too early, right? It opened at like eight or something, and I was there at like 7:30 or something. So I said, instead of driving back home and going into my garage and stuff, I'm just gonna go up and park at the school. And this was like a, I don't know, it wasn't it, there was no one at school. Do you know what I mean? It was like a Saturday or whatever it was, a holiday or something. And I parked at the school, just on the street where the field is, and then there are houses on this side. I had a cop car pull up behind me. I think I've told you the story. They pulled up behind me, they got out of the car and came and talked to me. And as they're talking to me, and I'm like, hands on the, you know what I mean? I'm all freaking out. They had called for backup, and another cop car came. I was just waiting for Whole Foods to open. I was looking, I wasn't driving, I hadn't drank, it was early in the morning. I was, and if I could tell you that's the only time that that's happened, that I have been pulled over or for doing absolutely nothing. You know what I mean? Like, and look, and I'm I'm gonna say this. I'm also very lucky because I have light skin privilege, right? Which I know confuses people. And the way that I look, like if I was dark, dark skin and had different features, I think that would also play in this in a very different way. You know what I mean? But I'm luckier than most people of color who have to do, especially black men, black men and black, dark-skinned women have the worst when it comes to cops.
Speaker 03:Yeah.
Carmen Lezeth:And I really don't want to fucking hear about all cops, that it's not all cops, blah, blah. We're giving you an example to understand what race is. Because anybody who knows us knows we would never intentionally do something illegal. I certainly would not. Like, if anyone in this room would do something illegal, it would be it would never be me.
Andrea:I'm like, am I illegal? I mean, you know, am I speeding here and there?
Carmen Lezeth:Yes, yes, never speeding, never speeding. Like, I mean, but I'm just saying, like, that's kind of it's the funny thing, right? Like, I'm the rule follower, I'm like the patriotic one, I'm the one that like every but but people will assume certain things based on what we look like. Yeah, yeah, you know, oh my God, I didn't know we were gonna go down this rope. But but that's kind of what we're talking about when it comes to race, so people understand. And I think I'm I'm not trying to close out on this, but I do want to say if you are not racist, if you are a white person and you know in your heart you're not racist, then don't take it on. Like, don't take on the label, but don't deny it exists, like because you know it does. Like, I know you know it does. How could you not right? How could you not know that it exists?
Andrea:Yeah, if you if you're gonna try to say that you don't, you know, I don't see color, right? That you don't think it exists, then I'm just gonna put it out there, you're probably racist, right? Like I think people pay attention.
Carmen Lezeth:Okay, okay, but I'm gonna put a little twist on it. I think some people want to believe in the utopia world where everybody's treated equally, and they want to believe that. And I and I I totally get that. I want to believe it too. You have no idea.
Andrea:You know, the good vibes only people, right? It's like, I don't see it, it's not here. We're all just like gelling together. Like, okay, that's great. And maybe like in your circle, it doesn't exist, but you gotta step outside and see what the reality is beyond maybe your particular bubble.
Carmen Lezeth:And also when you say racism doesn't exist, you're denying all the experience of pain that people are having, right? I think that's what happens too with the whole cop thing with police officers, you know. Of course, I know some really good police officers. I do, you know, like I do, but it doesn't matter if a whole bunch of them are doing bad things and those cops are not doing anything about it, right? Like it doesn't, you become part of the collective if you're if you're still okay with somebody treating somebody so badly that it causes their death.
Andrea:You know, like well, and I I mean, you know, we could have multiple shows about what's happening in LAPD and LA sheriffs, but uh I know I recognize that it's very, very difficult once you are in there. In fact, it's dangerous as a cop, as a cop, to speak. I get that. Um, and you know, there are people who maybe go in with some intentions of like, I'm gonna be solid, I'm gonna, you know, keep my do the right thing, I want to help people.
Carmen Lezeth:Most cops do the same thing as uh the fire department does. When people go into these professions, they want to help people, they want to do the right thing. But I'm gonna disagree with you a little bit because I actually think the problem with the police department, we'll have to have this conversation, maybe we'll do it next week or something, is when you look at what it takes to become a fireman and what it takes to become a police officer. 100%. Yeah. Way different. Yes. And I'm sorry, this person has a gun. Like this person has lethal weapons.
Andrea:I I am no defender of the police departments. Don't you don't get me wrong. I'm just recognizing that it can be dangerous to speak up when you are inside. And you know, however, this is a huge, huge, huge problem within police departments across the country, right? That they are allowed to essentially, you know, wreak havoc all over their communities with total immunity.
Carmen Lezeth:Yeah, yeah. All right, so we're probably gonna talk about cops and ice and stuff next week. Maybe that's what we'll do. I don't know. But I think we'll end it here. We're not gonna get canceled, we're just not gonna have anyone watching. But you know what? It's okay, because we're doing what we need to do to try to help other people see it from a different perspective.
Andrea:That's all that, yeah. This is what you asked me, what we can do, we can have honest conversations. This is the honest conversation from our perspective.
Carmen Lezeth:Yeah, and it's a hard one, there's no doubt about it. We always have the hard conversations, and um, yeah. So listen, everyone, thank you so much for supporting us and for watching the show and for being so awesome. We really have gotten a lot of views. I think it's because they hate us. I don't know. I don't know what it is. Uh but thank you so much, and um, we'll see you again next time. Remember, at the end of the day, it really is all about the joy. Bye.
Andrea:Bye.
Carmen Lezeth:Thanks for stopping by, all about the joy. Be better and stay beautiful, folks. Have a sweet day.
