Why Modern Men Are Falling Behind | Carmen Talk

In this episode of Carmen Talk, I'm diving deep into the modern dating landscape and looking past the generalizations we see all over TikTok and Instagram. Why does it feel like there is a widening gap between men and women in heterosexual dating?

I’m sharing a personal (and pretty creepy!) stalking experience that highlighted the massive difference in how my female friends and male friends react to safety and boundaries. Let’s talk about the myth of being "hard-wired," how women’s lives have radically evolved over the last 50 years, and why some traditional relationship dynamics have left dating in a state of stagnation.

If you are a man looking to date on equal footing, or a woman who has chosen peace and individuality over exhaustion—this one is for you. Let’s talk about finding the balance between sensitivity and strength, and why the real goal is a partnership that makes you feel just as good as you do when you're by yourself.

�� ADDITIONAL REFERENCES & READING

On Women’s Credit History:

Prior to the Equal Credit Opportunity Act of 1974, financial institutions routinely required a husband or male relative to co-sign a woman's bank loan or credit card.

• Reference: The Equal Credit Opportunity Act (ECOA), P.L. 93-495, signed into law Oct. 28, 1974.

On the "Hard-Wired" Brain Myth:

Modern neuroimaging and brain plasticity research show that human behavior and social traits are shaped by experience and environment rather than gender-coded DNA blueprints.

• Reference: For a deeper look into the science, check out The Gendered Brain by neurobiologist Dr. Gina Rippon and Delusions of Gender by cognitive neuroscientist Dr. Cordelia Fine.

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Music By Geovane Bruno, Moments, 3481
Editing by Team A-J
Host, Carmen Lezeth


DISCLAIMER:  As always, please do your own research and understand that the opinions in this podcast and livestream are meant for entertainment purposes only. States and other areas may have different rules and regulations governing certain aspects discussed in this podcast.  Nothing in our podcast or livestream is meant to be medical or legal advice. Please use common sense, and when in doubt, ask a professional for advice, assistance, help and guidance. 

Transcript

[00:00:11] Carmen: Hi, everyone. Welcome to All About the Joy. I am Carmen Lezeth, your host, and this is Carmen Talk. I keep thinking of that song, " What a girl wants, what a girl needs." You know, I keep thinking about that. And I feel like there's a much bigger issue happening with men and women as far as the whole dating thing is concerned, and I'm primarily, talking to heterosexual relationships here.

[00:00:56] Carmen: I think there is something happening that we can't seem to tap into perfectly because everybody is speaking from generalization. So on TikTok, you'll see women who are like, "I'd rather be alone. I'ma stay by myself. I would rather keep my peace than, than deal with a man who's not emotionally available," blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, right?

[00:01:21] Carmen: And then you see this other extreme of men, and I'm gonna say it's extreme because, you know, I feel like it's an extreme thing for a man to say, so I can't imagine that all men are saying this. But there are men who are like, "We want traditional values. We want a woman who's home and can take care of the kids and w- whatever."

[00:01:41] Carmen: And then because they're not getting that version of what they think a woman is or should be, like, when they're going out on dates or whatever, you know, they're saying that the women are A, B, C, and D, and it's always a negative thing, um, that women are asking for too much, that women don't bring anything to the table.

[00:02:02] Carmen: It becomes a really weird negative thing. And I find all of these videos, all of these TikToks, all of these Instagrams extremely interesting. I don't even think that they're sad. I think that what's happening is there's an evolution of how we function as human beings in the world, and we're not recognizing that.

[00:02:27] Carmen: And instead, what's happening is everybody's pushing back, in kind of a defensive mode. And so I am not, some dating counselor. I'm not here to tell men or women what they should or should not do. But I just feel like I wanna speak on it from my point of view. I am in my 50s. I have done my, world of dating.

