The Manifestation Lie: What They Don’t Want You To Know

Today I fell down a YouTube rabbit hole looking for inspiration and instead found a flood of AI‑generated “life coaching” nonsense — the same recycled promises about manifesting, “like attracts like,” and pseudo‑science dressed up as truth. I talk about why these ideas are harmful, why people end up blaming themselves for things outside their control, and what real change actually looks like in a human life.

I share some of my own experiences — growing up without parents, learning to observe people, quitting smoking, and figuring out how to build a life step by step — not through magical thinking, but through clarity, timing, environment, and action. This episode is about the difference between hope and fantasy, and why you don’t need to “manifest” a life… you need to participate in it.

If this episode brought you a little joy, consider liking, subscribing, or sharing it with someone who might need it.
As always, remember it really is All About The Joy.

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Music By Geovane Bruno, Moments, 3481
Editing by Team A-J
Host, Carmen Lezeth


DISCLAIMER:  As always, please do your own research and understand that the opinions in this podcast and livestream are meant for entertainment purposes only. States and other areas may have different rules and regulations governing certain aspects discussed in this podcast.  Nothing in our podcast or livestream is meant to be medical or legal advice. Please use common sense, and when in doubt, ask a professional for advice, assistance, help and guidance. 

Transcript

[00:00:18] Carmen: So I went down the rabbit hole today of trying to be inspired. I had a little bit of writer's block, and I found myself just so upset and so angry about some things I found, and this is specifically on YouTube. I went down the YouTube rabbit hole of, like, life coaching crap, and, I just got so incensed, and so I wanted to share something with people 'cause I think it's so important.

[00:00:53] I think many people remember when Oprah had on her show this whole thing about the law of attraction, right? This idea that like attracts like. I think... Yeah, it was called The Secret or something, right? And I had issues with that right when it aired. I was so angry about it, and she had all these different people on there, like Dr.

[00:01:15] Beckwith, and the reason why I remember his name is 'cause he had a church out here in Culver City, and I used to go to it. And, I just remember being so incensed by this idea that if you think things enough, if you really, really, really believe it , it will manifest, right?

[00:01:35] And so today, when I was going down the rabbit hole of looking for some type of inspiration, there were so many content creators, right? And you know them. You know who they are. I'm not even gonna say them 'cause I don't wanna diss them, and yet I do wanna say them. But- What was worse to me was the amount of AI-generated slop that is generally, it's a voiceover with, like, a picture of what looks like a professor or a white old genius type of person. Like, maybe they're trying to pretend it's, like, an Einstein or whatever. And there's all this voiceover stuff trying to tell you the same kind of crap, that, something is wrong with you because you're not doing manifesting right, right?

[00:02:24] That's the whole kind of premise. And then what they do that's really amazing to me is they use scientific jargon to try to make you believe that what they're saying is absolutely true. Okay? 

[00:02:40] They use real concepts that make sense in physics, right? That have to do with, like, electrons and protons and electromagnetic fields, right? We're humans. We are not just a ball of energy existing in a vacuum. We have other interactions, right? With other humans and balloons and cars and anything.

[00:03:06] You wake up in the morning, you get out of bed, you're not just a ball of energy existing where like would attract like. And the thing that bothers me is that I knew this the minute that came out. I was so angry with that, the secret. And this isn't just about Oprah. I'm using Oprah because that was such a huge event, and she had such a powerful platform, and she used it to promote what I believe is psycho bullshittery, right?

[00:03:35] It's just, using science, quote, unquote science, to kind of push what I think is just the new version of snake oils men, right? The, the, that whole idea of somebody is, you know, selling you sugar water in a bottle that says it'll cure your illness. And there's no void of that on YouTube. Um, AI-generated slop.

[00:04:04] And, I'm not talking about just thousands of views. There was so many of them that had 500,000 views and 500,000 followers. You know, like... And I was like, "Are you kidding me? This is the stuff the algorithm is pushing out?" And then I realized people are craving an answer to why they don't have what they want in their life, and I totally get it.

