All About The Joy
All About The Joy is a weekly hang-out with friends in the neighborhood! We share insight, advice, funny-isms and we choose to always try and find the positive, the silver lining, the "light" in all of it. AATJ comes from the simple concept that at the end of the day we all want to have more JOY than not. So, this is a cool place to unwind, have a laugh and share some time with friends!
All About The Joy
Naming the Petty, Protecting the Vulnerable
What if the loudest stories in politics are really about insecurity, not strength? We start with the whiplash of overnight headlines and a White House obsessed with optics, then trace how petty theater bleeds into policy with life-or-death stakes. The thread is simple and sobering: when leaders reward cruelty, the most vulnerable pay for it. We dig into the targeting of gender-affirming care, the threats to hospital funding, and why deference to doctors and real expertise is a civic duty, not a partisan stance.
From there, we get personal. Faith without empathy rings hollow, so we revisit the early AIDS era, Magic Johnson’s watershed moment, and the way testimony can change hearts. We talk about projection—how unhappy people outsource their pain—and the antidote that actually works: service. Helping others reliably produces joy and meaning, which is exactly why it’s absent from the politics of resentment. The money conversation follows naturally: nonprofits and tax write-offs, the discipline of “enough,” and the hard truth about billionaire wealth, loopholes, and the public goods that should never be optional: health care, education, housing, clean water.
Culture gives us oxygen. We celebrate Rob Reiner’s legacy—from When Harry Met Sally and The Princess Bride to Spinal Tap and Misery—and how great directors pull out performances that remind us what empathy looks like. Even our Hallmark detour has a purpose: why familiar tropes soothe when the world spins off its axis, and where brands lose the plot when they chase reality-show gimmicks. It all circles back to a promise: name the petty, protect the vulnerable, and choose compassion as a daily practice.
If this conversation moved you, share it with a friend, subscribe for more candid culture and consequence, and leave a review to help others find the show. What’s one small act of service you’ll choose this week?
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Music By Geovane Bruno, Moments, 3481
Editing by Team A-J
Host, Carmen Lezeth
DISCLAIMER: As always, please do your own research and understand that the opinions in this podcast and livestream are meant for entertainment purposes only. States and other areas may have different rules and regulations governing certain aspects discussed in this podcast. Nothing in our podcast or livestream is meant to be medical or legal advice. Please use common sense, and when in doubt, ask a professional for advice, assistance, help and guidance.
Hey everyone, welcome to All About the Joy. This is Culture and Consequence with Carmen and Andrea.
Andrea:So, you know. Right though.
Carmen Lezeth:It's all okay if you look good. Right? It's all bad up. Oh my god. Okay, we're recording, blah, blah, blah. All right. So I I don't know how to start, but I I am in a really bad space. So I want to explain to people something. When you produce a show, even a little YouTube podcasting, up-and-coming show, um, you actually have to schedule. Can you hear me okay? Yeah. I am. Yes. Okay. Um, you actually do have to schedule things to talk about. You know, like even like even if you think reality shows that you watch on TV are reality, they're not. They're unscripted, but there's an idea of what people want, the way you're gonna do a shot, whatever. And it's the same thing with all of our shows that we have here at All About the Joy. And what I do is I sent you, I don't know, it was what, mid-afternoon. Here's what I think we should talk about. And see you tomorrow, blah, blah, blah. You know, here's the itinerary, whatever. And you usually respond and you'll be like, yes or no, or I want to add this, or whatever. Like, but there's we have an idea, and you know, we we we have it written out. I make my notes, you know, whatever. Okay, here's the problem. I think it was two hours later that I'm like, we can't talk about any of that because there's now 10 other things we need to discuss.
Andrea:Okay, yes, but I just I'm gonna throw this out there. I have been super, super slammed with work. So I don't, I haven't even looked at the news this morning. I know there was a thing last night. Uh I don't know anything about it. Okay. So I I'm I am fresh. I am ready to go. Throw it at me. It's all gonna be like candid and on the spot.
Carmen Lezeth:Okay. Okay. Okay. We're gonna take a break for a moment because I need you to figure out are you actually, is your mic actually on? It's the correct one. Because you actually sounded better in your hotel room. Uh well, it was a smaller room.
Speaker:There you go. There you go. I can be closer.
Andrea:I can't be back here, is what you're saying.
Carmen Lezeth:Oh, yeah, yeah. You probably have to be a little bit closer, or you could move your mic closer to you. Oh my god, or you can move the mic close the toilet.
Andrea:I have the mic condom.
Carmen Lezeth:Yeah, okay, you did get it. Good, good, good. I'm glad. So that should help. We'll see when the gardener comes. Whatever. I might leave this in because you know, people like the funny stuff, anyways. So, all right, so forget everything we were gonna talk about because it's irrelevant. And I'll just tell you the thing that yes, Donald Trump. I I don't even want to call him president. That's how upset I am. I am angry, but he did a 20-minute spiel last night that was uh it just off the rails. First of all, he lied in every single like it. I don't even you don't have to watch it. You already know what happened. I have no plan to, yeah. Yeah, I know I'm shook it that this is where we're at. So he did that last night. Um, this morning, what's that woman's name? Giselle Maxwell fucking sex trafficking bullshit with Jeffrey, whatever. What's her name? Delaine is how you say it. Yeah, sex trafficker. Yes. She's actually asking for her conviction to be thrown out. Yeah. Okay, cool. Uh-huh. All right, cool. Somebody described Trump's delivery of his thing last night of Trump gives crazed adderall induced 20-minute speech, and that's exactly what it was.
Andrea:I'm sure they had to, you know, coke him up for lack of a better phrase, just to get him to stand there and not fall asleep for 20 minutes, you know.