[00:02:48] Carmen: but you know, I, I have that experience, and I've been married and divorced and am in a very cordial and good relationship with, my ex-husband. A lot of you know that I am the godmother to his child from his following marriage. Is that how you say that? Anyways, you get what I'm saying.

[00:03:06] Carmen: So- I feel like I have a different perspective, but even if I didn't have all of that, I am also a woman who is single, and I feel like I wanna just share this kind of idea that I have because I think it might help a lot of men, and it might actually help some women, too.

[00:03:29] Carmen: But I, I'm not sitting here pretending to speak on behalf of all women because, duh, I couldn't do that. 

[00:03:35] Carmen: So that's kinda my background on why I think I can speak on this or should speak on this. Not that anyone needs to have a background to speak on their own experience, but I wanted to let people know if this is your first time visiting "Carmen Talk," this is not my normal "Carmen Talk", but it is a subject that I am touching on in my book and I wanted to share.

[00:03:56] Carmen: So here's what I think about men and dating and women in this newfound world we have found ourselves in. I think one of the things that I've noticed in my own dating life, especially probably in the last 10 years, is And I say this with so much love and respect, and if you're a man and you can just listen to this from a place of positivity and not get defensive about it, I think it might be helpful.

[00:04:34] Carmen: But there has been an evolution and evolving of what's happened with women, and somehow along the way it hasn't happened with men. So let me kind of break that down in the simple way that I think about this Women's lives have changed even just since I've grown up. When I was younger, it was very clear to me that there were very strict rules as to what women could do, what girls could do, and what boys could do.

[00:05:07] Carmen: And any deviation on that was not just frowned upon, but it was also just mocked or made fun of. Um, if you were a boy who played with, uh, Barbies or with Ken dolls or whatever it is, th- you were looked at a certain way. And if you were a girl who, you know, wanted to climb trees and run outside and play dodgeball, you were thought of as a tomboy, but that also had its limits, you know?

[00:05:37] Carmen: So there was always this weird thing that at the end of the day we were supposed to be a girl had a pink dress, and a boy had a blue something or other, right? Like, there was, there were these defined roles even in just my lifetime, and I'm in my 50s. So I've seen how those things have changed. I have watched how girls and young women have been empowered to not be worried about whether or not they like the pink dress or not, and if they wanna wear overalls or if they want to get a job or if they wanna get credit or they want to become an executive or they want to choose not to have children.

[00:06:15] Carmen: These things have changed just in my lifetime. And yet what I see on the other side when I'm talking about men, again, I'm generalizing, generalizing, there's been a stagnation of not moving forward, of not being able to see that things are changing over here. And so what ends up happening is instead of noticing the change and then making your adjustments as a man to that change, men have stayed in their lane fiercely and are frustrated and then get angry and upset and then isolate, right?

[00:06:58] Carmen: They isolate and get mired down in what a real man is, as opposed to understanding that what a man is, just like a woman, has evolved. It has moved on from those stagnant, old school, traditional ideas of what those two are. 

[00:07:22] Carmen: And so when we talk about the whole dating situation, what you start to see is that women would rather be by themselves because the men that they keep dating or finding on dating apps or whatever, at a party, or get fixed up with, are not matching their evolutional progress.

[00:07:43] Carmen: So what do I mean by that? And this is gonna sound a little... Look it, I'm just talking like a real person, right? I'm not an academic, I'm not a doctor, I'm not a therapist or whatever. I'm just coming to it from Carmenism, so you can take that however you wanna take it, okay? But this is what I see. This is what I've encountered.

[00:08:02] Carmen: This is what I have been dealing with. Um, I'll give you an example 'cause I think that'll start. In the past couple years, it was probably about a year ago, I worked at this... I had a client that I would go twice, three times a week to an office, and I would work with them. And I would park my car in front of their building as opposed to the parking lot, because the parking lot would get packed really tightly.