[00:04:32] I understand that. We all want to be who we think we should be, right? Who we know we can be if given the right opportunity. As I was looking at all of these and getting more and more angry and more and more incensed We are all craving to be our best selves, and what we end up doing, which is naturally human, this is so natural, is we start looking at other people and we're like, "Well, well they have it.

[00:05:02] They have the money they need. They're able to show their skills and talents. What about me?" That's not a bad thing. It's very, very human And here's what I wanna say. Because of my life experience that was none of my doing, I learned to observe people in a different way. So for those of you who are new here or don't know, I grew up without parents, and because of that situation, I was privileged enough to be loved by so many different people in the community and taken in by so many people in the community that I was always able to stay at somebody's house or, you know, it- there's a lot there.

[00:05:48] I'm looking at the positive part of it because that's who I am. But we all have a story. Everybody has a story about their childhood and I'm someone who believes that one person's childhood isn't better or worse than others. Some of us have really bad moments and bad circumstances, and the trick or the real job of what we can do is find our way through it.

[00:06:12] And so I look back on my life not devoid of all the tragedy that was a part of it, but I look at the good parts. And this is one of the good parts. I wrote an entire book about the people that mentored me and walked me through. Some of them were strangers, some of them were just parents of the organizations I was part of.

[00:06:31] Some of them were dear, good, great friends who let me stay on their couch. But my point is, is in that experience, I was able to turn around and observe, observe people and just watch them from a distance. Because no matter what, I wasn't really part of their families, right? I was, but I wasn't. And so I always had a little bit of distance, and I could just listen and learn.

[00:06:58] And I learned a lot about people and about the human spirit. And I learned about how good, how good people really are and can be, and how devastating it is when all of that is unrealized, right? Whether it's because we don't have the money to do what we need to do, or we don't have the opportunity, or we don't understand, how to walk through to get to the other side to have that success, to have that opportunity, to have that joy about who we are.

[00:07:33] And so that's where I'm coming from. All of this pseudo-science crap, whether it was The Secret and all of that hoopla, or from prominent people who are prominent influencers today, who have books, who have deals. When you go and look at some of the stuff that they talked about, it's BS. But people drink it in because we all want to be our best selves.

[00:08:01] And so here's, here's what I want to say today, because I just feel This is what I'm here to share. This is part of who I am Everybody, I don't care how much money they have, I don't care if it's Beyoncé, Bill Gates, I don't care who it is, Donald Trump, I don't care, Barack Obama, everybody, all of us, me included, are always trying to get to that next place of success.

[00:08:35] I know that's hard to grasp. People have made the mistake of thinking, right, if, if, if you are on the show Friday Night Lives at all, you've heard people be funny, be funny and say that I'm bougie. That, right, implying that I have all of this money and that I have this ability to... I'm so upper class and I...

[00:08:57] Because I always say I only fly first class, right? So that was part of the whole thing, and I only stay at the best hotels. Yeah, I don't travel a lot. Like, yeah, but when I do, I save up my money and I do what I have to do. But the perception is very different, right? Because we're always as humans looking to other people and saying, "But what about me?"

[00:09:20] It's not a bad thing. I'm here to tell you that life is really hard, and I'm not the first to say it. I think the first time I read that was, like, in M. Scott Peck's book. I think he started his book with, "Life is hard." And I don't think that's the only thing that life is about, but life is hard not because of the struggle of trying to make money.

[00:09:45] Life is hard because of the unfolding and unraveling of learning about who we are in the world. That's why life is hard, is because when you know who you are and you can unravel the pieces that don't make sense and not be worried about what other people are doing or think or are becoming, you start to then realize that this whole thing about manifesting is really about understanding what your trajectory is in life.

[00:10:21] Now I know I'm saying a lot of words, I'm saying a lot of words, and I hate that whole kind of life coach-y bullshittery, but let me see if I can do it in a different way. There's this great movie, uh, that I love. It's a rom-com, right? It's, uh, it has Michael Douglas, it has, um, Martin Sheen, Annette Bening, uh, Michael J.

[00:10:43] Fox of course, and it's called The American President. Now before you get thrown off because it is about politics, it really is about the love story, right? it's a really cute movie. You should check it out. But the reason why I bring it up is there's this really amazing scene where the president, which is played by Michael Douglas, and, Michael J.