Carmen Lezeth:It was just ridiculous. Gavin Newsom wrote this could have been an email, which I thought was hilarious. I was like, short up. Um, and I look at I'm I'm in a bad mood today for so many reasons. Robert F. Kennedy Jr., that fucking other piece of shit, is pulling out gender-affirming care. And if they do that, or they are doing that, if any hospital in the country tries to give any of that, they're taking away funding from all hospitals. Hospitals get about 40% of their funding from the federal government. And I am like, I don't know nothing about gender affirming, I don't know nothing about it, but I sure as hell no, Robert F. Kennedy Jr. and Donald Trump don't know jack shit about it. Do you know what I mean? Absolutely not.
Andrea:Yeah. It's just, it's it's a genocide of transgender people, is what it is.
Carmen Lezeth:Absolutely. Look at here's my thing. I the lack of compassion is so profound. Okay, the thing that got me off the rails this morning, because that wasn't enough. Okay, that wasn't enough.
Andrea:Relentless hourly onslaught of bullshit is not enough.
Carmen Lezeth:I know, but you know what? I'm just so upset this morning. I okay, I don't know why this is the one that's like really made me almost tear up the room. And I know what I said it doesn't even matter, it could be anything because I know, but I know that you're gonna be kind of annoyed with me for saying this, but I this is the one that threw me over the ledge this morning. And that's why when you logged on, I was listening to fucking Marvin Gay or Diana Ross. Yeah. I'm trying to like feel better, like so I can have joy. Um, this motherfucker, I that's what I'm calling him. Because I know, I know I am not going to be able to leave. I throw that around pretty, pretty freely. You really don't. So I do. I know serious. I'm pissed. I am so pissed. I'm so pissed at this government, at this man, and at all of the people that are fucking enabling this bullsitery. And I don't give a fuck. If you are still supporting him, I don't care. Do all your thumbs down. You're the one listening to my fucking show. I'm so sick of it. You know what I mean? I got a couple of emails, and some people were like, um, we disagree. I don't care. Don't watch a show. There's so many other fucking okay. I shouldn't probably say that. You can watch, you can hate, watch if you want. Hate, watch it all you want. Hate, watch all you want. Okay. That's why hate, watch it all you want. Okay. All right. This is what threw me. So Donald Trump has been spending his time at the White House putting those gold leafs everywhere. You know, he's really want that. There is all the portraits of the presidents of the United States, all the former presidents in the White House, in the hallway or whatever. He has written on plaques our tax dollars. Donald Trump has written on plaques under each ev under every president what he believes, because that's what it is, what he believes is their contribution to the United States and what they did as president. Biden doesn't even get a picture at all. Like and it's like Sleepy Joe or something. It's oh my god. It's so fucking first of all, petty. Yeah. It's not his fucking house. Like that along with the East Wing. What the fuck? And secondly, why is the president? I want people to understand, the president of the United States wasting his motherfucking time on decorating with that god-awful bullshittery and writing fucking bullshit lies about every president before him. What is there nothing going on in the world? Nothing else that you could be dealing with.
Andrea:It's just like a blaring red siren that says, I am insecure. I mean, that's really what it is. Yeah, exactly. Like he has no faith and shouldn't in his own ability to stand out. So he constantly has to tear people down. And this is, you know, he has to walk by it every day. It makes him feel small because he is small. And so he's gotta change it to make himself try to feel better. It's uh, you know, if he wasn't such a raging psychopathic asshole, it would be sad, but it's really just something that you know, we yet another thing for us to be profoundly embarrassed and enraged about.
Carmen Lezeth:I think it's the you know, it's it's so petty, it's so beneath the office of the presidency. Like, and I know a girl, I know you have hated, I say this with love, hated Republican presidents, right? I know. I may have disagreed with Republican presidents, but I've been like, you know, this is my country, it's my president. You know, I have always been ultra patriotic, and I am like, you motherfucker, I hate you. It's so petty, Andrea. It's so, so beneath the office on so many levels.
Andrea:Well, I got I mean, yes, it is. I agree with you, and um, you know, that's how I thought I texted you, or yeah, I texted you when I was coming home, and we flew right over the White House, not directly over, but close enough that I could see it really, really well. And to see it, I mean, it looks like it has a limb cut off, right? And I was just so sad and angry. Like, how did we let this petty sack of fucking human shit into our home? Yeah, the people's house. That's literally what is gone is where we would enter the people's house when we went through. So we are no longer allowed in there, and if we were, we would get to see the lovely Hall of Presidents with all of his petty stuff. But it was just like I cannot believe and got, you know, as you said, like I've never been like, oh my country. Never.
Carmen Lezeth:The fact that you texted me that day was crazy, right?
Andrea:It was just I flew over and was like, I had a pit in my stomach. It's awful, it's awful. And I will say, just as you said, I don't care if you believe in all the same policies or any, you know, all of the stuff, whatever I have my feelings about it. At the very foundational level, I know, I know people know what he's doing is wrong.
Carmen Lezeth:Yes, I you know what? I'm yes, I agree 100%. There's no choosing, you are choosing.
Andrea:I have lopped off a you know a side of the White House. I am you know desecrating the achievements of the other presidents. I mean, there's all numerous we could sit here and only talk about this, all kinds of things that well, the straight up lying.
Carmen Lezeth:Straight up lying, yeah. The gas, like he said gas was a dollar ninety-nine somewhere, and I'm like, why is he like just and nobody stops him? Yeah, and that Caroline, what's her name? That Carolyn Douchebag, what's her name? Yeah, I'm I'm on fire today in terms of the gas prices where I was last week and was like, why? But wait, that Caroline, what's her name? I think douchebag is right.
Speaker:The the press secretary, the 28-year-old who looks like she's did you see the pictures? I can't think of anything else. Okay, yes, let's talk about her and her filler.
Carmen Lezeth:Okay, this comes from the Vanity Fair article, right? The Vanity Fair article. That's what you're talking about, right? Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Um, that they have been interviewing. What's her name? I don't even know her name. Susie Wiles. Susie Wiles. Chief of staff, is that correct? Yeah, which I would have never known. But I guess the the Nazi guy, yeah. Seriously, don't watch it. Which one, girl? Which one? You need to be Stephen Miller. Well, the the straight up Nazi guy. Steven Miller is the deputy chief of staff acting as president. Okay. I guess he's the deputy. I don't know. What else? I don't. He they're just all cruel people that are all incompetent. That's what I'm gonna say. But she's been around forever since the Reagan years.