[00:08:28] Carmen: There wasn't a lot of parking available. So because I would get there super early, like 6:30, 7:00 in the morning, I would just park in the front and go in through the front door. And I, I'm a pretty regular scheduled person, so I kinda do the same thing all the time. You know what I mean? Like, I'm one of those people.

[00:08:46] Carmen: And then one day, in the mail at that office, I was handed an envelope, And as I opened it, uh, the... I forget what the front said, but it was clear that it was to the owner of my car And I opened it, and it was this one-page letter, and it was a letter that was directed to me and somebody who had been watching me on the street parking and going to work.

[00:09:15] Carmen: And they were say- they, they didn't just talk about my car, the color of the car, the make of the car. They talked about, you know... There was kind of a poetry to it. There was, uh, that I'm always happy and that I'm always singing a song. And, um, and the, the really important line that they wrote was, "This is not creepy.

[00:09:35] Carmen: This is... Don't take this the wrong way. This is just whatever." Okay? Well, of course I- it was cr- it was creepy. It was weird. There was no signature. There was no, "Oh, I work across the street," or, "My name is Joe," or... There was nothing. It was just this weird, uncomfortable letter And at first I tried to just blow it off, like, "Oh, it's no big deal, whatever, blah, blah, blah."

[00:09:59] Carmen: But m- w- we all thought it was a little bit weird, and then as I started thinking about it, it started creeping me out because then I realized somebody knows my schedule. Somebody knows where I park when I get here. They said something about a, being at a red light and watching me singing to the music, and I'm like, "Wait, what?"

[00:10:18] Carmen: 'Cause there's no red light when you're in front of that building. And so it's somebody who ha- anyways, you get the point, right? Even as I'm talking about it, I'm like, "Oh my God." I got freaked out about it. And then, you know, I, I did go to the police 'cause I thought maybe my car might have been tagged. Uh, you know, I was worried, like, "Do they know where my other clients are?

[00:10:38] Carmen: Are they following me home?" Like, you start to do this kind of crazy thing. Now, here's the thing that people don't know. I've dealt with stalking before, so this kinda was touching on those buttons again, okay? Fine. I'm not making it a big deal, but I do go to the, police, and I go just to ask them if they can help me, make sure I don't have tags on my car or how I can do that, and they taught me how to do that, and I didn't file a report or anything.

[00:11:07] Carmen: There's no, there's nothing, illegal about doing that. There's nothing... they didn't cause any harm, you know what I mean? But I, I felt better speaking to someone at the police department and learning about whether or not my car had been tagged. It still freaks me out. It was such a weird thing.

[00:11:22] Carmen: Nothing has happened since. Nothing. I, I don't even work at that office anymore, so nothing has happened since, and it's fine. That's not the point of telling you the whole story. I am now, so think about it, so I am in the midst of this thing for about 30 days, just kind of freaking out, feeling uncomfortable, trying not to drive at the same hours over there, parking now in the parking lot, doing all this stuff, being very aware, hyper a- aware of my surroundings.

[00:11:50] Carmen: And I called a couple of my girlfriends separately to tell them about this, and they were so helpful. They were like, "No, you're not crazy. No, I understand. I understand what that feels like," or, "I could imagine." You know, one of my friends was like, "Do you want me to go to the police with you?" This is before I'd gone, you know.

[00:12:11] Carmen: Very much a good girlfriend, kind of comforting, helpful. One friend was like, "You know, maybe it isn't anything, but I understand why it's freaking you out," right? I spoke to three men about this situation separately, and two of them were like, "It's not a big deal. Why are you making it a big deal? Why is it bothering you so much?"

[00:12:35] Carmen: One of them said, "Maybe he's just some fat guy in his grand- in his mother's basement playing video games and, you know, this gets him off." What? Another one of my male friends was like, "You know, this is the problem, is men can't even do a nice thing and women get all freaked out about it and upset." What?