[00:11:04] Fox is, like, his domestic advisor or something, um- The president is losing in the polls, right? The polls are not, going his way, and it's because he's decided not to engage in the bullshittery. He's decided not to engage in the crap that's being said about him. And so Michael J. Fox is like, "If you're not going to lead, if you're not going to be the person who's going to step up and realize that the people are thirsty, they are thirsty for leadership, that they will follow anyone, they will follow anyone into the desert, and when they see a mirage, they will go to that mirage and think they're about to drink water, but they'll see that there's no water, but they're so thirsty they'll drink the sand."

[00:11:54] And the president replies, he t- uh, it's such a great scene. The president, played by Michael Douglas, turns around and says, "People don't drink the sand because they're thirsty. They drink the sand because they don't know the difference." Ooh, it's so good. I would've played the scene here, but YouTube would've taken me down, but it is such a great scene.

[00:12:18] And the point is some of these people intentionally, and I, I, I am mad at YouTube because YouTube is allowing these AI slop videos to go out there. People are so thirsty for how to make life work that they're drinking the sand, right? They'll drink the sand because they don't know any different Let me tell you how you actually, quote-unquote, "manifest the life you want."

[00:12:52] Okay, I... See, I think manifesting the life you want is the problem, but how you can accomplish the things you want to accomplish, and I'm gonna use it again with another story, okay? Another little anecdote that I actually try to remember when I wanna try to do things that I haven't accomplished yet. So, and, and by the way, when I tell this story, there's a lot of things that happen that are out of your control, baby.

[00:13:18] There's a lot of things that happen that are out of your control, and that's what I want you to understand. I didn't know why I just said baby, but just go with it, okay? But here's the thing. I started smoking when I was 12 years old. Doesn't matter why. but it was cool.

[00:13:36] All my friends smoked, so I smoked. And of all the things I did that were bad and wrong as a kid, that was probably the worst one, I was not involved in drugs, I was not involved in a lot of things, but I smoked cigarettes, and I smoked Newports, the menthols.

[00:13:51] when I got to college, I was still smoking, and I was dating this guy, and we went hiking, up Mount Mansfield. And when we got to the top, I sat up there with him and overlooking how beautiful everything looked, and I pulled out a cigarette. And he turned around and he took the cigarette and he, you know, put it in the ground or whatever, and he's like, "Why are you smoking?

[00:14:16] You should just quit." And I, being the young idiot that I was like, "Well, I don't wanna gain weight. I mean, I'm just smoking. It's not a big deal." He got up and walked down, the mountainside, and he turned back and he said, in a very dramatic way, "I'd rather you be fat than dead." And then he went down.

[00:14:37] I was like, "Whoa." I remember that. You know, I, I... It, it was, I don't know, freshman year or something in college. So we, we broke up for whatever reason afterwards, but that always stuck in the back of my head. "I'd rather you be fat than dead." And I carried that with me till I moved to Los Angeles after I graduated from college, still smoking.

[00:15:02] And I remember being on the beach, and all of a sudden I went to grab a cigarette. I'm at the beach. You know, no one should be smoking on the beach, by the way. But I grabbed a cigarette and I went to light it, and of course it wouldn't light because there was a little bit of wind, and I all of a sudden remembered him saying this to me.

[00:15:22] And I was like, "What am I doing? I don't, I, I don't wanna smoke. I don't... You know what? I'm gonna quit." And that was the last time I had a cigarette. Now let me explain something to you He gave me an idea of why I should quit. I knew I should always quit. I wanted to quit, but it was a habit.

[00:15:43] But that voice stayed there subconsciously. That was not something I did. That was something that was kind of fed to me. And it was years later that it then became another possibility for me. I was in an environment where I had no friends. I didn't know anybody. I had just moved here. I was alone on the beach, and so I had no community to smoke with, right?

[00:16:08] So that was another thing that I had nothing to do with that kind of added to the ease in which I was... I was easily able to quit smoking. Also, the whole thing about gaining weight or whatever, it didn't matter that much anymore to me because I was like, "You know what? He's right." I connected the dots, and so I quit smoking.