Andrea:So um Oh, the the what's her name? Susie Wiles. Yeah, yeah. She's uh she's old school. Yeah.
Carmen Lezeth:So she did an interview for Vanity Fair, and they've I guess showed part one, uh, whatever. Here's the thing though, I think I I I don't I am not a conspiracy theorist at all. But the fact that the White House is standing behind some of the shit that she said, and after talking to Billy, my you know, my my brother from another brother, I realize now, like, I think this is kind of all planned out. Like, I don't think it's as much of a like they're saying it's a hit piece and what she said, but none of them are upset with what she said about them. They're not upset about it. So, anyways, but the pictures she probably honestly has more power than a lot of them.
Andrea:I bet she's a huge power broker. Um, but the shit that she said about them was, you know what I'm saying?
Carmen Lezeth:Like it was pretty impressive. But, anyways, I'll send you why I've changed my mind about why I don't think I I don't know. You know what? I'm not a big conspiracy theory thing, but I don't trust nothing with this this White House. I cannot, I cannot give them the benefit of the doubt, but let's get to the pictures.
Andrea:Yeah. So all of the photos, all of the photos, I thought, because I kind of looked through them um yesterday. Beautiful. Well, I okay, I I saw hers first, Carolyn's, and I was, I mean, it was literally like a spit take. I was like, Carolyn Levitt.
Carmen Lezeth:Right.
Andrea:And then I'm just gonna say it. I did zoom in to look at some things because you know I how I am about makeup, right? Like, I'm always gonna be like, what's going on with the makeup? This woman is like 28 or something. Yeah, she looks 30. First of all, first of all, I'm not even I'm not even down here yet, okay? Like, she's having professional photos done. And there was some kind of like, I don't even know what was happening over here underneath her eye. There was like caked in makeup, like they didn't like clean up her eye. I was like, okay, somebody, probably a lot of people, do not like this woman, right? And just like she just looked like she never had a glass of water, and like the it was so like caked on and everything, and then and then you move down to the lips, and it was it was disturbing. It was like I was actually feeling like I this hurts just looking at it. Like, I don't I've never had any lip stuff done, I don't know what it, but like I'm pretty sure it's not supposed to look that way. I mean, it looked like she just had it done 10 minutes ago, like it was all like swollen, you had all the dots and everything, and so again, multiple people don't like this woman to let her go out and do that, but the photographer was like Christopher Anderson, let me capture the reality of who you are, which is totally fake, totally addled with your hate and your evilness, and it just emanates off of you, just like the rest of those pictures. You look at those people's faces, it's like a it's like a you know a lineup of villains, just look in their eyes, they look like dead inside, their faces just look twisted and fucked up, like and I I loved it. I was like, okay, this man knows what he is doing, he knows what he does. I mean I read the article, I didn't read that.
Carmen Lezeth:That's his style of photography. I mean, that's kind of what he does. He does these close-up pictures. Um, he's done them of George Clooney, of Mikhail Barishnikov, he's done them of so many people, and they capture the essence of who you are, and they are always really close up. So if you ugly on the inside, that's what's gonna come wow. Yeah, yeah, but I mean, he he, you know, he doesn't just take one picture, so I just want to be uh clear as well. That was a choice. That was the one that was chosen.
Speaker:That was the one that was chosen, and I'm like for reasons, yeah.
Carmen Lezeth:Here's the thing I I I've never had lip filler. I was just cracking up because uh I don't need lip filler. Most people do not, but people like to have fat lips or whatever. I find it interesting that it didn't dawn on her, like you said, the makeup. Like in my head, first of all, I didn't know that's how they did it for some reason, like because now I know they do it like this, right? Because now I just thought they injected it like into your I thought they did it. That's what I thought they did too. So I learned something, but you think she would have done like don't they have pencil liner or something to hide that?
Andrea:I'm like I said, like it looked like she literally like walked from the chair where she had it done into like they were like the glove spots.
Speaker:It was so gross, it was so gross.
Carmen Lezeth:Yeah, and her makeup and her makeup and her face, and I just I just saw like it's so sad because I would have said she's like 40 something, late 40. She looks horrible, and but that is what emanates when she's at the podium. Just a lot of negative, nasty anger. Like you can look at other press secretaries, whether you like them or not, but there is an essence of I'm here, I'm I'm honored to be here, and I'm giving information, even if I have to be me. She just seems angry, and she seems like always trying to defend the indefensible, like it's just it rots at you. Nasty.
Andrea:She's a nasty nasty and like a profound liar.
Carmen Lezeth:I mean, exquisite, profound liar. Um, but they all have been who work for him. Yeah, yeah. Um remember that first one about the crowds, that guy, I don't even remember his dumbass thing. Remember, he was like, Donald Trump has the largest inauguration crowd, and we were all like, it's like a clown car, they just pile out, like, oh yeah, crazy mofo. Remember, he was the first one, and I'll never forget I was like, What is the right?
Andrea:Wasn't that yes, Sean and then Huckabee? Oh my god. Oh my god.
Carmen Lezeth:Yeah, but she's like a yeah, I don't want to talk about that douchebag either. Yeah, I'm I'm hating these people today. Um, yeah, what about the other pictures? Did you see some of the other ones?
Andrea:I did see the other pictures. There was a handful of group photos, and then there was like they knew they were going to be doing it that day.
Carmen Lezeth:That's the weird thing. Yeah, it was weird.
Andrea:There's the one of JD Vance that like I was looking at them online, and some of the comments were like, I like how the photographer has the just a just a hint of the chair. You know, and he's got his hands like right here, and his eyeshadow looks all weird and creepy.
Carmen Lezeth:I don't know. These are not beloved people.
Andrea:Are not beloved people, these are not serious people, these are not smart people. Again, like you said, I have uh hit have and continue to hate um several Republican presidents, but it like it's so debased. Like they're just not people who should be running like a Waffle House, much less of our country.