[00:13:03] Carmen: Like, what? I am sharing this with you because those are the differences in the reactions to something that happened that wasn't a big deal, but it was a big deal in the moment, and it was a, something to be cautionary about. Okay? And the reason why I bring this up is because what has happened here is the one guy that I spoke to that I would say is one of the most realist men I know behaved more like the women did.

[00:13:36] Carmen: "Are you okay? I understand how this might have felt. Wow." And just listened. Didn't try to put me down about it, didn't try to fix it, didn't try to, to do something to make me feel better, but in a really dumb way. You know what I mean? Like telling me that it might just be some guy who, you know, gets off on this or whatever.

[00:13:58] Carmen: Like, had the vocabulary, had the manners and the etiquette and the ability to not just listen to me and comfort me and give me his opinion, but was able to do it in such a way that I felt able to listen. Now, lookit, this is not indicative of all men. This is just my world and my experience. But what I'm trying to give you is an example of how different men deal with things now as opposed to back when I was growing up.

[00:14:35] Carmen: There is this idea that men are the protectors, right? Somebody said they're hardwired, men are hardwired to do... No, you're not. Men are not hardwired to do anything. None of us are hardwired to do anything. That is a phrasing that we've all just assumed is true. But actually, we have just all got into habits that society has deemed we're supposed to do them this way, right?

[00:15:09] Carmen: Men are not hardwired to fix everything without even thinking twice about the ramifications or the consequences of what that might entail. Men are not hardwired to not be feeling and sensitive and acknowledging of a situation. Okay? So I'm gonna give you an example of another man that I think, probably exemplifies what I think is today a real man.

[00:15:35] Carmen: I believe he's married. Um, I think he has too many tattoos, but that's just me. But Thoren Bradley, which a lot of people who are on social media absolutely know who he is Is he's the guy with the ax. He's the guy that, you know, goes and cuts trees and everybody watches 'cause he's also hot as all hell.

[00:15:54] Carmen: But more importantly than that, he's extremely in tuned with who he is as a man. He is not afraid of his sensitive side. He is not, he's not avoiding being in tune with what's going on with someone else. He cares about other people so deeply that you can see it sometimes when he's talking about certain things.

[00:16:20] Carmen: But when you meet a man, and I- I've never met Thorn Bradley, I'm just talking about somebody online, an influencer. But when you meet someone, "meet" someone like that and you hear them, you can tell that they are sensitive to others on the planet.

[00:16:37] Carmen: You can see that they have done a lot more work than just the surface-y stuff. Now, do I blame men for being who they are? No. Just like you shouldn't blame women for being who they are. Now, here's the thing. It has not been easy to be a woman and turn around and change the way in which we thought things were either, right?

[00:17:05] Carmen: Are we excited that we are not just going to stay home and take care of the kids while you bring home the bacon? That was a thing that was said back in the day when I was, uh, growing up. And of course, of course, there's, there's a freedom in feeling really independent and feeling like you can be somebody other than just a mother or just a secretary or just a...

[00:17:29] Carmen: And by the way, I mean this as no disrespect to parents or being a mother or whatever, 'cause we all know that's the hardest job in the world, along with being a father, right? So that's not the point of this. What I'm saying is there were distinct roles that women could have Even when I was growing up, women couldn't get a loan on their own.

[00:17:48] Carmen: They couldn't... Like, they needed a man to sign for them to get a loan from a bank. Imagine that. Or to get a credit card on their own, they had to get one from their husbands. I mean, we're not talking that far long ago, you know? Even though I may seem ancient, I'm really not. So yes, it's been difficult, too.

[00:18:09] Carmen: It's been really difficult. I'm someone who chose never to have children, and that was, you know... I mean, I think up until, like, maybe five or six years ago, even though I couldn't have had children even though I wanted to, people were still looking at me and saying, like, "Oh, you sure you don't want to get- you don't want kids?