[00:16:30] So what I'm trying to say is even if what I wanted to do was quit smoking my entire life, right, that I had started, I wanted to quit smoking, I wasn't ready to until I got some bits of information, and then I had some clarity, and then I was in an environment that I, I did move here because I wanted to move here, and I was in an environment now where it was easier to quit smoking because nobody was smoking.

[00:17:00] There was no community to smoke with. So there were all these elements that helped me change my life in that moment, and so I could quit smoking. Now, the reason why I bring this up is not because I want you to feel defeated that you can't have the things you want. What I'm trying to say is not everything is in your control.

[00:17:24] So what is the answer? What is the answer to being successful, to being fine, to be... The answer is you're asking the wrong question I know. It seems so simple, right? The question isn't how do I become X? How do I fulfill my dreams? How do I... That's, those are all the wrong questions. The question is, what is my purpose today?

[00:17:53] What do I want to do today? What's important to me right now in this moment? If quitting smoking is your goal, you will take the steps to get there. You may not realize that you're ready, you have the clarity. You may not realize that you have to actually stop buying, right? You have to change something in what you do.

[00:18:17] You have to stop buying the cigarettes so that you can quit smoking, right? That's another thing I stopped doing once I made that decision. You have to change the environment you're in. That doesn't mean you have to move, you know, 6,000 miles away. What it means is whatever the environment you're in, if you are in an environment where people are not supporting your goals to be a dancer or an actor or whatever, to have money, then you're not gonna be able to do that.

[00:18:46] That means maybe you have to find some friends who can help you change your job or find the right guy or whatever it is. You have to change your environment in some way, shape or form

[00:19:00] Manifesting by this whole idea of thinking it through, there is no easy way, and here's the hard part. This is also because of my experience, and I'm, I'm doing this because it, it's not what people want to hear. It's not what people want to hear, and I get it When you accomplish one goal, because you're human, you might not even realize you accomplished a goal, and then you're on to the next thing, because that is what being human is.

[00:19:39] I want you right now to think back on all the things you actually have accomplished and tell me, do they feel like accomplishments now? Are you like, "Well, yeah, I did that." Right? people like to point out to me when I tell them I'm so frustrated because I have not accomplished anything on my list that I've wanted to accomplish, and they're like, "What are you talking about?

[00:20:03] You've done so much." And they go through the list of things they think I've accompl- That's not on my list. Graduating from high school or getting out of the circumstance I got into because my parents died, that's not an accomplishment for me. It might be because you're looking at my life and you're thinking it was a huge accomplishment, but that's not what's on my list.

[00:20:29] Me graduating from college seems to be like some big, huge deal when you look at how my life started. That's not an accomplishment to me. That's what was next. But I'll tell you this much, when I was in it, I didn't think I would accomplish it. When I was in it, when I was in my freshman year in college, I was like, "Oh my God, oh my God, I'm never...

[00:20:54] I'm gonna fail, I'm gonna fail." You see what I'm saying? Then I accomplished. I graduated. I got my degree. People are like, "You moved all the way to California without knowing anybody all by yourself? Wow." Yeah, that wasn't that big of a deal. I planned it. I had a plan B, a plan C, and it wasn't even a question.

[00:21:18] It was what was next. That wasn't me manifesting like versus lake and all these bullshittery scientific things. These are, you take the steps, you take the steps 'cause life is what it is. The question isn't how am I going to get to X, the question is what can I do today right now to do the things I want to do?

[00:21:41] What can I do today to be the best person I can be? And here's what I'm gonna say. You all do that every day. You all try every day. You get up every single day and you do the best that you can do. That's what being human is. That is what being a person who manifests I'm not saying don't have your d- we all have our dreams.

[00:22:05] I still have my list. And part of me doing these Carmen Talks, and having Friday night Lives, and having the private lounge, right? Having Culture and Consequence, having my shows, this is me figuring out how I can continue being someone who performs. I'm not trying to say I'm just performing all this, but I like being on camera.

[00:22:28] I like doing this, and I wasn't able to do it in a different way as a dancer because I had a bad hip, and I wasn't able to do it as a person, as an actor, because I just couldn't get my foot in the door. So you know what? I was like, "I'm a, I'm a, quote-unquote, 'manifest it another way.' I'm gonna take the tools I have in front of me, and I'm going to make something happen."