Carmen Lezeth:I mean, I think that's a thing about you and me that is very different now, and I can sense it from you on a I I know you're gonna hate what I'm gonna say, but even if you hated Republican, like I mean, I think for me and you it's more about George W. Bush. That was the Republican uh president that we both were fighting. But I didn't know you during Reagan. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I didn't know you. Um Reagan was that old who I hated. What Reagan was my first who I hated. Yeah, no, no, but I'm just saying, like, I just remember George W. Bush and our conversations during that time period and stuff. And even though you hated and it was anger and whatever, I don't think you ever. I don't know. You're gonna I don't know. We would have to cut this part out. I don't think you ever like he was the president of the United States, and even if you didn't respect him, I think you thought that he was at least being president of the United States, even if you didn't think he was competent. Like you were like, okay, he's president, but I disagree with him on every fucking thing, and I'm gonna challenge him on everything, but you weren't like he's defacing the office of the presidency. Do you know what I mean? And I think you gave him his flowers once in a while, you know.
Andrea:Well, I won't say that, but I know, but I here's what I will say like, and it it's truly difficult for me to say. Um, I believe that these people in the past had a respect for the country and for the office. Dick Cheney is who I mean, yeah, like I almost feel like throwing up saying it, but like, yes, he respected the office, he respected the institution of the executive and and the others, and the Congress, and the Supreme Court, like they respected it and their methods and what they did, whatever, but there was a level of respect for sort of who wecks and balances be.
Carmen Lezeth:Checks and balances, like they actually respected what the Supreme Court would say, or they would respect what Congress would say, and they would, you know, like a loss of a loss, right?
Andrea:Like, okay, we didn't win this one, right? We'll we'll live to find another day, you know. Um, it wasn't this is different.
Carmen Lezeth:This is very different.
Andrea:The incompetence is profound. It's just like a group of like completely spoiled entitled kids who've never been told no, and like they're running rampant, rampant, you know, through the destruction of our country.
Carmen Lezeth:Yeah, I really want to say something else though, too, about um Robert F. Kennedy Jr. I I don't know anything about gender-affirming care. I do want to go back to this. I don't have children. I can only imagine what it's like for a parent and a child to have to come to certain decisions as things are moving through in whatever that conversation is, whatever that pain, sorrow, joy, whatever it is. But the idea that this idiot, Robert F. Kennedy Jr., is making these decisions that are going to affect so many people.
Andrea:I negatively affect. I mean, that's it's like it's negative, actively doing harm to people. Almost every single policy that that man has is like, I am actively trying to harm people.
Carmen Lezeth:Why are people so obsessed with transgender people? I guess that's my question. What is the obsession with LGBTQ? Like, why does that scare the Christian right so much? Andrea, as I ask you, being the scholar of all Christianity.
Andrea:Um I mean, I don't know what it is. I think it's, you know, there, I'm sure there's a lot of things, but it's partially that they're an easy target. Like they're vulnerable, very vulnerable. Um, and and they do need support in order to get the care that they need and to be protected, like, you know, to not put trans women in like male prisons populated. You mean like it's that those kinds of things. Like they need protection and they need support. And it's very easy, I think, for some people to be like, yeah, no, we're not gonna do that. We don't believe in that, so you have to believe what we believe, right?
Carmen Lezeth:I guess my thing is is I like I always try to understand the other people's point of view. And in this case, I think most people are in in this administration are just incompetent. I just don't have another way to say it, so I don't trust you. Yeah, they're what cruel. Yeah, well, the cruelty is the point, but I'm just saying, like, even if I would try to understand, because I know there are a lot of people who have issues regarding anything that isn't like them, but the easiest way to say it. Yeah, but I'm just trying to understand, like, it's this weird thing that I have, which is called, I don't have to understand it, but I can have compassion for the possibility that I don't understand it enough and I'm not in it and it's none of my business, but that other people who are smart, like Dr. Vin Gupta, who is an incredible, incredible doctor who is speaking this morning on the subject. And I was like, why would I question him? Why would I question somebody who has school and years and years of education on the subject? And by the way, do people actually believe that transgender and LGBTQ? I'm putting these two together, not because they're similar, but do you think this is a new thing? They've been around since the beginning of time. Yeah, that's what people don't understand.
Andrea:They're never going to eradicate it, they're just gonna make it really, really dangerous for people. But why would you want to eradicate it to begin with? Like, yeah, well, that's question number one. I mean, like you said, like same with like there's a lot of things that honestly aren't my business. It's not my business. I don't even know about it. I don't even really have to have much of an opinion about it. If it helps somebody and it makes helps them to live a better, happier, more fruitful, more productive, more joyful life, okay, fine.
Carmen Lezeth:Right. Yeah, and please show me in the Bible where it says transgender folk do not deserve love, kindness. You know what I mean? Like that's the other part of it too. Like, show me, because you believe in the Bible so much. I don't, but you show me where it says that exactly. It does not. And it's that weird thing where it's like, I don't have to understand everything on the planet. I can actually trust that my fellow human beings are doing their best, their due diligence to be kind and helpful to other people. And that's the part I don't understand. If you believe in the Bible and you believe in Jesus and you believe in his teachings, why are you so crass and angry and pissed off at things you don't fucking understand? And by the way, the population of transgender people that we are talking about is minuscule. Yeah, most of you will never meet someone, huh?
Andrea:All of the, you know, hand-wringing and all of that about like transgender athletes. I mean, it's literally, it doesn't even you will never be.
Speaker:I think it's like four people, right?
Andrea:Isn't it four in the Olympic or something?
Carmen Lezeth:It's a small amount, yeah. Yeah, I don't know. I I I did not mean for this to be a transgender conversation, but I'm glad we're having it.
Andrea:Like it's about pe people who are vulnerable, and it's them today, and it will be you know, and and others, right? It will be other people tomorrow. The whole point is that what is who is harmed by these policies and and well, Andrea, it's the money.