[00:18:27] Carmen: Oh, you'd be a great mom." Because that's the role you're supposed to play, right? Like, that's the role. And for men who don't know, women in their 40s, not all women, but at some point, you- you- you go through menopause, and you cannot have chil- of- children of your own. Like, you can't bear children. So that's why I said that, in case some people don't understand that.

[00:18:49] Carmen: There's a cutoff time biologically, and every woman is different. But my point is, is those traditional roles are still there, so it's been hard, I know for me, to always tell people, like, "Well, I don't wanna have children. I've never wanted to have children. 

[00:19:05] Carmen: that was a hard thing to have to do, and I think nowadays it's probably a little bit easier for women not to have to make that choice in their 20s or to have to justify if they choose not to have children. So it's been hard for women also to evolve into this new space.

[00:19:23] Carmen: It has been hard to also realize, like... 'Cause if you remember, you, you could do everything. You could be the mother. You could be the executive. You could be the good wife. You could be... That was a lot. You know what? No, not everybody wants to do all of that, right? So women had to make adjustments and sacrifices, too, to evolve into the space that they're in now.

[00:19:47] Carmen: So here's where we are with men. This is the issue now. Men have not pushed forward. Men continue to be in that space, "Well, I'm the provider. Uh, I'm, I'm going to protect the woman. I'm going to..." All of this stuffage, that sounds great, but it's also archaic because maybe the woman makes more money than you do.

[00:20:13] Carmen: Maybe, maybe that's just the way it is. Is that a problem for you? For a lot of men, and a lot of men that I was with, that was a huge, big deal that I was the one who brought more money onto the table. That's huge. Men have to figure out a way to reconcile that. Like, if you wanna date a woman who is of quality and, you know, whatever you're attracted to and whatever, it's also possible that she's making more money than you, or has more education than you do, or...

[00:20:46] Carmen: And that might be hard for the societal implication that a man is supposed to be A, B, C, and D. And what I'm saying is all of that has changed. That is not what makes a man, that you bring home the bacon, you bring home the money. That's not it anymore. It has changed. Other ways in which men have, I think, fallen behind in the evolution of who they can be, right?

[00:21:14] Carmen: I'm not saying all men, I'm saying the ones who find themselves so frustrated because they can't find a date, and so they end up dissing all the women instead of seeing that maybe they have been stopped. I'll even talk about it aesthetically. Just, look it, we're all attracted to who we're attracted to, but there is something to be said for heterosexual men who do not take care of themselves.

[00:21:38] Carmen: It's no longer just okay... Now, lookit, let me also back up and say this idea that people need, anybody, this is men or women, need 15 different things to do to their face, like, if, uh, you know, to do this whole, to have good skin, is ridiculous. Like, that's, that's all an influencer kind of social media bullshittery to sell products that nobody need.

[00:22:01] Carmen: Nobody needs that many steps to have good skin. I just wanted to say that. However Men, when you are thinking about just who you are and how you wanna present yourself, I think part of the other thing is there's grooming, right? There's- doesn't mean you have to go get a manicure and pedicure and, and get facials and, and do whatever.

[00:22:23] Carmen: It doesn't mean all of that. But it does mean come to the table presentable, right? I don't do my nails anymore. I've never been a big makeup person. I am not-- I love fashion, but I don't wear a lot of fashion, like, whatever. But it's not that. It's, like, how you walk in a room, right? If I'm gonna go out on a date, I'ma be working my magic.

[00:22:45] Carmen: I'ma get ready for that, even if it's a coffee date. And I think that's also part of it, too. There's a casualness that has happened, um, to all of us, okay? Look at my Gap T-shirt, you know? There's a casualness. But if you are somebody who is on the market and is dating, then there's also something about just general basic hygiene, right?

[00:23:09] Carmen: Basic grooming. Something has changed in men where I'm like, "You not even trying, baby. You not even trying." So I think there's that part of it, too, and yet you want a woman to walk in the door with heels and, you know, the push-up bra and looking all fabulous. And so she's just finished her eight hours at work.