[00:22:49] Is it the way I thought it would ha- No. No. Is it good enough? Yes. Yes. It's good enough because I'm doing something that is in me, that is innate in me. But it wasn't because my energy was gravitating towards YouTube channels to manifest a show. It's because I was like, "You know what? This isn't working.

[00:23:17] How do I change it? How do I fix it?" I came to California smoking, and within three months, maybe, maybe it was a year, I quit smoking because I didn't wanna do it anymore, and because I realized the circumstances around me were allowing me to make it easier to do that. My inability to dance anymore because of a bad hip injury, and just because the way in which that trajectory of my life went, made me then realize, "Okay, maybe I wanna do acting," and I took all the acting classes, and I loved it or whatever.

[00:23:57] And then that didn't work out as easily as I needed it to, right? I needed it to be easier, right? I was wishing for a whole bunch of money so I didn't have to worry about working full time and trying to be an actor. You know what I mean? Like, and a lot of actors find a way through that because that's their trajectory in life.

[00:24:16] But for me, I was like, I can't. I don't wanna be homeless again. I can't do it." And I just didn't like certain parts of it either. I didn't like the auditioning thing. it didn't work for me, which now auditioning has changed. I should probably look back into it again because I heard it's very different from what I was doing.

[00:24:34] Again, my point is this

[00:24:39] You find a way because all the other reasons don't work out if it's that important to your life's trajectory. The question isn't whether or not you have a dream. That's not it. We all have dreams, and when you accomplish one, you go to what's next, right?

[00:25:02] The question is, what are you doing today that helps you get to where it is you're going? If you're just thinking about it, you're gonna keep thinking about it. You're gonna keep thinking about it, thinking about it, thinking about it. But if you have a dream that you want to accomplish, you're going to take a step, one small step today to get there, even if it's a little research, you do a little Google search, or maybe you call a friend of yours and you say, "You know what?

[00:25:32] I've had this dream for a long time. So what do you think?" You know, maybe have a conversation about it today. But you have to take some actual steps. And before I end, I wanna say this part 'cause I think it's really important. I really do think that YouTube is doing a disservice to a lot of people by allowing the algorithm to push along a lot of the stuff that is bad for the human spirit, and I am tired of everything being about money, right?

[00:26:07] People keep saying, "Don't blame the algorithm. Don't blame the..." I am blaming the algorithm. We're doing quality shows, and we don't get pushed along, and their reasoning is the algorithm is telling us nobody wants to watch your show.

[00:26:21] I want to go back to the quote from the American president. People don't drink the sand because they're thirsty. They drink the sand because they don't know the difference. And when you are somebody who has the power to influence what people watch, you would not allow things on your platform that are bad for people.

[00:26:50] And I know that sounds wrong, but it's just... It boggles my mind. It's one thing to have an influencer who has just bad ideas. That's different. Okay, they're, they're a big-time influencer. They have millions of people following them. They might have an idea that I don't agree with. But AI slop and pushing these types of life coach-y kind of things that are, to me, immoral, 

[00:27:21] That's you pushing old-school people who are selling sugar water and telling people it's going to make you feel better, and that to me is a responsibility. Everything in the world cannot be about money, and it is, but it should not be. You should be a company or an organization or a human being who cares about what you are sharing with people who are following you.

[00:27:47] You should care so deeply so that you're not causing more harm. You should be wanting to uplift people and make people feel better and not be promoting things that are actually lies and putting people in harm's way. And that's the problem with the snake oil salesmen is they are pretending that sugar water can cure something like cancer, and it cannot.

[00:28:17] It cannot. But you're making all your cha-ching money anyways. And to me, today, going down the YouTube rabbit hole, that was disheartening. And it's not just about because I don't have a lot of followers or a lot of people. It's because it's disheartening to think a company that is so grand is allowing that to happen.

[00:28:38] So that's my shout-out to YouTube. But anyways, everyone, thank you so much for hanging out. I hope this was a little bit helpful. and yeah, please remember to like, share, and subscribe. And, um, at the end of the day, remember it really is all about the joy. Bye, everyone.