Carmen Lezeth:It's the money. That money is going to the wrong people, and they're taking away my tax dollars and giving it to people who are choosing. Can you imagine choosing? Okay, can we just all right? We're gonna have this conversation. I'm sorry. Can you imagine choosing to not want to be a woman? Like I want people to just think about that. Could you actually choose not to be the person you were born to be?
Andrea:Right, like they just, you know, read a book or saw a movie and were like, oh, I want to try that. Oh my god, I want to be that.
Carmen Lezeth:Or I I I was I was thinking about this the other day. I was actually talking to Billy, we were having this conversation, and I started thinking about I grew up, well, actually the 70s and the 80s. So I grew up around gay people my entire life. I had no idea that there was anything wrong or bad. I wasn't thinking about sex. Like I wasn't, I like I wasn't even thinking about it. So it wasn't even an issue. And then the AIDS crisis happened. And I didn't understand why everybody was hating on people who loved each other. Like I was so confused. I'm not trying to be like I was so with it or whatever. I really had no idea what the big drama was. And then people were dying, and I remember being so heartbroken because um people died, people I knew died, okay? Yeah. And they had the AIDS quilt or whatever. And the hatred, the amount of hatred towards people who loved each other was so foreign to me. And I'm kind of glad. I'm kind of glad I grew up that way. I'm glad because I didn't see it as an issue because I was taught to love my neighbor as myself, to treat people as I wanted to be treated, right? I grew up Catholic or whatever, but it's also just fucking good moral compass. Right. And I just I'm floored by the amount of people that have so much hate in their heart, and it's really none of their business. And I remember the turning point where people started understanding that AIDS wasn't about being uh gay. It was uh when Magic Johnson, God bless him, I don't care what anyone thinks about Magic Johnson. That motherfucker did something back then that he didn't have to do and he changed the trajectory of how people thought about AIDS. Do you remember that? Like it was amazing. And I think for me, I feel bad for people who have so much hate in their heart for shit they know nothing about.
Andrea:I believe that it's but they're they're just unhappy with their own lives, right? These are just sad, miserable, unhappy people who don't have the tools or the resources or the whatever to deal with what's happening internally, so they just spew it all out at other people.
Carmen Lezeth:So you blame people, I mean, that that kind of explains a lot of Trump supporters, too. Like it's so much easier to blame black and brown people or whoever, Asian people, whatever, than it is to take responsibility, you know, pull yourself up by your bootstraps, take responsibility for your own plot in life instead of blaming every other person for quote unquote stealing your job. I mean, that's it's the same kind of thing.
Andrea:Yeah. I mean, there's just a real, real inability to look within and ask, what's my role here? What's my responsibility here? What do I have to learn? How can I personally be better? Um, you know, just as a person, not necessarily. How can I help my neighbor?
Carmen Lezeth:How can I help my neighbor?
Andrea:How can I help somebody else? You know, can I see that someone is struggling, suffering, whatever? And and that's truly, I mean, that's what actually makes people happy, right? That's what brings people joy. Think about it, right? All of the times when you've actually helped someone, it almost feels like it's selfish sometimes. Helping other people, being of service to other people, it's I think studies have actually shown that's how you get true happiness and true joy. So the more that people are hating and pushing their hate on other people and making their lives worse, it builds within them, right? It's like a this self-fulfilling cycle of like, I'm just gonna hate and I'm not gonna help. And so you just get worse and worse and worse, I think.
Carmen Lezeth:No, no, I I I think you're actually right. I think that's the the the thing that people don't understand is that when you give, you get so much more. It's this this is why I hate nonprofits. I really do. I know all over the place. Oh, let's say let me just tail you off. This is where the real dirt is. Wait, so this is where the real dirt is. I know because I've worked for a lot of nonprofits, one in particular, which you worked at too, basically, but it it was a family foundation. Lots of money, lots of money. And but they would only give money to other nonprofits because when you give money to other nonprofits, you get a tax write-off. And it's my biggest pet peeve with fucking wealthy people. You know what? Don't give money just to get a tax write-off. Give money because you have it and you get the actual feeling of helping somebody who actually needs the help. Nothing against nonprofits that are set up to help others. I get it. That's not my point. My point is when you have an abundance of whatever it is, love, kindness, money, when you have an abundance of that, you can choose to give that freely without any fucking conditions and without the expectation of getting anything in return. And what you don't understand and what Andrea is talking about is you get so much more when you give that way.
Andrea:It's true, it's life-altering, and it's you know, it it it's there's all there's almost no other feeling in the world like it.
Carmen Lezeth:There isn't, and that's why, like when especially when I was working at my other job and I was making so much money. I to this day, one of the regrets I have is that I, you know, bought a condo because certain people, not not Andrea, but you remember, I do, Arlene. Back then, I didn't say no names, but back then, people, you know, back then before the the housing crisis um and the economy crash, everybody was like, if you had any amount of money at all, everybody was telling you to buy a house. Nobody says that shit today. No, they told you that today.
Andrea:It was, it was like if if you got 25 cents in the bank, you need to go get yourself out. Oh, yeah.
Carmen Lezeth:I mean, and so I remember because Arlene would be like Carmen, stop giving away your money. You you're not getting a tax write-up. And then I had a business manager at the time, and he was like, Yeah, you you have to be able to put this in this or do this or buy condo.
Andrea:I remember it was very much like you have to. And yeah, I remember you even telling me, I have to buy this condo.
Carmen Lezeth:I have to buy this condo. Yeah, and I it was it's one of the biggest regrets of my life because the thing I enjoyed doing, and Andrea, I think you were there for some of it. I enjoyed giving money away. Yeah, and I just would give it away. And I mean, I wish I had the money now to give away, really, to a lot of people. I wish I did, I mean for myself. I would just give it to me.
Andrea:But I just the amount of you had enough, right? I mean, this is uh one of our running themes, right? Like, no, do you understand what's enough for you? You understood what was enough for you, and it yeah honestly, it wasn't that much. No, it wasn't above that. No, no, no.