[00:23:29] Carmen: She's walking in. You know, it's, it's a weird dynamic. If you are looking for a woman that looks like A, then you better be at your A+, right? And the same thing for women. If you're looking for a man who's at A, you better be at your A+, right? 'Cause then maybe you're gonna meet, then you go, "Ooh, okay. Okay, this is perfection."

[00:23:52] Carmen: And maybe if you're both lucky, you find the A++ people, and you're both exactly the same. I think the last thing I'll say is, and this might be the most important, maybe it should've been number one, but not being able to acknowledge that things have changed, that the dynamics have changed between men and women, I think is really an important thing that we need to embrace, especially men who are really adamant that they want to have a girlfriend or a wife eventually.

[00:24:24] Carmen: Or if you can't acknowledge that things have changed and see the good in it, then you're probably always gonna find yourself being angry, upset, and disappointed in the women that you're dating. This isn't about who pays for the meal. You know, those things really come down to, whether or not y- you have made a decision before you went out on the date.

[00:24:48] Carmen: Um, I'm one of those people that if I'm going out for coffee, and I'm just meeting the person for the first time, we can both pay our own. I don't see that as an issue, you know? I think if we decide to go out to dinner for, an appropriate date after that initial meeting or, or whatever, I always come prepared to pay.

[00:25:10] Carmen: And I, you know, I never want to insult a man. but to me it's like if I asked you out to go to dinner, which again, I understand not traditional, but if I said, "Oh my God, I'm having so much fun. Do you wanna go out to dinner maybe on Thursday night? I don't know, or Friday night?" You know, like, if, if I do that and you say, "Yeah," well, then I'm going to pay for dinner.

[00:25:31] Carmen: But that's just me. That's not, that's not me being non-traditional or whatever. I mean, maybe it is, but it's like, I feel like if I asked you out on the date, then I should pay. a man will still pay because they want to, you know? and then I, if I'm still not sure if this is gonna be a long-term thing or, you know, I definitely pay for the next dinner, and I make that very clear, right?

[00:25:57] Carmen: If we're gonna go out again, if we're gonna do this again, it has to be my treat so it's fair, you know? Some men are not okay with that, and that's part of the problem. Like, I'm trying to make sure that we are doing things that are fair in the beginning so that we can have equal footing so that we... I'm not trying to dismiss your manly hood, you know?

[00:26:17] Carmen: I'm trying to be open and honest and fair. And by the way, everything isn't about an expensive dinner, you know? Sometimes it's cool just to walk on the beach, right, and just hang out and eat an ice cream or something. Like, those initial dates don't have to be these expensive thing. And I know some women will be like, "No, da, da..."

[00:26:36] Carmen: Again, evolving, evolving, you know? I want to get to know someone really well. It's, and it's hard to do 'cause all of that takes so much time. But I think part of the reason why for me that I find it really hard to even consider the idea that I would ever, uh, live with a man again, right, like date a man on a regular basis is even a little bit hard for me, is because I want somebody who gets that simplicity That I wanna get to know you first.

[00:27:15] Carmen: Like, do we click? You know? Listen, if it's about sex, that's a whole other conversation. That's, that's an easy one. That's not about a relationship. But I mean, if, if you're just going out 'cause you want to get laid, that's a different...

[00:27:29] Carmen: Then you don't even need to be listening to this conversation, 'cause that's a different thing. That's a different thing. That's a, that's crass and that's different. It's not crass if it's mutually between two adults. I'm all for that. But I'm just saying that's not what we're talking about. We're talking about relationships, why women choose to be single as opposed to dating over and over and over again and getting exhausted.

[00:27:50] Carmen: That's what this is about, and it's like it's not because men are doing anything wrong, it's 'cause men have not moved forward. Men have not evolved the way in which women have evolved. You cannot stand still. You cannot stay in these structures and these ideas that you have developed because someone told you that you are hardwired this way.