Carmen Lezeth:I was making, I don't mind, I share this all the time. I don't mind, I was making with everything, I was making like $250,000 a year. That and and back then, that wasn't that much at all. I mean, it's really not that much at all now. That's nothing. I mean, it is something, but I'm just saying because the economy's changed, but I don't mind sharing that. I mean, I was like, for me, that was being a millionaire back then, you know, because you had everything you needed.
Andrea:If you wanted to go out to dinner, if you wanted to buy some nice shoes, if you wanted to take a trip, you could do all of those things. Yeah, what more do you need?
Carmen Lezeth:I didn't need anything else, and then I fucking put like 400 grand into a fucking condo, and then I fucking no, I'm just kidding, don't get me started again. We just got me into a place of joy. Yeah. No, but it was it was. You brought it up. What? I said you brought it up, not me. No, no, I'm just saying, like, I feel no, I'm actually laughing now because I think that's probably what people are missing. And I think you made a really great point. If you are continuously in that space of negativity and just constantly trying to blame other people for the thing that you're in, maybe what you need to do is stop, stop thinking about yourself and go help somebody else. I wasn't gonna bring this up, but so yesterday I was walking down to pick up a prescription or whatever I was doing. And um, this older man, like I mean older, like late 70s, 80s. I've got to stop saying that because I'm gonna get yourself. Oh my god, I'm getting I'm getting closer. I don't know, I don't know. But he was walking my way, and and I had my headset on, and I thought he had to ask me a question. And I was like, Oh, what do you need? And he pulled out, I shit you not, this really happened yesterday. He pulled out this rose, it was like in his pocket, this little, okay, and I've put it in this water and now it's like it's blooming, it's so pretty, right? Okay, and he didn't speak English, like I don't know what his language was or whatever, but um, and I was like, Oh, thank you so much. And then he went to give me a hug and he kissed me on the cheek, which I have to say freaked me out a little bit, a little bit. But I didn't retract. I I let him, you know, and then I and and that was it. And it was so freaking. And I I carried this thing with me to get the prescription, and I started thinking about like first of all, I'm sure he's very lonely or whatever. I'm sure it was a kindness, but I'm sure nobody's talking to him. I don't know, like there's a nursing home around you. I don't know what the answer is, but how weird is it that we don't say good morning to people. We don't, and now this rose has made me so happy. I thought it was dead because I and then I put it in this little water. But it's that act of kindness that I know you think I'm full of shit. I swear not at all. It's lovely, it's totally happened, and I'm like, but you know what? We don't we don't know our neighbors, we don't give a smile, we don't give without getting some tax write-off shit. I wish look at I love that Amazon woman that she divorced that motherfucker. What's his name? Oh, uh Kim, but her McKenzie McKenzie. I love it. Every five minutes, she gave five billion dollars to this place, six million dollars to this place. I'm like, I need her to just give money to people and stop giving it to so many organizations that are nonprofits, and I don't want to hear about it. Yeah, but if you want my address, it's AL box.
Andrea:Student loans and some healthcare debt.
Carmen Lezeth:If you could just send it our way, you could contact me all about the joint, right? Like, no, no, she's doing great stuff, but it's kind of that thing too. Like, I just and maybe she is giving, I don't know. But just she's never not gonna be a billionaire because of all her investments.
Andrea:Well, like, and maybe she's trying, right? Like, I I don't know if she's really trying to not have any money, but like she's certainly giving it away as best she can in a way that none of those other boroughs are.
Carmen Lezeth:Yeah, she does it to I I was reading an article about her because she keeps giving a lot of money away, but because of her other ex uh investments, she's making that money back, right? So there's a certain point where you have so much you literally almost can't give it away. And I don't think people know what a billion dollars is. No, I don't think people understand the gravity of a billion dollars. If you take a handful of sugar, if you get a handful of sugar like this and drop it on a plate, and that's a billion dollars, one granular of that is one million dollars. That's but it's true, yeah, yeah, one little granular of that pile is a million dollars.
Andrea:Yeah, there's a I mean, you can look it up. There's all kinds of things where it's like, you know, a million dollars is you know, 33 years or whatever, you know, whatever it might be. I I'm probably wrong, but you know, a billion dollars is like, you know, a hundred and fifty years, or you know what I mean? It's like it it's it's a number that you can't wrap your head around. And you certainly don't ever truly need to have in your life. You couldn't spend it all if you drove.
Carmen Lezeth:Well, because at that point it becomes that's no longer about money, that's about power. And so I always like to use Michael Jackson as an example, and I I I do love Michael Jackson's music. I don't that's not the argument we're gonna have or whatever, but there is this idea that at some point he had so much money, and I don't think he was a billionaire. He might be now after he's dead, you know, because he keeps making money, but he had so much money he didn't know what to do with it.
Andrea:Yeah, absolutely. You there's no way that you can even know how to spend it. I mean, that's why these guys are buying rockets, and you know, what I don't need, well, yes, that's you. Uh, you know, doing what did Mark Zuckerberg spend all the money on, like the virtual reality glasses that nobody wants, and now it's wasted money. You know what I mean? It's they literally don't know. They're like little kids who are like, hey, let me know the rocket, let me go to Mars, you know.
Carmen Lezeth:They're in look at this goes for all of them. Mark Cuban, all the billionaires I do love. Mark Cuban, Oprah Winfrey, you know what I mean, Warren Buffett. There's a lot of billionaires now. And it's really before there was like one or two, and now there's like 47 or something. It's a ridiculous thing. And what's happening is here's my theory. I don't care what you you can make as much motherfucking money as you want, but we cannot have homelessness. We cannot be people having people who are hungry, children who don't get lunch. Like, I don't want to have that kind of money and know that people are still on the street. Like, to me, it makes no sense.
Andrea:Well, yeah, I was gonna say there's so many billionaires now because they have taken all of our money. Yes. Like, that is money that should rightfully be going back into the country, society. We should have fully funded health care, we should have fully funded education. Nobody should be homeless, you know. Everyone should have clean drinking water.