[00:28:12] Carmen: I cannot stand the isms that people keep pushing on people all the time. None of us are hardwired in any way, shape, or form. It is not woven into our DNA that we have to be A, B, C, or D. That's the problem with, especially a lot of religiosity, but a lot of old school teachings. All of that is not true. We are not hardwired, right?

[00:28:38] Carmen: You are not hardwired to pay for my meal, you know? You are not hardwired to make more money than I do. You are not hardwired to protect me Do we want all of these things with each other? Do I want to make sure that I protect my man? Absolutely. Do I want my man to protect me? Absolutely. Absolutely. That's, that's the goal.

[00:29:00] Carmen: We want the gold where we're both together and we're, we're, we're, we're doing things as a family or as best friends or whatever it is you need to tell yourself. Like, we all want companionship, but we don't want it at the expense of our own individuality and about how we have learned to live our lives in this moment, and that doesn't mean I won't compromise.

[00:29:24] Carmen: It means I will compromise when I find that match that it makes it easy to compromise because I want you here, right? Because I want you to be a part of this. It's not a difficult thing to compromise when you have met somebody who gets you, who doesn't make you feel small for bringing a story or a fear or a sadness to the table, who doesn't turn around and reject your ideas about your dreams and your goals, who doesn't interfere with the way in which you've chosen to make your life.

[00:30:00] Carmen: There, it- it's not hard to compromise when you meet that person. But I know for myself that I've walked away from some possible relationships Mm. Even the way in which... Like, I, I had one guy who I've known for a while, and we had a great friendship, and then he turned around and said, um, "I don't think you understand what you are missing by not wanting to be exclusive with me."

[00:30:32] Carmen: I was like, "Oh, I know what I'm missing right now. I already know. I am missing jack shit." Like, like, you're not a prize, you know what I mean? This is a mutual friendship. This is a mutual relationship where we honor each other's choices, and you let it grow. I think the other thing is that men are just wanting too quickly to get something that they haven't deserved yet, right?

[00:30:55] Carmen: And that doesn't mean you have to deserve that woman. It means being more open-minded to who you can be as a man. Like, who is the man you can actually become? Like, the real man, not the bullshittery one you were taught or the one you keep thinking you're seeing in movies or in magazines or whatever.

[00:31:15] Carmen: The real men don't shout that loud. The real men are, aren't, aren't that obvious, right? They're... They are just... It's an is-ness. They have both the ability to be sensitive and strong. They are able to be compassionate and loving and powerful, right? They are able to support their families, their friends, their, their loved ones without judging when somebody else wants to do for them.

[00:31:48] Carmen: They can accept being loved and protected too. They can accept love on so many different levels because they're so secure in who they are. They are not afraid. They are not afraid of their feminine side or their sensitive side or wearing pink, you know? Just to bring it back full circle. Look, and at the very least, I hope this gives you something to think about.

[00:32:14] Carmen: It may not be your flavor. It may not be what you want. But I have to tell you, one of the reasons why it does not bother me, it really doesn't bother me not to be in a relationship, is because I can't and don't want to be in a relationship that doesn't make me feel as good as I do when I'm by myself.

[00:32:37] Carmen: You've... It's not about you have to bring something to the table, but you have to be able to mesh with where I'm at, and that's an intellectual level, a emotional level. That's a, that's a level that I don't think a lot of the men that I'm attracted to, and that may be more about me, um, are able to meet At least not today.

[00:33:01] Carmen: So anyways, as always, thank you so much for hanging out and stopping by. I appreciate it. Please remember All About The Joy is a network of shows. Carmen Talk is just one of them, but we have our three other shows that are also available on our YouTube channel. And listen, at the end of the day, it really is all about the joy.

[00:33:22] Carmen: See you next time. Bye. Thanks for stopping by All About The Joy. Be better and stay beautiful, folks. Have a sweet day.