Carmen Lezeth:I mean, Andrea, that's socialism. It's not, it's not no, you know what, that's actually not socialism. That's being a good, decent human being. That's having that's having a functioning society, is what it is. Yes, yes. And here's the thing if they were like, and we can get into this whole tax thing, but if people were being taxed the same and corporations weren't able to uh find a loophole so that they don't have to pay taxes and they don't have to pay people decent wages, that's where the inequality comes. Because if they were paying all their correct taxes, then we would have all of this money. Taxes go to the government so that the government can then, you know, pave your roads, pay for your police officers. And we're just saying pay for health care, educations, hospitals, like that, finding cures for shit like cancer and whatever and warm brain diseases, whatever the fuck this man has. I don't even know what the fuck that story's about. But I was like, whatever. Yeah, it's it's distressing, it's distressing. It's distressing. All right, let's get back to a really good topic though. Okay. Well, first let's talk about Rob Reiner. I didn't know if you had. Look, it I ain't gonna bring up that motherfucker what he said because I'm just gonna get upset. So let's just leave that alone. But Rob Reiner and his wife Michelle were brutally murdered this past weekend. It was heartbreaking. I know everyone has heard about it, but he was so beloved. But I really do think he is one of these people that we did not realize. We did know he was a great director, but it's almost like now that you see his catalog, you're like, oh, oh, oh. So I didn't know if you had a favorite um Rob Reiner movie.
Andrea:I do. Um, I've seen a lot from that, you know, I've seen that whole sort of like 80s, early 90s catalog, um, surprisingly for you, I bet. Um I just asked the question and I wrote some of the movies down just to see. So and I think they're all great, right? I mean, um misery is one that really stands out to me. I remember seeing that in the theater and was like, oh, like it's intense. But Kathy Bates' amazing, right? And one of the things about Rob Reiner that I was, as I was kind of thinking through the catalog, was that he got great performances out of people. Like if you look at these films, it's like great performance after great performance after great performance, which it's not my world, you know more about that. I would imagine that says a lot about who he is as a person and a director, right?
Carmen Lezeth:Um, also just before you go on to the next part of this, it's because he's also, I think, uh, he's an actor, so he knows how to talk to an actor, and that's what I also think is the part of it. Because remember, he was an all in the family show. Yeah, that's why I think he was great at getting great uh performances, but guys, I'm sorry.
Andrea:Um a couple of the standouts for me, um Spinal Tap, just because a couple of reasons. Number one, I grew up around musicians for a big part of my life. I've seen that movie, I truly don't even know how many times. Yeah, I still quote from it on a regular basis. I love the whole mockumentary like style of things. I love a lot of those movies that came after from some of those guys who were in Spinal Tap. Like it's just a personal like comfort movie. But I got like, if I really think about my favorite, it's gotta be when Harry Met Sally. It's just like such a classic. Another one that I quote regularly. I think you know, Carrie Fisher was amazing in that movie. Um, it's one of those like it'll come on maybe if you're like flipping through channels. I do I go through the channels a lot when I'm traveling and I'm like, oh, when Harry Met Sally, you know, like I just love it. It's just again, it's a lot of there were some of them like misery and maybe stand by me that aren't really comforting necessarily, but right those are a couple that just make me feel like, oh, it's nice. I want to watch this again.
Carmen Lezeth:I I have to give a shout out to The Princess Bride, right? I don't, I mean, you have to. It's kind of for me, the that one and Spinal Tap are kind of like it's just classics. And if you've never seen them, you do not, you cannot be in my world. Like you cannot talk to me about anything regarding Hollywood films, whatever. Like it's just there were some basic things that you need to have watched, you know. Um, you get a pass because you haven't seen E.T. or Field of Dreams, but that's okay. I love you anyways, so we'll just move on. Okay, we're gonna get back to Hallmark just for a moment, just to see how you're doing.
Andrea:Any any new films you I just saw the Henry Fonda one like two days ago. I was gonna text you, but I was like, okay, she put she doesn't need me to text her every time. Oh, I'm so happy.
Carmen Lezeth:Oh, that's so great.
Andrea:Um, there's one that I've been watching regularly, it's one of the Netflix ones, and it's set in Chicago, which is my really they're mostly all set in Chicago. Well, tending to be New York. Yeah, go ahead. Yeah, yeah. I mean, but it's not like small town, right? Right, right, right. And I just love Chicago and I love the clothes that she's wearing throughout the movie, and so I just, you know, I tend to wear it. What's it about? Huh? What's it about? It's it's called No Sleep Till Christmas. It's goofy, and it's she she's engaged to this guy and she's having trouble sleeping as it gets closer to her wedding, and she things happen. She ends up falling asleep in her car with this other random guy, and it turns out they both and he also has trouble sleeping, they can only sleep when they're together, but they don't like each other, they're clashing, you know, very different world.
Carmen Lezeth:Oh, and they see each other in the at the fountain or something.
Andrea:No, in their dreams, do they see each other?
Carmen Lezeth:No, no, no, no.
Andrea:Sorry, wrong one, wrong one. They have set up, like, okay, we're just gonna meet and sleep together, sleep, truly sleep, like fall asleep together, you know. So they do this over a period of time, and you know, you can imagine where that all goes.
Carmen Lezeth:So okay, I don't know this one. There is one that's similar because they're all kind of the same, like they steal from each other. Where two people are sleeping, they don't know each other, they don't sleep in the car together. I don't remember that part, but then they meet in each other's dreams. Oh no, I don't know. Yeah, it's very interesting. And then, and I forget how they and then they end up meeting in person, so they keep trying to fall asleep because they know that's the one. I forget what that one is, too. So they're like trying to go get back to their dreams, trying to get back to their dreams, but then they do eventually like the ending is that they meet in person at a fountain, which for some reason in the dream, the fountain is the thing. Maybe they flip the coin in and made a wish. You know, that's one of the tropes, too. Like they they flip the coin in at the same time at opposite ends or whatever, and then somehow like met in the middle. Look at the thing is those are all different tropes. That could be 17 different movies, but it's like all the same.
Andrea:So so here's a thing that happened to me regarding Hallmark. So I put on Hallmark, but this is a couple of nights ago, and I had a lot of work to do. So I'm like, I'm just gonna put on the background, you'll probably be something I've already seen, you know, whatever. And I'm kind of like half paying attention, but not really. And I see one of the Hallmark ladies that I've seen in another show, and it's like a period piece, right? She's dressed up, she's like by a train, and there's this guy, and I'm like, wow, they were really digging through the bottom of the barrel for this guy. Like he just like so wooden and like terrible, and the way, you know, his his whatever. And and I, you know, so I'm like dipping in, dipping out, and then I realize, like, oh, like they're making a movie, right? They're shooting it. I'm like, so it's like a Christmas movie within a Christmas movie, right? Like they're shooting this because there's the director, and he's like, okay, now we want you to do blah blah blah. And and the guy's like, oh, it's just really hard. I'm like staring into her blue eyes, and da-da-da. And I'm like, oh, okay, you know, I know where this is going, right? And I dip back out and do my work, and then I dip back in. It's a reality show. They're trying to find like the next Hallmark hunt. Mr. Hallmark, Mr. Hall, Mr. Christmas or something. Like, no, no, no, no. And they're calling him Mr. Christmas. I don't want to see how the Hallmark sausage is made. You know, I don't want to see anything. Oh, that is so funny. Well, why were you watching? Oh, you thought it was a movie. I thought it was a movie because I wasn't really paying attention. And I saw my girl who I like knew, and I was like, Oh, her okay, yeah. She did that one.
Carmen Lezeth:Oh, because they're having that. You know what's so funny? I haven't seen it, but I've saw for I don't do I don't do unscripted shows. I don't see real shows.
Andrea:I didn't know. This is new.
Carmen Lezeth:This is a new thing they've they're trying this year. Yeah, I think it's cheesy.
Andrea:Don't do first of all, don't do this to us, the viewers, but also don't do this to these guys who were just terrible. Like, don't put them on the screen like that.
Carmen Lezeth:That's not they're trying new things. They I I think I've told you a million times, they lost a lot of their Hallmark stars, and like they had two shows, like they had a daytime show, and they lost, I think, two of the actors from that show to the Great American Channel. So so that's like like it was kind of like a daytime talk show, so they don't have that anymore. And then they, you know, and then they had another show that was like I think a cooking show or something. Okay, so they're trying all these new things. They also have new series out. I've never seen like it was usually just movies, but now they have like like shows, shows that actually have like six episodes or something. I don't remember that kind of thing. So they're doing that.
Andrea:I don't like it. I just I just want the movie, I just want the Christmas movies.
Carmen Lezeth:That's all I want from you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I I I didn't even think that you would fall for that, but yeah, that that's I mean, I don't mean it fall for that that way. I you weren't paying attention, so it was in the background.
Andrea:That's why I'm like, God, this is so bad. And then when they would cut and it would be, and I was like, maybe it's supposed to be bad, right? And the but then I was like, well, god, this guy who's playing the director is also really bad.
Speaker:Oh my god, you're so mean. That's horrible of you, but okay, well. Sorry, not sorry. Don't you know, like as I said, don't do this to us.
Andrea:We don't want this. Did they already pick the Mr. Christmas? I have no idea because he'll turn it off immediately and probably put on no sleep till Christmas. Got it.
Carmen Lezeth:Okay. Well, on that note, you know what we didn't do, I forgot. We have to always, hello, this is always the joy. Gotta always throw that in. I was looking forward to this as I was watching the movie earlier this week. I know you still haven't seen any with him in it, though. Uh well, just the one, just the one. I don't know that they don't. I think we missed him, but I don't know. Well, I'll I'll double check the listings and uh let you know if we should record something. But yeah, he is my fave. And um, wait, you did see what's his name, Kevin McGarry in one of them, didn't you?
Andrea:He was on there. In one of them, I just know who he is from other things. Oh, yeah. He's yeah, he's he was in that like hor Canadian horse show.
Speaker:Um Canadian horse show. Uh, When Calls the Heart. Is that what you're talking about?
Carmen Lezeth:Heartland.
Andrea:No, is it oh yeah, yeah, he was on Heartland too. Heartland. My daughter was into that.
Carmen Lezeth:Um, so but he's on their long time series that's been on for a long time called When Calls the Heart. He's the lead actor in that. Okay, well, I won't be watching that because it's not and then the guy with no chin that you were talking about used to be the by the way, I never noticed that. Now that's all I can see. That's Daniel Lessing. Isn't the movie that was on last night when I put it on and I was like, Nope. You don't understand. Okay, so here's the thing. Um, people who watch one calls the heart are called hardies. Okay. So they will be very angry with you if you don't like Daniel Lessing.
Andrea:Oh, we weren't gonna name him.
Carmen Lezeth:Why not? We gotta want to name and shame. Listen, listen, I just sat sat here and screamed and yelled about Donald Trump. We can name Daniel Lessing as someone you're not that a fan of. Are you planning on meeting?
Andrea:It's fine.
Carmen Lezeth:Okay, you don't want me? I can tell it's fine. It's okay. It's funny. Listen, I talk about the men I love. I'm not cruel like you. I don't, I don't, I don't judge people the way you do.
Speaker:It's true.
Carmen Lezeth:I got nothing. You're right. Listen, I do I see the no-chin thing.
Andrea:Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm sure he's a lovely person. And I am sorry that I'm a hateful judgmental.
Carmen Lezeth:No, no, send all of your hate to Andrea at allaboutthejoy.com. Do you have that email? We don't have an email. All of your hate mail. Um, all right, everyone. Thank you so much, Andrea, as always. Remember at the end of the day, it really is all about the joy, and we'll see you next time. Bye, everyone. This is so wrong. Thanks for stopping by, All About the Joy. Be better and stay beautiful, folks. Have a sweet day.
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